4. Marisol
4
MARISOL
After Dino leaves, it's blissfully quiet.
Well, I guess that it’s certainly quiet. The blissful part is up for debate. Because while I'm happy that he's gone, my heart feels like it's aching with all of the thoughts swirling around.
Seeing Dino again is shocking in ways I hadn't anticipated. I feel like a snow globe. I had years to settle my emotions around him, years to let them drift down and sit at my feet where I would never have to see them again. I could ignore all of those feelings there, where I didn't have to examine them in the light of day.
But now?
My whole world has been shaken up, and all I can do is examine the fallout.
Dios Mio, he's so handsome.
All of the scars make me itch to follow them with my fingers. I want to map out the new terrain on his skin, ask him how each one came to be. They show me a brutality that I hadn't considered in him before, which makes the memory of our night together, and the tenderness that he showed me, even more fascinating.
A chill skates over my skin. Is Dino even capable of such thoughtful, emotional connection again?
Why do I want to find out so badly?
I can't think like this.
I take a deep, shuddering breath as despair grips my stomach. What Dino is or is not going to do is not any of my concern. My kids are safe. They’re here, and they’re out of the clutches of my dad. Without me here as the prize, he might think twice about coming to raid the somewhat well-fortified Rossi home.
He’s never cared about my kids, something that irks me to no end, but is absolutely par for the course with him. I’m well aware of the fact that out of the dozens of bastards he’s sired over the world, he seems to be somewhat obsessed with me.
Somehow, however, that obsession does not extend to my children.
Their safety is my priority. And right now? They’re safe, which takes that off the list of problems.
Much as I would like to spend time just thinking about Dino, I have to face the problems in front of me.
When you're Benicio Souza's daughter, you learn very quickly that you can't spend too much time perseverating on what might be or what could be.
For one, things change quickly. It might not even matter to spend all your time making plans for one thing, when something else entirely could pop up .
Which, of course, leads me to my next point, which is that being Benicio Souza's daughter means learning how to deal with complete and utter chaos.
I need to figure out how to get back to him. Before he hurts my mom, and before he comes after the Rossi clan.
Gently, I unhook myself from the IV, taking care to extract it from my vein. I’ve had training in how to do this, again, as a side effect of the father who brought me into this stupid life.
I’m in what looks like a regular guest room, except that it has a high-end hospital bed in it. The bed, and surrounding medical equipment, are clearly top of the line.
I shake my head. “Mafia families are just built differently,” I mutter.
There is, however, an attached bathroom and shower. While I have no doubts whatsoever that someone in the house has a key that will open this room, I lock both the bedroom and bathroom doors. I shower, fully prepared to put on my old clothes, when I notice a little free-standing drawer set in the bathroom. I open it and find it fully stocked with light, airy clothes, most of them somewhat close to my size.
I have a feeling I have Gia Rossi to thank for this one.
Showered, freshly clothed, and feeling better than I have in days, I creep out of the room. The house is pretty quiet; you can hear the distant murmur of voices, but nothing specific.
I want to find the kids, tell them goodbye, and then I can go.
I pad upstairs. I have no memories of the house whatsoever, being that I was passed out when I was last taken this way, and it’s a huge house .
Part of me just feels… bad. Like, looking around, these are glimpses of what I could be offering my children. A large house, a stable family, lots of cousins to grow up around…
Instead, I have given them a relatively stable childhood in Florida. I won’t say it was terrible for them, because it wasn’t.
But that little bit of guilt still punches into me at what I could be doing for them instead.
Eventually, I do hear the sound of voices. It sounds like they’re coming from the hallway to my left, so I softly follow. Eventually, the hall opens up into an open space, a combined kitchen and living room, that’s brightly lit. Windows, from ceiling to floor, let in an amount of light that’s impressive given that we’re in upstate New York, and the furniture is an easy, light color that’s homey despite being expensive looking.
This is where the voices are coming from.
And, I recognize two of them.
I step into the room, watching for just a minute.
There are three babies, playing together on a tasteful looking blanket in front of a couch. Two of them look to be about a year old, and they’re twins, a boy and a girl. A third, slightly younger baby babbles at them, and they all seem to be managing an interaction, common among familiar babies.
Then, there are three children. Three girls.
Two of whom are mine.
“Luna,” Maia says, always the bossy one. She puts her hands on her hips, looking at a dark-haired little girl. “It’s your turn to be the dragon.”
“I was the dragon last time,” Luna whines .
“I can be the dragon,” Angie, my other girl, says, trying to mitigate the attitude of her twin.
I smile. The girls continue to argue, but it looks like they’re figuring it out. Eventually, they settle, and Maia surprisingly zooms around, arms outstretched, roaring while she pretends to be the dragon.
This is exactly what I was envisioning when I thought of my girls having cousins. They have friends, of course, but Mama and I are very cautious when it comes to their playmates. We often wished that they would have cousins to play with, because the power of your primas?
It’s better than just a friend, that’s for sure.
“Looks like you’re feeling better,” I hear Gia say softly.
I turn to the right, where she and Caterina are sitting at the kitchen table. They can easily see all the kids, and the babies as well, but they’re definitely giving them some space to play.
I really wish I’d had that as a younger mom.
“Come sit with us,” Caterina says, waving to a chair. “Do you drink? I could get some wine.”
“One glass, please,” I say with a little smile. Both Caterina and Gia have been nothing but wonderful to me, but their treatment of my children, who are so engrossed in their play they haven’t noticed me yet, is what makes me trust them instantly.
Hearing my voice, my girls instantly stop. “Mamá!” Angie says with a shriek.
Seconds later, both girls are in my arms, and I hug them close. “Oh, pequeninas,” I smile. I breathe them in, holding on as they hold me tight. “How are you? ”
“Zia Gia and Zia Caterina said you were sleeping because running away from the scary people made you sick,” Angie pulls back, looking at me with an accusing eye. “Are you better now?”
“I’m much better, thanks to your Zias. They did a lot to help me.”
“Whose clothes are you wearing?” Maia says with a frown.
“I got her some extras, since everyone deserves to wake up looking fabulous,” Gia laughs.
Maia, who is far more fierce than her sister, seems to accept this. “, do we have to leave?”
My heart sinks a little. I’m not sure how to tell her that she’s going to stay here without me.
I don’t want to tell them yet.
Seeming to sense my hesitation, Caterina steps in. “Girls,” she says, her voice full of kindness, “why don’t you grab the babies and bring them over here? We probably need to feed them.”
Maia’s eyes get big. “Like, hold them?”
“I can do it!” Angie hops up, and together with Luna, they carefully lift each baby before bringing them over.
Caterina nods at me, holding one of the two twins out. “Can you hold him?”
“Yes,” I say, accepting the wiggling baby boy.
Task accomplished, Maia and Angie look lost again. “Come on,” Luna announces. “Let’s go play dress up. Dad just bought me a new castle!”
“A castle?” and with that, the girls are gone .
Caterina sighs. “I had no idea he bought them that. Did you?” she looks at Gia.
Gia shrugs. “I know better than to stop Elio when he wants to buy Luna something.”
The baby in my arms makes a garbled noise, and I look down. “Okay,” I say, looking back up. “Now it’s time to tell me whose baby I’m holding.”
Both Gia and Caterina laugh. “These are my two,” Caterina says, indicating the twins, “and that one belongs to Gia.”
I smile at her. “Ah, I see. The baby you brought with us on your wild escape.”
Caterina gives her a questioning look, and Gia sighs. “Marisol took one look at me and could tell I was pregnant when her dad kidnapped me.”
“That’s pretty good,” Caterina grins.
I shrug. “Well. I guess I was also pregnant with De Luca babies at some point. Maybe I just sensed it.”
Catarina laughs. “That makes three of us. Luna’s mine too,” she says by way of explanation.
“Someone needs to study how many twins we have in this family,” Gia says, her eyes rolling. “It seems like slightly more than normal.”
“Is anything normal about being with a De Luca or a Rossi?”
Caterina’s comment makes Gia smile. “Fair point.”
I nod. “Well. Sounds like we all need to stick together, then,” I smile .
Caterina reaches a hand out and takes mine. “I grew up with three brothers. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to have another sister-in-law.”
“Oh, I can’t… um…” I pause.
Gia and Caterina look at me expectantly.
I sigh. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“How so?” Caterina tilts her head to the side.
Heat floods my cheeks. “Um… Well… Dino… Dino and I…”
“We know they’re your kids. The two of you. You don’t have to hide that,” Gia says softly.
I take a breath. Of course. “Well, I guess I should share the story.” Or at least some of it.
It’s a little embarrassing. That’s the only reason that I don’t like to share it.
“My dad… well. You should know that my dad has a lot of connections. And a lot of children. For some reason he’s very obsessed with me, and one of my half-brothers. But, back then, he was trying to get the favor of… someone he needed to have the favor of in order to do this like, business deal. He wanted to use me as part of that. I was supposed to go to Spring Break with this girl who had just gone through a breakup, as a favor to her father, and I was supposed to show her a good time.”
“Why you?”
I snorted. “I grew up in Florida with my mom. My dad would actually come visit and be kind of cool. Like, he would bring presents and stuff and he and my mom would kind of get along until she would kick him out again, or he would disappear. So I knew Florida, and he thought I could show this other girl around.”
“Why your mom?” Gia asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. He’s killed most of his other lovers. I think he was a tiny bit afraid of my mom. She shot him with a shotgun, once.”
“Oh my god, I love her,” Caterina gushes.
The ghost of a smile crosses my lips. “Yeah. She’s pretty great. Anyway, this friend immediately ditched me so I just kind of hung out and I found Dino on the beach.”
“What do you mean, you found him?” Gia asks.
“Exactly what it sounds like. I literally found him. He was piss drunk and basically half alive.”
They exchange a look. “Sounds like a teenage Dino, to be honest,” Caterina sighs.
I blink at her. “What?”
“Dino… he’s always had kind of a chip on his shoulder. For a long time I thought it was like a second son thing, but lately…” her voice trails off.
It doesn’t look like she wants to say anything else, so I let it go.
“Dino and I met. I liked him. And I just… I felt so dumb because all these other girls were like, living their Spring Break dreams, and I was just… there,” I mutter.
Both Caterina and Gia are quiet. “So we had sex,” I add softly.
“He didn’t…”
“No,” I cut Gia off. “It was my idea. I wanted to feel… sexy. Cute. Powerful. I’d never had sex with anyone before and I was li ke eighteen and I just… I thought it was a time in my cycle that was safe,” I shrug.
Caterina sighs. “I know how that goes.”
“So. Anyway, I walked away and never talked to him again. Didn’t have his number, didn’t have anything. Found out I was pregnant, my mom and I raised the babies, and now…”
“Wait. Why were you in Brasilia?” Gia asks.
I shut my eyes. This is the part I hadn’t really wanted to talk about. “Well. I have to go back.”
“No!” both women practically shout, startling the babies.
I nod. “Yeah. I do. My dad… he’s not going to stop coming for me. He needs me. He’s broke and he’s offering me up to be married.”
“And what? People have to pay?” Gia snarls.
I shrug. “Yeah? I guess.”
“Marisol, you don’t have to do that,” Caterina says softly. “What about the girls?”
Tears tug at my eyes. “You’ll help them get to know Dino, right?”
“Marisol…”
There’s a loud bang from the front door. “Gia!” we hear Elio yell.
Gia sighs and hands me her son. “Coming!” she yells.
I turn back to Caterina. “Promise me you’ll take care of them. Promise you’ll help Dino get adjusted to being a dad. ”
“You don’t have to go back,” she whispers. “We can help you. Keep you safe.”
“You won’t,” I say softly. “Maybe someday after, maybe my future husband will be less… aggressive than my father. I will have to wait to see, but until then, I can’t. It’s safer for the girls to be here, with their… with their father,” I end on a whisper.
God, this hurts so much.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to write, try to send them money for their care. I’ll do my best but I just don’t know how to do this otherwise.”
“Marisol, we can protect you.”
I shake my head. “No. You have babies, Caterina. The Rossi’s are great, you’re a big family, but you’re not on the same level as my dad. Benicio Souza is a monster,” my voice is shaking now with conviction. “He’s a vile, awful man. He won’t stop until he has what he wants, and what he wants is me.”
“Marisol…”
I stand, putting the baby I’ve been holding into a high chair. “Promise me you’ll help him. When I get my mom back, when she goes back to Florida, you can send the twins there. He has no interest in the girls, for whatever reason. It’s always only me,” I say bitterly.
Caterina’s eyes are wide. “How will we know?”
“My mom will contact you. She’s the woman who shot Benicio Souza in the chest with a shotgun. She’ll figure it out,” I give her a small smile.
Caterina studies me for another minute before finally, she nods. “Okay,” she murmurs. “But if you ever need help, if you need anything, we’re here. I won’t let one of my sisters suffer.”
“I’m not…”
She waves her hand, interrupting me. “You are, Marisol. You’re one of us now. I understand that you know what you’re doing, and that you want to keep us safe. I appreciate that,” she says, looking at the babies snoozing in her arms and in the high chair. “But you have to know that we protect our own. You’re one of us now. Let us help,” she murmurs.
I wish I could.
“I’m going to tell the girls. The plan is that they’ll be here with their dad until their avó can come get them,” I add, making sure she knows the Portuguese word for grandmother.
The girls will know it, so it’s good to be consistent.
Caterina nods. Tears gather in the corners of her eyes, but I shake my head. “Trust me,” I whisper. “It’s better this way.”
However, I don’t know who needs to hear that more. Caterina…
Or me.