26. 26
26
“Holy shit,I’d have mounted him right there.” Madison’s voice snickered through the phone.
Ava stopped brushing her teeth long enough to shout into the speaker, mouth full of white foam. “What was I supposed to do? His daughter came out just when things were getting heated up. I’m not gonna just jump the guy right there in the living room the second his daughter passes out again.”
“Why not? I woulda!” Madison chuckled. “Man, girl, you gotta nut up or shut up. You think you can just whine to me and not do something to change it, then you’ve come to the wrong friend.”
Ava spit into the basin. “I’m not whining .”
Madison remained silent on the other side of the phone.
“Shit. Okay, fine.Maybe I’m whining a little .”
“You should go see him today. Like during the day, when his kid’s at school, so she can’t cock-block y’all. If you can’t get time alone with him at his house, tackle him in that truck! I’m sure the seats go back.”
“Madison, I am an adult . I don’t fuck in vehicles anymore. I’m a grown-ass woman.”
“Dude, banging in a truck is hot! Especially when it’s all snowy outside. Fog up the windows… it’s like passionate.”
“It’s cramped, is what it is.”
“Do you wanna ride the bologna pony or what? I’m offering you solutions to your problems. Putnam said he’s cleaning her house today. Heard her bragging about it last week at the bar when she was downing her stupid gin and tonics. That woman is who I hope to be when I’m grown up.You should go over there. Wear a dress. No underwear -- for easy access -- and ambush him in his truck after. Test the shocks on that bitch.”
“Putnam? As in Lena Putnam? The chick over by the mountain whose husband owns that modular closet company?”
“Yeah. I idolize that bitch.”
“Why?” Ava started applying makeup in the mirror.
“Because even at 56, that woman gets more dick than a urinal. I’ve got rookie numbers compared to her.”
“Set your goals higher, Madison,” Ava teased.
“You might be happy being tethered to one cock for the rest of your life. For me, variety is the spice of life.”
“ Fine ,” Ava relented. “I’ll go seehim today.”
“Yesss! Atta girl!” Madison dropped her phone and picked it up again. “Whoops!”
“You alright over there?”
“Yeah, I’m always dropping this fucking thing like a bar ‘a soap in a prison shower.”
Ava shook her head, plucking the mascara out of a cubby on her counter.
“Have you told him about what you’re doing for him?”
“No, and don’t you blab. It’s still in the works.”
“It’s not too late to abort that plan, Harla. I still think it’stoo much.”
“Well, I think he’s going to like it.”
Madison sighed. “Ooooo-kayyyyy.”