CHAPTER TWENTY
MARIA
Last night was everything. He was everything. Everything I had wanted, everything I had hoped for, and everything I had dreamed of. But that was the problem. Lorenzo and I was a fantasy. A wonderful dream.
The realization hit like a wave crashing over me. My heart pounded against my ribs, and for a moment, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, replaying last night in my mind.
It was reckless. It was stupid. It was the best sex I had in years—since him. I didn’t dare mention his name. I was already crashing out.
I turned my head, my gaze falling on Lorenzo. He was still asleep, his breathing slow and steady, lips slightly parted. He looked peaceful. Like a man who wasn’t constantly carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked like something straight out of a fairytale. That was it. I was living in a fairytale because this wasn’t supposed to happen.
Two days of being alone with Lorenzo and being cared for by him had made me believe in this lie we had going on. I had let my guard down and let myself feel things I had no business feeling. And now? Now, I was panicking.
I sat up carefully, ignoring the way my body ached in places I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a reminder of how completely I had given in to him. I needed to go. I needed to get dressed, to put distance between us before I did something even more foolish—like believe this could actually mean something.
The conversation from the other night echoed in my mind, the mention of the shipment and the realization that I didn’t truly know the man lying next to me. Then, there was his response about becoming a beast.
What the fuck was wrong with me? I had a son for a known mafia—like that wasn’t messy enough.
My fingers trembled as I reached for my clothes, pulling them on as quietly as possible. I had just grabbed my sweater when a voice, rough with sleep, stopped me in my tracks.
“You’re running.”
I stiffened, my back still to him. “I’m getting dressed.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, the rustling of sheets telling me he was sitting up. “And running.”
I pulled my sweater over my head, inhaling sharply before turning to face him. “Lorenzo, about last night.”
“Don’t Maria, please don’t,” he wasn't commanding me. It was more of a plea, an awful familiarity in his voice that made my stomach churn.
“Lorenzo, you and I know that this was not meant to happen. We, this, it is all a lie. A dream,” the word tasted so bitter in my mouth as I spat them out.
Lorenzo’s jaw tensed. His eyes, still heavy with sleep, sharpened with something else. “That’s a lie.”
I crossed my arms. “You’re just trying to convince yourself that this is real because of sex.”
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling harshly. “You think I just realized this after sex?” He shook his head, getting out of bed, completely unbothered by his state of undress. “It might have started as a deal, but that’s not what this is anymore.”
My eyes caught a glimpse of his body, his muscular, brooding body, and just below my eyes went down to the length of him, which was and which was normal considering he just woke up. Everything about the sight of him threw my mind to how he thrust deep inside of me last night and filled me up with every inch of him. I immediately shrugged the thought away. I forced myself to hold his gaze. “It is for me.”
A flicker of hurt flashed in his eyes before he quickly masked it. “That’s bullshit.”
I swallowed hard, ignoring the way my chest tightened. “You need your mother to sign off on the inheritance, and I need my father’s inheritance. That’s all this is. Why do we want to make this complicated when it is this simple?”
“Stop.” His voice was low and controlled, but there was an edge to it. “You’re scared, and instead of dealing with it, you’re trying to convince yourself that none of this is real.”
I clenched my fists. “Because it’s not.”
Lorenzo took a step closer, closing the space between us. “Then look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel anything for me.”
I pressed my lips together, my throat tightening.
Say it. Say it and walk away.
But I couldn’t because it would be a lie.
Lorenzo’s gaze searched mine, his voice quieter now. “Why can’t we be together?”
The question hit like a punch to the gut.
I could have told him the truth. I could have told him that I lied about Matteo’s father being a mere fling I didn’t know and that I had overheard his conversation about the shipment and didn’t want to expose my son to that world. Even if I wanted to believe Lorenzo wasn’t like his father, I couldn’t take that risk.
But I didn’t.
Because admitting all of that would mean admitting how much I cared. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do—I lied.
“Because I don’t feel the same way.” The second the words left my mouth, something inside me cracked.
Lorenzo inhaled sharply, his eyes darkening with pain that I didn’t want to see.
“You don’t mean that,” he murmured.
I forced myself to nod.
He exhaled, shaking his head. “Your mind is in fight or flight mode right now, and I know you well enough to know you’re choosing flight.”
“I need to go home.” My voice was quieter than I wanted it to be.
Lorenzo stared at me for a long moment, his jaw tight. Then, without another word, he turned and grabbed his clothes. We packed in silence.
And with every passing second, I felt myself slipping further and further away from the one thing I have always wanted but never been meant to have. Him. The drive back to town was excruciatingly silent.
I sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed, staring out the window as the scenery blurred past. The tension in the car was suffocating, with everything left unsaid. Lorenzo gripped the steering wheel with one hand, his other resting on the gearshift, fingers tapping against it as if resisting the urge to speak.
He hadn’t said much since we packed up and left. I knew he wanted to. I could feel it in the way his jaw clenched, in the way his eyes flickered toward me every now and then, but he didn’t push.
And thank God for that because I had no idea what I would say if he did.
I had done the right thing. I knew that. Even if every fiber of my being screamed at me that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Lorenzo wasn’t a bad man, but he was still dangerous in ways I couldn’t ignore. Even if he wasn’t involved in anything shady, I still had my own secrets—secrets I was prepared to take to my grave.
Matteo had already faced enough stigma just for being my father’s grandson. If people ever found out that Shade was his real father…I couldn’t protect him from that.
It would mean a lifetime of whispers behind his back. A name that would follow him forever, branding him as the son of a man who should have never existed yet caused a lot of chaos and was feared.
I exhaled sharply, pushing the thought away as Lorenzo pulled into the driveway. Before the car had even fully stopped, the front door burst open, and Matteo came running out, his little arms spread wide.
“Mommy!”
The moment I stepped out, he crashed into me, wrapping his arms around my legs. I knelt down, pulling him into my chest, breathing in his familiar scent.
“Did you behave?” I murmured into his hair.
Matteo pulled back just enough to nod. “Yes!”
Kayla stood at the door, smiling. I placed Matteo down and glanced up at her. “I hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”
Kayla shook her head. “He was perfect. As always.”
Matteo beamed, but his attention quickly shifted. His eyes landed on Lorenzo, and his grin widened. “Lorenzo!”
Lorenzo barely had time to react before Matteo ran to him. Without hesitation, he scooped Matteo up, holding him like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Did you bring me anything?” Matteo’s eyes were full of hopeful mischief.
I stiffened, embarrassment washing over me. With everything that happened, I had completely forgotten to get him something.
“You know I did.” Lorenzo, as always, was one step ahead. He set Matteo down, walked over to his bag in the car, and pulled out a small, shiny toy car.
Matteo’s face lit up. “Whoa! Thank you!” He held the toy up like it was the greatest treasure he had ever received. “You’re the best!”
Something twisted in my chest. Even after everything—after the argument, after what I had said—Lorenzo still thought about Matteo. Still made sure he had something. Matteo ran inside to play with it, and Kayla followed, and suddenly, it was just the two of us.
I cleared my throat. “When did you have time to get that?”
Lorenzo shrugged. “Yesterday. When you were sick.”
My chest tightened. That was… thoughtful. Too thoughtful. I took a breath, steadying myself. “About this morning—”
Before I could finish, Luca’s voice interrupted.
“Thank God you’re back!”
He strolled over, looking far too excited for my liking. “I have so much to tell you, sis. I think I am also going to get my inheritance very soon.”
Lorenzo crossed his arms. “This sounds like a family matter.”
Luca smirked. “Oh, you’re family now, aren’t you?” His tone was teasing, but my stomach knotted at the implication. “I mean, I don’t know what happened on that trip, but…”
Lorenzo and I both stiffened.
“Nothing,” we answered at the same time.
Luca’s eyes flicked between us, suspicion clear on his face, but he let it go. “Anyway, I have news.”
I folded my arms. “What news?”
Luca’s grin faded slightly as he turned serious. “Uncle Enrico thinks he’s close to finding Shade. I overheard him speaking to one of his goons.”
The world around me dimmed. Shade. The name hit like a gunshot, echoing in my head and making my hands turn cold.
Lorenzo went rigid beside me, but I barely noticed. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, drowning out everything else. Luca kept talking, but I wasn’t listening. My mind was spiraling, unraveling at the edges.
I hadn’t told anyone the truth. I hadn’t told anyone that Matteo wasn’t just some nameless man’s child.
That Shade— the Shade —was his father. At least, that was what I believed sometimes, while other times, I wasn’t sure. But if Uncle Enrico really found him…I forced myself to swallow and forced myself to breathe.
Luca glanced between us. “You both look weird.”
Lorenzo recovered first. “Just tired,” he said smoothly. “Long drive.”
Luca didn’t look convinced, but he let it go.
I turned to Lorenzo. “I need space.”
His jaw tightened.
I continued before he could argue. “We should stick to the script. Keep things for PDA only.”
His expression darkened, but he nodded. “Fine.”
He turned to leave but hesitated. “I’ll come over tomorrow to pick you up. We need to go see my mum so she will know I am taking the whole marriage thing seriously.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t know what to say because somehow he just affirmed that what we had was just for the public. Instead, I turned on my heel and went inside, heading straight for my room and closing the door behind me.
The second I was alone, I let out a shaky breath. My hands trembled as I pressed them against the dresser, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Shade.
The past I had buried was clawing its way back. And if they found him and found out the truth, I didn’t even want to imagine what would happen next.