4. Luciana Creed
LUCIANA CREED
Ihad barely slept last night.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my husband standing in the kitchen holding that damn envelope. Every time I drifted off, I heard his voice asking the same freakin’ questions over and over again.
Was you ever gonna tell me?
What would’ve happened if I never ran into Gia?
By the time my alarm went off, I felt like I hadn’t rested at all.
The spot beside me was still empty.
I stared at it for a second before forcing myself out of bed. The temptation to walk down the hall and check the guest room crossed my mind, but I already knew what I’d find—my husband who didn’t know what to do with me anymore.
My stomach turned at the thought of that… or maybe it was morning sickness. At this point, I honestly couldn’t tell the difference anymore. Pregnancy and stress were proving to be a terrible combination, and I was learning that the hard way.
Morning sickness, I could handle, but this damn stress was a whole ‘nother story.
I had never dealt with this kind of stress before. Not the kind that made you question everything you though was secure.
My husband has always made sure of that.
No matter what was going on around us, Maddox had always found a way to carry the weight before it ever reached me. He handled the shit. He fixed problems. He made life feel easy and safe.
Now, he was the reason I felt like my entire world was falling apart.
It was so crazy how the same man who spent years protecting my peace had somehow become the very thing stealing it.
After making a quick trip to the bathroom, I pulled myself together and was about to head downstairs when movement outside the bedroom door caused me to stop.
My hand froze on the doorknob.
It was Maddox.
I stood here listening as his footsteps moved down the hallway, and disappointment hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized he wasn’t stopping at our bedroom.
He wasn’t coming in to tell me good morning.
He wasn’t checking on me. He wasn’t doing any of the things that had become second nature to us over the years.
Instead, I heard him continue toward the stairs, and a few seconds later, the front door opened… then closed.
Just like that, my husband was gone without saying shit to me.
A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it. Slowly, I walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back. At this point, I didn’t care if he saw me standing here or not.
Hell, part of me wanted him to.
Part of me wanted him to look up and see that I was hurting too.
He did see me… He looked right up at the window like he felt me and our eyes locked. He stared for a few seconds and while my heart was pleading for him to come back inside, he didn’t.
We just looked at each other from a distance that felt much greater than the few yards separating us.
A few seconds later, Maddox looked away and left. I just stood here long after he disappeared from sight, because something told me this wasn’t just another argument. This wasn’t another rough patch we’d eventually laugh about years from now.
For the first time since we’d been together, I was genuinely afraid I might lose my husband and just the thought of that made more tears fall from my eyes.
I continued standing here until my eyes became blurry, hoping I’d feel better once he was gone, hoping the knot in my chest would loosen enough for me to breathe normally again.
It didn’t.
If anything, the shit got worse, because now there was nothing left to distract me from the truth. Maddox knew. Not just pieces of it, but everything. The lie I’d spent years burying had finally surfaced, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to shove them back down again.
Closing my eyes, I pressed my palm against my stomach and forced myself to take a deep breath. Falling apart wasn’t an option. Not when I had two little boys depending on me and another baby, hopefully my baby girl, growing inside of me.
Eventually, I pulled myself away from the window and headed downstairs. The house felt different this morning.
It was colder, even with Maddox not being here, like he’d left his presence behind.
After getting myself together, I headed downstairs. I stood in the kitchen staring at the island for a second before my eyes landed on the paperwork that was still there—still sitting exactly where Maddox had left it.
My chest automatically tightened, almost immediately.
For one stupid moment, I considered throwing the shit away, every piece of paper there were. Not because it would change anything, because looking at it felt like staring directly at the worst decision I’d ever made.
Instead, I left it alone…
…just like he had.
A few minutes later, I heard footsteps upstairs then MJ came down. Michael wasn’t far behind.
The boys immediately started arguing about something involving a video game neither one of them had been allowed to play before school. Anything to get on my nerves this morning.
Normally I would’ve laughed, but today, I didn’t have it in me.
“Enough,” I told them as I grabbed bowls from the cabinet. “Both of ya’ll sit down.”
They listened surprisingly fast.
Maybe because they sensed something was off.
Kids noticed more than adults gave them credit for.
The entire breakfast felt strange. MJ kept glancing around. Michael kept asking questions, and eventually one finally came that I knew was coming.
“Where Dad at?” My hand froze around the orange juice container. Only for a second. Then I forced myself to keep pouring.
“He had to leave early,” I told them both, but looking at MJ since he was the one that asked.
Michael frowned. “He ain’t tell us bye.”
“No,” I said in a low tone, praying they couldn’t hear the hurt behind it. “He was in a hurry.”
Neither one of them questioned it after that.
Thank God… Because I wasn’t sure how much more pretending I had left in me.
The drive to school passed in a blur.
MJ spent most of it talking about a project he was working on while Michael interrupted every five seconds to talk about something completely unrelated. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve enjoyed listening to them.
Today, every thought kept circling back to Maddox.
To the look on his face…
To the disappointment in his voice…
To the fact that he’d slept in another room for the first time since we’d been married…
That hurt more this morning than it had last night, because last night felt temporary. This morning felt real.
By the time we pulled into the school parking lot, my nerves were stretched so thin that I thought I might break.
I walked the boys inside, kissed both of them goodbye, and watched them disappear down the hallway.
For a second, I just stood here.
The school buzzed with activity around me. Parents were coming and going. Teachers greeted students. Children laughed as they hurried toward classrooms.
Life was moving, but mine felt stuck.
Finally, I turned and headed back to my car. The second I climbed inside, I gripped the steering wheel and closed my eyes.
A tear slid down my cheek before I quickly wiped it away only for another one to roll down… then another one.
My mother’s house was nearly thirty minutes away, and without my consent, I started the engine, because right now, she was the only person I could think of who might tell me the truth…
Even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
The drive felt longer than thirty minutes.
Maybe because my mind wouldn’t stop running. Every red light gave me another opportunity to replay the last twenty-four hours. Every stop sign brought another memory. Another question. Another reminder that my life looked completely different than it had a few days ago.
By the time I pulled into my mother’s driveway, my nerves were shot.
Her car was already there, which wasn’t surprising. My mother had retired years ago and spent most of her days doing whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Before I could talk myself out of it, I cut the engine off and climbed out.
The second I stepped onto the front porch, the smell of fresh flowers hit me.
Of course.
My mother was probably somewhere in the backyard tending to her garden. She treated those flowers better than most people treated their children.
Using the spare key she’d given me years ago, I unlocked the front door and stepped inside.
“Ma?” I called out, but she didn’t answer.
I kicked my shoes off near the entrance and made my way toward the kitchen. Normally, being here brought me comfort, but today, not even this felt strong enough to quiet my thoughts.
“Luciana?”
I turned toward the sound of my mother’s voice just as she walked into the kitchen carrying a basket filled with flowers she’d probably cut from outside.
The smile she started to give me disappeared almost immediately. One thing about mothers, they always knew when something was wrong.
“What happened?” she asked, sitting the basket on the island before stepping closer. Her eyes moved across my face slowly, taking in every detail. “You’ve been crying.”
I said nothing as I looked away.
“Oh, baby…” Her expression softened immediately, and that was all it took. Not a lecture. Not a question. Not even a hug. Just… those two words.
Suddenly, every ounce of strength I’d been holding onto since Maddox walked through that front door yesterday started slipping away.
“I messed up.”
The words came out so quietly I barely heard them myself.
My mother’s brows pulled together.
“What happened?”
I shook my head, batting my eyes, because I didn’t even know where to start.
How did you explain nine years of lies?
How did you explain decisions that made perfect sense when you were making them but sounded insane once you finally said them out loud?
My mother reached for my hand, and it was as if she’d read my mind. She told me, “Start from the beginning.”
I closed my eyes briefly.
The beginning…
God… That was the problem. The beginning was exactly where everything went wrong.