Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
E MERALD
Milena is late home despite promising me she’d be home by dinner. Even worse, she gave the soldier guarding her the slip. I know teenagers act up, but I can’t help worrying about her.
My mind wanders back to yesterday and the poker thing. Saint still hasn’t found out where the one hundred grand of his money really went…
He was super mad over the money, just like I wanted him to be because I thought he’d made a bet with Alberto. I mean, I did resolve earlier that day to start standing up for myself.
But when I found out the bet thing was a mistake, I didn’t want to upset or annoy him any further, so I didn’t tell him what actually happened to his money.
If he finds out the truth, I’ll come clean. But until then, I’ll keep quiet about it.
And as if I’d really waste a hundred grand to prove a point . I only actually lost fifty dollars to Saint’s men, and I’d paid them with cash I had in my purse. Instead, I had the cashier’s check for one hundred grand made out to the single moms’ shelter. They were over the moon when I had it delivered to them, and at least I know that the money went to a deserving cause…
* * *
After dinner, Saint gets out his chess board.
“Can I play?” Jaspar asks hopefully as he drinks from his glass.
“You can play with me,” Saint says before I can respond.
Jaspar squeals with excitement and settles on the floor next to Saint before looking at the board eagerly.
“When you lose, don’t try to blame my brother for it,” I say dryly.
“We’re not gonna lose,” Jaspar pouts.
“Exactly. We’re a winning team, aren’t we, kiddo?” Saint quips.
“Yup!”
I giggle, unable to get over how adorable the two of them are when they actually manage to agree on something. “I guess we’ll see how the game goes.”
“Can I play as well?” Giulietta pipes up.
“Sure, sweetie,” I answer. “You can be on my side. It’ll be girls against boys.”
We spend the next couple of hours playing, and the score ends with us being tied—Saint and Jaspar winning two games while Giulietta and I also win two.
Milena comes in toward the end of the last game, and I decide to leave talking to her until the morning. I need her to understand that she has to be more careful while Carmine is still a threat to us, and she needs to at least let me know where she’s going and when she’ll be back.
The kids all head upstairs for bed, and I tell them I’ll be up soon to tuck them in.
“He’s a cute kid when he’s not being snarky and thumbing his nose at me,” Saint comments from where he’s sitting on the couch.
I can’t help but chuckle. “He’s a good kid.” I put my hands in the back pockets of my denim shorts. “Thanks for letting the kids hang out with us tonight.” I totally get that it’s not what most guys his age want to be doing—babysitting two small kids.
“No problem.”
A little part of my heart swells because of the effort he’s making with the kids. I know I come with a lot of what some people might see as baggage—all my issues, plus responsibility for three younger siblings—but that Saint wants to help me means something, even if I don’t quite agree with all his methods and his fake fiancée idea. I even start wondering if he could be the father figure that Jaspar so desperately needs in his life. I try to do everything I can for the kids, but I’m always worrying that it’s not enough.
I take a seat on the couch and close my eyes for a moment. “I’m exhausted. I didn’t realize how late it is.”
“It’s nice being around Jaspar and your other siblings,” Saint admits, surprising me. “It reminds me that innocence still exists in the world.”
“Yeah. Sometimes, I’m jealous of his and Giulietta’s innocence and naivety.” I remain quiet for a few moments. “It’s a shame that the mafia life forces us to grow up too quickly,” I murmur softly.
“Did your mom have difficulty finding work after your dad died?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah. When you’re the wife of a traitor and thief, there aren’t many options left open for you when majority of the city is run by the mafia your husband tried to cheat. It’s like my family and I are still paying for his mistakes.”
“I’m sorry,” he says softly.
I release a cleansing breath. “It’s okay. All of this stuff is temporary. Once this threat with the Carmine is dealt with, we’ll be able to start over new.”
He’s quiet for a while. “My parents were killed in a drive-by shooting.” His voice is low and deep.
My eyes widen at his admission. “Jesus. I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
He shrugs. “It happened when I was young. I think that’s one reason why it’s refreshing to see your brother. My innocence died along with my parents when I was five. Ever since then, I’ve known that the mafia is a cruel place.”
“I can definitely agree with that. All we can do is play the cards we’re dealt.”
“Yeah.” He looks over at me. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job.”
I blink. “What?”
“Despite the shitty hand you’ve been dealt, you’re not using those cards as a reason to have a messed-up life. You’re looking after your family, and you’re trying your best despite the odds stacked against you. It might not feel like it now, but you’re doing well.”
I can only stare at him. An unfamiliar feeling courses through me. I can’t remember the last time I heard anyone say anything like that to me, not even my mom or siblings. I know they appreciate my efforts, but I didn’t realize how much I actually needed that kind of affirmation. “Thank you,” I finally say. “That really means a lot.”
He smiles at me. “You’re welcome.”
We continue staring at each other, and it’s as if Saint starts to look different in my mind. He’s no longer the guy who’s pretending to be my fake fiancé to keep me safe. Right now, he’s caring, sweet, and compassionate. He cares when he doesn’t have to.
I don’t realize that I’m leaning over until my lips press against his. He freezes, and I quickly jerk back and touch my lips.
“Are you trying to sexually harass me?” he jokes.
My cheeks grow hot as I blush. “Sorry,” I splutter. “I don’t know what?—”
But he cuts my sentence off by pressing his lips against mine once more, his warm hand cupping my cheek.
And against my better judgment, I sink into his kiss and allow my troubles and worries to fall away.