Chapter 4 #3
Once I finished the first drink, I went right for the second. Lee stayed. Creating small talk that I just nodded to here and there, looking around the club for something to fuck on.
After about ten minutes, I found him. Not just him—them. There were three of them in a group. Perfect.
In the middle of Lee talking, I stood up, told her to put the drinks on my tab, and walked off.
My stride wasn’t as confident as usual. There was a little…
hesitation in it—especially after I spotted Judah fucking Wolfe standing against a wall, watching me.
I paused. Swallowed. Glanced over. Why in the fuck was he here so early?
He nodded. I didn’t return the gesture. Thought about taking a run for the door.
My pounding heart told me to but the pain behind it told me not to.
Pandora’s was a place for secrets. For secret identities and here, I held onto Mocha.
Here, I wasn’t Mahogany. So… fuck him. Judah couldn’t judge me.
He couldn’t speak on this either. If he did, I would have his membership revoked before the day was out, I was so tight with Emerald.
I took a deep breath, swallowed again and walked right by him, adding a little umph to my stride.
His eyes followed me. I ignored him. I kept walking, right up until I made it across the room where they stood.
The one I had my eyes fixed on was tall.
Very tall. Had to be a good 6’3. Dark and very fucking handsome with a thick Hebrew beard that connected to his thick mustache.
He wore his locs pulled back into a bun.
Shifting my eyes away from him, I glanced at the other two.
Average. Handsome enough. How they looked didn’t matter.
I just needed a victim, and I happened to luck up with three.
The first one wore a cocky smirk. I knew off back that if I met him outside of the club I’d never fuck with him.
He was handsome but clearly very self-absorbed, dressed casually in a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans I couldn’t wait to get off of him.
Not because I was dick hungry but because I wanted the night to hurry and end.
I just… I wasn’t feeling it, but I had to feel it.
I had to do something. At least I felt like I did.
I stopped in front of him.
“Wassup baby?” He spoke. “What’s your name?”
I bit my bottom lip and asked, “Is it important?”
He took a sip of his drink before sitting it on the table behind him. “Hell naw it’s not.”
Looking away from him, I gave piercing eye contact to the other two. With my hand on number one’s waistband, I fondled with his belt buckle. He went to help me, but I swatted his hands away.
“Let me.”
With raised brows he drew back a little. “Alright love. Go crazy then.”
I rolled my eyes as I dropped down to my knees to unbuckle his belt.
Once it was unbuckled, I crawled over to the one in the middle and ran my hands down his thighs, looking up at him like a dick hungry slut.
They couldn’t see my face, but they could see my eyes and because they could see them, I put a lot of passion behind them.
It was easy. Easy because when I looked up at them I didn’t see them.
I saw Crescent. And behind me, there wasn’t a small crowd forming, Duke was standing there.
That’s how I imagined it. That’s how I wanted it.
Three of him. One of him. Watching me as I devoured dick.
He was strapped to a chair, hands bound, mouth gagged, forced to watch his wife suck and fuck on another man.
Middle man went to place his hands on my head and I moved away. “No touching.”
“Aw shit,” I heard someone in the crowd say. “Mocha’s about to go to work.”
I wanted to barf.
I wasn’t fascinated by my reputation. Didn’t find glee or confidence in it either.
I wasn’t proud of what I did at Pandora’s.
Because Pandora’s had never been about sexual liberation.
It was about taking charge of something in my life.
About being control of something. About revenge.
Nothing about this place made me feel ‘good’ for real. It made me feel empowered, though.
Once I had middleman’s belt undone, I moved to the last dude. He was eager. Had already unbuttoned his belt.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” I tisked, shaking my head. “Why’d you do that?” I asked, rubbing my face against the thin fabric of his boxer briefs.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
I gripped his dick and lightly smacked it. He moaned and I smacked it again. These niggas were freaks. Loved all of that outlandish, kinky shit so smacking his dick was more pleasure than pain.
Since he’d unbuckled his belt, I moved along.
Went back to number one and pulled his lengthy dick from his boxers.
He tilted his hips forward, eager for my lips.
I teased him. Teased them all. Gripped the middleman’s dick and slightly stroked it while I rubbed my face against number ones.
They moaned. All three of them. Even the last one who stood there getting nothing.
I was going to make him wait. Planned to suck his friends' dicks long and hard before I gave him anything.
I liked to drive them crazy.
Liked to take my time. But tonight wasn’t about taking my time or driving them crazy for as long as I could.
Tonight was about getting to the point. So, I didn’t spend much time sucking the first one's dick.
I sucked him passionately though. Stared up at him while I wrapped my lips around his dick, taking him down inch by inch, while I jerked his friend off.
My pussy gushed, contracted and pulsated.
Not because I was sooo turned on by them but because I thought about Crescent, remember?
I wanted his dick down my throat.
Wanted my hand wrapped around his dick.
So, as I thought about him, I gave them everything I would have given him.
They probably thought it was about them.
The show. The passion. The aggression. The power.
But it wasn’t. It was about someone else.
About something deeper. I didn’t care for them.
I never cared for them. I mean…unless you were Judah.
Time with him was different. But my days of fucking him were over.
Anyway.
Number one? He was loving it. Hissing. Gyrating his hips.
Trying to fuck my face. Trying to take control.
But I didn’t let him. Any time he would move a little more or try to grab my head, I pulled back and smacked his dick.
That got reactions out of the crowd. It seemed like he liked it.
He kept trying me until eventually I moved along.
Wrapped my dick around middleman’s curved dick and took him down my throat.
Thought about Duke sitting behind me, watching instead of that crowd…
instead of Judah. Thought about how it would destroy him.
I wondered… with my wet mouth bobbing up and down on another man’s dick…
if he’d feel the pain I felt. I wondered…
. If he’d care. I wondered if his chest would tighten.
And if his hands would get clammy. I wondered if his breathing would go labored and if he’d have panic attacks.
I wondered if he’d feel worthless and low like I felt then… even now.
I didn’t feel good, remember?
This wasn’t me anymore. Mocha was nice to hide behind but the truth of it was I was Mahogany. And I didn’t want to do this anymore.
I’d allowed him to subject me to bullshit.
But was it his fault completely? I was to blame right? I should have taken the easy way out. What was the point of any of it anyway? If he didn’t know? I wanted him to know. Needed him to know. This… silent revenge… it didn’t hit the same.
But I couldn’t tell him.
Duke would probably try to kill me. If he were actually behind me, bound to a chair, he would have been out of it minutes ago. The minute he saw me prance my sexy ass in the room. He would have found his way out of the cuffs. Probably would have broken his wrists to escape just to get to me.
“Shit baby,” the man in the middle mumbled. “Just like that.”
He was sexy.
His voice, scruffy and low. His eyes centered on me.
A second later, I felt one of them behind me.
Looking over to the side, I saw it was number one. The last man stayed still, hand wrapped around his dick, watching damn near foaming at the mouth.
When I felt number one's hands fumbling with my pants, I froze a little. Almost stopped. Almost told him to stop. But… I didn’t.
I helped him. Thought about Crescent and helped him.
He was eager again. Rushing. I let him. I was ready for it to be over.
The show. The theatrics. The sex. I just…
I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing on my knees sucking dick, getting ready to be fucked.
I didn’t really want it. I didn’t really want to be at Pandora’s.
But I let him get me out of my pants. And when I felt his lips on my bare ass cheeks, I tensed up a little.
Kept bobbing and weaving though. Kept sucking with passion.
Missed a beat a bit. Stopped seeing middleman for Crescent.
Reality began to engulf me. And… the crowd around me came alive.
The fantasy of Duke sitting behind me watching…
it faded too. And I remembered Judah again.
He knew I was married. This was different.
It was different. Every single moment of it.
I gagged.
Not because his dick was too big but because I lost focus.
I didn’t want a dick down my throat. I didn’t want to be Mocha.
I wanted to be Mahogany. A version of myself that I’d never been before.
I wanted to be free. I wanted to be happy.
I wanted to be whole. I didn’t… I didn’t want this.
I wanted to be loved. Properly. Not by Duke—by me.
This…
It wasn’t love.
It was hate.
I was treating myself worse than Duke treated me.
I deserved better.