Chapter Eleven
Public flogging.
The words haunt me in my sleep. Ophelia muttered them to me as we left the hall. The sentence her father passed on the pair of sinners. And all because of a brief embrace. Was it worth it? I can’t imagine.
During the night I startle awake again and again, finding myself in a strange room, in a strange bed.
Ophelia and I no longer share a room. I now sleep in a room down another hallway, one floor below. It’s a guest room with an adjoining bathroom. Much smaller than Ophelia’s, but cozy. Still, I can’t shake the constricting feeling in my chest.
I feel like I can’t breathe properly. As if the walls are closing in, making the palace my prison. The king’s steel-gray eyes haunt my dreams. They seem to see right through me and drag all my secrets out into the light. Secrets I didn’t have until I met Caden.
At dawn, I peel myself out of my rumpled sheets, walk to the window, and open it. The hinges squeak. Cold, crisp morning air hits me. Tiny dewdrops have collected on the outside of the pane.
My gaze goes to the palace garden. It is meticulously laid out and in the dim light of dawn the high hedges appear labyrinth-like and threatening. The smell of damp earth hits my nose. I breathe it in, lean my head out of the window, and feel the tingling cold on my skin.
I have to do something. Anything. Even though I called in sick to Mrs.Byron, I can’t stay away from work for days on end. And Ava will be missing me already, I’m sure. I told her on the phone that I was visiting my foster mother. But she sounded suspicious. I bet she didn’t believe a word I said. I’d never stayed away that long before, certainly not to pay a visit to my old home. I didn’t really want to lie to Ava, but it’s better this way. The less she knows, the less danger I put her in.
I’m up and dressed before the sun has fully risen. I’ve decided to leave the palace to at least get some of my clothes. I just don't feel comfortable in Ophelia’s luxurious skirts and dresses.
I leave my room on quiet soles. No one has forbidden me to move around the palace without an escort. Still, I feel like an intruder. As I walk down the hall, a servant comes my way. He frowns when he catches sight of me.
“Miss Ashton, is there anything I can do for you?”
“Thanks, but I just want to get some fresh air,” I reply evasively.
He doesn’t need to know where I plan on going. But when I move past him, he turns around and doesn’t leave my side. When I look at him questioningly, he tilts his head.
“If you’ll allow me, I’ll escort you to where you’re going,” he says stiffly.
Of course, I should have known I wouldn’t be left to my own devices, free to roam the palace by myself. Sighing, I allow him to accompany me.
It’s still quiet in the palace. Some windows are open to let fresh air in. Birds are chirping, and I instinctively quicken my pace. I know that freedom’s not waiting for me on the other side of that gate. Even if I leave the palace, I’ll always be a caged bird. Someone who has to keep her emotions in check. Watch what she says, what she does, what she thinks at every turn. Just like everyone else. Still, I feel like I won’t be able to breathe freely again until I leave these walls.
At the palace gate I nod to the servant, letting him know that I will go on alone from here.
“Tell Princess Ophelia that I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” I instruct him.
He hesitates and glances at the guard stationed at the gate as if looking for support from her. He’s probably not sure whether he can let me leave.
“Shall I call you a car, miss?”
“Thank you, that won’t be necessary.”
I’d rather walk and have a little peace and quiet for a few minutes.
Before the servant can reply, I turn and am on my way. The streets of Virtue are already bustling with activity; no one wants to be late for work. I mingle with the men and women making their way with haste, heads bowed. No one pays any attention to me. No one knows I just left the palace and walked through the East End alongside Caden Nox three days ago.
With every step I take, I relax a little more. Today could be a day like any other day. One in which I do my morning shopping at the market before going home to get ready for work. In which I intercept the paperboy at the entrance to the library to take the current issues from him, put them out in the reading room, and take the old ones to the archives.
But today isn’t like any other day, I quickly realize as I turn onto my street and see Caden’s limousine already waiting for me.
I stop abruptly. Why’s he here? How did he know I’m on my way to my apartment? I’m pretty sure he didn’t come here to pay Ava a visit.
The back door of the car opens, but no one gets out. It’s an invitation. One I’ll definitely be declining. Caden’s already gotten me into enough trouble. It’s better if I stay away from him.
Determined, I trudge past the limo toward the front door.
“Kaya,” Caden’s voice rings out from inside the car.
I think I hear a pleading undertone, but maybe I’m just imagining it. In any case, it confuses me so much that I stop on the steps to the front door. I notice the curtains moving in the first-floor window and I’m sure Mrs. Hughes is watching me. If I unlock the door and step into the hallway now, she’ll have a thousand questions.
Sighing, I turn to Caden. He looks almost casual today, with his cotton pants, dark blue shirt, and tousled hair that looks like he’s run his fingers through his blond locks a few too many times.
“I just came to get some clothes,” I say, anticipating his objections.
I’m sure he thinks I’ve left the palace and am returning home for good, defenseless against his enemies. But I’m not stupid. I want to live. Besides, I would never want to put Ava in danger.
“Get in!” Caden growls.
It doesn’t sound pleading now, more like a command. Nevertheless, I get into the limousine with him, knowing full well that Mrs.Hughes will now have a thousand and one questions.
Caden eyes me up and down as if to make sure I’m still in one piece. His gaze burns like fire on my skin. Involuntarily, I cross my arms in front of my chest. I’m remembering our last encounter, and I wonder if he does too. Is he thinking about how he dragged my half-naked self out of Crime and Punishment? How my chin was coated in strawberry juice and my body trembled with desire and shame?
“What do you want?” I ask harshly, in order to hide my embarrassment.
By all the seven virtues, he’s seen me in my bra . How am I ever going to look him in the eye again without blushing?
“To talk to you,” he says.
“What if I don’t want to talk to you?”
He raises his eyebrows. My question seems to amuse him.
“Have you grown claws since we last met, love?”
Funny. But I’m not going to play his little games. If Caden won’t give me a straight answer, I might as well go.
I move to get out of the car, but Caden places a hand on my forearm. Despite the fabric covering my skin, the touch flashes through me like lightning, and I freeze.
“Kaya, please,” Caden says softly, pulling his hand away again. “Ophelia mentioned that there was an incident last night. She said you were pretty upset.”
Ophelia. So she’s the one who told Caden I was coming here. She probably got word from her servant and put two and two together. But why did she have to tell the sin mage, of all people? And what’s more, to tell him of last night’s events!
“I’m fine,” I say, glaring at Caden.
Is he seriously going to pretend to care about my well-being now? I don’t buy it.
“Tell me what happened,” Caden demands, leaning back in his seat.
“Nothing happened,” I reply defiantly. We engage in a silent battle, which Caden ultimately wins. With a frustrated sigh, I throw my hands in the air. It’s not like he’s going to let it go anyway. “If you must know, a couple got too close to each other while dancing and now the king wants to punish them.”
No big deal, I want to add, but the words get stuck in my throat. For the two sinners, it is a big deal. They risked their lives for a single touch.
“They’ve sinned,” Caden states dryly.
I nod.
“And you watched them do it?”
“I might have,” I mumble.
I feel somewhat uncomfortable admitting that. It’s like I can still feel the heat that overcame me at the sight of them, the tingling in my body.
“Did you…” Caden pauses, rubbing his forehead as if searching for the right words. “Did you feel anything as you watched?” he finally asks.
What’s with the questions? Is he trying to find out if our visit together to the East End somehow led me astray from the path of virtue? Is that what he wants?
I shake my head, already reaching for the door handle.
“No, that’s crazy. Why would I? I didn’t feel anything. Because there was nothing to feel.”
I’ve probably protested too much, I realize. Caden tilts his head and looks at me, considering.
“Go get your stuff,” he finally says. “We’ll talk more afterward.”
I don’t want to talk to him. Especially not about how watching the couple sin made me feel. It’s none of his business. Still, I nod reluctantly and step out of the limo.
I see Mrs. Hughes standing by the window, watering her plants. The poor things are probably drowning by now. I give her a friendly wave, as if her watching me doesn’t bother me in the slightest. At least she has enough decency to look embarrassed.
I unlock the door as fast as I can and cross the hallway before she can even make it to the stairs. As I’m closing the apartment door behind me, Ava is coming toward me, a cup of tea in her hand and a dress she was working on a minute ago over her arm.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask her, frowning.
I wasn’t prepared to run into her. She’ll know something’s happened just by looking at me.
My roommate grimaces.
“Good morning to you, too. I’m starting an hour later today. How was Lady Rose’s?”
Lady Rose is my foster mother. She’s far from a lady, but she insists on being called by that name. Ava and I have made fun of it often enough, but today my roommate doesn’t seem to be in a joking mood. She’s looking at me with serious eyes.
“She sends her regards,” I murmur evasively.
“Oh yeah?”
Ava saunters over to the kitchen counter and sets her teacup down.
“Nice skirt,” she comments without turning back to me. “Did you get it from Lady Rose?”
We both know my foster mother would never give me such an expensive gift. Unsure what to say, I stroke the precious fabric.
“No.”
I can’t think of what to say. The truth? But it’s better if Ava knows as little as possible about this thing I’ve suddenly found myself involved in.
While I’m still searching for a believable excuse, Ava looks up at me sharply.
“The skirt’s from that Caden Nox guy, isn’t it? He’s trying to seduce you. Is that where you’ve been the last few days? With him?”
“No! What do you take me for?”
I don’t have to pretend to be outraged. Does Ava really think I’d be with that sin mage and indulge in lust? Does she think I’m that foolish? I went to the East End with Caden, but I had my reasons. And I would never spend my nights with him.
Ava shrugs.
“Sorry, it’s just… I know you weren’t at Lady Rose’s. She called here, and when I asked her about you, she said she hasn’t heard from you in weeks.”
Damn it! So much for my alibi.
Feeling guilty, I bite my lower lip.
“I want to tell you, but…”
Ava’s eyes grow wide.
“Is it related to the palace? Has the princess sworn you to secrecy?”
I nod. What else can I do? It’s the simplest explanation for all this.
“It looks like I’ll have to spend a few more days at the palace,” I reply, barely daring to look Ava in the eye for fear she’ll spot the lie in mine.
“So you’re on a secret mission then? How exciting! And you get to live in the palace and wear all these great clothes. I wish I could trade places with you.”
Ava sighs wistfully. Her suspicion has given way to an excited grin. If only I could be as happy about this as she is. But there’s still the king to think of, who could catch on to my sins, as well as Caden’s enemies who could ambush me at any moment.
“I need to pack a few things,” I say, smiling in apology.
Ava carelessly tosses the dress she was holding onto the sofa, almost hitting a mewing Tinkerbell.
“I’ll help you.”
When I step out of the house an hour later, Caden’s limo is still parked outside our door. Ava has already left for work, and I’m loaded down with two heavy bags. Caden’s chauffeur gets out and takes the bags from me without comment, stowing them in the trunk. I open the door to the limo and find Caden lounging in the backseat with a glass of golden brown liquid in his hand, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles.
“What took you so long? I thought people like you only owned the sad rags on their backs.”
I drop into the seat next to him with a snort.
“You wanted to talk, so talk! And in the meantime, you can drive me to the palace.”
I don’t know where I get the courage to speak to the sin mage like that, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. The corners of his mouth twitch in amusement.
“First you must tell me what the hell you packed in those suitcases.”
I groan in frustration. “A few clothes, a couple of books, some old pictures. Just what you would usually take with you after you’ve been stupid enough to walk around the East End with Virtue’s most notorious sin mage and are now hunted by his enemies.”
“Notorious, huh? Shouldn’t you be a little more afraid of me then?”
“I think it’s a little late for that.”
Caden nods thoughtfully. “You might be right about that, love.”
We lapse into silence as the limousine begins to move. The morning traffic slows our progress. Caden keeps sipping his drink. He seems lost in thought. The fact that he doesn’t question me again makes me uneasy.
“How long will I have to hide in the palace?” I ask, eyeing him from the side.
I didn’t notice it before, but he looks tired. As if he hasn’t gotten much sleep the last few nights.
Caden scowls at me over the rim of his glass.
“A long time.”
“But I have a job to go to. And my roommate, my foster mom, Tinkerbell—they all need me.”
Caden snorts in amusement. “Tinkerbell?”
“My cat,” I admit meekly.
How pathetic that I have to resort to mentioning her. The truth is, Ava doesn’t need me. And Lady Rose will only miss the weekly lectures she gives me on the phone. Our relationship has never been the best. I was the last of seven children to be placed with her, and by then she was already too old for young children and had grown tired of us.
“You’re taking away my life,” I insist, though I silently wonder if there’s all that much to take away.
Caden drops his head against the back of the seat. The liquid in his glass sloshes back and forth.
“I wasn’t the one who went to a strip club with two sin mages to have an orgy, love.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I hiss.
The images of that evening reappear in my mind’s eye. The girls dancing. Jared feeding me a strawberry. Amy licking the chocolate sauce off her lips. I shudder.
Caden’s side-eyeing me intently. Then he downs the rest of his drink.
“My enemies coming after you is the least of your problems.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, irritated. A horde of vengeful sin mages seems like enough trouble for a lifetime.
“You felt something,” Caden says. “When the couple sinned, you could feel their passion, am I right?”
“Nonsense!”
I press my lips together and stare out the window so I don’t have to look at Caden anymore. The district we’re driving through is unfamiliar to me. I see a lot more green, and the houses look bigger and older than what I’m used to seeing. They have little in common with the tightly packed row houses in downtown Virtue.
“We’re not going back to the palace,” I state in a flat tone.
Caden nods. “Smart girl.”
Was this a trap? I shouldn’t have just gotten in the car with him. He’s a sin mage, for crying out loud. And just because he saved me from that strip club doesn’t mean I can trust him.
My gaze goes to the door. I consider yanking it open, but jumping out of a moving car is probably not a good idea. That kind of thing only works in books.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask and can’t stop a spark of panic from rising and settling in my throat, making my voice tremble.
The corners of Caden’s mouth twitch with anticipation.
“To my house.”