CHAPTER 5
Don’t hide your dildos
where you hide your snacks.
I HAD RELATIVELY CALMED down as I pulled the car into my driveway. Somewhat. Okay... Maybe not that much, but my heart had at least stopped pounding out of my chest and instead my palms were damp with nervous sweat as they gripped the steering wheel even after I had parked.
We sat there for several moments after I killed the engine, Cam watching me expectantly.
“So,” I began, fighting a wince, “did you... have a good time?”
Despite the incident in the alley and his arm falling off, it had been practically a perfect textbook first date. Well, it was missing the post-date first kiss, but the night was still young!
He grinned to display those dimples for me again. “Yes. I had a wonderful time.”
I released a relieved breath and mirrored his smile. “Good. I’m glad.”
I glanced to his detached arm where he held it in his lap. The fingers were tapping in what I assumed was annoyance, periodically seeming to stretch out and reach for me.
What the hell had my magic done, made it sentient?
And why was it kind of cute?
“We should get that put back where it belongs,” I told him and opened the car door to step out.
As soon as I stood, I heard a soft noise of something being dropped behind me.
When I glanced down, I noticed a little booklet laying on the ground.
It was the one Cam had gotten with our tickets and dropped during the whole...
fiasco. The cover was a bright, cheery yellow labelled with the word “Stickers” printed across the front.
Curious, I knelt to pick it up and examine it.
When I flipped it open, my mouth fell open as I stared.
Had he really...
Yes, he definitely had.
Cam had actually chosen stickers for the prize. Glittery. Pony. Stickers.
I nearly squealed with delight. Could he be any cuter?
“Do you like them?” Cam asked over the roof of my car as he leaned his front against the door. “There weren’t many things to choose from-”
“I love them,” I said quickly, cutting him off then chuckled, “Thanks, Cam.”
He beamed and I could practically see his fluffy tail wagging behind him in joy.
With those dimples on display, I was sorely tempted to jump over the hood of my car and kiss them like a scene from a movie.
Then shower his entire face with kisses.
Then his smiling mouth. Instead, I reached for his jacket and shut the door, waving him toward the house.
“Let’s go fix that arm, shall we?”
I didn’t have many neighbors, and the few I did have were decently spaced out, so I wasn’t concerned with Cam being seen carrying his arm at his side.
It was hanging there limply, seemingly dejected at the fact that Cam was carrying it and not me.
As I was taking my shoes off, I mentally debated where to perform the minor procedure.
The basement seemed too dark and gloomy.
It would kill the mood. The kitchen table seemed too...
Yeah, no. Not the kitchen table. My coffee table was currently cluttered with a variety of things that I really didn’t feel like taking the time to clean up or put away.
Decision made, I grabbed Cam’s hand and pulled him up along after me and past the stairs to my spell room.
It was simply the best – and quite possibly – the only place that wasn’t a complete mess. It also already had all of my spells, ingredients, and other general supplies to practice anything with magic.
When he followed me into the room, the rich smell of plants, herbs, and old books filled my lungs. I turned and could see Cam gawking as his head whipped around to take everything in.
Okay, so the space was packed and perhaps messy to the untrained eye.
But it was organized chaos. The wall to the left was entirely made up of solid wooden shelves built into the wall itself.
I was convinced it was a structural support wall to the house’s foundation.
Filling those shelves were so many books I had lost count as well as perfectly labelled jars, bottles, and boxes.
The furthest wall had a three-paneled hexagonal window with a cushioned window seat, a few plants and succulents lining the glass that looked out upon the forest behind the house.
Along the other wall of the room sat an old suede sofa that had come with the house.
It was a dark maroon color and worn from many years of use.
There were a few minor stains of unknown origins, but I tried not to think about where they had come from because of how ridiculously comfortable it was.
Above it were a few smaller shelves and a small, circular window looking out over the colorful oak tree in my back yard sporting full autumn fashion.
His eyes settled on the solid wooden desk which sat in the corner.
It was covered in items for the most recent spell I had been working on improving.
Beakers with multicolored substances in them sat on ring stands over unlit burners.
Mortars held various powders or dried up herbs and other such ingredients.
My worn leatherbound spellbook sat open, its half-filled page of notes and scribbles unfinished.
“What are you working on?” Cam asked curiously.
I had actually been in the middle of something before realizing I’d needed a few groceries and left to beat the crowds. Then Alice’s call happened and I’d brought Cam’s body home and... It had been a busy day.
“A long-lasting invisibility spell,” I said, striding over to the desk and tidying it up a bit.
Just to keep my hands busy. Not because I was self-conscious about my workspace or anything.
“At most, invisibility spells only last a few minutes. I’m trying to find a way to make them indefinite.
Like, so that the user can turn it on and off at will. ”
“Why?” he asked.
I grinned almost malevolently, “Why not?”
After a few beats of silence, he spoke up again, “Did you figure it out?”
I sighed sadly, “No, not yet. And the last time I thought I was close to a breakthrough, the spell blew up on me.”
As do many of my spells, I didn’t add.
Needless to say, it wasn’t going well. I supposed I had successfully brought Cam back to life with no issues, though, which was progress.
I glanced at his arm in his hand. Scratch that, with minimal issues.
And I’d also made many spells and effective tonics in the past. Even though I had more failures on my docket than successes, I was no less enthusiastic.
He chuckled, “Does that happen often?”
I spluttered out a cough, “Uh, let’s get that arm fixed up.”
He smirked knowingly, as if well aware that I was unwilling to discuss how many times I had managed to blow myself up. I’d tell him. Someday. But that day was not today. He couldn’t figure out that I was a total loser on day one, damnit!
I gestured for him to sit on the small sofa and searched for the sewing kit.
“This might take a little bit, so how about I order us some food. Do you like pizza?”
Cam nodded as he waited patiently for me on the sofa. The dismembered hand on his lap was now tapping its fingers almost anxiously.
Maybe it wasn’t too excited about being reattached.
When I had placed the order through the DracDash delivery app on my phone with me and Cam’s toppings of choice – mine a veggie supreme and his a meat lovers, go figure – I had scoured the room and belatedly realized something.
I hadn’t cleaned up the stuff in the basement, which was where the sewing kit was still residing.
A muffled grumbling noise distracted me and I looked up to see a darling blush blooming across Cam’s cheeks.
I fought the urge to smile, lips twitching with amusement. “If you’re hungry, there are some snacks in that drawer there.” I pointed to the stand next to the loveseat. “Help yourself, I’ll be right back.”
When I turned, a smile broke out on my face. That was the first time I had seen him blush like that. I catalogued it to memory, immediately wanting to see it again. I wanted to be the cause of it. Every day.
I turned for the stairs to the basement and snapped my fingers causing the light at the bottom to glow.
The circle of candles was just as I had left it, bar the few that were knocked over.
Likely from when Cam awoke and came to find me in the middle of the night.
The bowl of the paste mixture was completely dried up and crusted like old playdough and there were still a few drops of my blood staining the cracked concrete.
My healed hand flexed as I glanced around and spotted the little case. I grabbed it and the remaining books before making my way upstairs.
A soft thud had me freezing in place, so I took the steps two at a time as I bounded back to my spell room.
When I burst into the room, two things caught my attention causing me to drop the sewing kit, the books in my arms clattering to the floor.
The first was that Cam was staring wide-eyed into the stand drawer as if he had discovered something entirely unexpected. Like, a severed head or something. The second was that he was holding a long, thick, slightly curved item in his hand. Was that... Unholy shit, it was.
Fucking hell.
My dildo.
***
Well, two of my dildos, I was quick to realize. The second must have been the thud I had heard as it was rolling across the wooden floorboards directly to me. It only stopped its attempt at escape when it rolled the whole way to my feet and bumped into my toe.
On impact, it started vibrating and emitting an obnoxious buzzing noise in a rather aggressive pattern. One I was intimately familiar with.
Fuck my life.