Epilogue #2
Ignoring him even as I blush, Rayne steps closer, his fingers brushing lightly over my waist while his expression remains beautifully soft. He leans in close, his lips brushing over my ear as he whispers, “You’re absolutely beautiful.”
I have no idea how he manages it, but even after all this time, his words still somehow feel different. More honest, maybe? Like he’s giving me something precious every single time he says them. It’s addicting, soul-serving, and completely heartwarming.
My chest aches, and just as I open my mouth to offer a compliment to the handsome man peering down at me like I’m his heart outside of his body, Caiden ruins the sweet mood in true Caiden fashion.
Pointing at the top of my dress, he curiously asks, “Can you breathe in that thing?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Lungs are suffering. It’s so worth it, though.”
“Nice,” he quips, nodding like he understands the struggle and respects the hustle.
Laughing, I shake my head right before Ryan meanders over, kissing my temple with a reverence only he seems to display.
It soothes my nerves as much as any touch from my guys would, as though they know my nerves are still bubbling under the surface.
Tonight’s premiere is a big deal. So big that I didn’t even consider skipping it like I normally would have, because it’s my parents’ newest movie that they worked on together.
The first in two decades. So, like the loving daughter I like to think I am, I’ve readied and prepared myself for the red carpets, the interviews, the cameras, and the flashing lights. A year ago, it would have terrified me.
But now?
Now I’m surrounded by four men who would probably attempt to fistfight God himself in order to protect me. It’s an incredibly comforting thought that helps diminish my worries and lightens my shoulders.
While the guys gather the last things they’ll need for tonight, I hurry back upstairs to grab my purse, adding things to it that I probably won’t use but decide to bring with me anyway.
Just as I’m about to leave, my eye catches something. Something historical. Something my children will someday learn about. Something that belongs in a museum.
The bottle opener.
The big ol’ colorful dick bottle opener.
I have no idea when it migrated to my office, or why it’s proudly on display on one of my bookshelves, but I can’t say I’m all that upset by it. Especially since it’s basically haunting the household like a cursed family heirloom.
Staring at it for a long second, I pause. And then I slowly smile.
A light bulb goes off in my head.
An idea forms.
And I’m reaching for that wooden phallus like I would reach for my man’s junk, with enthusiasm, excitement, and a whole lot of care. I mean, I can’t very well break the work of art I plan to pass down to my children and their children.
I snatch it up silently, right before I gather my skirts and stuff the dick into my shapewear panties, thankful I’m wearing underwear that will keep it secure while I walk. No falling out of my pants this time, sucker.
Giggling like an idiot, I have to take a deep breath before I finally leave the bedroom again, the quick reflection check almost sending me out of the stratosphere when I catch an eyeful of the most obvious bulge, even in my pretty dress.
Painting an innocent look on my face, I leave my bedroom and head back downstairs. The guys are all distracted near the front door, arguing about whether Caid’s shoes work with his outfit. They do, but I don’t say anything, because I’m opting for the element of surprise.
The man I’m after is closest to the door, slightly blocked by Rayne, who notices me first. His smile starts soft when he sees me, right before his blue eyes dip, checking me over.
I know the moment he’s spotted the dick in my pants, because that smile freezes, his mouth parts, and his eyebrows climb up his forehead in surprise.
My smile only grows, and I make wild gestures with my head and eyes that he thankfully understands, stepping to the side and leaving Ryan Young to his fate.
With Rayne’s body no longer obstructing Ryan, I sidle close to the man who is about to take a thorough dicking from his crazy girlfriend, pressing my chest against his arm. And then I press everything else up against him, my makeshift schlong rubbing against his thigh.
Ryan freezes the moment he feels it and, like we’re in a slow-motion movie, his face turns to look between us. His eyes widen comically, his mouth parts, and I shit you not, the man actually yelps before he scrambles away from me like he can’t get away quickly enough.
“Oh, don’t be like that, Ry!” I call, walking slowly toward him. There’s every chance I’m jutting my hips out, too, just so he gets the full effect. I can’t have him not appreciate the bulge I’m packing, because that’s simply not how I roll.
The commotion draws the attention of Baxter and Caid, both of whom have moved to stand near Rayne.
Caid’s eyes dip and catch sight of my groin, and the guy folds like a wet paper towel, laughing so hard nothing but a solid wheeze escapes him.
Bax rubs his hand over his mouth, muffling his laughter as he shakes his head like he can’t believe it’s happening again.
Rayne is simply watching the events unfold like he’s used to it by now.
And me? I’m gaining on Ryan, who is scrambling backward like a panicked crab, making me grin even harder.
Thrusting my hips at him, hopping a little with every gyration, I say, “It’s been a year, Ry. We’ve done things my brain could never have conjured. Now it’s your turn. Time to take the pipe, handsome.”
“Get that thing away from me, Maddie,” he warns, though there’s a line of amusement in his voice that tells me he isn’t as scared as he should be.
Now that just won’t do.
“Oh, come on,” I plead, rolling my hips like a blue-haired Elvis, propping my hands on my hips for ultimate effect. “It’s just a dick, Ry. Let me caress you with it. Just a little love tap. A tickle.”
A strangled laugh escapes him, joining the chuckle brothers behind me, and I keep moving toward him with my legs spread as though I’m trying to get rid of a particularly stubborn queef.
I throw my hands behind my carefully crafted hair, wiggling in a way that would jiggle my tits if I actually had enough to jiggle.
“Maddie, stay away from me right now,” Ryan warns, pointing at me just as he reaches the couch and topples onto it with a quick flash of alarm on his face. He knows it’s over for him. I can see it in his pretty hazel eyes. The horror. The defeat.
I’ve never seen a more beautifully presented opportunity, and I jump on it like a kangaroo high on crack.
I dive toward Ryan with my dick-stuffed panties, somehow managing to move like a fucking ninja despite all of the material of my dress.
I jump on top of him before he can scramble away, and I’m like an apartment-dwelling Tarzan as I beat my chest with my fists gently and yell, “TAKE IT, RYAN! TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!”
“Get off me,” Ryan weakly shouts back, now laughing as I dry-hump his chest with my fake willy. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you with that thing.”
“You never did to begin with. You eye it every time you walk into the office as though it’s going to magically appear in my hand,” I argue, wiggling the wiener into him, laughing when he pathetically tries to fight me off.
I cackle like a new-age villain, sitting up and crawling up his body, one of his arms trapped between my thigh and his body.
When I’m close enough, I prod his chin with my bulge and say, “How do you like me now, huh? I’m armed and dangerous.
I’m packing a punch that would knock you out cold. I’m—”
My words are brutally cut off when a tatted, beefy arm hooks me around my waist, and I’m airborne before I can catch my breath.
Bax hauls me off Ryan with very little effort, and I pout with a very loud huff, turning my body to liquid.
Not that it matters to Baxter, because he carries my limp form with so little effort that it would be laughable if he didn’t become a thief of joy.
“Put that away, Sunshine,” he rumbles into my ear.
“We’re going to be late if you keep trying to get Ryan pregnant, and I don’t have the time to make it up to you right now.
But when we get home? Then you can pout all you want and I’ll do everything I can to turn that frown into one of those sexy faces you make when you come. Deal?”
Oh. Well. I guess that’s acceptable.
Clearing my throat and doing my best to ignore the flush of arousal that rocks through me at the worst time, I nod nonchalantly. “I suppose I’ll accept that offer.”
“Good,” Bax chuckles, depositing me onto my feet just as Rayne steps forward with my five-inch glittery heels.
Caiden is still losing his shit, wheezing as he leans against the wall for support, his hands clutching his stomach like he can’t cope with the level of humor I’m bringing to the party.
It makes my mouth twitch, and I have to look away from him before his laughter grows infectious.
Ryan is breathing hard on the couch as though he’s just taken a good old dicking, and I snort as I take a step toward him, only for a loud clatter to sound out from under my dress.
Eyes widening, I look down and bunch my skirt up, unveiling the dick that now lies on the floor like a fallen soldier in the middle of a crime scene.
It’s sad, it’s lonely, and it certainly makes me question the integrity of my panties.
Because they’re either flimsier than I realized, or that bottle opener holds the strength of a toddler raw-dogging a Cheeto they don’t want to hand over from their grimy little hands.
I can only blink down at it while Caiden loses his ever-loving mind all over again. Rayne and Bax have to walk away from me, Rayne taking my shoes with him, and Ryan eyes the dick like it’s the worst gift his parents have ever bought him.
A cursed family heirloom that was just tucked beneath a six-thousand-dollar dress and now lies desolate on the apartment floor.
One year later.
Still pure chaos.
Still a whole lot of laughter.
Still them. Still us.
And they’re easily the best thing that ever happened to me.
The End.