2. Holding Out for a Hero – Lauren
2
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO
LAUREN
" L auren, we need to talk."
My cousin Shannon's voice drifts up the stairs as I'm wrestling a brush through my tangled dark brown hair. I check my watch and stifle a groan. It's barely 5:30 AM, and I've got exactly ten minutes before I need to leave for my shift at Sunny's Diner. I usually work dinner only, but I’m covering for someone on vacation this week. My tired eyes are not going to earn me any stellar tips today, I can tell already.
"Can it wait?" I call back, wincing as I hit a particularly stubborn knot. "I'm running late as it is."
There's a pause, then the sound of footsteps in the hall. Shannon appears in my doorway, her red hair wild from sleep, cradling a mug of coffee. The serious look on her face makes my stomach clench.
"It's about Seattle," she says, and my heart sinks. I've been dreading this conversation for weeks.
I set down the brush and turn to face her. "You're moving back, aren't you?"
Shannon nods, her green eyes apologetic. "I got a call from my agent yesterday. There's a part in a new series filming up there. It's not huge, but it's steady work for at least a season. And who knows, it might get picked up for another if we’re lucky. It’s kind of a rom-com. You’re gonna love it."
"That's great, Shannon," I say, forcing a smile. And it is great, for her. She's been chasing her acting dream for years, scraping by on bit parts and commercials. She deserves this break.
But the selfish part of me wants to beg her to stay in LA. Without Shannon, I don't know how I'll manage. She's been my rock since my boyfriend Miles died, helping with my nearly three-year-old son Roman, and splitting the rent on this tiny house.
"I want you to come with me," Shannon blurts out. "You and Roman. We could get a place together in Seattle. It'd be just like here, but maybe with better opportunities for both of us."
I turn back to the mirror, avoiding her hopeful gaze. "I don't know, Shannon. Seattle is..."
"Where your parents are," she finishes softly. "I know it's complicated, but maybe it's time you guys mended fences?"
The mention of my parents makes me tense. Their disapproval at my choosing to stay with Miles in LA when I got pregnant, their thinly veiled 'I told you so' when he eventually disappeared and died from an overdose... The thought of facing their judgment again makes my chest tighten.
"I'll think about it," I promise, even though the very idea of returning to Seattle makes my stomach churn. "But right now, I really need to get to work."
Shannon nods, stepping aside to let me pass. "Oh, I almost forgot. Roman was a bit fussy last night. I think he might be coming down with something."
Of course. Just what I need on top of everything else. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll stop by the pharmacy on my way home after the lunch crowd dies down."
After throwing my hair into a ponytail, I peek in on Roman, still sleeping soundly. Putting the back of my hand on his forehead carefully so as not to wake him, I note that he does feel a little warm. Hopefully, it’s just a cold and not another ear infection.
As I head down the hall, I can feel Shannon's eyes on me. I know she means well, but the idea of uprooting our lives, of facing my parents' criticism, just isn’t something I want to deal with. I still have plans here in LA. Still have dreams of my own.
I grab my keys and bag, pausing at the front door. The house is quiet, except for Roman's muffled snores from his room. It's not much, but it's ours. The thought of leaving it behind makes my heart hurt.
I step further into our tiny living room, taking in the toys scattered across the faded carpet. The secondhand couch sags in the middle, covered with a bright throw to hide the worn spots. Roman's artwork adorns the walls, taped up haphazardly, bringing splashes of color to the otherwise dull rental-beige paint. The kitchen is visible through an archway, dishes piled in the sink, and a calendar on the fridge covered in scribbled appointments and reminders.
But then I see the stack of bills on the kitchen counter and think of the long hours at the diner with measly tips that barely keep us afloat. Maybe Shannon's right. Maybe a fresh start is precisely what we need.
I shake my head, pushing the thoughts aside. I can't deal with this now. I've got a shift to get through, a potentially sick toddler to tend to, and a mountain of other worries to ignore.
As I step out into the pre-dawn chill, I take a deep breath. One day at a time, Lauren. That's all you can do.
But as I start my ancient car, Miles' voice comes through the stereo system as it automatically pairs to my phone’s last playlist, an old Earth Sign song that makes my heart ache even more. I quickly turn it off, but the damage is done. Tears prick at my eyes as I back out of the driveway.
He's been gone exactly three years now, and it still hits me like a punch to the gut every time I hear his voice. Will it ever get easier?
With a sigh, I point the car towards Sunny's Diner. Time to put on my waitress smile and pretend everything's fine. I can't afford to fall apart, not here, not now. And I certainly can't afford to let my parents' judgment dictate my life again. But with Shannon now leaving, do I have a choice?
Honestly, though, what do I have keeping me here in LA? Just bad memories and ghosts. But then, Seattle’s not exactly ‘home sweet home’ either. I need a better reason to stay, other than it’s slightly better than another bad place. My dream of nursing school could happen anywhere, I guess.
Come on, powers that be, help me out here. Give me a reason to stay or go. Make up my mind for me.