Chapter 15 #2
“Let me go get situated, y’all,” I said, noticing Mahogany climbing the stairs.
I wanted to make it to the room before she did some wild shit like locked herself in there for the remainder of the day just to keep me out of there.
Hell, low key, I was thinking about posting up there just to make sure I had a soft bed to sleep in tonight.
“Okay! Can we have a movie night?” Asked Honesty.
“Ohhh yeah! Can we watch The Little Mermaid! With the black Ariel,” Sparkle said.
“We not trying to watch The Little Mermaid for the fiftieth time, Spark. God. We gotta take a vote on it.”
“Yeah, we can have a movie night. We gon’ have a vote, okay Spark?”
She pouted. “Little Mermaid is going to lose.”
“Maybe. If it does, we can watch it together tomorrow. Cool?”
She smiled. “Okay.”
“Aight bet,” I said, walking off to hurry up upstairs.
When I made it to the bedroom, Mahogany was taking clothes off the bed. She cut her eyes at me and took a deep breath.
“The kids want to have a movie night,” I said, leaning against the doorframe. “You joining us?"
"Do I have a choice?”
“Yeah… You have a choice.”
Snorting she said, “No… I really don’t.”
She was hinting at keeping up appearances. She used to be the same way when we had to do a family function in the middle of a fight.
“You gone hate me for the rest of my life, Ne?” I sadly asked, watching her move around the bedroom with an attitude.
She looked over at me. “I don’t hate you.”
“You act like it.”
She didn’t say anything. Took a deep breath and went to brush by me again. Except this time, I stopped her by delicately grabbing her arm. She went to snatch away, but I grabbed her tighter.
“I’m sorry.”
“No argument there. Let me go.”
“Give me thirty minutes, Ne. Thirty minutes to explain myself.”
That was all I needed. Thirty minutes of understanding.
Thirty minutes of her undivided attention.
Just to get her to understand. Just to get her to see.
I had to fight for my marriage. I had to fight for us.
I couldn’t let shit ride the way it’s been riding.
I needed to fix it but in order for me to even attempt, she had to allow me to.
“I don’t need an explanation. There’s nothing you can say to change what’s happening.”
With dipped brows, my eyes searched hers for an inkling of the Mahogany I fell in love with. I couldn’t find her. All I could see was pain, anger, and the hatred she said she didn’t have for me. I swallowed, took a deep breath, and shook my head. “Mahogany. Please.”
“You said we’re having a movie night… I need to run to the store to get snacks,” she said before roughly snatching away from me.
Before I could grab her again, she walked away fast as hell.
I rested my head against the doorway and let out a deep sigh.
What was I supposed to do? I looked up and silently asked the Lord for guidance.
With tears in my eyes, I begged him to give me insight.
Begged him to show me the way. To give me a sign.
To help me out. To throw me a fuckin bone.
Did I deserve that? Nah, not really. Maybe before Talia, yeah.
But shit hadn’t a nigga been through enough these past couple of months?
Shit, if you count the hell Mahogany had been putting me through since she forgave me last time, I’d say I’d been going through hell for years.
I just needed a break. Just a sprinkle of true, genuine happiness without feeling like a fuck up.
I wondered if he’d give me that. I wondered if he’d give me what I wanted.
Something in my heart told me that things were only going to get worse, though.
The next morning, I woke up before her. Turned over on my side as much as my broken ribs would allow and watched her sleep.
The sun hadn’t even come up yet; it was so early.
It felt good waking up next to her. Felt like completion.
Like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
Honestly. Nothing about it felt wrong. Nothing about it felt out of place.
Probably should have since we were going through what we were going through, but it didn’t.
I moved over a little and pressed my lips against her warm forehead, kissing her.
She didn’t move. I wanted to kiss her again.
Wanted to let my lips linger a bit. But I chose not to.
I didn’t want to disturb her. Didn’t want her to wake up in a fucked-up mood because I’d decided to put my lips on her.
Instead, I got out of bed and went to get the day started for her.
I first went to check on Honesty. She was up as usual, dressed, messing with her hair. After that, I got Spark up and went over to Aubry’s room.
She sat up on her elbows, rubbing her eyes. “Good morning, dad,” she spoke.
“Morning,” I said, as I was getting ready to close the door.
Before I could, she stopped me. “Wait. Can you come back for a second?”
With dipped brows, I walked back into the room and stood next to her bed. “Wassup?”
She took a deep breath. “I know something is going on between you and my mama. You don’t have to tell me but…” She paused and took another deep breath. “Whatever it is… can you fix it? Please?”
I raised my brows, a little speechless. Of course, she knew something was going on between us.
She was outside of the bedroom the day we fought.
Hiding what we were going through now from the kids was hard as hell.
Mahogany didn’t give a fuck about hiding it.
She participated in movie night, but she didn’t really participate.
She set up, popped the popcorn, laid out the snacks, and shit but spent the majority of time on her phone rather than watching Jumanji with us.
Running my tongue over my bottom lip, I shrugged. “I’m trying to, Bry.”
She shook her head and looked up at me with sad eyes. “Try harder.”
What was I supposed to say to that? How was I supposed to handle this?
My oldest daughter was telling me to fix something I didn’t think I could fix.
Telling me to make things right between her mom and I and I didn’t have the capacity to really do that.
I was trying. Probably wasn’t trying hard enough.
Nah. I wasn’t. All I’d been doing was begging, trying to get her to talk to me.
Shit like that. It wasn’t working. It was hell trying to get her to let me do that.
How in the hell was I going to do anything else?
I didn’t know but I planned on trying harder.
Not just for her and I—but for all of us.
I left Aubry’s room feeling heavier than I already did.
The stress of everything was weighing me down like crazy.
I stood in the hallway, against the wall for a good five minutes before I went and woke Gabe up.
He was the same way he was last night—dry and short with me.
I’d love to say I didn’t give a fuck. But I did.
I cared a lot. Gabe and I were the closest out of the kids but these days, he felt lightyears away.
After I got the kids up, I made a quick breakfast and got Mahogany’s morning tea ready.
She was receptive. Took it and thanked me but didn’t make eye contact with me.
Didn’t say a word to me for the rest of the morning either.
Soon after, the house was empty and I was left to devise a plan to get my family back on track.