CHAPTER 1 #3
I continued to admire the corpse while Alice went to fetch the replacement limbs.
When the whirring of a saw echoed loudly through the metal room, I didn’t even lift my gaze, entirely unbothered.
Once she returned a short while later, she came bearing two small black garbage bags, each tied with a knot at the top.
“Here we go.” She set them in with the body, and I proceeded to help her zip him up into one of the classic black body bags.
“I wouldn’t take too long getting him home,” she warned, pulling off her rubber medical gloves.
“It may be October, but he’ll still need put on some ice. I assume you need him... fresh?”
I nodded eagerly, “Home. Ice. Got it.”
“Also, here.”
She handed me two things. The first was a small sewing kit filled with everything I would need to reattach the limbs; the second was a small black satchel-like case with the bold white letters “AED” on it.
I gave her a confused frown.
“You might need it.” She shrugged. “Ya know, in case your magic needs a little boost to get his heart going.”
“Why do you have this?” I asked her incredulously. “You work in a morgue.”
“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed,” she said dryly, then rolled her eyes. “Might as well have it and not need it than need it and not have it. And if you do, just bump it with your magic and it should override the system to deliver shocks.”
“You think I’m ‘gonna to need to jumpstart him like a car?” I sounded thoroughly scandalized.
“Look, I don’t dabble in arcane arts or magic, okay? I don’t know what you guys need to reanimate a corpse.”
Neither do I, I thought to myself.
“You better not go getting yourself into trouble,” she continued, pointing a painted nail in my direction. “I know necromancy is still banned. I would totally visit you in prison, but please be careful.”
“Only in trouble if I get caught,” I chimed.
But then, a new worry suddenly emerged. Not for me, but for Alice.
“You won’t get in trouble, right?”
“No way.” She waved off the idea of her getting caught like she’d sooner allow me to turn her into a newt. “I’ll just document that I came in early and completed the scheduled cremations.”
“And that’s why you’re the smart one.”
“And you’re the cute one.” She winked.
I chuckled then clapped my hands together like an overenthusiastic cheerleader,
“Alrighty then! Let’s get this hunk into my trunk.”
She blinked humorlessly at me, clearly not finding me funny.
I propped my hand on my hip. “Come on, that was a good one.”
“The fact that you’re still single astounds me.” She shook her head.
After sliding the body onto a transfer gurney, we then wheeled our way through the building’s hallways managing to go unseen by the evening cleaning crew. We had even taken the back halls Alice knew didn’t have security cameras. Everything was smooth rolling until we reached an impasse.
Fucking stairs.
Alice glared at me, then the stairs, then me again.
“You are some all-powerful witch. Why don’t you just...” she gestured wildly in the air, “levitate him or something? Why are we being forced to carry him like mere commoners?”
“I can’t just levitate him.” I released the gurney to mimic her fluttering hand motions. “That’s a spell that needs a source, and I don’t have any feathers on me.”
She scoffed in exasperated disbelief, shaking her head.
Then, with twin pained looks of understanding, we carefully lifted the body off the gurney.
I took the head while Alice took the feet and together, we managed to get him down the stairs, through the back doors, and across the short distance of the parking lot to my car.
Getting an at least two-hundred-pound man into the trunk of my car had not been on my bingo card for today. When I accidently slammed his head into the fender as I almost dropped him, I winced and muttered a quick,
“Oops, sorry.”
“You’re apologizing to a corpse, Vic.” Alice helpfully reminded me.
“Hey, this is my future boyfriend here,” I scolded her with a grunt as we deposited him into the trunk, right next to the shovel. Which Alice had the decency not to ask about. I slammed it shut with a satisfying thump. “Have some respect.”
“You are insufferable,” Alice whined as she dusted her hands off. “Will you need my help putting him together?”
I waved her off. “Nah, I’ll manage.”
Afterall, I had taken a sewing class in high school. And magic would surely help. How hard could it really be?
“Thanks again, Ali Cat,” I told her as I got into the driver’s seat and clicked the buckle.
“You know, this guy is pretty damn lucky. He’s going to get a second chance at life with you.”
I rolled my eyes affectionately, “Don’t go all mushy on me. It doesn’t fit the bad-ass-bitch vibes you have going on.”
She flicked my forehead and I winced at the sting. Then she gave me a beaming smile.
“Good luck, you crazy bastard.”
I threw my hand out the window and flipped her off with a grin as I pulled out of the empty parking lot. I drove particularly carefully as I made my way home, stopping for a few bags of ice along the way. Afterall, I had precious cargo in my trunk.