Chapter 7
Hannah
“I don’t want to lose you, baby…”
That voice!
My heart stutters in my chest and I reach blindly for the control while trying not to disturb the sleeping infant in my arms. But then I make the mistake of looking at the screen. The trailer for the movie plays, but all I see is him. Brooks Henderson. The man who broke my heart six years ago. I must be a glutton for punishment because I watch the entire trailer. By the time it’s over, tears brim my eyes.
This time I do hit the button, turning off the TV. But the damage is done. His voice dances through my head, making me want to be sick. I’ve long stopped wondering when I won’t feel the stabbing pain right through my heart when I hear his voice, see his face, or even hear his freaking name. Because the answer seems to be never.
It’ll never stop hurting.
Kissing the top of baby Jeff’s head, I whisper, “I’m better off, right?”
Jeff wiggles his chubby legs and snuggles closer. Jess is going to be mad when she gets home and discovers that I let her baby fall asleep in my arms again, but what does she expect? He’s an angel and cries when I put him down.
As if I’ve summoned them, Jess and Matt enter through the side door that leads to the garage.
Jess narrows her eyes. “Really?”
“Look at this sweet face. You try putting him down.”
“You have a point.” She looks up at Matt. “We need to make another one soon. Jeffie needs a playmate, and since my best friend over there isn’t in a hurry to give him one, it’s up to us.”
There’s a dull ache in my chest. I don’t hold what Jess said against her because she doesn’t know everything that happened to me. It was my pain to bear. Even when it was too much. Sometimes, it’s still too much. I shove the thought aside. Otherwise, I’m going to cry.
Matt wiggles his dark eyebrows and says to Jess, “I’m down.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Jess throws her arms around him. “Let’s start tonight.”
I swear they’re one step away from running off, so I clear my throat. Loudly.
“As exciting as hearing about your baby making attempts is, I have to go, which means you’re back on baby duty. I’m meeting with a new client tomorrow.”
Jess groans as she pulls away from Matt.
“Cock blocker.”
I snort. “Yeah, yeah. Take this adorable baby away from me before I change my mind.”
Jeff doesn’t stir as I hand him over to Jess. There’s always a moment when I hand him back to her where I miss him. Jess thinks it’s my biological clock telling me to get on the roll. She might be right. But I’m not ready to face that fear of loss again.
“Who’s the new client? Anyone famous?”
“You know I couldn’t say even if it was.” I grab my purse and jacket. “My assistant said it was someone juicy, though.”
“Well, that’s just not fair. You can’t tease me like that without at least giving me a hint.” She grins. “But go you for being the most sought-after wedding planner in the great state of Texas.”
I’m technically one of the most sought-after wedding planners in the United States, but I don’t mention this. What is it the Pastor always likes to say? Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. I snort. It’s crazy that I can still hear his voice in my head, even though I haven’t been to one of his sermons in years.
I say, “I’ll see y’all later. Good luck with the baby making.”
Matt grins, wrapping his arms around his wife, and Jess giggles like they’re newlyweds.
I’m smiling as I make my way outside, to my black Lexus LX. Did I need the top-of-the-line SUV with all the bells and whistles? No. But I bought it because I want everyone to know I’m the best at what I do.
The drive home takes less than an hour, which is good in Dallas traffic. I enter the gated community where I live and pull into my driveway a moment later. My house is another reflection of how far I’ve come in life. I’m twenty-six and make more than people twice my age. Hell, I make more than my mother, though she’ll never admit it. No, Gina Sullivan would rather cut off her own arm than to admit that I actually did something right, especially when that meant going against her and the Pastor’s will.
Which I happily did.
I enter through my garage and turn off the alarm before going to the kitchen. Today is one of those days where I’m super thankful for meal delivery services. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a lick to eat tonight. While my food is reheating, I open the file on my new client on my iPad. There’s a note from my assistant, Renee.
Han,
Sorry all the info isn’t here. You’ll understand when you meet the bride. We have our work cut out with this one, but I think it’ll be worth it. Just look at the budget!
~Renee
I skim over the file and laugh. God. The bride is going to be the worst, but Renee is right. The budget means the sky is the limit and, ultimately, I think it’ll be worth it to work with her. I’m kind of curious about the groom, who doesn’t have a single word about him in the file, but I’ve also been in this industry long enough that I know the groom doesn’t really matter. Not when the bride is a Bridezilla.
And Jacqueline Chanel Minty-Smith is definitely a Bridezilla.
I wake up early the next morning full of energy. Planning weddings gives me joy on so many levels. Mostly, it’s the look the groom gives the bride as she walks down the aisle that makes it all worth it to me. That look alone is why I plan weddings. Well, that and the fact that I’ll likely never get married and can live vicariously through my brides. I snort into my coffee as I take a sip.
That’s definitely something I keep to myself.
Once I’m properly caffeinated, I shower and dress in a black skirt that shows off my curves and a bright pink top that matches my brand colors. I look in the mirror, making sure I like the overall vibe of my outfit today. The outfit hugs my curves, flaunting them. It’s taken years to forget the hateful words my mom and the Pastor beat into my brain growing up.
I’m a plus size girl and proud of it!
My gaze starts at my black flats and moves up. The skirt is a bodycon style but isn’t unflattering and I don’t even have shape wear on! My top enhances my well-endowed chest without being too revealing. I was going to wear a necklace, but I think it’ll only take away from the look. My make-up is light, and my lipstick matches my top. My blonde hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. And, of course, all of my tattoos are covered, either by clothing or make-up. I snort as I put on my earrings. Most people don’t know that I’m covered in tattoos. Only a select few will ever get a chance to know that little secret, too.
I think of Dave, the guy I’ve been seeing for a few weeks, and grin to myself. He’s definitely going to see my tattoos. Soon, too. God knows it’s been too long since I’ve been laid, and Dave and I are definitely headed to bed. My core clenches at the thought and has me reaching for my phone.
Dave
What are you up to tonight?
Well, someone is up early.
Hoping I get to see your pretty face.
Tell me I’m right.
You’re right. I miss you.
And I keep thinking about that kiss in your car.
Oh, really?
Mmmhmm.
Does that mean you want a repeat?
Yes…and more.
More? Well, damn. This day keeps getting better and better.
Hopefully it’ll end with a bang. winking emoji>>
Want me to pick you up at the office?
That sounds like a plan.
Then I’ll be at your mercy…
You read my mind. See you then.
I’m grinning as I go to my closet. Now that I know I’m getting laid, my plain white, cotton panties and bra just won’t do. I select a matching bra and thong in black lace.
Does it matter that I don’t see a future with Dave?
No. Because I don’t see a future with anyone.
That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy his company, especially when it means getting off. By the time I undress, change, and then dress, I’m running late.
But nothing can take the smile off my face today.
And I mean nothing.