2. Luciana Creed #2
My eyes dropped to the floor as I wrapped my arms tighter around myself.
“I wasn’t thinking about her,” I finally admitted in a hushed tone.
Maddox laughed, but there wasn’t anything funny about it. “Clearly.”
“I’m serious, Maddox.” Through the pain, I still gave him a serious look.
I’d let him talk and now it was my turn.
“I wasn’t thinking about a little girl growing up without her father.
I wasn’t thinking about birthdays or school plays or any of the stuff you’re talking about now.
Back then, all I could see was what was right in front of me. ”
I paused, taking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it before I spoke up again.
“A woman emailing my fiancé telling him she was pregnant right before our wedding.” I took a shaky breath before continuing. “I was young too, Maddox. Hell, I was scared too.”
The tears kept coming now, and I stopped bothering to wipe them away. I wanted him to feel this hurt coming from me… the hurt that he’d caused.
“I loved you. That’s what nobody seems to understand. I loved you so much that the thought of losing you made me sick.”
His jaw tightened.
I could tell he didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to give my feelings any room inside this conversation, but unfortunately, they were part of the story whether he liked it or not.
“When I saw those emails, all I could think about was what happened next. I wasn’t thinking five years ahead.
I wasn’t thinking ten years ahead. I wasn’t thinking about a child.
I was thinking about us.” I laughed bitterly at myself.
“Maybe that’s selfish. Hell, I know it is now, but back then?
I convinced myself I was protecting something. ”
His eyes narrowed as he asked, “Protecting what?”
“Our future.” The answer came out before I could stop it. “Our life together. Our marriage. The family we hadn’t even built yet.”
It got quiet again.
Not because Maddox was shocked, but because he finally understood. I could see it in his eyes. Don’t get it twisted, he didn’t agree, but he understood.
“I kept telling myself if you knew, everything would change.”
His stare never left my face as he went, “You don’t know that.”
“No,” I admitted. “I don’t, and that’s the problem.
I didn’t know what would’ve happened.” I finally wiped my face.
“I didn’t know if you’d choose her. I didn’t know if you’d leave.
I didn’t know if every plan we made would disappear overnight.
All I knew was another woman was carrying your baby, and I was terrified of what that meant for me. ”
The honesty tasted bitter coming out.
Bitter…
Pathetic…
Embarrassing…
…but it was the truth.
“I wasn’t sitting around plotting against a child, Maddox.” He sucked his teeth. “I wasn’t.” My voice cracked. “I was a scared woman trying to hold on to the man she loved.”
The words lingered between us.
For a second, I thought maybe he’d say something. Maybe tell me how crazy I sounded. Maybe tell me none of that justified what I’d done.
Instead, he just stared at me.
The look in his eyes was unreadable, and that scared me more than anger ever could. At least anger was familiar. Anger exploded. This version of Maddox felt different—colder—like he was standing somewhere mentally that I couldn’t reach.
Then he slowly shook his head and chuckled, almost like he’d finally come to a decision about something.
“You wanna know what Gia told me?” The question caught me off guard, causing my brows to immediately furrow.
What?
I thought we’d already moved past that. I thought we were talking about us now. About what I’d done. About why I’d done it. Yet the way he said it made my stomach tighten all over again.
I didn’t answer. Shit, I couldn’t even if I wanted to, because suddenly I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
Maddox let out a humorless laugh before dragging his hand across his beard.
“That’s the funny part… She didn’t have to tell me shit.”
“What are you talking about?” The question came out weaker than I intended.
Maddox reached in his back pocket and just like that… panic started creeping up my spine, because I knew that look.
I knew that calm.
I knew that deliberate way he moved when he already had the answer and was just waiting to see if somebody was dumb enough to lie to him.
When he pulled out a large manila envelope, my heart damn near stopped.
No…
No…
No…
My eyes locked onto it immediately. I knew what it was before he even opened it, and judging by the way Maddox was watching me, he noticed.
Of course he noticed.
The man noticed everything.
Slowly, he slid the envelope onto the kitchen island between us.
“You recognize it?” he asked.
I couldn’t answer. Couldn’t even make my mouth work, because I already knew what was inside.
I knew before he pulled the papers out.
I knew before he spread them across the counter.
I knew before my own signature stared back at me from the bottom of the page.
The air left my lungs.
For years, I’d convinced myself those documents were buried. Now they were sitting in the middle of my kitchen like a corpse somebody had dug up from the grave.
Maddox never took his eyes off me.
“Gia didn’t have to tell me a gotdamn thing,” he then said. “She showed me.”