21. Goddess – Lauren
21
GODDESS
LAUREN
T he campus bustles with activity as I navigate the parking lot, Roman's hand firmly in mine. The admissions building looms ahead, a mix of excitement and anxiety churning in my stomach.
"Mommy, are we seeing the fish tanks again?" Roman asks, tugging at my hand.
I smile, remembering his fascination with the marine biology department's aquariums during our last visit. "Not today, sweetie. We're going to check out that special place I told you about, where you might spend time while Mommy's in class."
Inside the admissions office, I spot Deborah, the kind woman who helped me with my application paperwork. She waves us over with a smile.
"Lauren, good to see you again. And this must be Roman," she says, crouching down to his level. "I hear you're quite the fish expert."
Roman nods shyly, a small smile tugging at his lips.
As Deborah finalizes my enrollment documents, my phone buzzes. It's a text from Shannon.
SHANNON: Just crossed into Oregon. How are my two favorite people holding up?
I type back quickly.
ME: Hanging in there. At the college checking out the daycare. Drive safe. Call when you can.
"And you're all set for the student daycare tour?" Deborah asks, bringing my attention back.
I nod eagerly. "Yes, we're really looking forward to it."
She makes a quick call, then leads us across the familiar campus to a cheery building with a playground out front. Inside, the walls are covered in children's artwork, and the sound of laughter fills the air.
Ms. Patel, the daycare director, greets us warmly. As she shows us around, Roman's initial hesitation fades. By the time we reach the preschool room, he's eagerly exploring the toy area.
"Remember, Roman," I say gently, "this isn't for today. But you might spend time here when Mommy starts her classes."
He nods, already engrossed in a colorful puzzle.
"We have a few spots still available for the fall semester, so you’re in luck," Ms. Patel explains. "The hours align with classes, and we offer extended care for study groups or lab work."
Relief washes over me. This could work. This could actually work.
As we leave campus, my phone rings. It's Shannon.
"Hey, road warrior," I answer, putting it on speaker as I buckle Roman into his car seat. "How's the drive?"
"Long," Shannon sighs. "But the scenery's beautiful. How did the daycare tour go?"
"Good! Roman, want to tell Aunt Shannon about the cool toys you saw?"
As Roman chatters excitedly about the daycare, I feel a lump form in my throat. It's only been a day, but Shannon's absence is palpable.
"Lauren?" Shannon's voice brings me back. "You okay?"
I take a deep breath. "Yeah, just... it's a lot. But we're managing."
"I know you are," Shannon's voice is warm. "You're the strongest person I know, cuz. You've got this."
We talk for a few more minutes before saying goodbye, Shannon promising to call when she reaches her new apartment in Seattle.
As I hang up, I notice a text message.
DAKOTA: Hope your day's going well. Can I call you later?
A smile tugs at my lips despite the stress.
ME: Looking forward to it!
The alarm blares at 2 PM, pulling me from a fitful nap. I groan, fumbling to silence it. The events of the morning - the campus visit, the daycare tour, Shannon's call - swirl in my mind, mixing with memories of last night with Dakota.
I force myself out of bed. No time to dwell on any of that now. I need to get Roman ready for his first day at Little Sprouts Daycare.
"Roman, sweetie," I call, knocking on his door. "Time to wake up from your nap."
He emerges, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Is it time for the new daycare, Mommy?"
I nod, kneeling down to his level. "That's right, buddy. Remember, this is a different one from the one we saw this morning. But I bet it'll be just as fun."
Roman's lower lip trembles slightly. "Will you stay with me?"
My heart clenches. "I can't stay, sweetie. I have to go to work. But I promise I'll pick you up as soon as I'm done."
The next hour is a whirlwind of getting dressed, eating a quick snack, and packing bags. By the time we're in the car, heading to Little Sprouts Daycare, I'm already feeling the pressure of our new schedule.
We pull up to the cheerful building with its colorful playground. As I help Roman out of his car seat, a knot forms in my stomach. Is this too much change too fast?
Inside, we're greeted by a smiling woman with kind eyes. "You must be Roman! I'm Miss Jess. We're so excited to have you join us for our afternoon program."
Roman clings to my leg, suddenly shy. I crouch down beside him. "Remember how brave you were this morning at the college daycare? You can be brave here, too. And look at all the cool toys they have!"
After a few more minutes of gentle coaxing, Roman agrees to join Miss Jess in feeding the class fish. As they walk away, he glances back once, waving. I wave back, maintaining my smile until they turn the corner.
Back in the car, I let out a shaky breath. The events of the past 24 hours crash over me - Shannon leaving, the night with Dakota, the morning at the college, and now this new step for Roman. It's all happening so fast.
As I drive to Sunny's for my dinner shift, my mind races. There's so much to juggle - work, the upcoming school, Roman's schedules, finances. And then there's Dakota, this unexpected bright spot in the chaos of my life. But he'll be leaving for tour soon.
I park outside Sunny's, taking a moment to collect myself. This is only the first day of massive change. An introduction of what’s yet to come, and already I’m exhausted. I haven’t even started classes yet. I don’t know if I can do this.
The diner is already bustling when I clock in at 4 PM. I tie on my apron and jump right in, taking over from the afternoon shift.
The next few hours are a whirlwind of orders, spills, and the controlled chaos of the dinner rush. I weave between tables, refilling drinks, delivering steaming plates, and managing the Friday night crowd.
Around 7 PM, during a brief lull, I check my phone. No missed calls from the daycare - a good sign. There's another text from Dakota.
DAKOTA: Writing session with Brad went great. Wish you could hear it.
I smile, warmth spreading through my chest. Then I guiltily shove the phone back in my pocket as the bell above the door chimes, signaling new customers.
The rest of the shift flies by in a blur of coffee refills, burger orders, and friendly chatter with regulars. By the time 9 PM rolls around, my feet are aching, and I'm running on fumes.
I rush to my car, heart pounding as I drive to Little Sprouts. I'm the last parent to arrive, and guilt gnaws at me as I see Roman sitting with Miss Jess, looking small and tired.
"Mommy!" he cries, running to me. I scoop him up, peppering his face with kisses.
"I'm so sorry I'm late, buddy. Did you have a good time?"
He nods sleepily against my shoulder. Miss Jess gives me a kind smile. "He did great for his first day. We'll see you both on Monday?"
I nod, grateful for her understanding. As we drive home, Roman already dozing in his car seat, my phone buzzes. It's Dakota. "You free to talk?"
I smile despite my exhaustion. "Give me 20 minutes to get Roman to bed?"
"Take your time," he replies. "I'll be here."
Tucking Roman in, I reflect on the day. It was hard, no doubt. But we did it. Roman survived his first day at the new daycare. I managed work. And now, I have Dakota's call to look forward to.
One day at a time, I remind myself. We can do this.