5. Socha Na Tha
They climbed laughing up her treehouse. It was almost dawn, the birds chirping their wake-up call.
“I’ll go now, it’s ok.”
“You are laughing like a drunk, I do not trust your judgement,” came his grunt. The grump had laughed and enjoyed all night at the pool but was again beginning to show signs of ogrehood. Maya shrugged, groaning with the way her abused muscles contracted. She had swam too fast too much tonight, so much so that her head was still swimming with the momentum. She staggered to the side.
“Oye!” His hand came up to hold her arm. “See? I told you.”
“Ha ha.” She stabilised her feet and climbed the last few steps, unlocking her door. The moment she did, her throat gurgled. She clamped a hand over her mouth and rushed to the bathroom, locking it behind her before letting the stream of last night’s dinner flow right into the toilet bowl.
“Aaah… shit,” she gasped, relaxing a second before another stream came.
“Oye, M,” he banged. “Are you ok?”
“Hmm…” she tried to keep her eyes open.
“Unlock the door.”
“Comi…” she flushed, gargled from the basin and washed her face, willing her lightheadedness to pass.
“Maya? Open, now.”
She dragged her feet and flipped the lock. He pushed in, just in time for her eyes to close.
“Oye…” his arm came behind her and held her steady. “Are you crazy? Locking the door when you are fainting…? What happened.”
“Be…d I feel… bed…”
He helped her to the bed and she lay down.
“AC… AC…”
In a moment the room’s temperature dropped and she took deep breaths, steadying her dancing head.
“Water?” He held an open bottle to her lips.
“In a while… what are you doing?”
“Calling the hospital doctor,” he asserted, the hotel phone plastered to his ear.
“I’ll be fine. I think I went a little overboard…”
“A little ?”
“Fine, a lot. I often forget I am crossing to that side of 30s,” she chuckled. “Put the phone down G!”
He eyed her, then rolled his eyes. “Hey, hi. Yes, I need…”
“G!!!”
“A few packets of electrolyte, chilled water and green tea,” he ordered. “Thanks.”
“I am sleepy,” she rubbed her face.
“Drink the electrolyte, then sleep. I’ll go collect the samples.”
“No, I’ll come…”
“You will rest. If you are not ok by mid-morning then I’ll postpone our flight.”
“G…”
His hands went to his waist and he hovered over her, his gaze again that authoritarian scowl. Maya closed her eyes. “Fine.”
————————————————————
When she woke up, the sky outside was bright, the birds singing. Maya took a deep breath, waiting for the nausea to hit. Nothing. She tentatively turned to her side, waiting for the lightheadedness to hit. Nothing.
“Yes!” She shot up straight, her energy recharged after the deep sleep. It was such great sleep. Her hand hit her phone and it lit up with a message from Gautam.
“I am going to the mill. Drink the electrolyte and order breakfast in the room.”
“Ok, daddy,” she rolled eyes. But she found the glass of water and ORS packets on her bedside, made one drink and gulped it. Her already full energy levels skyrocketed. She checked the time, it was just after 11, which meant he would have left half an hour ago. If she showered and got ready, she could take a car to the mill too.
Maya rolled out of the bed to make haste when her feet faltered. A cramp ran down her thighs. “Shit. What is this.” She trudged to the bathroom, breathing through the pain until it passed. It wasn’t her ovulation time, neither was it her period… blood began to thump in her ears and she rushed out to find her phone. She pulled up her period app and scrolled down. Shit, shit, shit.
Sweat broke out on her forehead. Her head began to swim. She crumpled to the bed, counting the weeks, months. Two. More than two. She trailed her hands down her belly, her thighs. How did she not notice it? She had been eating freely the last few months but this padding wasn’t that. Shit. Are you a teenager, Maya? How could you not see it?
But the last four months had been stressed. The last few months to go through in her marital home and then the final grant of the divorce…
With shaking fingers she lifted the telephone receiver and dialled the concierge.
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“Hi, I need to know if there are any pharmacies in the area…”
“We have one in the hotel. Let me connect you to them.”
“Oh great… hi, umm… do you have one of those pregnancy tests?”
“Hello, yes, ma’am, we do.”
“Ok. Can you please send up one… wait, two, no three to my room?”
“Right away, ma’am. Anything else.”
“No, that will be all. Thank you.”
Maya replaced the receiver on its cradle and began to pace. She strode into the bathroom, looked at herself in the mirror and then strode back to the bed. No, shit, no. He didn’t want babies! And now? No, no, no. She was just getting back on her feet. It was just beginning to feel like life was back on track. New job, new friends, new house… new baby? Ha, she laughed out loud, hysterical. No, no, no.
But, she thought, what if the tests came negative? Yes. That was a possibility. This was just a bad flu and bloating from her months of indulging and yes… her period could have actually skipped two months because of the crazy stress. Yes . She couldn’t ignore that possibility. Yes. Cheer up, Maya. It’s nothing. Just a negative pregnancy test, or three, and you are back to acing single life again. Yes.
The doorbell buzzed. And she flew to the door, accepting the three tests with a kind of dread she hadn’t felt. Maybe ever. On shivering legs she went to the bathroom and read the instructions. Thrice. They didn’t make sense in the first go, and she was a super-intelligent backbencher who aced tests without studying!
“Fine. Ok. I can do it.”
She finally managed to successfully finish the test and laid the stick on the counter. Her eyes didn’t leave the result window. Couldn’t. No amount of pep talk could make her tear her gaze away from that window. It was like all her emotions had gone silent, and she was numb, waiting for the direction of her life to go this way or that. And it went that .
Maya collapsed on the toilet seat. The next second she sprung up, working the other two tests. This one could be faulty.
Yes.
Faulty tests happened, right?
Her friend had told her that story one time when she had taken a test, it had come out positive but her doctor had confirmed that she wasn’t pregnant. That could happen to her. Of course, it could! Murphy’s law worked preciously on her.
Maya shook on her feet, waiting for Murphy’s law to work its magic on the remaining two tests.
But they didn’t go wrong.
At the end of the hour, she was left with three positive pregnancy tests lying in one line, taunting her from the counter. And all she could think was that she hadn’t ordered breakfast.
She grabbed the tests and padded out to the phone, ready to pick up and order when the keycard beeped and her door opened.
“Hey,” Gautam came in, running a hand through his rain-dampened hair. “I figured you were still sleeping since you didn’t cal…” he trailed. “Maya? Are you vomiting again? Sit down.”
She shook her head. And it hit. Shit. She would have to tell him. Tell everybody. Her parents, her friends, her colleagues. She would have to tell everybody unless she pretended to eat a lot and convince them all that it was her food belly.
“Maya?” He came to her and held her shoulders, pushing her down on the bed. “Did you drink that ORS? What is that in your hand…?” He reached and pulled one of the sticks. And froze. She wasn’t looking at him, but she knew he was muted. Nothing moved in the room. No sound came.
“Aahhhhhhh,” she exhaled, pushing her head between her thighs as her breath came in pants. “Aaaah,” she hyperventilated. “Phew… phew…”
“You didn’t know about it?”
“Know?” She pulled up straight, hysterical laughter on her mouth. “Is this the face of a girl who knows she was pregnant?”
“I mean…”
“I didn’t know ! And that too after the divorce… he didn’t want children, we fought because of that… he wouldn’t want it now too. What’s going to happen? How will I do it? My mother… who will help me? All my friends are busy with their kids! My maasi is there but she is in America. If I have to give birth and go to the hospital, I will have to keep an Uber on standby. And when it grows up I will have to put it in school and become a school-picking mom. If he plays football or something I’ll have to pretend to cheer and understand all the scores and stuff. How will I do it? If it raids all my sketch pens and spoils my designs…” she ran across the room and pulled open the minibar. She grabbed a can of beer and snapped it open, ready to bottom-up for some borrowed calm.
“Maya, no!” He called out. “The baby.”
Shit. She banged the can back on the table and turned to the window. The rain was blowing down hard, the trees swinging, the tall ones bending in half with the wind. She tried to borrow calm from there.
“I think you should sit down.”
“I am fine here. It feels better.”
“You fainted and vomited…”
“It was because of this. I think.”
“Do you want to postpone the flight?”
“No, we should go. I am good to travel.”
“Alright, I’ll pack and call you. We have to leave in half an hour if we are to catch that flight.
She nodded, didn’t turn. And he clicked the door shut.
The room was still, the two pregnancy tests still crushed in her hand. The rain continued to tussle with the world outside.