Chapter 5
Hannah
“Still nothing?”
This is like the tenth time that Jess has asked, and it’s starting to get on my nerves. I know she doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s really, really pissing me off because I don’t have an answer for her.
I take in a deep breath and exhale.
“I’m sure he’s just busy.”
Except Brooks always texts me, even if he’s busy.
For the past two months, we’ve texted or called nearly every day, even when he was so tired that he just sat there and listened to me talk about my day.
So, yeah, I’m worried, but I don’t want Jess to know.
“When’s the last time you heard from him?”
I look at our text thread. “Two days ago, when he said he had just landed in Denver.”
The plan was that he was going to take care of some business in Denver before hopping on a plane to see me. He said there was something he wanted to talk to me about. Something that would change our lives as a couple. Something that would require him meeting my dad…
I’ve tried not to jump to conclusions, but this feels like we’re about to get serious. Maybe even marriage serious. It’s crazy, but I’m ready for anything he has to throw at me.
But I haven’t heard from him since he made it to his house, and I am worried.
What if something happened to him?
“Should I call him?”
Jess gives me a sympathetic look. “Maybe.”
“I don’t want to bother him. He’s probably sleeping.”
Filming the movie was more work than he expected, and he’s told me more than once he felt like he could sleep for a week when he got home.
Jess asks, “Did I show you that meme I saw online about him? The one claiming he’s in a secret society?”
“No. Let me see.”
She scrolls on her phone before handing it to me. It’s a photo of Brooks with a black hood photoshopped over his head. The caption says something about a secret society that controls the world and claims that Brooks is the spokesperson for them.
I laugh. “Jeez. People will say or think of anything.”
“Right? It’s bananas. Now, let’s go watch some TV before my man gets home.”
Jess and Matt have been dating on and off, but took things to the next level. So she moved into Matt’s apartment. Peter wasn’t too happy when he found out that his best friend and little sister were an item but has since gotten over it. They still get to hang out, even when it annoys Jess. But things are going to change soon, because Peter enlisted in the Army and is leaving for the Basic Officer Leader Course next month. Because of his college degree, he’s entering the military as an officer. Pretty impressive for the guy who used to eat glue.
We go from the kitchen to the living room. Jess sits on the couch, turning on her favorite celebrity gossip show. Jess lives for this show and rarely misses an episode. It comes in handy when we play trivia at a local pizza place, though.
Jess turns up the volume, and I cringe.
“I’m going to grab a soda. Do you want one?”
I’ve been feeling icky, and today is no exception. The only thing that makes me feel better is Ginger Ale or Sprite. Luckily, Jess has both.
She doesn’t even look up from the TV. “Yes please.”
I’m in the kitchen grabbing our drinks when I hear her gasp.
“Let me guess. The football player proposed to the pop star?”
“Hannah! Brooks is on TV!”
“What?”
Leaving the cans in the kitchen, I run to the living room. Sure enough, a video of Brooks is playing. He’s walking through an airport, a brunette at his side. He’s pulling two piece of luggage behind him. One is his. The other is bright pink.
“Brooks, can you tell us why you and your wife reconciled?”
“No comment.”
The woman next to him smiles. “We’re expecting.”
Icy daggers stab at my chest as my brain tries to process what’s happening. His wife? He said he was divorced! And they’re expecting? Horror fills me. That means he was with her while he was with me!
“Hannah?” Jess’ voice sounds far away, like she’s in a tunnel. Or maybe I’m the one in the tunnel. I can’t be sure.
Brooks leads the woman to a waiting SUV, where she climbs in first. He closes her door and rounds the SUV, getting in on the other side. The video ends and the TV host steps into the frame, smiling.
“We reached out to McGruff’s team, and they confirmed that Brooks and his wife, Liza, have withdrawn their petition for divorce. If what Liza said is true, then we wish the couple all the best.” He turns to look at a different camera. “Now, onto…”
A loud ringing fills my ears.
No.
No, it can’t be true!
Brooks wouldn’t do that to me.
He wouldn’t!
Jess says, “I’m sorry, Han.”
“I need to go.”
She looks worried as she asks, “Are you sure you should drive right now? You’re upset…”
“I’ll be fine. Promise.”
I’m anything but fine. My entire world is crashing down around me. Of course I’m not fine!
She says, “Text me when you get to the dorm.”
I nod, trying to keep it together as I rush from her apartment, all but tripping down the stairs.
This is just some kind of mistake. A reporter who got the facts wrong. Brooks isn’t married. He told me so. Why would he lie? A sob bubbles its way up my throat, but I refuse to let it out.
I’m dialing Brooks before I reach my car.
“Come on,” I pray. “Answer.”
My eyes sting and I swipe at the tears that are falling.
“Hello?”
“Brooks!”
“This is Brooks. I can’t get to my phone right now, so leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
I curse. I’ve always hated his voicemail, now more so than ever. The phone beeps, and I have to swallow twice before I can speak.
“It’s Hannah. Please call me as soon as you get this.”
My voice breaks on the last word, and I end the call before he can hear me crying.
I glance at Jess’ apartment and see her shadow in the window. Crap! I need to get out of here before she convinces me to stay. Nothing is going to be right until I talk to Brooks, and I don’t want to hear any speculation from Jess in the meantime. God knows my mind is jumping to enough conclusions on its own.
Wiping my tears, I start my car and drive across town to the dorm.
Each moment that passes is torture.
I’m distracted, looking at my phone as if that will make him call.
Why hasn’t he called?
If this is a mistake, then surely he knows that I’ll hear him out.
Right?
I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise when a horn blares, making me gasp as I look up.
The last thing I see are headlights coming right at me and then the crunching sound of metal.
There’s pain, and then there’s nothing.
Everything hurts.
That’s what wakes me—the pain.
I have to blink several times before I get my eyes to focus. White walls and the sterile scent only found in a hospital confirm my thoughts. I’m in the hospital. Memories of what happened come crashing back. Crashing. Ha. Isn’t my brain just hilarious right now?
The TV segment about Brooks…and his wife.
Leaving Jess’ house.
Waiting for Brooks to call…
Crashing into the truck.
“You’re awake.” My mom stands. “Thank god. We’ve been so worried. Your father is getting me some coffee.”
He’s not my father.The words almost leave my lips, but don’t. I’m too tired to fight that fight today, but I do wonder if she let my actual dad know that I was in an accident. Probably not, which means I’ll need to let him know.
I ask, “How bad is it?”
“The car’s totaled. You’re going to have to rely on classmates until you can find a replacement.”
Of course she expects me to find something. It’s not like she’ll help me. She never has. Heck, I’m surprised she’s even here, to be honest. We must be at the hospital she works at. It’s the only thing that makes sense why she’s here.
“That’s fair,” I answer. “It was my fault.”
“What happened? The other driver said you were looking down when you crossed into his lane.”
My cheeks are warm, which is a shocking contrast to the icy coldness I feel everywhere else.
“I was looking at my phone,” I admit.
“Hannah.”
It’s strange how one word said by your parent can make you feel worse than if they had yelled or screamed.
My eyes water. “Like I said, it was my fault. I’ll figure something out with the car.”
She’s silent for a moment.
“Is it because of a boy?”
Yes.“No.”
I don’t know why I lie. Maybe it’s because I know where this conversation is going to go if I admit that it was because of a guy.
“Is the other person okay?”
“He was fine, thank god. Barely a scratch.”
I exhale. She’s right. Thank god for that.
My stepdad enters, carrying a cup of coffee. His gaze narrows when he sees that I’m awake.
“Hannah, you are very lucky that your carelessness hurt no one.”
He uses the same tone of voice that he uses in his sermons. The one that strikes the fear of god into some.
He hands Mom her coffee before crossing his arms, waiting for me to answer.
“I’m sorry, sir.”
I sit, which causes me to wince, but I need to level the playing field with the Pastor, and I can’t do that laying down.
Mom notices my pain and says, “You broke three ribs and your left wrist, all likely because of the airbag deploying. You also have a gash on your forehead, which required stitches. Luckily, there was a plastic surgeon on call tonight, so you shouldn’t have a scar.”
I’m sure the fact that Mom is an administrator for the hospital has nothing to do with the plastic surgeon being available. God knows Mom and the Pastor won’t settle for anyone in their family looking out of place, even if it is me.
“How long do I have to stay?”
“They’re keeping you overnight so they can monitor you. You have a minor concussion.”
“Well, that explains the throbbing behind my eyes.”
My stepdad says, “You’re not getting pain medicine, young lady.”
I could point out that I didn’t ask for shit. My head throbs, making it hard to focus for a moment.
Ignoring him, I ask my mom, “Did my bag make it?”
“What you’re really asking is if your phone made it.” She purses her lips together. “I think you should rest tonight.”
In other words, I’m not getting my phone.
Biting back a moan, I lean back and close my eyes. Maybe it’s for the best. As much as I want to believe the segment on Brooks was a mistake, there’s a heavy feeling that’s settled deep in my stomach that warns me to be prepared for anything. Luckily, the nurse arrives a few moments later with a pain injection. She ignores the Pastor, who says I don’t need it, and winks at me as she injects it into my IV line. Within five minutes, I close my eyes and slip into a restless sleep with dreams filled with Brooks.
The next morning I’m discharged from the hospital bright and early. But not before the doctor stops by to speak to me. The news he gives me is shocking.
“Does my mom know?”
“Since you’re an adult, your records are private. And we take HIPPA very seriously around here.”
I exhale. Thank god.
“Thank you.”
Mom arrives moments later, and I send up another silent prayer of thanks that she didn’t come sooner. There’s no way she’d let the doctor leave without talking to him, and I know for a fact that many people at the hospital view her as some kind of god. HIPPA might not mean crap in a scenario like that, despite what the doctor said to me.
“Let’s go. Jeremiah is waiting.”
Heaven forbid we keep the Pastor waiting.
Both Mom and my stepdad insist that I come home with them, at least for the weekend, so I find myself in my childhood bedroom. Pastor Sullivan gets out of there as soon as he can, claiming he needs to work on his sermon, but my mom stays, her arms crossed.
“Here’s your phone.” She holds it out but pulls it back when I reach for it. “I’m going to ask again. Were you distracted because of a boy?”
“What difference does it make?”
She sighs. “Because you’re better than that.”
“Better than falling in love?”
“So it was a boy.”
“It doesn’t matter, Mom.”
Her eyes light up with malicious understanding. “Something happened? That’s why you were distracted while driving. He broke up with you?”
“Something like that.”
“Hannah, I don’t like to see you hurting, but maybe this is for the best. You don’t need any distractions. You need to focus on your studies so you can get into the Master’s program.”
I bite back a groan. This is not a conversation that I want to have. It’s something we need to talk about. And soon. But, for the love of god, not today.
I say, “Maybe you’re right.”
My answer must satisfy her because she hands me my phone. I set it on the bed next to me and close my eyes. I feel her presence a moment longer before the door closes behind her.
Opening my eyes, I stare at my phone.
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to look, but I see there are several messages and missed calls.
My heart pounds.
What if Brooks called?
Am I ready to hear what he has to say?
Entering my code, I unlock the screen. All of the missed calls were from Jess. She even left a voice message, which means she must have been worried. Jess loathes leaving voice messages.
I listen to it.
“Han, I know you’re upset, but you were supposed to call when you got home. Let me know when you get this.”
The message was sent an hour after I left. I sigh. I should call her, but I need to read all of my texts first. To see if he responded since he didn’t call…
My finger hovers over the text message icon before I open it.
My stomach turns.
He didn’t text.
He didn’t call.
Why is he avoiding me? Is it because it’s true? Has he even heard the message I sent? Unease creeps through me. Did something happen to him? Every scenario runs through my mind until I finally decide to text him.
Kitten
Brooks, please let me know you’re okay.
I’m worried.
Three dots appear right away. My chest is tight as I wait to see what he says.
I’m fine.
Did you get my voice message?
Hannah, this really isn’t a good time.
Tears prickle my eyes.
Just answer me one thing. Are you married or was the story on TV a mistake?
Please. I just…I need to know.
I stare at my phone for ten minutes, willing him to answer. Finally, three dots appear.
I’m sorry, Hannah. The story is true. I’m married.
But you told me you were divorced!
We’ve been separated for years and were in the process of getting divorced.
Hurt spears me, making my head throb, which goes great with the pain from the concussion.
Brooks is married.
He lied to me.
Looking down at my phone, one thing stands out. Were. They were in the process of getting divorced.
And where do you stand now?
We’ve… reconciled.
Were you going to tell me?
Yes, I was going to tell you. Believe me when I say this decision wasn’t made lightly.
Did you know the story was going to air?
I didn’t know until it was too late.
But he didn’t let me know.
I’m so fucking sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make this right, but my hands are tied.
I want to be selfish and ask if it’s okay if we still keep in touch…
A sound somewhere between a laugh and sob escapes my lips.
Keep in touch? I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially when we’ve already done enough damage. You made me the other woman, Brooks. Not only that, but your WIFE is pregnant, which means you were sleeping with BOTH of us at the same time!
I understand. I hope that you believe me when I say that this is not how I wanted things to play out. Goodbye Hannah.
Goodbye Hannah.
Those two words break my heart.
I thought Brooks was the love of my life.
I thought we had a lifetime to be together.
God, was I wrong.
But I don’t have time to dwell on Brooks Henderson. No matter how much he hurt me.
Because I have bigger things to worry about.