Chapter 9 #3
“You was scared to tell me? Fuck out of here with that, Lu,” I said. How annoyed I was, was obvious. Nodding, I said to O, “Yeah, I’ma be good.”
“You know why I invited her, Cres’. Don’t be like that.”
Clenching down on my jaw, I looked back over at her.
I wasn’t surprised Luna invited her. It was the significance of it.
However, I did feel disrespected. Things with Reign and I went downhill the minute Nova died.
Instead of her death bringing us together, it separated us.
We got distant. I didn’t know how to handle emotions that were foreign to me and she didn’t know how to handle me, not knowing how to handle them.
I recoiled. Stayed to myself. Dealt with my pain on my own and she let me.
Distance wasn’t what I needed. It wasn’t what neither of us needed but it was what we gave.
The house we shared together didn’t feel like a home.
It was more like a prison, and I stayed out of it as much as I could.
Being there was too painful. My daughter wasn’t there and the only sound that filled the space was old videos of her that Reign kept on repeat, or crying.
So, to stay out of the house, I spent the majority of my time at the office.
Was I working? Barely. Kept the blinds drawn, my door shut, and my eyes glued to a picture of my daughter for most of the day.
The bulk of the work went to my nigga Judah.
It didn’t matter to me that I wasn’t working.
Money was still being made. The only thing I cared about at the time was getting out of the house. And away from her.
I blamed her. Nova was in her care when she drowned.
They were at one of her friend’s house. A birthday party and Nova got into the pool.
How? I didn’t know. She got in though. Reign said by the time she saw her, my baby girl was face down, floating.
I imagined that every day. Thought about how much she struggled.
How scary it must’ve been… just about everything that went with drowning.
I couldn’t escape the thought of witnessing it.
Shit tore me up. Reign did CPR for a while and brought her back before the ambulance could arrive.
Didn’t matter though. Nova died not even a week later.
So, yeah. I blamed her. Hated her for real.
But couldn’t really blame her because kids are kids and accidents happen.
I searched for that. Looked deep within for compassion but I couldn’t find it.
Not at the time. Not while it was fresh.
Now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever found compassion.
Don’t think I ever found forgiveness. Knew for certain I never would. Which was why we were, where we were.
As if she knew we were talking about her, Reign made her way over to us.
I swallowed and brushed a hand down the back of my neck.
I didn’t prepare for this. Had I known she was going to be in the building, I would have stopped at the liquor store and grabbed a little shot of something.
I hadn’t seen her since she moved out. Seeing her now pulled a lot of fucked up feelings to the forefront.
“You should’ve told him, Lu,” Orion said, shaking his head.
“I didn’t know how to, O. Shut up,” Luna whined.
I didn’t say anything; just watched as Reign maneuvered through the crowd, eyes on me, speaking to everyone who ended up in her path.
She looked good. Very good. She was wearing a black, fitted, spaghetti strapped dress that stopped just below her knees and a pair of strappy high heeled sandals.
I didn’t need to see her feet to know that her toes were white.
She always had white toes. She usually wore her hair short, cut with finger waves but today she wore it long.
Bone straight, with a part down the middle, tossed to the back, accentuating her high cheekbones.
Her makeup, as always, was minimal. She didn’t need it.
Reign was beautiful—our daughter a splitting image of her.
Another reason why I stayed away from the house.
Reign was a constant reminder of what Nova could’ve been.
From the beauty to the brains. And a constant reminder of what was taken from me.
“Hey,” she spoke, finally making it to us.
“Hey,” Luna spoke back, embracing her.
Orion did the same.
When she got to me, we hesitated and did that awkward ass one armed hug.
“How have you been?” She asked, eyes centered on mine, a soft smile on her face.
“I’ve been good. How about yourself?” I asked, genuinely interested in knowing.
Reign played a pivotal role in my life. She was the last woman I was serious with.
Damn near married her. Had just started the process of getting her ring custom made a couple of weeks before Nova’s accident.
I was serious about her. So serious about her that nobody saw the breakup coming.
After the accident things took a turn for the worst but nobody knew.
At least I didn’t think they did. I was checked out.
Her peoples visited. Mine did too, but… because I was checked out I didn’t pick up on vibes, didn’t pay attention to weird looks, or any of that shit.
I was hurt-hurt. Too busy grieving to really give a fuck about what was going on around me.
I appreciated the hell out of Judah for keeping the business afloat.
If it weren’t for him, there was no telling where Skylight Industries would be.
You’d think it would be Orion or Rah that kept things moving, but nah, they were grieving too.
“I’ve been pretty good. I saw the article on Skylight Industries the other day. You’re working on the hotel. Finally, huh?”
Awkwardly, I smiled. For a brief moment, I wondered if I should have told her about the start of construction since it was dedicated to Nova.
Things weren’t dead silent between us after Nova died.
We tried to be normal. Tried to exist in the same space without the tension in the air suffocating us.
I talked about the hotel with her. Told her I wanted to create something in remembrance of our daughter.
She came up with the hotel idea—I came up with the name.
It was a joint idea. I probably should have mentioned it but shit it took me a minute to even move on it; I didn’t want to talk to Reign.
If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have been talking to her now.
“Yeah,” I said, before clearing my throat. “Took a minute to find a location.”
That was partially true. It only took me a minute because it was difficult to start something like that.
Even harder to get the right team in place.
I needed the best and I needed someone with specifics.
I didn’t decide on Mahogany just because she was the top decorator in the region—I decided on her because she was a mother.
It was business, yes, but for me it was very, very personal.
“Ah, I bet,” she said. “Luna! You are wearing that dress, sis. I love it.”
Sis. Luna always had been sis, Orion bro, and my parents moms and pops too.
I wondered if that would ever change. Wondered if it ever needed to change.
From a standpoint of pain, I’d say yes. From the other angle, I’d say no.
Her bond with my people didn’t break just because ours did.
To my family, Reign would always be family.
We were together for six years. They loved the fuck out of her.
Had compassion and understanding for the situation that I couldn’t.
Instead of standing there any longer, I flicked my wrist to check the time and walked off.
I could feel Reign’s eyes on me as I did but refused to look over at her.
It was uncomfortable for me, looking at her.
Noticing the subtle changes in her appearance due to aging reminded me too much of how much time had passed.
Crazy how I was worried about shit going left with family just to be hit with a curveball. Sitting at the bar, I ran my hand down the back of my neck, waiting for the bartender. I needed a double shot, for sure.