Chapter 17
Bianca
It’s a miracle I still have a happy child with me when we land at JFK after a fourteen-hour flight. Hana and Hiro arranged everything, from helping me pack my things to organizing transport and, more importantly, chartering a private plane for us to fly back on. Enzo was thus able to run around the interior of the plane as much as he wanted, letting off steam when he wasn’t sleeping, and the captain even took him into the cockpit on a grand tour.
As such, the kid can’t stop talking about the plane, telling us all he’ll fly them when he’s big. I humor him, knowing full well that’s a pipe dream—Enzo is the first-born son of a Mafia Don, and as such, he’s the next generation of Pellegrini men who’ll ascend into that title. But who knows, maybe he will get to be a pilot for a while, until his father retires and hands over the family firm to him.
Thoughts of his father make my stomach flip more than the mild turbulence we encountered throughout the flight did. I truly have no idea what’s waiting for me in New York. While I know Leo won’t shut us out, I also don’t know how he’ll react to me reappearing. He took it really hard when I disappeared—Hana kept me apprised as to how much he hounded Mattia to help him look for me, how angry he was that my family was proceeding with my memorial. And now to think he killed Ardian Abrashi because he thinks the man murdered me…
A lick of fear slithers up my spine as we’re told we can disembark. Customs have already handled our papers, no issue flagged as it’s Bérénice Picard returning to the United States after she left four years ago. According to the identity that was crafted for me, I’m supposed to have an American mother, hence no need for visas to enter the territory.
I’m uncertain as I get up, picking up my son and placing him on my hip as we exit the plane. What’s awaiting me here? All I know is I couldn’t stay in Tokyo anymore. That would be me hiding my head in the sand, not facing my life, and this is something which might endanger my son later. This, I can’t let happen. Everything I’ve done so far, it’s been for Enzo. Everything I’m doing now is also for him.
A car is waiting for us on the runway. It’s the same type of black sedan with tinted windows that took me to the airport when I left. Hiro’s the one who hired it before, as he was in on the plan with Hana all along, I came to find. I’m assuming this is his doing again. Indeed, as we enter, I hear Hana conferring with the driver who is reassuring her our safety is paramount and our identities are secure with him.
I gulp down some of my apprehension as I strap my son in the car seat, and we start on the road to Lenox Hill. It takes us way over an hour in the early evening traffic, and I’m glad when we finally reach the house. Enzo’s still babbling away, excited about his first trip—we’ve never left Tokyo before. In front of my brother’s house, I stop and stare at the dwelling, everything that’s happened here rushing back to the fore to assail me.
I remember the night I came to Mattia for help after discovering all I did about Ardian. I remember finding out I was pregnant inside this place, realizing I needed to leave everything I’d ever loved behind. No, not everything—Enzo was already with me that day. I held on to him all this time, and he’s my only constant now.
“Come,” Hana says gently as she opens the front door.
Enzo’s a little ball of energy who pings inside the house before we even have a chance to step in. He stops in wonder in front of the floor-to-ceiling panes that open onto the side deck.
“ Maman ,” he yells, turning to me. “Pool!”
I smile. “Yes, sweetie, there’s a pool. We’ll go in tomorrow, when it’s daytime again.”
I’m a little afraid he’ll start crying at being denied as his little face scrunches, but then he seems to resign himself. He’s never been a crybaby, thank goodness.
“Koji, you hungry?” Hana asks him in Japanese. “How about pizza?”
He starts jumping around, clutching his plush toy that never leaves him. “Margie!”
“Margherita?” Hana asks, knowing it’s his favorite. “Okay, let’s do that. B, pepperoni for you?”
I nod, watching Enzo tucking himself to her legs as she places the order on the phone, as if to make sure she doesn’t forget his pizza.
I should take him to wash up and get changed. The way he’s bouncing around, it’s obvious he won’t fall asleep anytime soon. The time difference hasn’t seemed to clock in yet, and neither has jet lag. It’ll probably be another story entirely in another twelve hours.
I grab him, telling him we need to make sure he’s clean for when the pizza arrives. He complies, letting me scrub him down with a washcloth and change him into a fresh pair of shorts and a T-shirt.
I’m letting him make angel wings on the big bed when the sound of the front door opening catches my attention.
“Han?” a male voice calls out.
It’s Mattia.
I swallow hard. I’m about to meet my brother again after four years. He thinks I’m dead—will he think he’s seeing a ghost when I’ll pop out in front of him in the next few moments?
I step into the hallway and peek into the open space of the kitchen and living area. Mattia has Hana in his arms. He’s holding on for dear life, as if he’s missed her and won’t ever let her go again. A pang hits my heart. Will this be the welcome I’ll get, too, from Leo?
He’s kissing her now, hands roving over her body. Hana giggles, then she’s breaking away.
“Wait, we have guests,” she tells him.
He looks utterly confused. “Huh?”
“B?” she calls.
I take this as my cue to step out into the open space.
Mattia frowns. It’s obvious he’s not recognizing me. I’m still wearing the features-altering makeup. With the bangs and straight bob, I must really be unrecognizable as my own brother isn’t putting two and two together.
But then again, he thinks I’m dead.
“Bérénice?” he asks, face still scrunched.
It’s time. I must come out of the shadows.
“Hi, Mattia,” I say.
He blinks. Even after a few times, he still seems stunned.
“B…Bianca?” he finally asks. “You’re alive?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“And all this time…?”
I know what he means. All this time, I was pretending to be Bérénice.
“Yes,” I say.
“I thought I heard you on the phone,” he mutters.
He still looks confused, then his face starts turning red. Confusion gives way to anger, and I know he’s about to blow his top.
Enzo chooses this moment to run into the kitchen and slam into my legs. “Pizza here?”
All of our gazes turn to him. I glance back at my brother. His face is getting redder now, mouth opening and closing as if he can’t find the words. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife so much it’s thick.
“Is this…?” he asks.
“My son. Yes.”
He frowns and narrows his eyes on me. “Leo’s.”
There’s no point denying it. Anyone who knows Leo will be able to see the insane resemblance. “Yes.”
“Damn it, Bianca—”
“Not in front of the kid,” Hana whispers to him, a hand on his arm.
He turns icy eyes onto her, then shrugs her hand off as he curses in Italian. It’s like he can’t bear to look at us, and indeed, he storms out of the room, opening the sliding doors to the deck and stepping out. I can see him screaming his frustration out there, the automatic door having closed making the interior soundproof.
My lower lip is trembling as I turn to Hana.
“This is worse than we expected,” I tell her softly.
She sighs. “Give him time.”
“That’s a luxury I don’t have.”
She places a hand on my shoulder. “I know my husband. He’s quick to anger, but he cools down just as easily. Give him a moment, then go talk to him.”
I absently run a hand over Enzo’s unruly hair.
Hana reaches for him. “Koji, come with me outside. Let’s go wait for the delivery man, so we can make sure he brought your margie pizza.”
Enzo doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s grabbed her hand and is already heading toward the front door.
Left alone inside, I turn toward the deck, watching my brother outside. His back is to me, his hands on the back of a deck chair, arms tense, head low. At least he’s not cursing anymore. Well, I hope he won’t curse me out when I go there.
He lets me stand for a long time on the deck before addressing me. I know he’s punishing me with his silence, punishing me for leaving, for putting him through this hell he lived in during my absence. Hana told me all about it. As much as it broke my heart to know what he was going through, he didn’t help me when I needed him, prompting me then to take such drastic measures to protect my son. Yes, if I’d stayed, there would’ve been a war. But we could have found a way. Or we would’ve fought. I would have, for my child. Leo would have, too.
Would Mattia have done the same for his nephew, for his blood?
“All this time,” he finally says, gritting out the words without turning to me. “And Hana was in on it.”
“It’s not her fault. She was just helping me out.” I sigh. “Matti, I’m sorry.”
“What does that change, Bi—”
I choke back a sob. “You can’t even bring yourself to say my name, can you?”
I see his arms tense even more on the chair.
“I thought you were dead!” he shouts, turning to me in the process.
His eyes are wild, but when I see the tears along his cheeks, I can’t help myself. I rush to him and wrap my arms around him. He stays stiff for long seconds, as if shocked, then his arms come around me, and he’s hugging me back.
But all too quickly, he pushes me away.
“What the fuck, Bianca? What were you playing at? Better yet, what the hell are you doing here now?”
I’m still reeling from being pushed away so hard. Thank goodness the pool is to my side, or I’d have fallen into the water had it been behind me.
“You saw him. He’s no game,” I tell him, not mincing my words.
“Your son? Koji?” he asks with a frown.
“His name is actually Lorenzo. Enzo for short. Koji is his family nickname.”
“All this time…”
“I was protecting him.”
“Leo’s son?” He shakes his head. “When did you two even…?”
I had this conversation with Hana when she came back to Tokyo a few months ago—one look at Enzo and even she saw how much he looked like Leo. I’m cringing as much now as I did back then when I revealed this secret.
“It was on your wedding day,” I tell him.
“Huh?”
I glance away. “When we went to put the glitter bomb in your toiletry case.”
“In our bridal suite?”
I nod.
He gasps, as if in horror. “Fuck! In the wedding bed? You fucked my best friend in my and Hana’s wedding bed?”
I can’t face him. I’m not ashamed, but my big brother knowing the details of my sex life? It’s not something I’m really open to discussing. “Well, it happened, okay?”
“That fucker! He knew you were engaged. I told him I’d kill anyone who touched you, even enlisted his help to make sure no one touched you.”
I turn to him, my lips pinched tight at his righteous recriminations. “That’s right. I was the little prize you all needed to keep safe, right? The pure virgin sent to the sacrifice?”
“You obviously weren’t a virgin after that day,” he throws at me, then frowns. “So that’s why Leo was so adamant we find you. He even told me he was going to marry you when we found you—”
“What?” I burst, surprised by his words. “Leo was going to marry me?”
“But you’d already run by then. If you’d stayed—”
“Don’t you dare tell me I should’ve stayed!” I heard the righteousness growing in his tone, making it sound like it’s my fault I didn’t get to be with the man I love for the past four years, that my child didn’t get the chance to know his father from the time he was in my womb. “You’d all but sold me to the Abrashi family. Father would’ve taken me to have an abortion and that would’ve been the end of it.”
He blanches. “Father. He doesn’t know.”
It’s my turn to blanch. “No. Don’t tell him.”
“You think he won’t find out?”
I force in an inhale, calming the panic inside me. “Not yet. Please.”
“Bianca,” he sighs.
It’s strange to hear this name all of a sudden. I’d almost forgotten I was Bianca Bonucci back in Tokyo.
“Leo,” he says. “He also doesn’t know? No, don’t answer that. He wouldn’t have gone mad with grief like he did if he knew.”
My heart clenches then rips itself apart hearing this. “Hana said…he killed Ardian?”
Mattia’s jaw clenches, then he nods. “He also doesn’t know he has a son. Or he would’ve scorched the Earth in revenge.”
I nod softly. “Enzo is his heir.”
“A Don’s heir,” he says, clarity dawning on his face. “That’s why you came back.”
“I was just protecting my child, Matti.”
He stares at me for long seconds, then finally, he nods. “You know, you coming back with Leo’s son might not be such a bad thing, after all. The syndicate is putting pressure on him to marry and beget an heir.”
“Which he already has,” I add vehemently.
“Exactly. And when he finds out you’re still alive…” He sighs. “This is a shitstorm waiting to happen.”
I can’t say he’s wrong. “I’m ready for it.”
He glances up at me where he’s slumped a little against the back of the chair. “Father needs to be told.”
I know there’s no way out of this, so with resolve settling inside my every cell, I nod. Mattia takes his phone out and places the call. He tells our father to come to his place and meet him at the side. We sit down quietly as we wait. Five minutes later, someone steps out from the side of the house, and we both stand.
My step almost falters when my gaze lands on my father. He’s older, so much older, as if he’s aged more than a decade in the past four years. His gait is slower, his back stooped, his tanned, usually stern face lined and weary now.
He, too, doesn’t seem to recognize me.
“What’s so urgent, Mattia?” he asks, giving me a curt nod before turning to his son.
Mattia chin-nods toward me.
I didn’t think I could back out from this whole endeavor, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to backtrack now, to run back to Tokyo or anywhere else I can hide just so I don’t have to face this, face him now. But the only way out is through, so I steel myself with a deep breath.
“Good evening, Father,” I say.
His eyes grow wide, mouth opening, slack-jawed for a long moment. “Bianca? But you’re dead.”
I wince, forcing a little smile. “Apparently not.”
His face now turns as red as Mattia’s did. It’s strange how I never saw before how much my brother resembles our father in both looks and reactions.
“You started a war,” he throws out at me, spittle flying from his mouth.
I bristle, my own anger coming to the fore to burn a path straight to my mouth, obliterating any filter that may have stood before it. “ You started one when you sacrificed me like a worthless pawn on the board of your personal ambitions.”
“Okay, enough,” Mattia calls.
I’m stunned by the authority in his tone, and what surprises me even more is how the old man also seems to listen to him.
“What’s done is done,” my brother says. “Father, there’s a reason Bianca left.”
He steps away from me, and in doing so, the view into the house opens behind us. Clearly visible at the kitchen island is Hana with a little boy on her hip as she opens pizza boxes on the marble countertop.
My father seems speechless as he takes a few steps to go stand right in front of the closed glass doors. When he turns to me, his eyes are misty. I’m frowning now, not understanding what game he’s playing. Could he be happy? Does he even have a heart that’s melting at the sight of Enzo?
“My grandson?” he asks with an awe-filled voice.
I’m still pondering his reaction, though I nod, confirming this.
His eyebrows join in a small frown. “Leo Pellegrini’s son. He looked just like that when he was five.” He turns to me. “How old is he?”
“Three.”
“You were pregnant when you left,” he adds.
I nod again.
“Leo doesn’t know, I presume?”
“No,” I reply verbally this time.
My father sighs. “May I?”
It’s strange having him ask my permission to do anything. I still remember the slap he delivered to my mouth and cheek when I tried to tell him he was marrying me to a sick pervert. But it appears a child is a miracle worker. I used to hear of family rifts in our community being settled or even smoothed over with the arrival of a baby. It seems I’m watching this happen right in front of my eyes, seeing the mighty yet ultimately toothless lion my father has always been turning into a meek lamb at the sight of his grandson.
And this does something to me, to my heart. I can’t forget what he did, but I know I have to forgive him. That’s how we’ll be able to move forward. Forget the recriminations, the resentment, and embrace love, which can cure anything.
“You want to meet him?” I ask.
When he nods, he reminds me of an eager child. It warms my soul to see this, to feel the hope that a bond might develop between us after all this time.
“Come,” I tell him, opening the sliding doors.
As I step inside, I can’t help but think of Leo, of what will happen when he finds out he has a son, a child I took away from him all this time, an heir he didn’t even know exists.
Will there be hope, then, for anything between us?