Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
AVELINA
After dinner that evening, I help clear the dishes from the courtyard into the kitchen despite Viktor’s protest and intense glare. I’m only carrying a few plates, so it hardly constitutes overexerting myself, and it feels nice to pitch in even just a little.
Once I finish doing that, I move into the rec room where everyone has gathered. The sound of deep laughter fills the space as I get closer. But that’s not what stops me in my tracks at the threshold of the room.
I blink. Hard. A good handful of men are situated around the table and playing poker, including Viktor and the men he seems closest to: Nikolai, Matvey, and Grigory.
Nikolai sits with Sofia on his lap, an unlit cigar clutched between his teeth.
And my brow puckers when I hear Leon’s squeal of delight.
His chubby cheeks are rosy as he bounces on Matvey’s knee, his tiny fingers grabbing at his cards as the man gives a slight chuckle and shakes his head.
Grigory is also sitting at the table, but he is more silent and brooding.
Since we arrived, Matvey and Nikolai have been vaguely polite toward me, but Grigory’s intense first impression still lingers—scary and militant.
And none of them strike me as the paternal type.
And now, seeing Nikolai and Matvey holding my children makes my chest feel funny.
Viktor’s gaze meets mine as I enter the room fully. Making my way closer, I sit down in the chair beside him. I’ve never really been any good at poker, but from the way Sofia’s eyes bounce around the cards and room, she’s enraptured.
I watch silently, swallowed up by the way the men interact with one another. Boisterous laughter fills the space, just like a big family.
I chew my lip as Sofia asks question after question, but to my relief, none of the men seem bothered by her interruptions. Nikolai answers her in a soft tone. “And this, Sofia, is how you win,” he says with a deep laugh, sweeping his winnings in front of him after gaining a full house.
Sofia nods and studies the chips before another round is dealt.
“Should I be worried?” I ask Viktor softly.
“No. She’ll be fine. You want to play?”
I shake my head. “I’ll just watch.”
I study Viktor’s hand as he holds it, his gaze moving about the table. The hand on his thigh under the table clenches slightly before relaxing. I watch him, not able to stop myself. It’s rude to stare like this, but I can’t help it.
Most of the men are touching elbows or arms. But not Viktor. Even now, he’s so careful not to touch me or anyone else.
And as his hand flexes around his cards, I can’t help but think about how they would feel. Rough and slightly scarred, would they scrape slightly in the best possible way against the skin of my face, my arms, my thighs...
I startle a little, alarmed at how easily my mind has wandered, the room growing a little hot as it does.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah.” I flush deeper. “It’s just a little warm in here.”
Get it together, Ave, I scold myself, plastering on a smile as Sofia launches into another round of questions, earning some chuckles from the guys when she asks about one of their tells. Even Viktor’s lips twitch.
The game continues for a few rounds as more and more of the men start to lose to Nikolai and Sofia. But my attention is only half on the game now as another text from Geliy appears on my phone.
“Geliy?” Viktor asks.
I hum. “Yeah. He’s been texting me a little more since I fainted. Checking in on the kids and me.”
“Good. That’s good.”
It is, but it’s also made his absence in our lives all the more apparent.
He hasn’t told me where he’s at or how long he’s going to be gone either.
It’s clearly one of his jobs, but not knowing doesn’t really help me.
But as I look around the room, I realize just how quickly the days have gone by.
I’ve now had the week’s rest ordered by the doctor, and tomorrow, it’ll be time for us to go home.
A sharp pang hits me in the middle of my chest.
My feelings don’t make sense to me. Will I miss Viktor and these men when I leave?
Confusion washes over me. They’re just a group of men who work together.
Yet…they’re also something more than that.
Because although they aren’t related, they seem close.
More than close, actually. They seem like brothers.
“You’re teaching her to be a cheat,” Matvey laughs, earning an eye roll from Nikolai.
“You’re one to talk. You count cards,” Nikolai banters back.
“Do not,” Matvey says with mock indignation.
“Do too.”
“Count cards? What’s that?” Sofia asks, and I can’t help grinning as the men all laugh.
The entire situation warms my heart. Because this is what a family is. And this is what they’ve found among each other. And this is what I longed for so much when I was an orphan. But then I was taken by those men—given the illusion that they’d be the ones to look after me like a parent would.
But they weren’t a family to me.
And definitely none of them was like a father should be...
I shake the bad thoughts away and continue watching the game. Leon is playing with the chips in front of him while Sofia looks intently at the cards in Nikolai’s hand.
I squirm a little in my chair, trying to displace the feeling in my gut. The one that keeps hoping and wishing…
“I want to have Sofia on my team next time,” Matvey announces.
“No,” Viktor responds in a very firm voice.
Matvey doesn’t look pleased at Viktor’s response. “Why not?”
“Because you’re a bad cheat, and I don’t want Sofia picking up any bad habits from you,” Viktor replies.
“I do not cheat!” Matvey exclaims.
“You do too,” Viktor clips. “You’re as bad as Nikolai.”
“He’s right,” Grigory adds, earning himself a scowl from Matvey.
I giggle despite myself. Tucking my phone away, I can’t help laughing at their squabble, enjoying the normality of it all. Savoring it really. Committing it to memory—because it’ll be gone before I’m ready to let it go.
Laughter and more games are shared until the dim evening light through the windows descends into darkness.
Nikolai and Sofia are winning, but Viktor isn’t far behind.
Leon babbles loudly to Matvey, who nods and talks to him like he’s in on the conversation and knows exactly what my baby boy is trying to say to him.
The other men around the table seem to be enjoying themselves as well—even Grigory to a certain degree, although he rarely smiles.
It’s a nice scene. Moments like this make it harder and harder to remember that we don’t really have much time left here.
Viktor is complex and a mystery. Even after spending more time together, I’m not sure I’ve got him figured out.
After the confrontation when he threatened those men who complained about me, maybe I should have packed my bags and got straight out of here.
I find that sort of aggression…frightening.
But he’s never directed that sort of behavior at me or the kids, and I honestly don’t think he ever would.
Is that na?ve of me? I’m not the best judge of character.
My relationship with Geliy is clear evidence of that.
But Viktor…he’s soft almost with the children and me.
He’s taken to sleeping every night in that chair that’s barely big enough to fit his large frame on, just in case the children or I need something.
He shows Sofia his vegetable garden and answers all her questions with an understanding that is beyond kind and patient.
I haven’t seen her light up like this in a long time, and it makes my heart squeeze a little every time I see it.
He buys Leon more toys and games than a nine-month-old should have, just to keep him entertained and engaged for hours.
And that moment in the vegetable garden.
I close my eyes briefly, and my fingers tingle at the feel of his skin beneath mine once more.
What is it about a man’s forearms, muscles strained and taut, veins on display, that is just so darn attractive?
Heat pools in my core, and I give my head a little shake as I clear my throat.
The Viktor I’ve come to know is a different man than the one who commands his men with a barked order or a grumpy glare.
The man I know is fierce and hard with everyone, but he’s not like that with me, the kids, or Queenie.
And that’s another thing about him. His bond with Queenie is not what I would expect from a man like him.
Geliy hated all animals and flat-out refused to let Sofia get a pet.
Even the other men here tend to give Viktor strange looks when they see him walking around the Kremlin with Queenie tucked in his arms. I mean how dangerous and scary can this man really be?
Sure, he does high-level security work, but outside of that, he’s a guy who tends to a vegetable garden in his spare time and seems to love animals.
And would it be so bad to want…something from him?
A flush runs up my cheeks. What a thought to have about some stranger I don’t really know—even if he’s an attractive one.
I can’t deny that. There’s no point now after that small touch fueled a little too much in my head.
But it won’t happen. I know that, and he does too.
Even if a part of me, that’s being shoved deep, deep down, wants it to.
A smile tugs at my lips as I think that because of him, Sofia has found a new hobby.
She struggles to know what to do with children’s toys, but she’s really engaged with the puzzles he got her, and she loves problem-solving and working things out.
I’ll forever be grateful to Viktor for his kindness and care toward her.
And I have to admit that it makes him a little harder to resist.
I fight back a small yawn, my eyes drooping. I seem to be the only one fighting to stay awake. I know I’m still recovering, and I’m weak and tire easily. I don’t want to ruin the fun, but I can’t do it anymore. “It’s late,” I say softly. “I should take the kids and head on up to bed.”
A round of groans meets me, and the reaction shocks me a little. I didn’t think they’d mind us leaving.
“You don’t have to go, do you? The night’s still early,” Matvey says. “And I’m just starting to win. I think Leon might be my good luck charm. Since he’s started trying to put all my chips in his mouth, I keep winning.”
Nikolai snorts into his tumbler. “We’ve been playing for two hours—you’re just starting to win now?”
“I’m doing better than you,” Matvey retorts with a smirk, earning him a huff from Nikolai in response.
“I really should get Leon to sleep before he starts fussing,” I say, yawning softly.
“I can help,” Viktor says.
But I shake my head. “No, stay. Maybe without Sofia helping Nikolai, you can catch up to him.”
Nikolai’s lips quirk up in amusement at my comment. Slowly, I round the table to scoop up Leon in my arms as Sofia slides from Nikolai’s lap and scampers toward the door ahead of me. I offer the men a parting smile as I scoop up Leon’s toy giraffe from the sofa.
Then everything around me goes pitch black.