Chapter Ten
On Monday, Agnes decided she was going to learn to make goat cheese. She’d read the section in the homesteaders book multiple times, and she was certain she was ready.
All of her friends had enough milk to last them, so it was time to branch out. The process was slow, and painstaking, but in the end, it was worth it. She tried a bite when it was cooled, but it didn’t taste like much. She would need to age it.
When she met up with the other ladies for lunch on Tuesday, she told them about the cheese. “It’s very mild. I would go so far as to say too mild. But I’ll age it, and it should be better. Would any of you like to try a bit? To see what it would taste like before aging?”
All of the women agreed, and Agnes cut the small chunk of cheese she’d brought for the others to try.
To her surprise, Sally loved it just as it was.
“I’ve never really liked goat cheese. I think it has too strong of a flavor.
If you’re willing, I’d like to have it like this when you make it. Not aged.”
“Of course! I’ll take some to you later.” Agnes looked at Belle and Maggie.
“I need it aged,” Maggie said. “I agree that it’s too mild.”
Belle smiled. “I’m on the fence. I like it this way, but I know I like it aged as well. Perhaps you divide it evenly between our four households, and we each eat it when we’d like.”
“That’s a very good idea,” Agnes said, nodding. “I’ll divide it up this afternoon.”
“Should we just put it in the cold house?” Belle asked.
“I think if you want to age it there, you should,” Sally said. “But I’d prefer to take mine now to be used soon.”
“I’ll divide it, and you decide where it goes then,” Agnes said. “And Jasper said my cold house will be ready this weekend. The hay is dry and stored in the barn, and we have enough for winter. I feel like we’re getting close to being ready for snow.”
“I’m not!” Sally said. “I have so many more potatoes to harvest. They’re not quite ready yet.”
“Remember to let us know if you need help,” Belle reminded her.
“I will,” Sally said. “I think I can manage on my own.”
“How are Herbert and the girls doing?” Agnes asked.
“They’re doing great. I’ll be putting Herbert in with his harem in January, and we should have piglets in April. I want the girls to have two litters per year, so that will be about right.”
Belle rubbed her hands together. “Bacon. Lovely, wonderful bacon!”
They all laughed. It felt at times as if they were holding their breaths, waiting for bacon,
As they finished eating, Agnes stood. “I need to deal with my fish. Let me know when I’m on baby duty. I feel like I’ve been shirking my share.”
Belle shook her head. “We’ll all take turns again in the fall, which is the best season for hunting.
You keep smoking salmon and bringing us milk and cheese.
I wish we could make butter work, but after you told us how much harder it is to get enough cream to make butter, I know we’ll be better off with cheese. ”
“Perhaps Katie will start selling butter in the store,” Maggie said.
“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Agnes asked. “I do miss butter.”
Sally stood as well. “I’ll walk with you, Agnes, and I’ll get my share of the cheese, so you don’t need to deliver it.”
“Thank you,” Agnes said as she waved goodbye to Belle and Maggie. As soon as they were out of earshot of their friends, Agnes frowned. “I worry about Maggie. She looks almost sickly.”
“A lot of women do as they get close to their time,” Sally said. “Katie says she’s healthy.”
“And Katie delivers babies?”
Sally shrugged. “She delivered Belle’s and will deliver Maggie’s. There aren’t a lot of choices. The closest doctor is all the way in Skagway.”
“We certainly need someone closer than that,” Agnes agreed.
“How do you like married life?” Sally asked.
Agnes smiled. “I don’t think I’d enjoy it near as much with any other man. Jasper is...special. He makes my heart beat faster, and he’s so kind.”
“I feel the same about Tom. I don’t know how Elizabeth can make matches in the mail as she does, but I swear the woman is a genius!”
“I think a lot of it comes from how happy she is with her Bernard. The two of them just seem to understand each other without words.”
“I noticed that too!” Sally smiled. “I feel like Tom and I are getting to that point.”
“Do you love him?” Agnes asked.
“I do. A great deal. I wasn’t sure at first because he would barely speak to me, but now.
..things are wonderful. He has no complaints about how much I work, and he’s told me if I want to stop doing so much, he’d be fine with that as well.
I won’t say he’s perfect, because we all have our flaws, but he’s perfect for me. ”
“How did you know you were in love with him?”
Sally frowned as she thought about the question.
“I missed him when he was at work. I yearned for his touch, but don’t tell anyone I said that!
I...I suppose my feelings just grew. It never felt like there was one moment that I knew I loved him.
It was the small things. How I wanted to take care of him.
How I would get excited when it was time for him to come home.
” She shrugged. “I just knew. And he loves me as well, so all is well.”
“How did you know he loves you?”
Sally smiled. “I told him, and then he said he loves me as well. Nothing earth-shattering.”
“I think I love Jasper, but I’ve never been in love, and it’s hard to know if that’s what I really feel.”
“Tell him. I waited so much longer than I should have to tell Tom. Jasper has a right to know.”
“But...what if I tell him and then realize I’m wrong?”
“What if he died this afternoon, and he’d never heard you say it. How would that make you feel?”
Agnes thought over the question. “I’d feel terrible that he died not knowing I loved him.”
“I think you answered your own question then, didn’t you?” Sally smiled at Agnes, knowing her friend had figured it all out.
They’d reached Agnes’s cabin, and Agnes went down into the shallow cellar to get a fourth of the cheese. She carried it up, wrapped in a cloth, and gave it to her friend. “I didn’t make a lot yesterday. I wasn’t sure how much I should make. But this is a fourth of it.”
“Thank you! I should have barley for you later today. Maybe potatoes. I’m trying to give them as long as I can.”
“I’ll take what you give me and be very happy that I have it,” Agnes said, her mind still reeling as she thought about how she wanted to tell Jasper she loved him.
“Are you enjoying the fishing part of your job?” Sally asked.
Agnes nodded. “Yes, I am. It’s very repetitious, but I challenge myself to do it a little faster every day to make it more fun.”
“Sounds like you!” Sally said. “I think you set the record for the most dishes done in an hour back at the hotel.”
“I did. Timing myself made the work easier.”
“Well, thank you for the cheese, and I will be off to tend my garden. I’ll bring you a basket later.”
“Be ready to take some salmon with you.”
“Save me a couple of fresh salmon for our supper tonight if you don’t mind.”
“Of course I will! But don’t you fish for salmon?”
“I do, but I think I’m going to phase out the fishing. I have enough other things to do with the garden and the piglets.” Sally frowned. “As long as you’ll keep saving guts and heads for me.”
“I also saved whey from the cheese! The homesteading book said it was a good thing to add into pig slop.”
“I’ll take whatever you have! And remember to save table scraps. They love the variety of food in their trough.”
Agnes smiled. “I save it all. I’ll make you up a pail after I deal with the fish.”
“Perfect. Thank you! And Herbert and the girls thank you!”
“When you want, I’ll show you the goats.”
“Not today. We talked for too long, and I’m behind schedule.”
Agnes glanced at the clock. “I am too. I should be cleaning fish right now. Go away, Sally!”
Sally laughed as she hurried away.
After supper that evening, Agnes was still contemplating what Sally had said about regretting her choices if something happened to Jasper and he never knew she loved him. While he was out milking the goats, she thought and thought about how to tell him, and she finally decided to just say it.
After he’d set the milk pails on the counter, she looked up from the scarf she was knitting and got to her feet. She was shocked at how nervous she was. Surely, he’d be happy to know she loved him, but she didn’t want him to feel like he had to say it back. Would he feel pressured?
She got to her feet and walked close to him, putting her palms against his chest. “Looks like you got a lot of milk from the goats.”
“I did.” His brows were drawn together. He didn’t know what was on her mind, but he knew it was important to her and had nothing to do with the goats.
“Good. I love you.”
He stared at her for a moment, his gaze searching her eyes. “Are you certain?”
“I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t certain. Why would you even ask that?”
“Well, I didn’t want you to say it because you thought I expected it.”
She turned from him, rather annoyed by his response. “Well, that’s not why I said it.”
“I’m glad. Because I love you too.”
She turned back to him, looking at his face. “Really?”
He laughed, low in his throat. “Really. I love the way you take care of me. I love the way you go out of your way to cook things you know I like. I love how you’ve developed freckles from so much time in the sun.
But mostly, I just love you for who you are.
A hard-working woman who will do anything if she thinks it will help me.
You are the woman I’ve waited my entire life for, and I’m so glad you’re my wife. ”
She smiled then, believing him. “I’ve been worried all day about how to tell you.”
“You have?” he asked.
She nodded. “But I’m glad I told you now that I have.”
“I’m glad you told me as well.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. “And now I’m going to show you how much I love you.”
“I will never complain about that.”