Chapter 20
It was after midnight when the girls finally went to bed.
The three of them had spent the evening laughing and chatting as they reminisced with their mother about their childhood.
They had found a box containing Elizabeth’s ancient Christmas decorations in the attic and had set about decorating the tree.
Madeleine had given directions from the sofa: ‘Move that one a bit higher, Lucy’ or ‘Those two stars are too close together’.
They laughed over some of the tatty decorations they had made in primary school that Elizabeth had kept for all these years.
There were bobbly, hand-knitted snowmen, toilet-roll-holder reindeers and a sleigh that Lucy had made out of lollipop sticks when she was seven.
When they had put on all the decorations, they wrapped the tree in tinsel.
The pièce de résistance was an angel whose head lolled to one side and who was missing tufts of her blonde hair.
When they finally switched on the lights, they had opened a bottle of wine and sat back and relaxed in their soft glow.
Usually, whenever they spent time together, Madeleine found it very difficult to switch out of work mode.
She would be distracted, checking emails on her phone or taking calls, and as a result the sisters never felt as though they got her full attention.
Today had been different. For once she wasn’t glued to her phone or heading off to bed early because she’d an early start for work.
They had witnessed another side to her, one they hadn’t seen in a long time.
Faith had spent so long yearning for the closeness that seemed to come so easily to other mothers and daughters.
When she saw the relationships her friends had with their mothers, it always made her sad about the way things were between her and her mum.
But today it had felt like they were a normal family, and she had loved it.
‘What a day.’ Lucy sighed as she laid her head on the pillow later that evening. ‘First we bump into Jack and his beautiful family, then Kyle turns up.’
Faith lay in her own bed, looking over at Lucy who was bathed silver by the moonlight that crept around the edges of the curtains.
‘How did it feel when you saw Kyle again after the time apart?’
Lucy groaned. ‘It brought everything back up again. Being in Inishbeg Cove for the last few weeks has allowed me to push it all out of my head, and for the most part I was able to forget about the issues between us. To be honest, with Nanna being so sick and then passing away, I didn’t have time to think about our problems, but now that he’s arrived in the village, I guess I’ll have to face up to them… ’
‘You can’t bury your head in the sand forever,’ Faith agreed.
Lucy inhaled sharply before continuing on.
‘As you know, we’ve been trying to have a baby, but it’s not happening.
My cycle is very erratic so I assumed it was my fault, but our doctor suggested that Kyle should get some tests too.
His results weren’t great, unfortunately.
His sperm count was low and their motility was poor, and he’s blaming himself for me not getting pregnant, even though each of us has our issues. ’
Faith peered at her sister’s face. Even in the darkness, she could see the worry shadowing its hollows. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘I think Kyle has taken it harder than I realised. He initially seemed fine, said he was going to clean up his diet. He started going to the gym, said he wanted to get fit. He cut back on alcohol and started taking multivitamins. I was encouraging him – I mean, I’ve been doing the same for the past year, but I think his test results have really affected him. ’
‘You know how men can be. It can be a blow to a man’s masculinity to learn something like that.’
‘Well, it hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park for me either,’ Lucy retorted.
‘It wasn’t him that had to deal with all those invasive tests and procedures, and all the drugs and daily injections – then analysing every little symptom, wondering if this month was going to be our month, and finally going through the devastation of knowing the telltale signs that my period was on the way and it hadn’t worked yet again. ’
‘Of course not,’ Faith sympathised. ‘It’s a horrible situation for both of you to be in, but you need to communicate your feelings with one another.
You’re both suffering, and you can either let it bring you closer together or tear you apart.
I know you’re used to being the strong one, I guess we have our childhood to thank for that, but you don’t need to carry it all alone. You need to let him in, Lucy.’
‘I know, but it’s so hard.’ Lucy sighed. ‘Maybe I could have been a bit more sympathetic to what he was going through. I guess we need to have some big discussions about our future…’
‘It sounds like you have a lot to work through,’ Faith said.
Lucy nodded. ‘To be honest, I don’t know if we’ll be able to move past this or what the future holds for us, but I have to try.’
‘You two are good together, but unfortunately an incredibly difficult situation has torn you apart. I hope I’m not overstepping the mark, but I think if you could sit down and talk to one another, you could sort this out.’
‘Well, we’ll see… I told him I’d meet him tomorrow.
Anyway,’ Lucy said, her tone brightening, ‘despite all of that, I really enjoyed the time we spent with Mum today. It was nice to have the three of us getting the tree, then going for mulled wine afterwards, and I couldn’t believe when she opened up about her own struggles to get pregnant.
I felt I got to know her a bit more today. ’
‘Me too,’ Faith agreed. ‘I never realised that she and Dad had experienced infertility too.’
‘It really helped me to hear her story of what they went through and and how it all worked out in the end.’
‘It was nice to see a softer side to Mum. She’s normally so focused on her work, it’s easy to forget that she was once a young woman with hopes and dreams before she got sucked into her career.’
‘Maybe there is a silver lining to her losing her job and breaking her ankle,’ Lucy joked.
‘Now that she’s been forced to slow down, I really think she’s changed.’
‘Let’s wait and see. It’s been a rough few days on all of us. For now, I’m just glad we’re all finally getting along.’