Chapter 9
NINE
Hartford
I haven’t spoken to Paxton since the other night. Since the incident at Moore Restaurant, which is now being referred to as “The shock heard round the world.” I’m too mortified to face him, but I need to put this behind me and move on.
Paxton took me home after leaving the restaurant, and it was the most awkward car ride ever. The vibrator suffered irreparable damage, and, honestly, I don’t know how I feel about that. I almost wanted to bury it and give it a proper funeral.
It will be missed.
Before the Biddies Book Club walked over to our table, I was enjoying myself. A little too much.
I was so turned on, and knowing Paxton was in control made it so much more.
Now I’m sitting on my couch, laptop on my lap, working on my article and researching other things we can try. BDSM has many factors, and there’re different kinks to explore.
After a few searches, I come across something that looks enticing. Bondage play.
It doesn’t look too sexual in this scene. I’ll be dressed in a bodysuit and Paxton can cut the clothing off me as I’m tied up.
I trust him completely and feel this won’t break any of our agreed-upon rules.
I send a text to Paxton with my idea, and he agrees all too quickly. A zap travels through my body when I see the simple “yes” written in his text.
It doesn’t take me long to find the perfect outfit on an erotic website and purchase it. Now to wait and think about all the ways I want Paxton to cut this outfit from my body.
I slam my laptop shut, trying my best to push the images of Paxton’s green eyes deepening as he looked at me while controlling the vibrator. It was intense.
I know we agreed to stop if things got weird, but there’s no way I’m stopping now. I want to know what it would be like with him.
What having him desire me would be like.
I’m sure he was just caught up in the moment and didn’t get turned on by watching me. I’m being silly.
I push my laptop to the side and stand. I need to get out of here for the day. The Book, Spine, and Sinker bookstore is close to my house, so I hop on my bike and pedal my way there.
I love the smell of old books.
I love the smell of new books too.
I love the smell of all books. I’m not picky.
I pull up to the shop and park my bike on the sidewalk.
This is one of my most favorite shops in all of Magnolia Ridge.
The top half of the store is built with deep-red brick while the lower portion is a bulky, clunky forest-green wood.
Through the paned-glass window I can see Millie inside her shop.
I head inside, breathing in the smell of books.
“Hi, Hartford,” Millie Mason, the owner of the bookstore, says to me. Sunlight pours through the windows, casting an angel-like aura around her blonde head.
“Hey, Millie.” I’ve known Millie for a long time. She once dated Brock Atwood back in high school for like five minutes, and now she’s living out her dreams of owning her own bookshop. She grew up with books, since her mother owned the store before her, and she also hosts the Biddies Book Club.
She’s also the youngest member of the club. Which I can see that they’re all here in full force. There’s hardly a day that goes by where they’re not hanging out at Millie’s shop.
“Hartford, what were you doing out with Paxton the other night?” Helen Lark says. She’s a member of the Biddies Book Club and one of my mother’s best friends.
Even though my mother moved to Florida, she still gabs on the phone to her friends for hours.
I hold up my hands as the rest of the book club gathers around me. “We’re just friends,” I say.
Millie raises a thin brow at me. “You’ve been besties forever. Is he the reason you don’t date?”
I frown. “I date.” Don’t I? I try to think back to my last date.
It’s been a while.
“I tried to set you up with Jasper Moore, and you never showed up.” Millie’s blonde hair hangs down her shoulders.
“I’ve known Jasper for years. Sure, he’s good-looking and nice, but…” I let my words fall away, because Jasper may look perfect on paper, but he’s not Paxton. My eyes widen a bit at my realization.
Oh shit.
Have I not been interested in dating because I have a deep, unrequited love for my best friend?
I shake my head. No. Not true.
“You looked cozy,” Claire says, raising a brow.
As if Helen can read my thoughts, she places her hand over mine. “You’ve always cared for him.”
I nod. “I do care for him.” I need to change the subject before I profess my undying love for Paxton.
Ha.
I do not love him. As a friend, sure. Not as a romantic love interest.
No, absolutely not.
“So, what can I help you find today?” Millie asks, changing the subject.
I knew I liked her.
I smile and clap my hands together. “Well, I don’t know. What new books have you got?”
Millie’s turquoise eyes shine as she points at a cabinet near the front of the store. “Just got in several new thrillers. And the new Nora Roberts book.”
I don’t think I can handle anything romantic right now. “Show me the thrillers,” I say. As we walk over to the shelf, I ask, “What book are you reading for the book club, ladies?”
“This month’s a good one. We’re reading Emma by Jane Austen. It’s a great friends-to-lovers romance,” Millie says.
“I always love a good friends-to-lovers romance,” Claire says while winking at me.
I nod, not needing the reminder of Paxton being my friend. This is ridiculous. We will not end up together.
This assignment is harder than I thought.
I pull the first thriller I see off the shelf, thankful there’s zero romance in it, and purchase it. After saying goodbye, I leave the store and head in the direction of the coffee shop I love so much. I need my daily dose of caffeine to make it through this day.
Nerves race through my body as I stare at my outfit in the full-length mirror in my bedroom. Wow. The black bodysuit clings to every inch of my body. For a clothing item that covers me completely, I feel naked. Underneath, I’ve got on a pair of black panties with a matching black bra.
I’m sticking to the panties rule.
I run my fingers through my hair, letting the soft curls bounce around my shoulders. I put on heavier makeup today because it makes me feel sexy, and I liked the way Paxton couldn’t stop staring at me at dinner the other night.
When the doorbell rings, my nerves kick up, making me nearly wobble in my heels as I hurry to the front door and open it.
“Fucking holy wow,” Paxton says. He steps inside and shuts the door quickly. “Don’t want anyone else seeing you like this.”
“What do you think?” I do a little twirl.
He leans his head back against the door, closing his eyes. “I’ve never seen you in anything so sexy. I need a moment.”
I swat at his arm playfully. “You’ve seen me in a bikini. This bodysuit covers everything.”
His eyes sweep over my body, leaving chills in their wake. “Yeah, it’s just so tight.” He holds up a coil of rope in his hand. “I bought this online. It’s made from hemp, so it’s softer than other ropes.”
“Ah, thank you.” Is it weird that it turns me on that he’s thinking about my comfort?
“Damn, I can’t believe I’m about to tie you up.”
“Be gentle,” I tell him.
He steps closer. “Always. Your safety is my number one concern.” He places a hand on my shoulder. “You remember the safe word, right?”
“Strawberry.”
“Good girl.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Paxton ties me up to the frame of my bed. My hands are above my head, and I couldn’t move, even if I tried, and for a quick second I panic.
However, Paxton soothes my fears when he touches my cheek.
“Are you okay?”
I nod. “I’m ready.”
He dims the lights and plays music through his iPhone. A soulful Rigsby Collins tune floats through the air, creating the perfect ambience for this night.
Paxton pulls a knife from his pocket and opens it. “God, you’re a dream,” he whispers, and I’m not sure if he meant for me to hear him.
But I did. Goosebumps erupt all over my skin.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” I say.
Paxton raises a brow. “Me either, Hart. This is all new to me.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief, glad Paxton has done nothing like this with anyone else. Not that I thought he had, but I want to know how kinky he’s gotten without coming right out and asking him.
He steps closer, and my body tightens with anticipation. My heartbeat picks up, and a swarm of butterflies flutter in my belly.
Paxton runs one hand up my leg, and it causes my thighs to press together to quench the pressure building in my core. I want his hands there.
He’s slow, torturously slow, and a moan slips out of my mouth. “You sound frustrated,” he tells me in a voice I’ve never heard from him. It’s low. Raspy. Breathy and needy.
It turns me on more than I’ve ever been before.
“I am frustrated,” I breathe out, wishing he’d touch me already.
He cuts a small slit into the shoulder of the bodysuit, revealing my flesh. He stares at my skin for a beat too long. “I never thought I’d be into something like this, but it’s hot.”
So is Paxton as he licks his lips, staring down at me.
“It is rather hot,” I agree with him.
“I don’t want you doing this with anyone else. Only me.”
“Only you.” I’m digging this possessive side Paxton has kept hidden from me.
I want more of it.
He grazes the knife across my stomach, cutting more of the suit. He pulls the tear, making it large enough to see the waistband of my panties. His finger brushes over the material, and I’m so turned on I can barely breathe.
My pulse pumps my heated blood through my body and it thrums in my ears.
Paxton’s green eyes stay transfixed on my exposed skin, like it’s a long-lost treasure he’s been searching for years to uncover. “Your skin is like silk,” he tells me. “I need more of it.” He slices a hole in the bodysuit at my thigh and brushes his fingertips along the revealed skin.
It’s a weird sense of freedom being bound by the rope. An oxymoron if I’ve ever known one, but it’s true. I don’t want to move, yet a small part of me wants to touch Paxton like he’s touching me.
His hands feather over my skin, causing goosebumps to race up my spine. “I want to see your panties, Hart,” he breathes out. His gaze shoots to meet mine. “Sorry. I’ve just been thinking about them a lot since the night of the vibrator. I’ve been wondering what kind you like to wear.”
I gather my courage to say, “Why don’t you keep cutting and find out?”
There’s a flash of something deep in Paxton’s eyes as he stares at me. Desire? He raises the knife. “Get ready.”
Anticipation nearly rips me in two.
“Shit, Hart, you’re bleeding,” Paxton says, raising his knife to cut me from the ropes that bind me. “I accidentally cut you somehow.” He works through the rope as I stare down at the bright crimson blood smeared along my belly.
I don’t feel anything.
As soon as I’m freed, Paxton has me in his arms, running his fingers over me, looking for the cut. It’s at this point I realize the blood isn’t mine.
It’s his.
“Paxton, you cut yourself.”
He holds up his thumb as blood leaks from the deep wound on it. “Fuck.”