Chapter 30 Avalon
thirty
Avalon
Do you think we have a problem?” I wonder. My legs are draped over Zeke’s, and he’s rubbing mindless circles on my legs.
We’ve been sitting on the couch like this for at least six hours just watching Bones. It’s become a part of our rotation whenever he comes over: Sex, eat, a few episodes of Bones, repeat.
“Why?” He glances at me. “Because of this show?”
“We’ve watched two and a half seasons in less than three weeks,” I play the next episode. “Some might say that’s a problem.”
“Who cares what anyone else says?” he continues. “Plus, in a couple days, I’m on the road, and we won’t be able to watch Bones until the new year.”
“Maybe we’ll finish the third season before then.”
“This season’s shorter. I think it’s only fifteen episodes, so we’re almost halfway done.”
“You better not watch any of this while you’re on the road.”
“I won’t,” he promises. “As long as you promise to not watch any of it without me.”
“How long are you going to be gone again?” His eyes narrow.
“Not long enough for you to watch Bones without me.” He raises an eyebrow, his hands stopping in place on my leg. “What do you think you’ll miss more? The show… or sex?”
“Those two things aren’t even a close comparison.” I drag my legs off of his and stand up. “Obviously, I’ll miss Bones more.”
He pauses the show and follows me into the kitchen.
“Oh, you think you’re funny, don’t you?”
“I’m hilarious,” I reply. “But that wasn’t a joke.”
“Oh yeah?” He traps me in the corner of my kitchen. “You’ll miss that,” he points toward the TV, “more than this?”
He tilts his head down, and his lips kiss my collarbone before traveling up my neck.
“Mmmhmm,” I mumble as his hands hook behind my legs and easily lift me onto the counter. I can’t help but laugh as he nibbles at the skin below my ear, but it stops the second his fingers graze against the waistband of my shorts.
Chills spread across my body as he sneaks one finger into the band, just far enough to brush the warm skin below my belly button.
“We should get back to our show,” he whispers, his warm breath brushing against my ear.
He pulls his hands away from my body and walks back toward the couch.
“I’m sorry?” I jump off the counter, and he turns toward me.
“What?”
“You can’t just get me all hot and bothered and not follow through.”
“If you can go well over a week without sex, surely you can make it through the rest of this episode. You said it yourself; you’ll miss the show more than me.”
“I said more than sex,” I argue. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t miss you.”
He takes a step forward, crossing his arms.
“Are you saying you’re gonna miss me, Stewart?”
I am… but I never thought I’d say those words to him. I’ve made it so far in life, keeping to myself and never letting myself get attached to or care for someone else because everyone I’ve ever loved has left me in one way or another.
I’ve been waiting for the day when Zeke decides he wants more than what I’m offering… or the day he gets sick of just being with me.
“No.” I lie.
“Cause I’m gonna miss you.” He smiles, shrinking the space between us. “A lot,” he adds. “A lot more than Bones.”
“You just like sex.” I bite my lip, trying to ignore the burning sensation in my cheeks.
“It’s not the sex I’m gonna miss,” he continues. “It’s you. Just you.”
He brushes a strand of hair away from my face, and as his fingers graze my cheek, I feel my heart stop.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Zeke’s eyes this soft… and I don’t know if we’ve ever had a moment this intimate. In what world does that make sense? We’ve been sleeping together for months, yet this is way more intimate than that.
I step forward, our now bodies pressed together, and I push up on my toes and kiss him.
It’s almost like his body doesn’t know how to react.
I can’t remember the last time I was the one to initiate a kiss.
Especially in a moment like this. One that’s electrically charged.
Aside from the kiss before his banquet, he’s avoided kissing me because he knows I don’t like to kiss during sex, and he wants to respect that by not overdoing it in our day-to-day.
And I appreciate that.
But now I’m telling him I don’t care.
And I hope he gets that message.
His finger tucking under my chin, pulling me toward him while he pushes us back toward the wall, leads me to believe he does.
I don’t know why I’m surprised, though. Sometimes, I think Zeke knows me better than I know myself. Like he gets the thoughts in my head before I do.
His tongue finds its way into my mouth, dancing around with my own. This kiss is a mixture of emotions, but it makes sense when it comes to our relationship.
It’s soft, yet hungry. It’s romantic but full of lust.
And it has our first kiss beat in every regard.
He pulls back, and as he does, he pulls on my bottom lip with his teeth.
His chest rises and falls rapidly, his eyes burning into my soul as a small smile forms on his face. The kind of smile that says I’ve been waiting for this moment… I was just waiting for you to want it.
And I do.
I pull my t-shirt over my head and then drop it on the floor. His eyes wander over my bare skin, just like they have many times before, but there’s something in his gaze that’s never been there.
His thumb brushes against my bottom lip before his lips meet mine again. This time, his hands are all over my body, as if he doesn’t want to leave any of my skin untouched.
He lifts me up, my legs quickly wrapping around his waist, my bare skin pressed against his, as he carries us into my bedroom.
His lips never leave mine. Not when he kicks the door closed behind us. Not when he lays me down on my bed. And not when he tugs my shorts over my hips and down my legs.
It’s as if he’s trying to make up for lost time. Trying to make up for the kisses we missed out on over the months.
And I love it.
He rests his forehead against mine, his eyes full of a fire I haven’t seen before. A look different than the lust and hunger his eyes usually hold during sex.
He presses his lips against mine, but this one is soft and gentle as if he’s cherishing the moment.
He reaches over me, opens the drawer of my nightstand, and grabs a condom. My room is so quiet that I hear him rip open the wrapper, the sound mixing with our heavy breathing.
We’ve had sex before. Many times, in fact, but this feels different. His hands shake as he pulls the condom out of the wrapper like this is the first time he’s ever done this. Like he’s nervous.
And my eyes study his every movement for the same reason.
I’m nervous.
That kiss opened a new avenue in our relationship, and I know he feels it, too.
Zeke positions himself over me, his eyes focused on mine as he sinks into me. I bite my lip, trying to keep my thoughts steady in this situation, even though my mind is running rampant.
Zeke grips my hips as he finds a steady rhythm to give us exactly what we need, but not a quick enough rhythm for us to finish too fast. Almost as if he wants to savor this moment, like maybe I’ll change my mind about him, and he wants to make sure he takes all of this in before I do.
But I don’t want to.
I like this.
I like us.
I’ve lived my life for sex. Sleeping with whoever, whenever, never wanting to get too close to someone… and then I met someone who lives life the same way, and for some reason, we didn’t want to live that life with each other.
I don’t know when things changed, but it was before that kiss.
At least for me.
“Avalon,” he groans as his pace picks up. I can’t read the look in his eyes, which haven’t left mine since we were in the living room. Part of me thinks he wants to kiss me again, but he got so used to that being off limits, so he doesn’t want to make the move.
So, I do.
I run my hands up his shoulders and around the back of his neck, my fingers creeping through his short curls before pulling his lips toward mine.
The kiss is the exact opposite of how his thrusts started. While those were delicate, the second my lips met his, he devoured them.
His hand drags up my waist before creeping up my arm, causing it to fall back to the bed with his as he interlaces our fingers. My other hand clutches his shoulder as he pushes deeper inside of me, every nerve in my body lighting up with arousal as he moans against my mouth.
Zeke’s lips leave mine, his teeth digging into my bottom lip, tugging it as he pulls back.
Everything around us fades as the pleasure builds inside of me; my only focus is the smile forming on Zeke’s lips as he picks up his tempo.
My eyes flutter shut, and my toes curl as the pleasure fills me.
He captures my moan with a kiss as I fall apart, the sensation burning through my veins as he tips over the edge with me.