Chapter 15
Jannis
“What is Valérie doing?”
I look to my left, puzzled, because it’s more than obvious what’s happening there. “Talking to Mr. Rottmann?”
“Does she need help?”
Ha. If anyone can stand up for themselves, it’s Val, but I think I need to set the record straight. “Mr. Rottmann? Definitely.”
Now Dayyan is the one looking at me as if I’ve lost my marbles, and I have to really pull myself together not to burst out laughing. “What? No, Valérie. I said ’she’.”
“Valérie doesn’t identify as female, and I actually suspect that’s what this discussion is all about.
” It’s always about that. Mr. Rottmann is an asshole and the only teacher at this school ignoring Val’s identity after they came out three years ago.
Everyone knows that, and everyone knows how awful he acts toward V.
I have no idea how our school administration came up with the idea that it’d be a brilliant move to assign him as our German teacher.
If Valérie were even a little less Valérie and not the strong, confident person that V is, he’d cause serious damage.
“Maybe I’m just being stupid, but could you please explain to me what’s going on?
” He paused before continuing. “Damn, Val is on fire.” Dayyan’s eyes light up as he watches Val argue expressively.
It’s obvious he likes what he sees judging by the slight grin that lifts the corners of his mouth.
Not much, but I see it, and it annoys me more than it should.
And much more than I would ever be willing to admit.
“You like Val.” Ah, damn it, there was too much bite in my voice. I can’t even blame him. V is undeniably attractive, carrying an extraordinary beauty that captivates everyone.
“She’s pretty. But what I like is how she stands up for herself.”
Relief washes over me and I hate myself for it. I have no right to be jealous. That’d mean that I... no. Subject change, now. “Valérie is non-binary.”
“Oh, fuck, now I get it. Which pronouns do… they prefer?”
I smile. “Nice try. Not necessarily that. Val prefers not to use pronouns at all. You can say Valérie, Val, or V, but you’re welcome to skip the pronouns, at least when you talk to V themselves.”
Dayyan’s gaze wanders back to the argument at the end of the hallway and he frowns. “Let me guess, Mr. Rottmann can’t handle that at all.”
***
Mr. Rottmann should be able to handle it, just like all the other teachers do.
It’s not so hard to call a student by their name.
But he doesn’t want to, and he lets Val know that at every opportunity.
Today is one of those days, and the mere fact that he’s picking on Val again just one day after their discussion in the hallway says it all.
“How pathetic can you be?” Dayyan whispers in my ear. “Doesn’t he have anything better to do than think about how to make Val’s life in class hell?”
Two minutes ago, we were given an assignment: “Today we’re going to work a little differently. We want to analyze gender differences in the creative writing processes in more detail, so please divide yourselves accordingly. Girls on the right, boys on the left.”
The room is filled with hustle and bustle and the scraping of chairs, but Dayyan next to me remains seated.
At first, I don’t understand why, but then I see that Valérie hasn’t left their place in the middle either, raising a hand.
“Mr. Rottmann, would you be so kind as to tell me which group I’m working in? ”
“Valérie, if you don’t know what you are right now, maybe a quick visit to the rest room will help.” Wow, that was bad. The class is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“That was not okay. Val can’t let that slide.”
V won’t. “Oh, thanks for the suggestion. But I am well aware I have a vagina. That doesn’t change my non-binary gender identity. I’ll be in group three then, I assume?”
Mr. Rottmann blushes so quickly that I worry about his blood pressure for two seconds. “One person is not a group, I can’t accept that. I’m very sorry, Valérie.”
No, you’re not, asshole. Before I can finish my thought, Dayyan gets up sitting down next to Valérie. “But two people are a group.”
Val tries to suppress a big grin while our teacher turns even redder.
Right now, he’s giving every fire extinguisher a run for its money.
All he needs to do is pull out his hose.
.. no, oh no, not going there. Oh my God.
But the image is already in my head, and I can’t hold back my laughter anymore.
Now everyone is looking at me because they’ve never seen me laughing before. Great.
Mr. Rottmann clears his throat loudly to restore order. “Linguistically speaking, two people are a couple.”
Unlike Mr. Fire Extinguisher, Valérie is popular in class, so I’m not surprised six other people get up with me and sit down with Val and Dayyan. “Cool move!” I whisper quietly in Dayyan’s ear, and my heart beats a little faster when he smiles back mischievously.
***
“But everyone in class is really cool with Valérie, right?”
I nod silently, then lean down to Dayyan. “It was never an issue in class. Val has always been special, always kind of in between. Dancing is the only thing you could classify as typically girly, and V got this passion from their father. When Val came out, no one was really surprised.”
I keep to myself that it took almost two years for everyone to be up to date linguistically, but at least no one misgendered V intentionally, except for Mr. Rottmann.
“Just so I understand. Your class had no problem accepting Valérie’s coming out and the associated linguistic changes, but they ignore you because you only communicate with them non-verbally?
” That sums it up pretty perfect, and I nod.
“That makes it even worse somehow.” Yeah. .. you could see it that way.
***
“Don’t you have to work this weekend?”
“Tomorrow night. But I’m freaking out in Karlsruhe.”
Luca nods sympathetically. “Still David?”
Annoyed, my big brother rolls his eyes. “I know it’s my own fault. I rejected him, not the other way around, but... Fuck, it just hurts. I miss him.”
I still don’t understand how things could’ve gone down so spectacularly between them—for the second time. Okay, admittedly, without Luca and me, there might not have been a second time, but damn it, they love each other. They have for ages.
“Have you heard from David?” Louis shakes his head. Luca and I look at each other and, as always, we understand each other without words. If David can’t figure out his priorities on his own, we’ll do it for him.
“We’ll leave you alone for now.” With a stern look toward the door, I signal Luca to follow me.
“We need a plan.” As soon as my door closes, I start talking. “I’m not willing to stand by and watch this anymore. Why do two people have to suffer just because he can’t get his head out of his ass?”
Luca grins. “I’m in, what are you thinking about?”
“We’re going to Karlsruhe. Tomorrow.”
As if in terrible pain, Luca grimaces. “I have soccer tomorrow. And do you even know where we have to go?”
Not yet, but I’ll find out. There are probably more people who are currently unhappy with the overall situation, not just the two of us.
I find David on Louis’s social media, then quickly try to find Finn, David’s roommate.
There are three Finns, but only one of them is also friends with Louis, so I try my luck with a direct message.
Three hours and two family photos later: jackpot.
A new message with the address pops up, along with confirmation that David is miserable too.
“He doesn’t actually leave the house at the moment, not unless I force him to. We can definitely be home tomorrow. No kidding, in terms of the care he needs I have a toddler at home right now. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
That sounds desperate, so Luca and I are on the train to Karlsruhe at seven o’clock on Sunday morning and ringing the doorbell of the small house at half past eight.
Finn opens the front door and leads us to a closed door.
His knock is soft before he pokes his head into the dark room.
He’s being very respectful, but neither Luca nor I are in the mood for pleasantries.
David looks terrible, and Luca can’t help but comment on it.
To be honest, he’s right about everything he says, but I have to bite my tongue very hard to keep myself from laughing out loud.
Less than thirty minutes later, we’re back outside.
Efficiency is everything. If we achieve the desired effect, I should consider becoming a couples therapist.
Then I think of Danny, whom I love... right? And Dayyan, who gives me that warm tingling sensation in my stomach every time he smiles at me, who causes my heart to race every time I think about him. Maybe I’m not much of a couples therapist after all. I can’t even sort out my own emotional chaos.