Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
VIKTOR
I’m returning from work the next day when I hear it.
The buzzing starts before I even reach the Kremlin’s gates. My hands tighten on the steering wheel. It’s another agitation I don’t need.
A low hum follows me down the gravel drive like an unwelcome swarm of mosquitoes. My eyes narrow at the sky. What the hell is making that noise?
My jaw tightens when I spot one of Nikolai’s latest drone toys doing a figure-of-eight maneuver above the roof. It dips once, circles, and then zips overhead again.
I grit my teeth. Another noise to try and block out or be overstimulated by. Just fucking great.
Forcing myself to keep moving, I park and slam the SUV door shut, earning a wince from myself. My boots hit the front steps of the main house, and I stalk inside.
I know Avelina is not around because she told me she was taking the kids to the play park, and I assigned a couple of my men to accompany them, so I know she’s safe.
Another buzz sounds. Louder this time as the drone nears the house.
I whirl around toward the window where the drone hovers in a menacing manner. I spin on my booted heel and stomp toward the armory.
The door slams behind me, but I don’t wince too bad, my irritation overriding the overstimulation this time.
The scent of gun oil and metal fills the space. My fingers move without thought, opening the secure locker, bypassing codes with muscle memory alone.
And there it is.
My hand curls around the RPG launcher that rests on the rack like it’s my knight in fucking shining armor. I snatch it from its hold before I can even decide what problem it’s exactly going to solve.
I storm back outside, the launcher on my shoulder, head tilting up. My eyes lock on the silver dot dancing its stupid dance through the sky. I line up my shot.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I pull the trigger.
Boom!
Metal shrapnel rains down like confetti over the manicured lawn. And my heart sings like a fucking canary.
Another buzz. Another drone. But all it takes is another pull of the trigger. Boom! And this one spirals like a dying bird before it disappears into the tree line at the left edge of the property.
I reload.
The distant whirring tells me there’s one more.
It tries to retreat, but I’m faster.
Boom!
I lower the launcher with satisfaction and breathe in deep. Peace at fucking last.
Shouts sound behind me. The front door flings open. And boots pound on the concrete steps behind me. But I don’t turn.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Nikolai’s shout slices through the air.
I turn and see the three of them—Matvey, Grigory, and Nikolai—sprint toward me. All armed. All wide-eyed. Except Nikolai. He just looks furious.
“Did we miss something?” Matvey pants, pushing a hand through his hair as he keeps a tight hold on his weapon.
“Target practice,” I snarl.
Nikolai’s face turns a deeper shade of red. “What the hell, Viktor? Those were reconnaissance-grade drones! Do you even know how much that shit cost me?”
I shrug. “That shit was costing me my sanity.”
He scoffs, stepping closer. “Fuck! Those were supposed to keep us from getting blindsided again, you idiot! Of all the fucking weird...ugh!”
“They were noisy,” I snap. “And they weren’t going to do shit.”
Nikolai’s eyes narrow. And then he lunges for me.
Grigory leaps between us, arm wrapping over Nikolai’s shoulder before he can throw the punch he’s geared up for. Likely for his own good than mine. “Knock it off!” he growls at us.
Nikolai tugs his shirt down, nostrils flaring. “Just keep the hell away from me if you know what’s good for you,” he hisses at me.
I roll my eyes. I don’t regret any of it. He should know fucking better.
Grigory glares at me. “Office, Viktor. Now.” It’s not a suggestion.
I make my way indoors. Once I’ve put the launcher away, I walk casually to the office.
He closes the door behind us, moving around the desk to his chair.
Papers clutter the surface of his desk, completely the opposite of my tidy and immaculate workspace.
And at the foot of his desk lies Albert who’s resting his head on top of his fluffy paws.
For a man so adamant that the dog wasn’t staying, Grigory has sure got attached to Albert pretty fast and has even started referring to him as “my dog.” Albert has also taken to following Grigory around for much of each day.
“Sit,” Grigory orders me.
I roll my eyes but drop into the chair across his desk.
“Wanna tell me what’s actually going on?”
I fold my arms over my chest. “The drones were pissing me off. He knows that stuff gets to me.”
He doesn’t say anything, just levels me with one of those looks. The kind that breaks weaker men. The kind that just makes the three of us who know him roll our eyes.
I stare him down.
Grigory leans forward, elbows on the desk. “You don’t shoot down three drones just because they’re annoying. You’re not usually the ‘shoot first and ask later’ type of guy.”
The way his expression softens a little, I’m reminded of that night we were kids, when I asked him if he thinks in color or in black and white. And it’s another reminder of how different I am from him and the others. Sinking into the chair a little more, I push my hair back and sigh.
“It kinda seems like something’s going on,” he suggests.
I don’t move. “I’m okay.”
He studies me. “Right, you’re fine. So, I’ll just tell Nikolai you blew up half a million dollars’ worth of drones because they were irritating you.”
My jaw ticks.
“Is this about Avelina?”
I don’t answer.
He nods. “Thought so. She’s creating problems?”
“No.” I rush to answer him. “She’s not creating a problem.”
Over the last few days, I’ve agonized about what to do.
Sex with her—it’s explosive. Like nothing I’ve ever felt.
Addictive and eye-opening. But is that all it is?
Does she even want a relationship? I haven’t been able to really ask her what she might want.
Maybe I’m overthinking it. Stressing out for nothing more than a casual fling.
Grigory lifts an eyebrow.
“It’s me...I think.” This is hard to talk about, hard to admit.
It’s like coming to terms with ASD and knowing that the fewer people who know and can use it against me the better.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. This wasn’t supposed to be.
.. I mean, it’s casual. I’m not built for more than that.
” I came to terms with that a long time ago.
Relationships? With someone who doesn’t like physical touch?
Who has so many idiosyncratic behaviors? Impossible.
“But?” he prompts.
But nothing. I thought I was okay with whatever the fuck Avelina and I had. Casual. An itch to scratch. But I’m not.
“You want something more, Viktor?”
My eyes snap to Grigory’s. I don’t want to lie to him. And if—and it’s a pretty fucking big if—she wants it too, she’ll be around more.
“Viktor?”
“Yeah. I think…I want more.”
He sits back. “So, ask her on a date.”
I blink. “A date?” I shake my head from side to side. Dating has never been a thing for me. I know the gist of it, of course. I don’t live under a fucking rock. Matvey, Nikolai, and even Grigory have taken women out. I’ve heard all about it the morning after. But doing it myself? Nuh uh. No way.
“Take her to dinner at one of our restaurants. One of the fancy ones. Or hell, take her to the one in the casino if you prefer.”
“I’ve never taken a girl on a date,” I say in a weak tone. “I just meet girls at our clubs, fuck them, and that’s the end of it.”
He shakes his head. And with a sigh, he reaches for his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Sending a message to the guys.”
I frown. “What kind of message?”
“Mandatory training session tonight after dinner.”
“Why?”
But he doesn’t answer. And my stomach drops like a lead brick. I think I just set myself up for something I’m not ready for at all. I can already hear Matvey and Nikolai’s snickers. But what’s worse…?
I think I want it.
No.
I know I want it.