35. 35
35
Ava stared long and hard at the colored creme paint in its little lidded cup,the same cobalt blue of Will Jessup’s eyes. She dipped her paintbrush in and swirled it, disturbing the unwelcome hold it had over her. The television quietly displayed CCTV footage of the last time a victim had been seen alive before his brutal slaying in 2006. The lead detective spoke in a recent interview, his voice grabbing her attention like a vice. It sounded just like Will. She glanced up, but the man’s face was weathered and mustached. Ava’s brush hesitated over the numbered shape on her piece.
How can someone be out of your life and yet still seem like they’re everywhere?
She returned her focus to the paint-by-number of a churning ocean wave and sighed loudly. Kuda perked up from his dog bed to look at her.
“Ugh. I’m too distracted to paint, Kuda.”
She snapped her paint cup closed to seal the air out and took the rinse mug filled with mocha-colored water to the kitchen. Kuda trotted closely behind. She put the cup in the sink and scanned the room for something worth doing.
Days had passed without a word from Will. No text . No call . No knock at the door.
Just annoying silence.
Suddenly, the dryer buzzed.
Thank God. Something to do.
Too stubborn to find a hamper, she carried the laundry to her bedroom in her arms, dropping stray items like breadcrumbs from the hefty heap. Kuda snatched up a red, lacy push-up bra and followed behind, ever the helper.
She plopped down the laundry on the bed she’d done a half-assed job of making. Thoughts of Will oozed from the recesses of her brain, like a bulging dam about to burst. His warm voice, the feel of his fingers slipping between her legs, those damn blue eyes… she couldn’t get him out of her mind.
Storming to her walk-in closet, she tugged open the doorand flickedon the overhead light. Snatchingempty hangers from the rail, tears pricked her eyes.
Goddammit … she tried to help , not control him.
Or… had she?
Had some part of her wanted to line things upconveniently tooffer more protection for her heart ?
Sure, she had trust issues, but how could trying to help him be so severely misconstrued? The last few weeks, she felt within reach of everything she ever wanted. A family. Love. Excitement. Yet, somehow, she managed to end up with none of it.
Wandering to the empty bed, she painfully recalled the night he lay beside her. She grabbed the pillow he’d used that nightwith trepidation, inhaling any scent trapped within it while her tears fell.The pillowcase had since been washed, but she could have sworn she could still faintly make out his scent.
Kuda hopped up on the bed, watching his owner’s crying eyes pinch closed. He took a few careful steps toward her, licking tears from her cheeks. His gentle kisses coaxed a chuckle from Ava. She scratched behind his ear and offereda pained smile. “Thank you, Kuda. I’ll be okay.”
The dog turned away, scratching and digging at the pile of remaining clothes, finally curling up like a bird in acloth nestagainst her back.There, they both slept away the remainder of the afternoon.