21. Marisol
21
MARISOL
I haven’t sent you any notes, Marisol.
The words still send a chill down my spine. As I walk down the path back toward the main house, I feel cold, colder than I should, even with the volume of water pouring down from the sky.
The notes were kind of cute when I thought that they were from Dino.
Now though?
I feel… dirty. Like someone’s been keeping tabs on me in a way that I not only wouldn’t want them to, but didn’t ask for.
Like someone is watching me, and I don’t know who.
I’m going to get rid of all of them when I get back to my room. I never want to see them again, and if any more notes appear, I’m not even going to open them.
I’m going to put them straight into the toilet and flush them away, so that no one ever sees them.
Including me.
I’m halfway back to the house, but still in the garden, when I hear my name. “Marisol?”
It’s Andrei, his heavily accented voice ringing through even the rain.
“I’m here,” I say, looking at him through the water that’s still sluicing down from the heavens.
Catching sight of me, Andrei curses. He whips off his leather jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders. He swears in Italian and puts his hands on my shoulders, hustling me toward the house.
“The hell are you thinking? You could catch your death out here.”
I laugh, somewhat bitterly. “You’re turning into a grandmother, Andrei. I’m fine. I’m Brazilian, a little rain never hurt me.”
“This isn’t a little rain, Marisol. This is some kind of plague sent down from above,” he spits.
I don’t acknowledge that.
I let Andrei hustle me inside. His jacket is warm and I do appreciate it, but it feels chilly in comparison to when I was in Dino’s arms.
He tugs me down the hallway, taking me to my room. I don’t protest.
“Clean yourself up. Shower and then I’m calling the doctor,” Andrei hisses.
The doctor is one of my least preferred members of my father’s staff. He’s a blustery old man who likes to touch my legs way too much. “I’m fine, Andrei. I’m definitely going to take a hot bath but then I’m going to bed.”
“No. You might be sick. I won’t let you…”
That rubs me exactly the wrong way.
I turn, glaring at him. “You don’t control my body, Andrei. If I say I’m feeling fine, there’s no one in the world who knows how I’m feeling better than I do. If I say I’m feeling sick, I will ask for the doctor, but you don’t get to act like you know better than I do what is happening in my own body,” I snap.
Andrei’s face turns harsh. For a minute, my heart rate skyrockets, and the hair on my neck stands up.
This is the killer that everyone’s afraid of. This is the man that my father hired to keep everyone at bay.
This is Andrei in his truest form.
And he’s staring at me.
I step back, my eyes wide. “Andrei. I’m fine,” I reassert gently.
I hate myself for taking some of the heat out of my words, but I’ve lived around dangerous men for long enough to recognize when I need to play into their egos.
Right now?
I need to pretend.
Andrei shakes himself, and the killer gaze fades. He steps forward, reaching for me.
I flinch.
Emotions flicker across his gaze before his expression goes carefully blank again. “If you feel even a tiny bit unwell, you will call the doctor,” he mutters .
I hate that it’s yet another command, but I swallow my pride and nod. “I will.”
He studies me for a minute longer. I remember that I’m wearing his coat and slide it off of my arms, holding it out for him.
He takes it, but his eyes linger on me.
“There’s dirt on your dress,” he says, his eyes sticking around my knees.
Oh.
Oh dear.
I must have gotten it dirty when I was kneeling in front of Dino, taking him in…
Do not blush.
“I fell,” I say cooly, trying to lie as evenly as possible. I am a practiced liar, especially when it comes to the men I need to keep at a distance.
Andrei’s eyebrows raise. “You fell?”
“The rain made some of the rocks slippery,” I explain. “I slipped and fell.”
“On your knees?”
“And my hands, as is pretty normal with a fall,” I say softly. I see Andrei’s eyes slide to my hands, and I resist the urge to clench my fists so he can’t examine my palms for cuts.
“Next time, take me with you. You would not have fallen if I was there to protect you,” he finally says.
But the words aren’t even remotely warm. Andrei isn’t exactly a warm and fluffy guy, but I’ve come to recognize what counts as affection from him.
And what doesn’t.
My spine tingling with unease, I nod. “I know. It was just clumsy of me, especially with all the rain. But I’m fine. I’m going to go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning,” I say softly.
I turn to leave. I can feel Andrei’s eyes on me as I open the door to my room, but I don’t turn back to look at him.
Once inside, the door safely locked behind me, I step into the bathroom. I turn on the tap for the bath, and that’s when I finally let myself sink, sliding onto the tile floor.
I put my head in my hands.
You’re a fool, Marisol.
I underestimated Andrei. I believed him when he said he wouldn’t hurt me. The man that I just saw in the hallway? He’s the type of man who would hurt me.
The type of man who absolutely would want to hurt me, if he didn’t get his way.
I can’t keep him at arms length for too much longer. I need to either bring him in closer, or…
There is no other plan.
I can’t show Dino any type of favoritism. I can’t do anything to show my hand, because if I do, my father will kill Dino.
And Andrei will be more than happy to do it.
I also need to make sure that there’s enough distance between Dino and I. After tonight, Andrei is not going to just let me swim by myself. He thinks something is up. After seeing the marks on my knees, it’s little wonder that he does.
It looks like I was kneeling on the cold, hard ground.
Which I was.
Andrei isn’t safe. I let myself trust that he did have my best interests at heart, but it’s clear to me now that I shouldn’t have done that.
He is not a sheep in wolf’s clothing. He’s a wolf. Through and through.
And a predator will always try to go for the kill.
The roar of the bathwater fills my ears as shame pulses through me. How could I be so stupid?
How have I put myself into this place again?
There’s no denying that I like Dino. I like being around him. There’s some kind of animal attraction between us that I can’t keep myself from participating in.
I can’t stay away from him, honestly.
But I have to.
Andrei suspects something. He’s going to look at Dino first.
I can’t be the reason Dino dies.
You have to stop seeing him.
The pain of that realization lances through me, a little crack in a heart that I didn’t think could break anymore. With the bath running, I tuck my head onto my knees, pulling them close.
I start to cry .
I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to be forced to choose between the options that are least favorable to me.
I want to live my own life.
For me.
Sobs rock me, and I clutch myself, holding my knees closer.
I want Dino. I know that I do. But I don’t think that Dino is the path to the life I want, either. He said that he wants us to get to know each other, so that I would choose him.
But he said it like it was inevitable.
I misjudged Andrei.
Maybe I’ve misjudged Dino too.
I wake the next morning feeling drained. My heart aches and I want to talk to my kids, and I want to talk to my mom.
And the rain is still coming down.
The compound is somewhat up on a hill, but there is still even more hillside above it, covered in jungle. I’m sure that the jungle can absorb a lot of water, so I shouldn’t be too concerned but…
It feels like a lot of rain.
More than that, I feel doomed. Like there’s something hanging over me, and a pervasive feeling of something bad happening.
And happening soon .
It’s just the challenge , I tell myself as I glide out of my room, wearing more practical jeans and sneakers today. I know that my father is going to have a meltdown that I’m not wearing a dress, but I want to be comfortable and warm today.
Sneakers it is.
My father’s challenge, to interrogate the traitors in his ranks, is brutal. It’s just like him. Last night I know that Volkov had his turn with them, and this coming day it will be someone else.
I don’t want to see what happens to them. I don’t want to know.
And I don’t want to see what happens when Dino gets to them.
If I do…
It would ruin the image that I have of him in my mind even more.
I don’t want Dino to be as brutal as my father. I don’t want him to be as cold and reptilian as Andrei can be.
I want him to be different.
He isn’t, Marisol. Stop being a silly little girl and grow up.
“Marisol,” Andrei says, greeting me with a chilly tone.
I steel myself.
Andrei is a crucial piece in my happiness right now. I need to keep him happy in order to keep him away from Dino.
So I smile at him, pretending to soften. “Good morning, Andrei,” I say, intentionally lowering my voice. “I slept so well,” I purr.
His eyes flash, and I see lust in their dark depths .
Good.
He’s also incredibly easy to set off if just the mere mention of me sleeping has this reaction. Andrei must be tense right now, a caged tiger that’s been kept here for too long.
That could work in my favor…
Or be incredibly dangerous.
I smile at him again, hoping to keep the flirtation going. “Are you here to walk me to breakfast?”
“As I am every day,” he says softly.
I stare at him. “Well, are you going to offer me your arm?”
“Do you want it?”
It’s a question.
Underneath his tone, I can feel his trepidation. My chest aches because even in that question— even seeing him, the stone-cold assassin, standing in front of me— I can sense that it’s not just the adult Andrei asking.
It’s a little boy, desperate to be accepted.
I could answer him. I have the words to.
But it’s going to be a lie.
And I do not like to lie… at least not so directly.
“I would like to be taken to breakfast,” I respond instead.
Andrei studies me for a little longer, then offers me his arm. I tuck my hand into the crook of his elbow, moving forward as I do.
“I wonder what fresh hell my father has for them today,” I chirp softly .
Andrei whistles. “A wet one, Marisol.”
I laugh, but it sounds too bright.
Everything about this feels wrong, and my dread increases.
I don’t know what to do. But I have to get out of here alive.
And I have no clue how to do that.