Chapter 31 #2
The gargoyles finally started to integrate, not forming their own little clusters, but adding to those already established. They’d learn the ropes before forming their own. Smart. It’s what John would’ve done.
He let out a breath. “I swore I would never be in a pack again.”
“Then don’t be.”
“Except my sisters are in danger. Kingsley Barazza is a strong alpha leading a strong pack. Aurora told me what they were up against. My sisters have a larger pack, but it clearly isn’t the size or even the force that is the issue. It’s the mage magic. And they don’t have any.”
“But we do. That’s the point. If they were in danger, we would help.”
He huffed and studied his feet for a moment. “Shifters usually rely on family and pack friends for aid. We stick with what we know. We don’t trust strangers.”
“Yeah, I think Austin wanted to do that in the beginning. Or told Jessie it was his first inclination? Something like that. Obviously, he came to his senses.”
“And you’re saying I should come to my senses?” he growled.
She laughed in delight. “If the shoe fits, Mr. Island.”
It was very hard to take oneself too seriously around her.
He continued to study his feet. “It floors me. Jessie, a Jane, and Austin, someone the alpha community ridicules, would drag their team and all manner of creatures—“ He shook his head and looked at her. “You would go to a complete stranger’s aid, putting your life in danger, at the drop of a hat?”
“Well…that is the point of the convocation. And in return, those shifters would hopefully help us if we needed it. Or others if they needed it. To beat the mages, it’ll take a village. Surely you know the value of unity?”
He did, more than most. A unified pack was a strong pack. He wouldn’t have been able to hold the line if his father hadn’t been an impeccable alpha before him.
The problem was, it was hard to unify a lot of people and keep everyone content and peaceful.
It was hard to keep a growing pack healthy and happy if that pack also had some powerful players, and enforcers had to be powerful.
Only the best alphas managed. He’d been one. His sisters were. Kingsley Barazza.
He looked skyward at the gargoyles, their positions shifting and changing, synchronized despite the newcomers. They worked in their groups and helped the newcomers fit into the whole.
Wasn’t that what Austin and Jessie had created with this convocation?
They weren’t asking everyone to be one pack or one cairn.
They were asking the pack and cairn leaders to lead their people while fitting into the whole.
Jessie and Austin were using their people as a hub to help the others integrate when needed.
John sniffed, shaking his head. The little Barazza boy had allowed a Jane and her magical house to open his mind, and in so doing, expand his horizons.
He let her show him the way, having created her own hub, and he was attaching his people to hers to help fortify it.
He had the training, and she had that special something that could not be taught.
That John didn’t himself have—he’d had to use violence to keep his people peaceful.
The whole thing was so incredibly complex… and somehow seemed so simple.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever been humbled in my lifetime,” he admitted, because even though Nessa probably didn’t remember, she’d admitted a vulnerable truth in his presence.
For her, at least. She’d done the right thing in protecting her family.
So even though she probably wouldn’t think this was a big deal, this was a vulnerability for him. It would make them even.
“I have always been the king of the mountain, but I feel utterly insignificant in this moment. Austin and Jessie have taken their setup to the next level. To a place I would never even think to go. It wouldn’t make sense, all this, without seeing it.
Maybe without my living in it. If still in my former position, I’m honestly not sure if I would’ve joined the convocation.
I’d probably resist, like many others will.
Or I’d try to take the lead, thinking I would be better. ”
He clenched his jaw and then laughed.
“I wouldn’t be enough.” He laughed again.
“I must admit for the first time in my entire life that I would not be enough. If I took control of this thing, it would all come crashing down.” He turned his head a little to glance at her out of the corner of his eye.
“I’ve built a reputation on the opposite.
I’ve upheld that image through some very rough times. ”
“I get it about building a reputation, upholding the image despite the warnings, and then needing a big alpha gargoyle to track you down in the middle of the night when you have your hands tied behind your back, and a bag over your head, to fly you to safety.” She nodded at him, her eyes serious and laughing at the same time.
“Yeah. That’s what hanging on our laurels gets us in this new world. ”
She shrugged it away, so easy and light and carefree while also dangerous and cunning and intelligent. John could see why Tristan was in rapture.
“Look, Sir Ego, Austin couldn’t do this on his own, either.
Ask him. He’ll tell you point blank. Jessie couldn’t, and she wouldn’t want to.
As a team? Yes. Together, they make magic.
Rather than comparing yourself, maybe ask why you care?
And if it’s for any decent reason, like the safety of your sisters, then maybe ask what you could bring to the table.
” She grinned without looking at him. “Sounds like you have a bunch of sway with that Ol’ Image you’ve worked so hard for.
Austin doesn’t have that, and he probably needs it.
Maybe that will take the bite out of the humble pie? ”
He grinned, back to shaking his head. “You seem to have a talent for managing big personalities. If anyone had spoken to me like that back in the day…”
“And yet you’re about to laugh.”
“Somehow.”
“Hmm,” she answered noncommittally. “Sometimes it’s nicer not to take things so horribly seriously.”
Wasn’t that the truth. He needed to go hang out with Fred again. Even when she was serious, it was hilarious.
He shoved all this from his mind. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He wanted to disappear again and walk away from the troubles and complexities of magical life. Same as Jessie wanted to do, really. That’s what Ulric had said. Aurora had verified. Same as Austin, apparently.
Except they weren’t doing that, were they? They were stepping up and shouldering the danger.
And you chose, and choose, to be a hero.
“Okay. Now they’re rolling,” Nessa said, thankfully pulling him from his swirling thoughts. She finished what was in her mug.
He watched her out of the corner of his eye, his curiosity getting the better of him. “You must’ve made it home all right last night.”
Red infused her cheeks, and a shy little smile curled her lips. She half hid behind her mug, delighted with whatever had happened.
“I did, yes. Thank you for asking. Tristan had it covered.”
He nodded, needing to let it go. There was no reason to get involved in her—or Tristan’s—private life.
Yet…no one had mentioned which option Tristan had chosen. John was too curious for his own good.
“You guys are mates, right?” he hazarded.
She tensed. “No. I just keep away the swarms of women that follow him around so he can focus on his job—helping Jessie and getting things done, you know.”
“Ah. In other words, you woke up in your boots.” He chuckled for show.
“That’s not Tristan’s style,” she said softly, and her body turned languid with desire and something else he couldn’t put his finger on.
“He puts on the gruff, ‘I’m an island’ persona, but in the end, I think he’s a caretaker.
He put me in my fluffiest pajamas and tucked me into my bed, where I apparently snored so loudly that Sabby thought about smothering me in my sleep. ”
John huffed out a laugh. So, Tristan had chosen the girl over the games. Good man.
“You need a guy like that guarding someone like Jessie, it sounds like,” he replied noncommittally. His curiosity had been sated. Time to move on.
She was silent, and he glanced at her. A sad expression flitted across her face and evaporated in a heartbeat as though it had never been there. She smiled at him, a disarming sort of expression to hide whatever she’d just been feeling.
“Jessie, yeah. She needs it.”
He got the feeling she didn’t want to talk about this anymore. And also, that her heart was hurting. He remembered what she’d said last night.
I’m scared.
He swallowed, turning his face away again. But something kept trying to tug his focus back. He wanted to console her. Maybe comfort her. Hell, he wanted to help her. He just didn’t know how.
Maybe he wanted to help himself, and didn’t know how to do that, either.
He hadn’t been able to take a mate when he was fighting to keep his pack, and by the time he could’ve, he didn’t have anything left to give.
He had a feeling Nessa had some parallels, certainly the same scarring.
She seemed to have the same fear that life would never get better and good things were just a mirage. An angel with a broken wing.
Before he could think what to do or say, or maybe just throw himself off the cliff to get away from the awkward situation he’d created, a shock of magic ripped his focus toward the sky.
“Now you will see what gargoyles can really do,” Nessa said.