Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
VIKTOR
It’s late as I trudge up the stairs that evening. It was supposed to be a quick bit of work. Check the shipment and follow up on some new leads on people wanting weapons. But, as fucking usual, it turned into more running around.
I sigh deeply. Most of the Kremlin is quiet, and I can’t help how my steps hurry me toward my room where I know she’ll be.
Checking in on her one last time. Just to say goodnight.
Just to see her. I just want to make sure she’s okay.
That there are no more nightmares bothering her and keeping her up.
That’s what I tell myself anyway.
The truth is I know she’s taking up more space in my head. More and more each day, like she’s settling roots into the recesses of my mind. And tonight? It’s unbearable.
I’m overstimulated from my day, still trying to calm down from it. But it’s the memory of her laugh, the shape of her mouth when she says my name, the soft way she touched my arm in the garden, and the way she smiled at me when I offered her the job…
I swallow down the heat that curls up the back of my throat, knocking at the bedroom door before stepping inside when I hear her voice.
She’s seated on the bed, already in one of those soft little pajama sets she wears.
This one is pale blue, the hem of the shorts grazing her beautiful thighs.
Her perfect pale skin starkly jumps out from the dark silk of my sheets.
Her feet are bare, and her hair falls in loose waves around her face.
And for a second all I do is stand there like a dumbass and stare. She’s absolutely stunning.
The kids are safe and sound, tucked up in bed in the room next door. She looks over at me with a smile, and just like that I’m sucked in more. Sunbeams that hits me harder than they should. Than I should allow.
“Hey,” she says gently.
“I just wanted to check in. Say goodnight,” I reply, my voice low as I linger by the door.
Her expression is unreadable for a second as she studies me. Slowly she pats the spot on the bed beside her. “You’re not going to sit? Talk about your day?”
I hesitate.
I don’t even know what to say to that.
I’ve never told anyone about my day. About the things that sink their claws into me. That’s asking for trouble because no one seems to understand.
I should leave. It’s safer in the chair outside. Safer to keep what little distance I can. But my feet move toward her when I see the way she looks at me. Patient. Gentle. Like she can see all the pieces of me I’ve tried so damn hard to mask.
Walking over, I sit on the edge of the bed. Not too close. But close enough I can smell the scent of her shampoo—my shampoo—as it clings to her damp hair. The mattress dips under my weight.
Her smile never falters as her gaze drops to my hands. I keep them clenched in my lap. “I just want to say thank you for offering me the job.” She speaks softly.
I shrug, keeping my eyes forward. “No worries.”
She smiles again. “I’m a little nervous I might mess it up.”
I huff a laugh through my nose. “You’ll be fine. You can’t be any worse than Nikolai. He’s a fucking disaster in the office.”
That earns me a giggle, and I swear that sound alone could make me come right here and now. It’s a straight shot to my dick. I curl my hand on my thigh tighter.
Silence stretches between us before I breathe out a sigh and stand. “I’ll let you get some sleep.”
Her hand reaches out, her fingers brushing my hand. The touch is fleeting, almost non-existent, and it’s like she’s asking me if it’s okay for her to do this.
I stiffen, waiting again for that repulsion to move through me. But it doesn’t—and I don’t pull away.
“Stay,” she says, barely more than a whisper. “Just for a little while?”
Startled, I look into her eyes. Her expression is open. Hopeful. And the way she’s touching me. So light. Gentle. Nothing overwhelming or alarming. Nothing that makes my chest clench with panic. “Avelina—”
“Please? Just for a bit…stay with me.”
My heart pounds against my ribs, wild and uneven. I nod slowly, and she smiles again. There’s something so tender in the way she looks at me that it unravels a knot deep inside me.
I sit back down on the bed, awkward and with my jerky movements, and her fingers curl around mine.
I stare at our hands. Amazed and confused. What the hell is going on?
She leans toward me, and I freeze, unsure what to do. My heart thunders against my ribs harder—I’m sure she can hear it. I sure as fuck can. I stare at her as she comes closer. The warmth of her breath ghosts over my face.
And she kisses me.
It’s soft.
Careful.
Tentative.
The air in my lungs freezes.
Her lips brush mine like a question.
And I answer it the only way I know how…
By kissing her back.
Heat builds slowly. Her mouth moves against mine with more confidence. Then her hand slides to rest against my chest, and I shudder, overwhelmed but unafraid.
She pulls back just slightly, green gaze wide. Her breath fans against my face. “Are you okay, Viktor?”
I nod. “I just…” How do I even say this? “I’m not a fan of…touching.”
“I’ve noticed,” she says, stilling for a beat.
Her hand begins to pull back and away, but I stop it, shaking my head. “Keep it there,” I growl.
“You’re sure?”
I nod. Because she’s noticed it. And she doesn’t mind.
I want to explain it, but I don’t know how to without it coming across wrong. And it’s not just her touch that undoes me, it’s also the understanding in her eyes.
The unspoken acceptance she’s showing me.
The way she hasn’t ever made me feel strange or different.
“You’re just you…” She whispers like she can read my mind. “And I like that about you.”
I close my eyes, breathing hard. That shouldn’t feel like the most profound thing anyone’s ever said to me. But it does.
I don’t say anything else.
I just tentatively cup her face, pulling her close to me.
For once I don’t think about how her hands are touching me or where they are. I just feel.
Her lips against mine. The way she touches my chest. The heat from her fingers that spreads through me.
And it feels so fucking right.
Her mouth finds mine again, and everything else in my mind disappears.
Her fingers move, slow and careful. No sudden touches. Nothing jarring to send me into a panic. It’s not frenzied like some women get. She’s so attuned to my body that I can relax.
My hands settle at her waist, hesitant, as if unsure she’ll allow it. But when she doesn’t pull away, my grip becomes firmer, and she doesn’t flinch. She presses in closer, her hand sliding around my shoulder.
We shift, and I’m hovering over her. Unhurried, we settle against the bed and explore each other softly. Her lips trail my jaw, and I breathe in her scent. The vanilla and something sweet I can’t name… but if I had to, it’d be sunshine.
My hand moves to her thigh, pulling it up around my hip as I lay her back against the bed, our lips still moving against each other and tongues exploring.
Her legs part, allowing me to nestle between them. She’s still careful, like she can read me like an open book. My hand skims under the hem of her sleep shorts as I inch her back further.
Our kisses turn deeper and deeper, and each one is a little piece of me letting go. Holding her instead of the fear.
My hand slips beneath her sleep shirt, feeling her silky skin before I tug the fabric over her head, exposing her breasts and making my breaths turn ragged.
Her fingers are careful as they untuck my dress shirt and slide beneath it, ghosting over my spine. It should feel like too much. But it doesn’t. Not when she’s the one doing it to me.
My lips trail against her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, as I make my way to her breasts, her nipples hard and waiting. My mouth waters for them. This, whatever this is with her, I want it. So badly.
My mouth finds her breast, and she arches like she’s been waiting for me all night. My lips close around the tight peak, sucking gently, letting my tongue sweep in slow circles around it. Careful and deliberate.
Her breath catches. And her fingers slide so slowly into my hair, not tugging but just resting there as if to keep me where I am.
I wait for a beat, lavishing one breast and then the other, waiting for the urge to pull her hands up and away from me. To tie her up like I have every other woman.
But…it never comes.
A shiver rolls through her. I feel it against my palm as I steady her waist, my grip firm but gentle. She’s warm, like soft velvet under my mouth. And those sounds she makes, those sweet breathy gasps, make it damn near impossible to control myself.
I shift, kissing across to her other breast, lavishing it with the same attention. Her back bows, hips shifting to meet mine. And I press into her, hardness into her softness. She’s so responsive like her body knows it’s mine now. And that does something to me I can’t quite name.
“Viktor,” she breathes, her voice husky and wrecked in the best possible way.
I pause just long enough to lift my eyes and meet her gaze. Her pupils are wide, lips kiss-swollen, breasts rising and falling like she’s run a marathon. And my name sounds like something sacred when she says it like that.
“Please…”
Another soft sound leaves her as I kiss down her ribs, slow and reverent, giving time for her to breathe and for me to memorize the way she feels. I drag my mouth along her stomach. Committing every inch of her skin into my mind.
And when I reach the waistband of her sleep shorts, I slide them down her hips before my hands skim along her thighs.
She’s stunning. Soft and flushed…and all mine.
Pulling off her panties, I slowly bare her to me completely.
She’s already glistening with need. My mouth waters, my hands holding her thighs wide open.