Chapter 18
Hannah
I’ve been pacing for the last twenty minutes. Ever since I sent Brooks the text, letting him know that I was home. I couldn’t even bring myself to change out of my dress.
“Fuck,” I mutter. “What am I doing?”
My doorbell rings, making me jump. Of course, he’d show up right now.
Inhaling, I make my way to the door, opening it. He’s still in his suit, though he’s untied his tie, letting it hang freely. Somehow, it makes him look even sexier.
He exhales when he sees me.
“I wasn’t sure you’d answer,” he says with a small smile.
“I wasn’t sure I’d answer, either.” I step aside. “Come in.”
He enters without hesitation, and I close the door behind him.
“The living room is this way, or we can sit in the kitchen and have coffee.”
“Let’s go to the living room.”
I nod, leading the way. Part of me wonders what he thinks when he looks around. Six years ago, I was a broke college student. When he’d come to Fort Worth, we stayed in hotels. In Denver, we were always at his house. My chest is tight. I wonder if he still has that house? And I wonder if he’s going to live there with Jacqueline Chanel Minty-Smith?
“What’s the frown for, Angel?”
I meet his gaze. Our biggest problem was that we weren’t honest enough. I never told him I loved him. Hell, I didn’t tell him what happened after he left me. He wasn’t honest, either. He didn’t tell me he was actually married when we met, taking away my choice of whether I wanted to be with him or just walk away. That has to change, even if this is the last time we speak.
“I was wondering what you thought of my house, which made me think of your house in Denver and if you still lived there.” I meet his gaze head on. “Then I wondered if you and your new bride will live there.”
He runs his hand over his jaw. “I still have the house, though I don’t stay there too much. There are too many memories that haunt me there.” He gestures. “Your house, or what I’ve seen so far, fits you. I know you’ve worked hard to get where you are, Angel, and I’m so fucking proud of you.” He moves closer. “As for the last thing you wondered, well, let me clear things up. I’m not going to marry her.”
I snort, thinking he’s joking. When he doesn’t crack a smile, my laughter stops.
“Brooks, what are you saying?”
“I’ve fucked up more times than I can count, Angel. I’m not doing it again, and that means being honest with you. About everything.” He takes my hand, leading me to the couch and pulls me to his side. “Will you listen to what I have to say?”
My heart pounds. “Only if you’ll listen to what I have to say.”
“Deal.”
He angles his body so we’re facing each other, and I do the same. We used to sit like this all the time, talking for hours.
He sighs. “I don’t know where to start. There’s so much that I need to tell you, and it’s all interconnected. I guess I’ll start from the beginning.”
I nod.
There’s so much nervous energy bouncing between us that I clasp my hands together, just so I have something to do. It’s that or let my leg bounce, which is basically the same thing, but super distracting. God, even my thoughts are all over the place.
“When I was eighteen and went off to college, I knew my life was going to change. At the time, I thought it was because I was going to be a huge football star that went pro.” He snorts. “But then I fucked up my knee, and that dream went down the pipes. I was lost, goofing off and doing shit I shouldn’t. One night, I met Ace, and everything changed.”
“I remember you saying you met him in college.”
He nods. “We hit it off right away. That’s about the time that we were approached by the Brotherhood to join.”
“Brotherhood? Was that some kind of fraternity?”
His smile is wry. “It’s a secret society.”
“Did you join?”
“We both did. They promised us the world, and we were both young and hungry and seized the moment.”
Something Jacqueline said at her dress fitting comes back to me.
“Wait. Are you still in the society? Jacqueline made a comment about Elite wives and when I asked what it was, she changed the subject.”
“I’m still in it. Not only that, but I’m now an Elite Member.”
I say, “I’m not sure what that means.”
“The society has been around for hundreds of years. We are the men behind the curtains, pulling the strings on the puppets. But even we have rules to follow. The Elite Members are the ones who make sure that happens. We’re also the ones who have final say in all matters related to the Brotherhood.” He exhales. “One of their big rules is that they want their members to be married to women who bring something to the Brotherhood. Money. Fame. Power. The Brotherhood wants it all. When I joined, I knew they would want me to marry. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon.”
Dread pools in my stomach.
“The Brotherhood told me I was going to marry Liza Mars. I met her the next day and two months later, we were married. It was a fucking nightmare. We were both too young to be married. Liza was so fucking talented, but she had so many demons that I couldn’t help her fight.” He shakes his head. “We separated after five years, doing our own things. I kept pleading with the Brotherhood to let me divorce her, but they wouldn’t agree.”
“Why not?”
“She came from money but was also talented enough that they hoped she’d bring in even more money. What they didn’t count on were her addictions. She drank and snorted her way through most of her cash before it even had time to hit her banking account.”
I hesitate. “She died a few years ago, right, when the two of you finally did divorce?”
As much as I hate to admit it, I followed his career after we broke up. I knew he divorced about a year after the news of the baby and reconciliation hit the news. I know about every movie and TV show that he’s done in the last six years. Even when I didn’t want to know, the universe would put news about him in front of me in one way or another. That’s how I know that Liza died after overdosing.
He nods. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. She deserved better than what she got with me. I never loved her the way she wanted and when she had a chance of happiness, the Brotherhood scared her into coming back to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you I was divorced when we met.”
My reply is dry. “I remember.”
“We had been separated longer than we were married. She was going down a path that was going to bring unwanted attention to the Brotherhood.” He shakes his head, smiling. “She did an interview and told them I was in a secret society. There are enough people out there who know the Brotherhood is real, even if they can’t prove it, and the rumor took off on the internet. It was enough of a push that the Brotherhood finally agreed it was time to cut ties with her.”
I vaguely remember Jess showing me a meme about Brooks being in a secret society a long time ago. It’s the internet, so I take everything with a grain of salt.
“But then she got pregnant.” The words taste sour in my mouth.
“She was never pregnant. Not by me, at least. Angel, you were the only one I was with from the day that I met you. I should have told you that the divorce was pending, but since the paperwork had been filed, I thought I was safe in moving on. I swear to god that my intent was never malicious.”
“So if the baby wasn’t yours, then whose was it?”
“I don’t even know if there was a baby, to be honest. From what I know, she met a guy and was in love with him. They were going to run off when her record label caught wind. The label was owned by someone in the Brotherhood, and he knew that losing Liza was going to hurt his bottom line, so he reached out to the Elite Members and pleaded his case. They sided with him without hearing me out first.”
There’s anger in his eyes that has me wanting to reach out to him, but I don’t. At the end of the day, he lied to me.
“The label is the one who leaked the story to that fucking gossip TV show. Had cameras waiting to attack us after we met. I thought we were meeting to sign the divorce papers. I had no fucking idea what was happening until it was too late.” He meets my gaze. “I wanted to call you, but I was trying to stop the news from spreading. Unfortunately for me, her team had been working on the plan for a while and were two steps ahead of me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this when I called or texted?”
“Everything was crazy. I knew it was going to take time to clean up the mess she had created. By the time it was taken care of, you were nowhere to be found.”
“What do you mean?”
“Six months after the story leaked, I went to your house. Spoke to your mom and stepfather at their house in Fort Worth. They claimed you wanted nothing to do with me, and when I asked to speak with you, they said you’d run off with a new man. I tried looking for you, but it’s like you vanished.”
He looked for me and they didn’t tell me? I’m not surprised, but it still hurts like hell.
“Liza went to rehab, and we separated again. When she started doing meth, the Brotherhood finally agreed to let me divorce her. A few months later, she overdosed after a weekend bender in Vegas.” He exhales. “I shouldn’t have been relieved when she died, but I was. I thought I was finally free. That I had paid my dues to the Brotherhood. But then my predecessor died, and I was promoted to an Elite Member, and they told me I had to get married again.”
“To Jacqueline.”
“To Jacqueline.” He says, “I’m not going to do it, though. I can’t fucking go through with another sham marriage. Especially not since I’ve found you.” He reaches for my hand. “When you walked into that consultation room, it felt like being punched in the face by fate. I’d looked for you for years without finding you and then you end up being the wedding planner? It has to mean something.”
“Or your fiancée wants the best and knew that was me.”
“Either way, our paths crossed again. And everything happens for a fucking reason.”
My chest is tight.
“From what it sounds like, if the Brotherhood wants you to marry her, then that’s who you’re going to marry.”
“I’m not going to allow it.”
“Because you’re an Elite Member now?”
“Because I love you, Hannah. I should have told you sooner, and I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t. From the moment the story broke, I’ve felt like half of my soul was missing. That feeling went away when you walked into that room.”
“Brooks, this is crazy.”
“Tell me you don’t feel it. Tell me that no one has ever made you feel the way that I do. Because I’m not afraid to admit it. Not anymore. You are my other half, Angel, and I’m not going through this life without you by my side.”
He’s saying everything I’ve ever wanted him to say to me, but there are things he doesn’t know. Things that might change how he feels about me. How he sees me.
“When the story broke that Liza was pregnant, I was at Jess’ house. I had to get out of there because I couldn’t stand to see the pity in her eyes. I was upset and shouldn’t have been driving.” My eyes water. “I was looking down at my phone and crossed lanes, hitting someone.”
“Fuck. Angel.”
I continue because I have to.
“I was in the hospital for a few days and then went to my mom’s house. It was…not great. Especially when she found out that I was pregnant.” His eyes widen, but I rush on. “I was under a lot of stress and had a miscarriage a few weeks after my accident. But that was the moment that they doubled down on their rules and how I was supposed to act.” My breath hitches. “I thought about killing myself. Everything was too much, and I didn’t see a way out. But then my dad reached out to me, saying he wanted to see me. I left for his house in Oklahoma and didn’t look back.”
“Hannah—”
“Brooks, it is what it is. Like you said, everything happens for a reason. My only regret is that I didn’t let you know.” I smile wryly. “It wouldn’t have changed anything, of course. That baby just wasn’t meant to be. But it might have helped me heal faster instead of keeping it all inside.”
“It would have changed things, Hannah. I would have been there for you.”
“You don’t know that. As you said, the Brotherhood dictates what you do. They wouldn’t have cared that some girl from Texas lost a baby.”
“We lost a baby, Angel, and they might not have cared, but I do. I care. I care a-fucking-lot.”
He pulls me close, hugging me tightly. My eyes water, but I don’t cry. If I start, I might not stop.
“I forgot how good your hugs are,” I say against his chest.
He’s silent, but his grip tightens.
Finally, he asks, “Hannah, will you give me another chance?”
I pull back, looking up at him. “A chance?”
“I love you. That’s not going to change.”
“Brooks, it’s not as simple as that.”
“It can be.”
He says it with so much certainty that I want to believe him. But when it comes down to it, I don’t know if it’s wise to trust him with every fiber in my body. It’s definitely not safe for my heart.
“I need time.”
His gaze searches mine. “All I’ve got is time.”
I snort. “Except there’s a woman out there who thinks you’re getting married in June. A woman who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. And I won’t hurt her, Brooks. Not even indirectly.”
“She’s a viper, Angel. I’m not sure she even feels pain. But I understand what you’re saying. Ace and I are trying to find something on her that will get me out of this marriage.”
“Something like what?”
“Fuck if I know,” he says with a laugh. “But there has to be something. Her husband was a dog and I’m sure there are skeletons in her closet. I just need to find something big enough to bring her down.”
A yawn escapes before I can stop it and I slap my hand over my mouth.
“Sorry. It’s been a long day.”
“No need to apologize, Angel. Let’s get you to bed.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“You heard me. I’m not leaving.”
“Brooks, we’re not going to have sex.”
He grins. “I like the way you think, Hannah, but I meant sleeping. I’m tired, too, and I have to get up early to go to Japan.”
“Oh.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “We can have sex anytime you want, Angel. Just not tonight.”
“Fine.” I stand. “You’re going to have to help me out of this dress, though.”
“My pleasure.”
I lead him to the second floor, where my room is. This feels like a big moment for us for some reason. Like, we’re both successful adults and he’s in my house that I own. It’s nothing like when we were together the last time. For so many reasons.
As scary as it is to trust him, I do feel like our cards are on the table and there’s nothing between us now. No lies. No wives. No losses that we should have told each other. Just truth. And hope.
We reach my room, and he stops to look around.
“This feels like home, Angel.”
I smile because I know what he means.
Another yawn escapes and I say, “Yikes. I’m fading fast.”
“Let’s get you out of this dress, because I know you’re going to be asleep before your head hits the pillow.”
I spin so he can unzip me. Part of me wants to let the dress fall to the ground, but I also love it, so I take it off and pad to my closet, hanging it on a hanger. My bra comes off next, leaving me in just my thong. Should I put on a shirt or not? I rarely sleep in anything, but I don’t want him to think that I’m trying to seduce him.
“Angel?”
I laugh at myself and call out, “Sorry. Trying to decide if I should come out in what I’d normally wear to bed or not.”
“Do whatever is going to make you comfortable.”
Fuck it.
I walk out of the closet to find him in nothing but his boxers. Time has been kind to him. His muscular body is harder, and there’s ink that wasn’t there the last time I saw him. Of course, I can’t say anything because I didn’t have any tattoos six years ago. The tattoo on his neck looks fresh and matches the one on his left ring finger.
I’m moving before I can stop myself until I’m close enough to reach out and touch his neck.
“Does this have something to do with the Brotherhood?”
His throat bobs as he swallows, as if he’s affected by my touch.
“It does.” He shakes his head. “Angel, I don’t know how it’s possible, but you’re even more beautiful than you were the last time I saw you.”
“Funny. I was just thinking the same about you.” I tilt my head toward the bed. “Still sleep on the right side?”
He nods.
“Good. Because I still like to cuddle. Is that okay?”
“More than okay, Angel.”
Rounding the bed, I pull back the bedding. He does the same and we climb in. A moment later, my back is pressed against his chest and his arm is around my waist. We exhale at the same time.
“Night, Angel.”
“Good night, Kitten.”