Chapter 29
Ellie
“Maddox, why do you have to leave?” There’s a pleading tone in my voice that I hate. He glances at me, sees how upset I am, and then closes the distance between us, taking me in his arms. “I’m sorry baby. I just do. I need to get back to New York. Something unexpected came up.”
He’s not lying. I don’t think so anyway. But he is evading—there’s something he’s not telling me, and it’s scaring me. I’ve got so used to Maddox and him sharing everything that this feels like a slap in the face. What’s so bad that he can’t talk to me about it?
He was quiet last night, during our dinner with Uncle Lorenzo and Aunt Mia. Not rude at all, but more distant than he usually is.
His face lit up at the sight of little baby Alessandro, and I swear he was enjoying being around us all. Meeting my siblings, the dog, my mom and dads…I mean, I know they gave him a hard time, but they didn’t really mean it.
Anyway, so they’re protective of me, he already knew that. Was that so much of an issue, the way they ribbed him? Maddox normally has a sense of humor about things like that—he grew up with four big brothers, he’s used to banter.
But if it’s not that, then what is it?
“Please, Maddox, talk to me. We were supposed to be here for another night.”
“I know,” he says, his voice infuriatingly calm and gentle. I’m losing the plot here, getting more and more stressed, and he’s just gone total Zen master on me.
Except it doesn’t feel real or authentic. It feels like he’s putting on a front, hiding something beneath those layers of serenity. “And you’re still going to be here for another night, El.”
“No, I am not. Not without you,” I tell him.
He’s throwing things into his bag, and I feel like grabbing it from him and tipping everything back out again to slow him down.
This is all happening too fast. We didn’t even have sex last night, which I guess I’d put down to the weirdness of the circumstances.
Maybe he didn’t feel comfortable doing it in my old bedroom, surrounded by my family and a zealous guard dog.
We simply snuggled, and that’s okay. I like snuggling.
But even then he felt somehow distant. He was there in body, but not in mind.
He carries on packing, apparently oblivious to what I’m saying.
I know him well enough to get that he’s not being rude or dismissive.
He’s just too upset to engage. I walk over to him, place both my hands on his chest. He finally slows down, sucks his lip as he looks at me.
He strokes the side of my face, tucks my hair behind my ear.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that Ellie?
Inside and out. Just the best person. You deserve the world. ”
I lean into his touch, kiss his palm. “What’s going on Mad? This isn’t like you. I know you, and this is out of character.”
“Do you? Really know me? Do any of us really know anybody? Look, baby, I have to go.”
I pull my own overnight bag out and put it on the bed. I start to fold up my clothes. “Okay. Well, I’m coming with you then. And don’t tell me I can’t, because you’re not the boss of me.”
He smiles but still looks sad. “I love it when you’re sassy.”
“Good. Because I’m very unlikely to stop.”
He closes the lid of my suitcase when I’m midway through adding in a sweater. “No, Ellie. I don’t want you to come with me. You haven’t seen your family in forever, and you owe yourself this. Spend the rest of your time off with them. Catch up, recharge. I’ll see you before you know it.”
I do want to see my family, of course I do.
I’ve missed them so much, and the last thing I want to do is leave again after only one night.
But something isn’t right with Maddox, and I can’t bear the thought of him dealing with whatever it is all alone.
My family will understand if I leave, and I’ll make it up to them.
He pulls me to him, holds my face between his big strong hands, and kisses me gently. “Baby, do you trust me?”
“Yes. Of course I trust you, Maddox, I’m just worried about you.”
“I know you are. That’s because you’re sweet and kind and good, and I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve you being in my life. But Ellie, please. Let me go. And trust me. Can you do that for me, baby?”
I bite my lip and feel the sting of tears in my eyes. But I nod. “Yes. I can do that for you Maddox.”
He leaves a half hour later, after apologizing to my family for not being able to stay, and he takes a little piece of my heart with him.