CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LORENZO
I drove through the dark streets, gripping the wheel tighter than necessary, my mind looping the same damn moment over and over. Maria. That kiss.
Her taste was still on my lips, like a drug I didn’t ask for but suddenly couldn’t live without. I was addicted, totally and utterly addicted to the taste of her lips.
It wasn’t just a kiss. It was an unraveling and a loss of control I never allowed myself. I should have stopped it sooner. I should have reminded myself what this was—fake, a performance, a well-staged lie. Something that wasn’t part of the deal we had made with one another.
But nothing about the way she kissed me back felt like a lie. Her fingers in my hair, the way her body pressed against mine, the way she trembled when my hands moved lower—every bit of it was real, too real.
I exhaled sharply, shifting gears, trying to shake off the heat crawling under my skin. I wanted her. Every part of me ached to pull her back into my arms and do what I’d barely managed to stop myself from doing in that damn parking lot.
But not like that. Not in the open as some reckless mistake. If I ever made love to Maria, it wouldn’t be hurried. It wouldn’t be for show. It wouldn’t be in the middle of a goddamn parking lot with cameras flashing.
Why the hell was I even thinking about making love to her? That wasn’t part of our deal. Neither was kissing her like the world didn’t exist.
Yet here I was, thinking about it. Feeling it.
I cursed under my breath. Maybe I was just caught up in the moment. Maybe it was just physical. But something gnawed at me, something I couldn’t ignore. The way she made me feel was familiar.
It had that same fire—that same pull. It was like her lips were the only place I belonged, like that night in the club.
I clenched my jaw, pushing the thought away. That woman didn’t exist. She was a fantasy and a fleeting illusion in the dark. I didn’t even know her name. I had held onto her memory because she had stirred feelings I had only had when I was younger for another woman I couldn’t have. Was that the similarity? But the lady in the club never came back.
But Maria wasn’t a memory. She was here now. She came back.
And she was off-limits. I wasn’t going to cross that line because I wasn’t sure she even wanted me to.
Or maybe it was Matteo holding her back. The thought hit me hard.
Was she hesitating because of her past with his father? I swallowed, my grip on the wheel tightening. If that was the case, then we were both holding onto ghosts that didn’t exist.
I dared not bring it up. That was a line I wouldn’t cross. Some things, once said, couldn’t be unsaid. It would be a hard conversation to have because she had already said it was a fling, but something told me that it wasn’t just a fling for her.
When I pulled into my driveway, Dante was waiting by the front steps, arms crossed like he had something to say. I barely got out of the car before he started. “You’re going to the gala.” He had sent me an email earlier about some gala happening. I didn’t even bother to read it before sending him a strongly worded, NO.
“No, I’m not.” I repeated, hoping this time he wouldn’t push.
“Yes, you are.”
I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “Dante, I have enough on my plate. Maria. Enrico. I don’t have time to go play dress-up and kiss ass all night.” That was exactly what I thought about any gathering of the elites, a place where asses were kissed to get favors.
“Then don’t go for the gala. Go for Maria.”
That made me pause.
Dante smirked. Knowing that he had finally gotten my attention. “It’s a good opportunity to be seen. You and Maria. Publicity. People talking. Isn’t that the whole point?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Since when do you care about publicity?”
“Since I started seeing you lose your mind over a woman. Also, some potential clients will be there. I want you to just shake hands with them so I can start the conversation with them, knowing you are acquainted,” he explained confidently.
I scoffed. “I’m not losing my mind,” I paused and continued. “And I knew this wasn’t about you caring about any PDA stuff. It is about you and business. It is always about business for you.”
“You’re losing something. Your mind or potential clients.”
I rolled my eyes. “You done?”
“No.”
I started walking toward the door. “I’m done.”
“So you’re going?”
I stopped. Dante is loyal to a fault, but when it comes to business, he can be persuasive. That can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Dante grinned. “Thought so.”
I sighed. “Fine. RSVP. Whatever.”
Dante clapped me on the back, looking far too amused. “You’re really willing to kiss ass for Maria, huh?”
“Shut up,” I snorted, and he grinned. “Being funny isn’t your strong suit, Dante.”
“Neither is lying, apparently.” I shook my head, walking inside.
Yeah. I was losing something. And I wasn’t sure I wanted it back.
******
I pulled up in front of Maria’s house, gripping the steering wheel like it had personally offended me. This was supposed to be simple. Show up. Talk about the gala. Leave.
But my mind was still stuck on last night and on the way she tasted and felt against me—the way every part of me had wanted to go further.
I ran a hand over my face. No. I wasn’t going to think about that. It wasn’t part of the deal to be thinking about the kiss when we were supposed to think of a way to make our relationship believable.
But right now, that wasn’t even the problem. I exhaled sharply and got out of the car before I talked myself into leaving.
Matteo was the first one to spot me. The second he did, his face lit up like I’d just promised him an entire toy store. “Lorenzo!”
He barreled toward me at full speed, his tiny feet slapping against the floor, and I barely had time to brace myself before he crashed into my legs, gripping them in a surprisingly strong hug.
“You are here early!”
I raised an eyebrow. “You sound surprised to see me this early.”
“I thought you were always too busy doing boring adult stuff!”
I smirked. “I do boring adult stuff all the time. But right now, I am officially here for non-boring activities.”
Matteo gasped dramatically. “Like what?”
I leaned in, lowering my voice like I was telling him a state secret. “Like dragons.”
His eyes went wide. “You know about dragons?”
“Know about them?” I straightened up, smirking. “I am one.” He tried to chest up, but the sight of it only made me chuckle
Matteo practically vibrated with excitement. “No way!”
“Way.” I winced at him, and the glint in his eyes was one to die for. He was so excited. It’s a sight I hardly get to see from anyone.
“Prove it.”
I crouched slightly, arms out like claws. “I am the Great Dragon of Shade, feared by all!”
Matteo gasped, gripping his toy sword. “Are you a good dragon or a bad dragon?”
That question shouldn’t have hit me as hard as it did. It was part of an internal struggle I had always had because I didn’t know the answer.
I hesitated, just for a second. “Once, I was good. But then something happened, and I became dark and feared by all.”
Matteo leaned in. “What happened?” Matteo asked with a curiousity only a five-year-old could have.
I swallowed. “The Great Dragon lost something important. Something that made him kind. And without it, he didn’t know how to be good anymore.”
Matteo stared at me like I’d just told him the most important story in the world. “But does he find it again? He sounds like a hurt dragon.”
For a second, I didn’t know how to answer. Was that the word that describes me?
Hurt. Was it pain? Resentment? Anguish? Or was I just bad and haven’t just gotten to realize and accept it?
Then, quietly, I whispered to him, “He’s trying.”
Matteo nodded like that made perfect sense. “Then, he will be good again.”
Something tightened in my chest. The way he said it with so much certainty and assurance, there was only one person who had such belief, and that was my mum. But when he said it, it felt like he also did.
This kid.
He had no idea what he was saying, and yet, somehow, he’d just summed up my entire existence in one sentence.
Before I could respond, he let out a loud roar and launched himself at me, pretending to breathe fire. I dodged, laughing despite myself.
“Alright, alright, little dragon, you win,” I said, raising my hands in defeat.
“Yay!” He jumped, and I scooped him up, placing him on my back and wrapping his arms around my neck, giggling in my ear. “You’re not so scary, Lorenzo.”
I went still.
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Before I had to figure it out, Maria walked into the room.
She stopped, taking in the scene, and as her eyes flickered between me and Matteo, a familiar gleam crossed her face.
“Matteo, sweet pea, go to your room,” she requested.
Matteo turned to her, pouting. “But we were playing!”
“Matteo.”
His shoulders slumped dramatically, but before he left, he wrapped his arms around me again. “I love you, Lorenzo.”
I stiffened. Maria froze.
Matteo didn’t even seem to notice the weight of what he’d just said. I had not thought about it till then, but I had developed a soft spot for the boy, and hearing him say he loved me meant a whole lot more to me than I would admit. This had more to do with the fact the little boy had grown on me and not just because of Maria. He pulled away, grinning, then skipped off like he hadn’t just completely wrecked my brain.
Maria and I stood there, silent. It wasn’t the kind of silence where you had nothing to say but one that felt like you had everything to say.
She folded her arms, looking everywhere but at me.
I cleared my throat. “Hi,” trying to get at least one word from my mouth.
“Hi.”
Then the silence came again. I thought I should say something about last night. I should talk about the kiss. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear whatever she had to say. I opened my mouth, hesitated, and then went for it. “About last night—”
“It’s fine,” she interrupted me even before I could get any coherent thought out of my mouth.
I blinked. “Fine?” That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I knew she wasn’t going to admit it or claim it meant more than an act, but saying that felt like she was reducing it to nothing, which we both know it wasn’t.
She nodded stiffly. “We don’t have to talk about it. As long as it doesn’t repeat itself.”
A slow, dull ache settled in my chest. I masked it with a smirk. “Ouch.”
“You’ll survive.” She teased, a smile forming on her face.
Would I? Probably.
“I actually came here for something else,” I muttered, shoving my hands in my pockets. “There’s a gala tomorrow. You and I need to be there. PDA and all that.” I muttered, trying to make it sound as casual as it could.
Her brows shot up. “A gala?”
“Yeah. Some society event on the outskirts of town. Shouldn’t take too long.”
She crossed her arms. “Outskirts of town? And why exactly should I leave Matteo to play dress-up with you?”
“Because it’s important,” I said, but as soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong choice of word.
She gave me a look. “More important than my child?”
“No, that is not what I meant.” I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. “Look, it’s one night. You have Luca. He can take care of Matteo while you are away.” And again, as soon as the words came out, I knew how wrong it sounded.
“Luca with a kid is a disaster waiting to happen. He’s practically a child himself.”
I huffed a laugh. “Fair point.” I was thankful she took it that way.
“Exactly.”
“What about Kayla?” Finally, I said something that wasn’t that bad.
Maria considered this, lips pressing together. “Kayla can handle Matteo.”
“Then?”
She sighed, rubbing her temples. “Fine,” she said casually, but I knew that this time, her word “Fine” was not casual at all. I could already see the shift in her eyes.
I smirked. “That’s a yes?”
“Don’t push your luck.”
It’s too late for that.