10. Collins
TEN
COLLINS
“You look like shit,” Kyle muttered, coming out of his room hours after Robbie had left. “In fact, you haven’t looked well since the other day when you wouldn’t eat.”
How perceptive of my little brother. “I’m fine. Just tired is all. Haven’t been sleeping well.” All of that was the truth. My brain had been stuck in anxiety mode for the last week. What should have been a fun night had reduced me to walking on eggshells.
“You’re worried.” He sat down beside me on the couch and exhaled. “This is the first stretch of time we haven’t had to concerned about being found, and you’re antsy.”
Sure. Let’s go with that. “A little. Maybe. In the time we’ve been here, I haven’t even thought about finding mom and dad’s killer. I’ve been content to be Collins while you’re Lucas.” I frowned. “What does that say about me?”
Kyle shrugged. “That you want to forget? Can’t say I haven’t thought about the same. Are you worried if you dig or ask questions, Miceli would find out and then you’ll have to tell him the truth?”
Was I? No. I was more worried about him still firing me. I nibbled on my thumbnail. “I don’t know.”
“We’ve already been declared dead, Steph,” Kyle murmured. “We can’t get that life back without proof of who killed our parents.”
“Even then, we don’t know if anyone would believe us either,” I added.
“Exactly. We were the last two to see them alive.”
Indeed. My car was at the scene. Kyle was gone. So was I. If we came forward now, the police would think we killed them and went into hiding by faking our deaths. Not that we hadn’t faked them, in a weird sort of way. “We can’t keep running.”
“No. Here we can be Collins and Lucas. Out there,” he pointed outside, beyond the property, “we’re still Stephanie and Kyle Hollis.”
I knew that. Scrubbing my face, I groaned.
“I don’t know what to do anymore. To our friends and family, we’re dead.
That means our trust funds our gone. Any money we had in savings is gone.
Everything about us is a clean slate. However, whoever killed our parents knows we’re alive because they keep sending men after us when we’re out there. ”
“We stay here then,” he said, like my job was never ending.
“And when Rocca goes back to school?” I cocked a brow.
“You tell him you don’t want to leave and that you’ll take any other position, or maybe by then my arm’s better and I’ll decide to work for him here too.
We can figure this out.” The determination etched into my brother’s features left my heart aching to lie to him and say sure, but I had a feeling once my job was over, we’d have to leave.
“Kyle, I...” I didn’t know what to say to him. I wouldn’t give him any false hope. We couldn’t afford to be optimistic after everything we’d been through. “Do you even think your arm is getting better?”
He nodded. “Every day. Since Benny and Antonio started helping me out, the strength is returning a little at a time. I can curl about twenty pounds now. Before I couldn’t even squeeze a stress ball.”
I guess I missed a lot while I’d been stuck in my world. “That’s amazing. How does your wound-site feel, though?”
“Sore.” He shrugged. “The scar tugs a little whenever I’m working out, but it’s because I haven’t used my arm for much over the last year-ish.”
“Yeah.” I frowned. “You know the anniversary is coming up next week.”
He inclined his chin. “What did you want to do?”
“Nothing.” My bottom lip trembled as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. “We can’t do anything. If we do—did we’d be found out? I won’t put us back in danger.”
“So, we’ll mourn here, together, like we have been.
” Kyle hugged me tight as I let the anguish go and cried.
I missed my mother and father so much. I knew Kyle did as well.
Keeping this secret was the hardest part.
Maybe in ten years it would be easier. But today, I wasn’t sure that would ever be possible for us.
“I shouldn’t be crying,” I whispered. “If someone saw us or heard us...”
“That’s on them. I’m tired of playing the what if game,” my brother muttered. “Our lies will catch up to us if we don’t learn to trust someone to help us.”
I thought I’d found the person to trust, but every time I turned around, I doubted myself and him.
What if Miceli was in on the plot? If Miceli knew who I was all along, why was he waiting for the right moment to strike?
What if we were in danger just being here?
“Who do we trust when we know what our father did for a living?”
“Miceli,” Kyle said with a confidence I didn’t have at the moment.
“What if he’s the bad guy, too?” I wouldn’t meet Kyle’s gaze, especially after what happened between Miceli and me.
“Nah. The guys who work for him have too much respect for him,” Kyle said, waving off the notion we were sitting within the den of snakes. “If he was like the others, or the people who killed our parents, he wouldn’t inspire the loyalty he has with them.”
“Father was loyal to those he worked for, too. Look where that got him,” I mumbled.
“What if he wasn’t?”
I stared at my brother, turning over his question.
What if daddy wasn’t loyal? Like he was what?
Stealing? We didn’t have to steal. We had more money than we knew how to spend, and he wouldn’t risk us.
It made little sense. No, something else had to have happened to our parents.
It wasn’t father stealing from the families.
“I don’t believe that for a minute. He wouldn’t do anything to put us in harm’s way. ”
“What if it wasn’t father but mother?” Kyle was stretching. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I wondered how many nights he’d stayed up later than he should have, trying to connect the dots on what happened to our parents.
“Please tell me you haven’t been using Miceli’s Wi-Fi to investigate our parents’ death,” I said, heart lodged in my throat. “What if he has access to all of your search logs?”
“Okay, I won’t tell you,” he said with a playful smile. “I’ve been using a VPN and incognito mode, too. I don’t think anyone has found me yet.”
“The operative word is, yet, Kyle,” I hissed. “Damn it, what if your searching sends someone straight to Miceli’s front door?”
“Do you think someone would be stupid enough to come to Il Malocchino’s house?” Kyle quirked a brow.
No. I didn’t think so. However, if they were stupid and didn’t think Miceli was up to the challenge, they would.
I wasn’t reckless enough to think they wouldn’t.
Nor was I irresponsible enough to bet on anyone other than Miceli, either.
Wait, what? “Who’s the Il Malocchino? ” Kyle stared at me like I was stupid.
“Wait, are you telling me those rumors are true? He’s an assassin? ”
Kyle inclined his chin.
“Holy shit. I mean... I heard things. Things little girls should never hear whispered by adults. I thought they were just, you know...”
“Making shit up?” Kyle chuckled. “No. So, I think we’re safer here than you realized.”
“Do we honestly want to put that to the test?” Here I was, promising myself I wouldn’t cause anymore waves, and my brother had been the guy at the controls, churning up the waters without me realizing it.
“We can’t stay like this,” Kyle said. “Like you said, your job will eventually run out. We’ll have to leave this place at some point.”
“What about you getting a job as security here, huh, tough guy?” I teased. “I thought you had this all planned out.”
He shrugged. “What if that doesn’t work out?”
Well, I’d have to save my pay. Use the bare minimum to make sure we had food and the rest?
Well, should something happen, we’d have money in an account to tide us over.
Always plan ahead. Or, plan for the worst, hope for the best. “We’ll cross that bridge when it gets here.
Until then, we keep moving forward, minus looking at our parents’ case.
” I gave him a pointed look. Even if I wanted to dig into it, I couldn’t anymore.
All it would take was one wrong move and Miceli would start asking questions.
“Fine, I’ll stop.” He lifted his hands in defeat. “So, what are we doing today?”
Nothing. Absolutely and blissfully nothing. “I was going to read all day. You can play your video games or watch movies. Whatever you want.” After the week I had, I didn’t want to move.
“Can I hang out with the guys?” He cut his gaze toward the main house and garage.
“I don’t care. Just be careful what you say to them.
” It was hypocritical of me to point out Miceli’s failings as a father with Rocca, when I did the same to Kyle.
He and Rocca were in the same boat together.
Only, our issue was due to us supposedly being dead.
Which reminded me... “Hey, we should think about bleaching your hair again soon.”
He grunted. “Yeah. Need a haircut too.”
In the beginning, I’d nipped a clipper set from a small salon near the motel where we were staying.
I hated the idea of stealing, but we were scared and on the run.
We needed the money to survive, so I couldn't justify paying fifty bucks for something. I hated myself for being that way. However, the kit came in handy. For almost a year now, every eight weeks, I cut and bleached Kyle’s hair.
Sometimes only the roots and sometimes his entire head.
We had to keep up with our disguises or else we’d be found.
“I can do that tonight.” After getting paid the first time, I’d ordered the supplies I’d need in bulk, so I wouldn’t have to go buy it. Thankfully, no one at the house questioned the delivery.
“Sounds good.” Kyle stood. “You know, I get why you’re so paranoid. This hasn’t been easy for either of us, but I think we’re safe here.”