Chapter 26 #2
“I know.” Tears welled up again. “He’s so excited about the parties and dinners and that I’ll be by his side. I love him so much and don’t want to lose him.”
“And he feels the same.” She chuckled. “He didn’t sleep those three days you were gone. Canaan kept asking me if I’d heard from you, though I wouldn’t speak to him because I didn’t like how he behaved. You’ll get past this and be back in time for the actual race.”
I hugged her again. “God, I hope you’re right.”
“Everything good?” a man’s voice asked from behind us.
I looked back, surprised we weren’t alone.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. Had to run back because I forgot my iPad.” Malcolm had entered the kitchen, picking up an apple from the fruit display in the middle of the island. “What’s up?”
“Good news, actually,” Ms. Murielle started before she looked at me for permission.
I liked Malcolm, I really did—a reserved, more comfortable behind-the-scenes person who undoubtedly had Canaan’s back.
I didn’t know how he quite felt about me beyond not liking my intrusion in Canaan’s life at such a crucial juncture in his career.
He was friendly enough and respectful in our interactions.
“Yeah, I just won a prestigious award for my research. Beat out a lot of people to win it.”
He smiled, transforming his ordinary brown face into a rugged handsomeness that I hadn’t noticed before. “Congratulations. Canaan bragged about how brilliant you are.” Malcolm stopped chomping on the apple. “Then why do you seem sad?”
“It’s the same night of the opening Grand Prix ceremony, and the awards banquet is in Raleigh.”
Malcolm chewed more slowly.
“And I don’t want to disappoint Canaan.”
He swallowed. “Will you be back by Sunday? Because we don’t need anything to mess up his focus. He acts like he can’t do anything if you’re not around. I’m like, ‘Bruh, you’ve been on your own since eighteen.’”
Ms. Murielle chuckled. “He does act like that, doesn’t he?”
“And it gets on my damn nerves.” He slanted a gaze at me from underneath his cap. “No offense.”
I shook my head, secretly pleased that Canaan didn’t hide his feelings from others. “None taken. I’ll be back Friday morning.”
Malcolm adjusted his baseball cap with one hand.
“Then Canaan will survive. He’s a grown man, and you have the right to be excited about your award.
” He took another large bite of apple and tossed it in the sparkling silver can by the island.
“I’ll leave it up to you to tell him. Don’t let him make you feel guilty, Kensie.
This is your moment too. We men can be selfish creatures when it comes to what we want and our women. ”
“Ain’t that the truth?” Ms. Murielle laughed.
“Which reminds me, what happened with that woman who couldn’t seem to get enough of you at the party?” I nudged his side. “Didn’t I see you sneaking her out of the house a few times since then? You ought to introduce her to the fam.”
“I haven’t snuck a woman out of nowhere since college,” he scoffed. “And I’m not about to be in your next book about the grumpy recluse who fell first for some headstrong woman he can’t live without.”
“Ooh . . . Sounds like a bestseller.” I winked at Ms. Murielle. “Don’t you think so?”
“I do. Women love a tortured hero.” Her round face filled with mirth as she checked the oven.
“Later with that nonsense. I’m good.” He pushed his cap farther down on his head before quietly exiting as he had entered, while Ms. Murielle and I laughed at the reddened flush on his brown skin.
Ms. Murielle exclaimed, “Well, you heard Malcolm. This is your moment too.”
“I did, and it is. I can’t worry about Canaan’s reaction.” I hugged her again with the excitement I should’ve had all along.
The soft touch of his lips on my bent nape and his familiar scent caressed my nose. I removed my glasses and looked back at him. “I didn’t expect you home until much later.”
Canaan moved my computer off my lap and slid next to me on the sofa in the sunroom. “I missed you. I’ll get up earlier tomorrow to make up for the time.”
“Where’s Malcolm? Don’t feel like hearing his mouth,” I said teasingly. Since earlier today, I have developed a newfound respect for Malcolm, who, in his no-nonsense way, reminded me that my accomplishments matter too.
“You won’t. He actually agreed that I needed the break. We’re a week away.” He kissed me again. “What do you want to do tonight? Go out or stay home and sex all night.” He winked. “Or we can go and still fuck in some club.”
I half smiled.
His gaze narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
Picking up his hand, I started, “Don’t be mad. But I need to go to Raleigh next Thursday for an award.”
Canaan eased his hand from mine and slunk back onto the sofa. “We’re in the city on Thursday.”
I shifted to look at him. “I know. I can be back on Friday morning, the afternoon at the latest.”
“We have the opening gala on Thursday night, Kensie.”
“And that will be the only event I’ll miss.”
“And the breakfast the next morning, and might even miss my practice run if there are any flight delays. Come on, Kensie, I need you there. Can’t they just mail you the award?”
“Of course, they can mail it to me.” I bit back the frustration in my tone. “Yes, the timing sucks, but I just beat out every applicant from across the nation. I deserve to be there.”
Canaan tilted his head, assessing me. “Is this how it’s going to be every time? You choose your career over me?”
Jumping up from the sofa, I protested, “That’s not fair, Canaan. Your career isn’t more important than mine.”
He slammed his fist in his hand. “You will be my wife, and my career places me on the world stage. Rumors and lies spread when you’re not by my side.”
“So, I’m supposed to forget everything I’ve worked hard for since you’re the bigger star?”
“Star? Really?” He rose from the sofa. “I don’t want to do anything but race. All the other bullshit is a necessary part of being a top contender. You’re the one who wants her face plastered everywhere. Miss me on that.”
“Then miss me on believing that my social media presence matters that much to me and thinking that we could have a civil conversation.”
Canaan scoffed. “This is civil. I’m expressing my frustration and anger that you won’t be by my side as you promised you would. What did you expect me to do? Huh? Hug you and smile and forget all the plans we made.”
“Yes,” I replied firmly. “You’re so selfish. You couldn’t even congratulate me. Did it ever occur to you that this is my Formula One win, and the one person I want to celebrate with, can’t because of his career?”
His mouth snapped shut as I gathered my computer and earbuds.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, if you still want me to be there.” I couldn’t look at him, didn’t want him to see me cry. Didn’t want him to see me broken.
“Are you leaving me again?” he asked quietly.
My head snapped up almost on its own volition. “What?”
“The last time you said you’ll be back, you left me that night with no words.” The hurt peeked over the anger in his tone.
“No. I won’t do that to you again.” I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He didn’t return the embrace, but he also didn’t flinch from my touch.
“I’m not planning to leave until Thursday morning.
I figured we could still arrive together on Wednesday, and I’ll be gone just one day. Be happy for me.”
Canaan finally hugged me to him and kissed my forehead. “Sorry. Just caught me off guard. Of course, I’m happy for you. I’ll drag Malcolm to the gala with me and really have the tongues wagging that he and I are secret lovers.”
“You play too much.” I looked up at him. “I want to have it all. You and my career. Is that possible?”
His eyes seemed sad as he slowly nodded.
Unable to handle his disappointment, I tucked my head into his chest, and we remained locked in silence.