Chapter Nineteen
Just one more thing. That’s all that is needed of me, Caden promised. One performance that will show all the sin mages in the East End who’s in charge and make sure no one ever touches a hair on my head again. I want to trust him, but his plan doesn’t make it easy for me. Not as long as it involves me wearing this horrible black silk dress with the golden snake slithering across the back.
We are standing in the great hall of the Asmodia. Normally the girls sit here and wait for their suitors. There is a bar and several sitting areas, a large fireplace, and a bookcase made of dark wood that takes up an entire side of the room. Luxurious chandeliers hang from the ceiling.
I stand next to Caden on a little stage at the head of the room. A golden tiara sparkles in my dark brown hair. But this time it wasn’t put there to mock me. Instead, it shows everyone who I am: Princess of the Empire by day, Queen of the Underworld by night. With Caden as king at my side. It’s a title I hate to wear, but Caden has assured me it’ll save my life.
Slowly, the hall is filling up. I furtively look at the faces in the assembled crowd. The red lips and the golden powdered cheeks of the ladies, the roaming gazes of the gentlemen. Some of them were in the strip club last night, laughing and applauding as they pushed me around. As their hands slid over my body and the alcohol from their glasses wet my lips.
But that’s over now.
I clench my hands into fists. No one will push me around anymore. No one will force me in a direction I don’t want to go.
Caden moves a little closer, as if he knows how much I need him near me for this. I’m a lion cub among hyenas. Seemingly helpless, I’m going to have to prove to them today that I’m anything but. And my scandalous attire is just the beginning.
In his top hat and black tailcoat, holding a walking stick that has a pommel in the shape of a golden snake with its mouth wide open, Caden looks as elegant as I do. Only he wears his outfit with a self-assured arrogance, while I feel like a dressed-up impostor.
Rey and Choi stand next to the stage. The chauffeur is looking at her fingernails, seemingly bored, while Choi scrutinizes everyone present.
We’re waiting for the last guests to arrive. Caden has invited the most powerful sin mages in East Virtue to the Asmodia. I already count close to fifty people. Onlookers, and others who didn’t dare turn down Caden’s invitation.
Jared is the last to stroll through the doors. He’s still wearing the sequined top hat from the previous night. His burgundy suit is wrinkled, like he slept in it. Presumably Syrus and he drank all night celebrating their victory before noticing our escape.
Jared is accompanied by Syrus and three other men I recognize from the night before. They were the ones who beat up Caden at the Crime and Punishment . Jared still seems very sure of himself. A smirk spreads across his face when his gaze lands on me.
“Hello, Princess,” he greets me effusively.
I don’t reply, instead I merely raise my eyebrows as I’ve observed Caden do countless times. Hopefully it comes off as arrogant as I’m hoping it does.
Jared winks at me, unimpressed. Then he turns to Caden.
“I see you made it through our meeting yesterday. Care for another round?”
He wiggles his eyebrows like it’s all in good fun, and maybe it is, for him.
Syrus looks noticeably more nervous. He has his tattooed arms crossed in front of his chest and looks back and forth between Caden and me.
“We’ll see, Jared,” Caden says in a deadly calm voice.
I can’t detect the slightest sign of tension in him. He has perfected his role as King of the Underworld. Looking at him, there’s no sign of that little boy who grew up in the West End and had to endure so much horror. But I know there’s more to him than that cold mask lets on.
By now, everyone has taken a seat. Only Jared remains standing, his smug gaze fixed on Caden and me, as if he’s waiting to step onstage and deliver an inflammatory speech. He’s making me nervous. Terribly nervous. My hands are sweaty, and I wipe them inconspicuously on the fabric of my dress.
Caden taps the floor twice with his walking stick. The sound is not very loud, but the murmur in the hall dies down instantly. All heads turn to us. I see curiosity reflected in the faces, as well as suspicion and also some mockery.
“My dear friends.” Caden’s gray-blue eyes sparkle icily, telling me that outside of these four walls, he probably wouldn’t call any of our guests his friend. “I suppose by now you have all heard about the events that took place last night at the Crime and Punishment.”
Confirming murmurs. An old man shakes his head indignantly. He doesn’t seem to approve of the incident. A few feet away a woman hides her gleeful laughter behind a fit of coughing. Caden isn’t deterred by any of it.
“Don’t worry. You aren’t here today because I intend to lecture you. I am not a preacher who wants to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong.”
Jared snorts snidely, drawing attention to himself.
“Oh, no? But you’re so good at telling the rest of us what we’re doing wrong, Nox.”
Cautious snickering in the back rows. Jared steps forward as if to take the floor, but Caden stops him with a single look.
“No one messes with me or my people,” he continues. “I asked you here today to show you the consequences of doing so.”
Caden’s arm wraps possessively around my waist, his hand just millimeters from the bare skin of my back. Suddenly, I’m having trouble following his words. All I can focus on is his hand on my hip. He must be able to taste my desire; probably everyone in the room can. Abashed, I briefly stare at a spot at my feet, before thinking better of it.
Show no weakness. You’re in a room full of predators, and you will not be their prey, Kaya. Tonight, you’re the hunter.
I twist my lips into a lazy grin and press closer to Caden, as if his touch, and what it triggers in me, is something totally natural. The corner of Caden’s mouth twitches. He seems to enjoy my little spectacle. His voice takes on a snake-like quality.
“Jared, I suppose you believed yourself to be untouchable.”
Jared laughs smugly. “You think these people are on your side, Caden? You think they won’t come to my aid when your lackeys try to—”
“My lackeys won’t try anything,” Caden impatiently cuts Jared off. “As you know, I abhor violence. I prefer to use this.”
He taps his temple, which Jared acknowledges with an eye roll.
“Oh, please! What has your clever little mind cooked up now? What do you think you’re going to do to me, Caden?”
I’d never admit it out loud, but I’m somewhat enjoying how Jared falls right into our trap. He deserves it.
Caden throws me a quick grin, then lets the trap snap shut.
“My clever little mind, as you call it, has been gathering information. About all of you.” His gaze sweeps over everyone present. “I know where you go, who you meet, what crooked deals you make, and who your clients are. In your case, Jared, I have a long list of names of people who have been frequenting the Crime and Punishment . And that same list went out to the Royal Guard a few hours ago, who I’m guessing is arresting every single sinner listed as we speak. I suppose you might have some trouble finding new patrons for your shabby little establishment once this gets out.”
Murmurs fill the room. People are getting restless and start putting their heads together. Jared’s face has gone white as a sheet.
“You didn’t! You wouldn’t!” He’s shaking his head as if he can’t believe it. His hand balls into a fist, and pure anger contorts his features as he looks up at Caden. “Tell me you didn’t do it, you dishonorable bastard!”
He starts toward the stage as if to go after Caden right then and there, but Choi steps up and holds him back. He’s struggling to keep his grip on Jared as the sin mage kicks and squirms in his arms, cussing savagely at Caden the whole time. The top hat falls off his head and rolls across the floor.
“Syrus, help me!” Jared barks.
But Caden’s threat has not missed its mark. No one wants to be turned in to the Royal Guard. I’m betting they all have little secrets they would rather not have come to light.
Caden tilts his head and looks down at Jared with obvious pity. By now, Choi has Jared’s hands restrained behind his back.
“You know, Jared, I almost feel sorry for you. I know I said I abhor violence. But I’m afraid that can’t be said about the woman standing next to me.”
I take a deep breath. Now comes my part in tonight’s performance, and I don’t know if I’m ready to go through with it.
Think about everything Jared did to you, I remind myself.
My hand trembles a little as I reach for the bowl of strawberries on the small table next to me. I take a plump, red piece of fruit and turn it in my fingers. All the while, I’m aware of fifty pairs of curious eyes resting on me as I leisurely strut over to Jared on my gold pumps.
Caden and I have practiced this—every single one of my steps, every gesture. You can’t make any mistakes, he warned me. These people don’t forgive any show of weakness.
And so I throw my head back, laughing, and pretend to enjoy the spotlight.
Jared stops squirming and eyes me suspiciously. “What is this?”
I slowly run the tip of the strawberry over my bottom lip.
“Remember the first time we met, Jared? You couldn’t get enough of this. I wonder if that’s still the case.”
Inside, I’m shaking. It takes all my courage to step off the stage and take the last few steps before stopping in front of Jared. Choi has wrestled him to his knees in the meantime. He forces him to open his mouth and gives me an imperceptible nod.
I can’t do this.
Everything in me revolts against starting the final act of this cruel play. It feels like I’m crossing a line, and there’s no turning back after this.
Yes, you can do it. You can and you will. He deserves it. Think about Ava. She’d still be alive if he hadn’t…
I stuff the strawberry into Jared’s mouth. He lets out a gagging sound as Choi forces him to close his lips. Red juice runs down Jared’s chin and he swallows.
“You bitch!” he chokes out.
His eyes are wide with horror. This is how I must have looked when he did the same thing to me back in the Crime and Punishment.
The thought incites my anger. I taste the sweetness of the strawberry on my tongue, find the thread that amplifies Jared’s desire for more, and roughly tug on it. Jared groans as I saunter back to the bowl of strawberries.
“You want another one?” I ask sweetly.
Jared nods eagerly.
I have a firm grip on his mind now. It’s a heady feeling that prickles through my veins. It’s intoxicating. I’m beginning to understand why sin mages feed on others even though they don’t need to. It’s the power they crave. The certainty of bringing another person completely under their control.
“Kneel before your queen!” I command.
Choi lets go of Jared, who crawls over to me on his knees.
“Lower!”
Jared’s forehead touches the ground at my feet. The crowd laughs uncomfortably. No one stops me, no one rushes to his aid. I probably have Caden’s threat to thank for that. I toss Jared a strawberry, like I would a treat to a dog, and he shoves it greedily into his mouth. Saliva drips from his lips.
“You want more?” I ask.
What comes out of Jared’s throat sounds like an actual whimper.
That’s disgusting. I’m disgusting.
For a moment, it’s as if I’m outside of my body, looking down at the scene. I see myself towering over Jared like a mistress before her slave, I see the cold look in my eyes, my mouth twisted from anger and disgust, and I recoil from myself.
From what I am.
From what I’m doing.
He had it coming. He deserves this. And more.
“Lick Caden’s boots clean!” I hiss at Jared.
The laughter grows louder. Caden raises his eyebrows in surprise, but doesn’t interfere. This is my show, and I will do whatever I please with Jared. He’s a puppet. My puppet.
So much power …
My gaze goes to Syrus, who looks upon his friend in disgust as Jared eagerly licks at Caden’s boots. He was the one who killed Ava. He doesn’t deserve to stand there on the sidelines like an innocent bystander.
“Hey, Jared,” I say in a coaxing voice, holding out a strawberry to him.
He eagerly jumps to his feet and comes running. His look is that of a crazed man. I feed him the red fruit, trying not to touch him in the process.
Then I lean forward and whisper in his ear, “Kill Syrus!”
It’s not me talking. I know it the moment the words leave my lips. It’s the feeling of unchecked power. It’s doing something to me. It creeps into my body and spreads through my thoughts, constantly whispering.
Still, I watch as Jared dashes toward his friend like a dog trying to fetch a stick. I laugh at the strange sight, though I suddenly feel nauseous. My stomach clenches, but I ignore the feeling.
The show must go on.
As Jared’s hands wrap around Syrus’ neck, I hear startled cries. The sin mages jump up from their seats. Some push forward to get a better look at what’s happening, others flee the hall with fear in their eyes. Good. Let them be afraid. Perhaps I’ll decide that they’re next.
Caden leaves the stage and comes to stand next to me.
“I think that’s enough,” he says quietly. “You’ve proven what you came here to prove. Let go of the thread.”
Is it enough though?
I think of the crowd laughing at me and pushing me around, of Caden getting beat up by Jared’s henchmen, of Ava …
And I know it will never be enough.
Syrus has to die.
I want him to die.
I tighten the thread until it feels like it could snap. Jared has overpowered his friend. He’s straddling him and has his hands around his neck, thumbs pressed to his larynx. Syrus is actually the stronger of the two, but madness drives Jared. He’ll kill Syrus because I ordered him to. All for a single strawberry.
Syrus flails around, but his movements begin to grow weak. They are the movements of a dying man. A pitiful gurgling sound escapes his throat.
“Do something!” someone shouts.
Choi looks over at me pleadingly. Rey looks like she wants to lunge at the two men to pull them apart, but she hesitates. Maybe because then she’d have to publicly admit that this wasn’t part of the plan. My part should have been over by now. I was supposed to humiliate Jared a little. Prove to him and everyone else that I’m not a helpless victim.
Oh, no, I’m not a victim.
I hold the threads. I hold Syrus’ life in my hand, and I can snuff it out with a single command.
“Kill him!”
Caden grabs me by the shoulders and yanks me around to face him. I think I see something like panic in his gaze.
Is the King of the Underworld afraid?
Of me?
“Stop it, Kaya! Let him go!” he begs.
“No.”
I look down at Syrus, at his writhing body. He will get what he deserves.
“Look at me! This isn’t you.”
Caden cups my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. I see him as if from a great distance. His gray-blue thundercloud eyes, his high cheekbones, his full lips.
“Come on, Kaya, you’re better than this,” he whispers. “Let him go.”
He pulls me to him. His lips on mine, stifling any protest. There’s a desperate passion in Caden’s kiss. It confuses me so much that for a moment I’m distracted. Jared’s thread slips away from me, and with it goes the feeling of power. All at once, it leaves my body, and my head falls against Caden’s shoulder. It feels like I’ve completely spent myself. The world around me sways slightly.
What have I done? By all the seven virtues, what have I done?
Caden takes a step back and pushes me to stand behind him so no one notices my trembling. I’m observing everything through a veil. Overturned chairs. Anxious faces. Someone is crying.
This is my fault.
I caused this.
“Let that be a lesson to you,” Caden says in a loud and unyielding voice. He’s now back to wearing the cold mask he always hides behind. “No one messes with me or my people.”
He leads me out of the room. Away from Jared, who’s slumped on the floor, making no sound. Next to Syrus, who’s gasping for breath.
Rey and Choi follow us, trying to shield us from the angry crowd. Tears well up in my eyes, but I carelessly wipe them aside. I humiliated someone. I almost made Jared kill another human being.
“Shh… It’s all right. It’s over,” Caden’s speaking to me softly, reassuringly, as we take the winding staircase up to our room. “It’s all over now.”
But I don’t believe a word he says. This nightmare will never be over. Because now I’m no longer afraid of what’s waiting for me out there.
I’m afraid of the monster inside me.