Chapter Four
Princess Ophelia looks shocked when she sees my pale face as I leave the room. I hurry past her and down the hall. My heart races and tears burn in my eyes. I just want to get away from here.
“Kaya, are you all right?” the princess asks worriedly. “Did he do something to you?”
I stop and force myself to breathe calmly to steady my heartbeat.
“No, he didn’t,” I reply in a quivering voice.
That’s just it. If he amplified my feelings and thereby forced me to do what I did, I might be able to accept it. But I licked the chocolate cake off his fingers without him manipulating me! His fingers on my lips, my tongue touching his fingertips—I can still feel it, and it makes me blush.
Caden could be lying. After all, he is a sin mage . But as sure as I was earlier that he was amplifying my feelings, I’m even more certain now that he didn’t. There was no reason for him to lie.
You’re welcome, love. I hear his last words in my head. Does he really think he’s done me a favor?
Anger rises in me, overriding the crushing feeling of shame. Anger at this arrogant sin mage. Anger at Ophelia and the king. But most of all, anger at myself for letting it go so far.
Ophelia tries to persuade me to stay for tea, but I refuse. My head throbs dully, and I don’t know whether to cry or scream in anger. Rarely has something triggered such intense feelings in me. It scares me and I need to be alone right now. The only one I could stand to be around is Tinkerbell.
When I get home, Ava is in the middle of hanging her laundry on a small rack in our living room. She hums to herself as she pulls the gray items out of the basket. She’s wearing her hair down and you can clearly see the streak of silver.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask.
Ava wheels around to face me. A pair of pantyhose she was about to fasten with clips slides off the drying rack and lands in a wet pile on the floorboards.
“By all the seven virtues, don’t scare me like that! I came home early. Just didn’t feel like working anymore.”
I sigh. Ava should actually be making up hours, not skipping more work. She did poorly on her last diligence evaluation. Now she’s supposed to work ten hours a day for a month so she’ll do better on the next one. But if she keeps this up, it’s not going to happen.
Before I can say anything about it, Ava is already standing in front of me, fingering the fabric of my blouse.
“Is that a red wine stain?”
Shoot!
Why does my roommate have to be so observant? I was hoping I could just curl up on my bed and be alone with my thoughts for a while. But there’s no escaping Ava’s rapid-fire questioning. “Wasn’t today the meeting with the princess? What was it like? What did she want from you?”
So much for my comfy bed. Sighing, I settle down on our sofa and pull one of the cushions toward me so I have something to hold onto. Tinkerbell, who has been dozing between the pillows, stretches and yawns.
“I don’t really know where to start,” I admit.
Ava’s eyes grow wide with curiosity.
“Tell me everything!” she demands.
After I finish, Ava is unusually quiet. I gnaw nervously on my bottom lip, wondering if she’s judging me. Maybe she thinks I took it a step too far. Even though I didn’t really have a choice. After all, the king demanded it of me.
“Was he attractive?” she finally wants to know.
The question is so unexpected that I’m sure I misheard.
“Who?” I ask evasively.
“You know, that Nox guy.”
That’s all she cares about? I throw my hands in the air and walk over to the sink in our kitchen to get a glass of water. Tinkerbell follows me, mewing, hoping to get a treat. When she sees I don’t have anything for her, she scampers off in a huff to her spot on the windowsill.
“Yes, he was,” I reluctantly admit. I can’t help but think of him licking his fingers one by one. Do you want to know what your sin tastes like? “But that doesn’t matter.”
“Well, I wouldn’t complain if they wanted to put a delicious meal in front of me. Especially if the company was good.”
My roommate winks mischievously as I return to the sofa and plop down across from her.
I roll my eyes.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it good company. He’s a sin mage, Ava.”
I’m relieved she’s not judging me. But I’m also kind of annoyed at how easily she’s dismissing this. This isn’t a game, it’s my life. And it feels like it just got really messy.
“Are you going to see him again?” Ava asks.
“There was never any talk of that.”
She tilts her head.
“Then I’ll ask it another way. Would you like to see him again?”
I vehemently shake my head.
It’s the truth. I never want to see Caden Nox again. And yet, meeting him has awakened something that I didn’t know was lying dormant inside me. A desire that—now that it’s come to the surface—tugs at me relentlessly.
The desire for more.
The days drag by. I try not to think about Caden Nox and the dinner we shared, but I keep seeing the mocking look that was on his face. My meals, which have always seemed terribly bland, now seem inedible. I force them down, trying not to remember the taste of dates, strawberries, and chocolate cake.
Every time I sift through the mail, I look for an envelope with the royal seal on it, hoping for a note from Princess Ophelia asking me to visit her at the palace again. I just can’t believe that one dinner was all there was to it. It feels like my world has been turned upside down, and yet everything is the same. I go to work, get my diligence rating of four and a half out of five stars, and spend my evenings with Ava, who doesn’t try to talk me into going to another underground party.
I’ve been going through the library’s newspaper archives trying to find out more about Caden Nox. He owns a gentleman’s club in the East End where a fire broke out two years ago. The newspaper shows a picture of him standing next to the burned-down part of the building. I trace his distinctive features with my finger before quickly making the article disappear.
“Miss Ashton?” I wince as Mrs.Byron suddenly appears behind me. She seems irritated at finding me here. Even though it’s my lunch break, I don’t have any business being in the newspaper archive. “There’s a young woman here for you.”
Not another customer who wants to complain! Better get it over with quickly.
Sighing, I stand up. I can’t quite read Mrs.Byron’s expression. She doesn’t seem annoyed but rather curious … or suspicious.
I follow her from the cold basement rooms up the stairs to the reception desk. I immediately recognize the woman waiting there, arms folded in front of her chest. It’s Ophelia’s personal guard.
What’s she doing here?
My steps slow down until they falter altogether. My hands clench into fists.
The guard turns to me. “The princess wishes to speak with you, Miss Ashton.”
Her dark brown eyes scrutinize me warily, as if she expects her words to send me running. As if she might have to give chase any minute now and hunt me down. Ridiculous! Like I would have the slightest chance against the might of the royal family.
I lift my chin a little, trying not to let it show how unsettled I am by her being here.
“When?”
“Right now. Princess Ophelia is waiting in her limo.”
I hear a strangled sound behind me, probably Mrs.Byron trying to stifle a surprised squeal. She’s a big fan of the royal family. I’ve seen her lose her composure only once—it was when we received a signed first edition of King Henry I’s biography. She still guards that book like it’s a treasure.
If it were up to me, I would gladly let Mrs.Byron trade places with me. Then she could also dine with Caden Nox and allow him to feed on her sin. The idea of rigid Mrs.Byron gleefully shoving strawberry after strawberry into her mouth is almost funny, yet I grimace.
“The princess is waiting.” The guard is unrelenting.
“Of course. Mrs.Byron, may I leave a little early today?”
When I turn to the librarian, her hand is in front of her mouth and she stares at us, perplexed. She doesn’t manage more than a nod. I take that as a yes and follow the guard to a black limousine with tinted windows parked right in front of the library. She opens the rear door and indicates for me to get in.
“Thank you, Erin,” I hear Ophelia’s warm voice.
The black leather seats are cool to the touch as I slide in next to the princess. Today she’s wearing a white blouse with her gray skirt. Her dark blonde hair is pinned up into a loose bun.
“How nice to see you again, Kaya,” she greets me. “So this is where you work?”
She looks past me out the window. Despite its lack of adornments, the library is an imposing building and one of the oldest in all of Virtue. The lattice windows and stone columns set into the gray facade of the building are reminiscent of days gone by. Mrs.Byron told me quite a bit about the building’s history when I was hired. But I’m not here to make small talk, so I just nod and wait to see what the princess really came to talk about.
She smiles shyly, and like last time, I get the feeling she’s a little uncomfortable with the conversation.
“You did us a great service when you dined with the sin mage, you know that, right? Not only did we manage to expose the sinful cabinet member, but with Caden Nox’ help, we were able to track down two more sinners.”
I remain silent. The princess isn’t here to thank me, I’m sure of it. She wants me to meet Caden again. And who knows what he’ll ask of me this time. The thought sits in my stomach like a heavy stone, and I barely dare to breathe.
“I haven’t told you the whole story, Kaya.” The princess exhales with a sigh and her fingers play nervously with the tulle of her skirt. “The problem is bigger than just one sinful cabinet member.”
I was right. She wants me to allow Caden to feed on me again. And she believes that the things she’s kept hidden from me until now will convince me to do it willingly.
“How much bigger?” I ask in a clipped tone.
The princess leans toward me. She speaks more softly now, though no one can overhear us in the limo anyway. Erin is standing outside next to the car, and the driver is separated from us by a partition.
“What I’m about to tell you is strictly confidential, do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember the attack on the cathedral six months ago?”
I nod. Of course I do.
Sin mages had hidden a bomb in the sanctuary. Twelve people died and much of the cathedral was destroyed. The culprit was caught, but there was speculation that he was not the only one involved. It was a heavy blow to Virtue and to all who seek refuge from sin in religion.
Ophelia sighs sorrowfully at the thought.
“We’ve found evidence that there might be another attack,” she continues. “And Caden Nox has indicated that he has information that can help us.”
So that’s it. The reason why I’m to be thrown to the wolves once again. I can’t say that I don’t understand where they’re coming from. Human lives depend on Caden’s cooperation. How many will die if the attack isn’t stopped in time? Dozens? Hundreds? I can’t let that happen. No matter what it costs me, it’s nothing compared to the suffering such an attack would bring.
I swallow dryly. Ophelia opens her mouth as if to say something else, but I don’t give her the chance to speak.
“When do I see him again?” I ask.
Her relief is almost palpable.