Chapter Twenty-Five
Lilianna Genovese
The war I waged within myself felt like it would never end.
Matteo’s guards hadn’t questioned me much when I’d left with nothing but the backpack on my back. And when I’d told them that Matteo urgently expected me, they hadn’t said anything as they watched me go.
Matteo’s guards were always alert to my comings and goings, so as soon as the elevator began descending, I grabbed a ballcap from the top of my bag along with a pair of bulky sunglasses and adjusted them to shield my face. I added a cap to Callum’s head and shifted his body in a way that concealed his face.
One of the guards posted at the elevator glanced over us and then continued his watchful gaze on the other passersby. To him, I was just another resident of the building, and I intended to keep it that way.
It was quick work to stride through the front doors as if I were doing nothing more than taking my son on a walk. Step into the street, hail a cab, and drive away.
Now, as I sat at the airport, waiting on a plane back to Italy, I thought about the reasons I’d stayed in the first place. My primary focus had been avenging my family’s murders, and I’d done everything possible to ensure that happened. Matteo wasn’t bringing me along on business endeavors. He wasn’t even telling me when he handled Russian threats.
There was nothing more I could do. Everything was in motion, and Matteo had control of enough forces to end this.
Maybe he’d find their bodies, too. Maybe everything would fall into place.
But for now, there was no reason for me to stay. If anything, we were in more danger staying at Matteo’s penthouse. He wasn’t around, and without his protection, we’d be better off in Italy, where nobody knew our location.
By the time anyone was able to find us, the war would be over.
Callum slept on a folded blanket on the floor, and I leaned back, resting my eyes as I waited for them to call the plane to board.
I’d scheduled the earliest flight, hoping to avoid talking to Matteo again. He’d done a great job at avoiding the conversation for the last couple of days, so I didn’t expect him to come to stop us. As each hour passed and I didn’t see any sign of him, I wondered if he would try to stop us.
Maybe letting us go would be easier for him.
“Boarding is open to flight 203. Active-duty military and families with young children are asked to board first.”
I stood, heaving the backpack over my shoulder before gathering Callum into my arms. He exhaled deeply as he nestled into my shoulder, and I made my way to the line.
I was grateful that it was moving quickly. It only took a matter of minutes before I stood two people from the TSA agent. A hand fell on the crook of my arm, and I stiffened, looking over my shoulder.
I half expected to see Vlad standing there, ready to kill me.
Instead, a pair of nearly black eyes pierced into mine, shoulder-length curly hair hanging down to his shoulders in an untamed style that I rarely saw. He always wore his hair in a tight bun when out of the house.
“Get out of the fucking line,” he snarled down to me.
I steeled myself. “No.”
“You’re getting out of line and coming home with me right now, Lilianna.”
Barely tempered frustration ran through his tone, but I ignored it.
“You don’t need to pretend to care, Matteo. I lied and deceived, and I’m not going to force you to stay around me when you clearly have no interest in my doing so. I understand why you hate me, I do, and I don’t want to make this more difficult than it has to be.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes so fast that I assumed I imagined it.
“You’re stepping out of line right now, or I will carry you out of line.”
“You wouldn’t...”
But his expression told me he would dare. Matteo wouldn’t hesitate to reach forward and lug me over a shoulder, all consequences be damned. He wasn’t used to being told no, and this was striking a nerve. But as I glanced around and found several people staring at us, I decided not to cause more of a scene than we already had.
He deserved a conversation, at least.
I stepped out of line and carried Callum to the side of the line with me. We strode away from the gates and toward a small offshoot hallway that led to a set of restrooms.
“What are you thinking?” he finally bellowed.
It surprised me when Callum didn’t so much as flinch.
“I’m thinking that you’ve refused to talk to me for days. You’ve been gallivanting around and doing the job that we were meant to do together. I’m not needed nor wanted here, Matteo. You made that very clear. I’m going to take my son home where his family makes it clear every day that he’s wanted. He’ll be safe while you take care of this shit with the Russians. If you decide you want to include me in your plans, I’ll be happy to come back. But for now, I’m not staying where I’m not wanted.”
“I thought we were taking care of it. Together.”
“So did I,” I admitted. “Until you started stonewalling all our conversations and doing it without me. If I’m not going to be useful, and if you seem like you’re not interested in providing the same protection as before—”
“I’ve had the same guards protecting the penthouse for weeks. There was never a moment I didn’t ensure you and Callum had proper protection.”
“Having guards didn’t stop them the first time.”
“I fucking love you, Lilianna!” he shouted, his voice echoing through the hallway as he took a small step forward. Callum stirred in my arms, and I rocked him lightly back to sleep. Matteo’s voice dropped as he noticed the sleeping boy for what seemed like the first time. “Come home, and we can talk more there.”
I recognized his words and gaped at him. He’d told me that he hated me for what I’d done to him. Love was an entirely different realm, and I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t think he could say anything to convince me to turn back around. But hearing those words…that changed things.
I couldn’t leave that stone unturned.
“Fine,” I conceded.
***
Callum had been put in his bed the moment we returned home. He stirred minimally and asked for his favorite stuffed animal, but he quickly fell asleep.
I considered lying beside him, not fully prepared for the conversation I was about to have. Instead, I closed the door and moved down the hallway to Matteo’s bedroom, knocking twice before entering.
He sat at the end of his bed in only a pair of joggers. The muscular expanse of his chest revealed itself, and I trailed my gaze over it. Then, I flicked my eyes to the bowed shoulders and the way he fixed his gaze entirely on the ground between us. His shoulders rose and fell with each breath as his hair danced across them. It surrounded his face like a cocoon, and I didn’t think I’d ever seen him appear so vulnerable.
We stood in silence long enough that his deep voice made me flinch slightly.
“I have a son, and I didn’t know it for over two years,” he said. His gaze didn’t so much as flick up to mine, but his eyes danced around the rug in thought. “That betrayal destroyed me in a way you can’t understand, and I want to hate you for it. I want to turn my back on you the way you turned your back on me.”
“I—”
“I’m not done.” I pressed my lips together tightly. “I know why you did it, and I think you made the best call for him. There’s always a threat in this business, but with the Russians on the rise, it wasn’t safe. I’m sure Silas told you all about the rising tensions, and it only solidified your decision. I will always appreciate your dedication to keeping my boy safe.”
My boy.
The words melted a part of the cold wall around my heart. I shouldn’t have been worried about Matteo accepting him. That shouldn’t have even been a question in my mind.
“Even now,” he continued, “you tried taking him away again because you didn’t think he was safe. You were willing to sacrifice your revenge to keep him safe, and that’s admirable.”
“I wasn’t sacrificing anything,” I cut him off. “I knew you’d take care of it, especially now that you have enough people backing you.”
“Regardless of the semantics, you put him first, and that’s the way it should be.” He exhaled and met my eyes for the first time. “But I’m selfish, Lilianna. I’ve never been a father, and I need to learn how to make that kind of sacrifice. The line between love and hate is thinner than you’d think. For anyone else, I would have been unfazed and doled out the appropriate consequences. It only bothered me so much because I love you, Lilianna. A man in my position shouldn’t love anyone. It’s a weakness. But for you, I’d do anything. For you, I’d tear apart the fucking world.”
His steely eyes didn’t flicker away from mine as he spoke. Every word came across as emotionless, as if he’d been thinking about saying them for hours. As if the weight they carried wasn’t something he’d allow himself to feel right now.
What did I say after a declaration like that?
I knew how I felt, and the realization sent chills through me.
His anger shouldn’t have affected me so irrationally. I should have never considered leaving. By all logic and reason, I should have held out and stayed until I reached my goal, but I’d convinced myself of untrue things. I’d rationalized emotions that should have been felt. I should have known that Matteo would never withhold protection from me and Callum. That should have never been a question, but the hurt that had run through me had been so potent. So blinding.
Leaving shouldn’t have been an option.
I wasn’t an emotional, blubbering idiot, and I should have never acted like one.
The only reason I had was because I felt the same way as he had. He’d shut me out because he loved me, and I had tried to do the same.
“You’re not going to say anything?” he asked, restraint cooling his tone.
“You forgive me?”
“For now,” he replied. “But if you ever leave me again because you’re pissed off or hurt—”
“I won’t,” I assured him. “I only left because I love you, Matteo. I love you, and I don’t know if I want to love you. I don’t know what I’ll do if this shit doesn’t work out in our favor.” I pulled my lip between my teeth in thought. “And I won’t let you treat Callum poorly because of a decision I made. It doesn’t matter how I feel about you. He comes first.”
Matteo was up and across the room in less than a second, lifting me into his arms effortlessly. I wrapped both arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. The contact with his bare skin sent sparks of need through me and straight into my core as I wound my hands in his thick hair.
“If you thought for even a second that I’d treat Callum poorly, you would have never come back.”
He was right.
“We’re going to do this together, right?” I asked breathlessly as he backed me toward the bed. “No more stonewalling? We’re in this until the end.”
His hands gripped the bottom of both my thighs, his expression nearly indecipherable as he pressed his lips into mine hard. Everything about the kiss was electric. A brutal, unrestrained claiming in all the right ways. I took in every single ounce of his warm lips over mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth.
Jolts of fire-hot need spasmed in my core as I tightened my legs around him. The shifting of my weight revealed his hardened length between my thighs, and I moaned lightly.
“My favorite fucking sound,” he groaned, tossing my body on the bed and easing his way on top of it. We couldn’t fit a sheet of paper between us, and I parted my lips as his hair cascaded around his face. “Don’t do this to me again, Lilianna.”
“I won’t,” I swore. “It’s you and me now.”
His entire body collapsed atop mine, one hand moving between my thighs and stroking me there. I lifted my hips into his hand as he left scorching kisses down the column of my throat, nipping my skin lightly between his teeth.
“God!” I cried out.
I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes as the palm of his hand rubbed me through my pants. The intense satisfaction I felt at the touch had me shuddering. My entire body shook from his mere touch.
I felt like I flew into a state of pure ecstasy, unable to wrap my head around any of the things happening around me. I felt myself hyper focusing on each place he touched me and caressed me. I hardly noticed as he removed my pants and shirt, as I could only comprehend the press of his hand and the grazing of his knuckles over my skin. When one of his fingers brushed against the most sensitive spot between my legs, I jerked into him with a long cry.
I needed to level the playing field.
I reached forward and grabbed him through his shorts, running a finger along the painfully long length of him.
“Fuck,” he hissed, his entire body stiffening over mine.
The sound sent a shot of adrenalin through me, and I boldly sat up and pulled down his shorts, returning my grip to his bare cock. The smooth skin there sent me reeling.
I gasped, mouth-watering, as I glanced between his face and his length. “I want you inside of me, Matteo,” I told him, pumping my fist down him once. “I need it.”
“There’s something else I want to do first.”
He moved me back on the bed, bringing his lips back down to my skin again. I closed my eyes as he moved his lips down to the valley between my breasts, and I arched my back from the bed.
He deftly moved his body behind where I lay across the bed, his knees brushing either side of my head. He looked down his broad chest as I lay before him. From this angle, he looked like a God. My eyes darted between the cock that hovered mere inches from my face and his onyx eyes that promised more pleasure than I could imagine.
He bent, his cock brushing against my face as his mouth lowered to my—
Oh, God. I moaned as his tongue darted across my slick folds, piercing into me. I nearly shattered at the single touch, but I forced myself to focus as I took him into my mouth. He stiffened, moving his lips more quickly.
He moved his tongue more quickly.
I sucked, moving a hand to grasp his shaft. I flicked my tongue over his head with each bob, and I moaned my longing against his skin. All sense of slow control fled as he lapped me into his mouth, inserting a finger with deft determination. I could hardly stop the cries that escaped me as my release grew to an unfathomable level.
Stars exploded across my vision, and the world around me felt like it rocked as I came hard. My cries could hardly be heard as he thrust into my throat more quickly.
Everything felt unsteady as I shattered, sensitivity overtaking the release.
I sucked hard, and Matteo broke too. He pulled his mouth away from me, slipped his finger out, and roared his release. I sucked every bit of him into me, swallowing easily and continuing. He shook as he finally pulled himself from me.
It took me only a few seconds to realize what had happened.
It wasn’t just my release that had rocked me. The entire building had shifted.
A distant explosion sounded, and the building rocked again. Just slightly. The chandelier over the bed rattled, and I held my breath as Matteo flung himself off me.
We both knew what this meant. It was no coincidence that the building was being attacked. Not with the war between us and the Russians.
“Their endgame,” I whispered, fisting my hands on the sheets.
“Get dressed,” Matteo demanded as he swept across the room and opened a drawer. He tossed a bulletproof vest in my direction, and I dazedly caught it. “It’s time.”