Major Love

Prologue

Sunday

Age 17

I’ve spent the past two hours getting ready in my bedroom, my heart pounding at a mile a minute as I think about everything that tonight signifies.

For me.

For us.

Prom night.

And he asked me.

I’ve only just turned seventeen, but I’m about to get picked up by a senior.

And not just any senior.

Jason Coleson.

Stunning tan skin from all of the summers working outside with his older brother, and bigger than any lineman the football team has ever seen, it’s no secret that I’ve been harbouring a crush for Jason Coleson since the very first day of my freshman year.

And even though I can get undeniably shy around him sometimes, from the way that he smiles at me in the hallways, I know that he’s always had a soft spot for me.

He’s been friends with my brother Casey since they were fourteen years old, and, once they graduate this fall, they’re both enlisting at the military academy on the other side of the States.

When Jason first told me that he was enlisting, I’d been dismayed. I mean, I still have a year left at high school, and I don’t even want to go to college.

How am I supposed to have a life with someone if they’re gone half the time?

But then I told my mom about it and she sat me down in my room, a kind smile in her eyes as she placed her hand over mine.

My biological dad had literally never been in the picture, and even though Casey had been around him as a baby, he didn’t remember any details.

So it was just my mom, Casey, and me – until five years ago.

Because the second that Cash Anders walked onto the scene, our lives changed forever.

Cash, a Tennessee native, had returned to the States after a particularly long deployment overseas, and by fate he’d somehow drifted into our small town of Phoenix Falls.

No family, no strings – the perfect recipe for a life of bachelorhood – but the moment that he saw my mom, that was it for them.

They fell fast and hard, but they didn’t pursue anything romantic until he’d completed two more missions, because not everyone can handle the potential complications that come with having a long-distance military partner.

But as soon as that second mission was over, Cash came back and moved straight in, immediately footing my mom’s bills and showing us the gentle love of an incredible father figure.

And it was beautiful.

Saturday nights watching movies, Sunday mornings in the lake… I swear, if it hadn’t been for Cash, Casey would never have developed his fascination with freshwater swimming. Like, he does it now all the time . Even when Cash is away, Casey and his friends haul ass to the water, and Case can stay down there for hours, just lazing in the sun-trap between the pines.

So my mom laid it out for me, just like that.

That, even though Cash was away serving our country for a lot of the time, the time that we spent with him made up for all the time lost.

And, even though she had some regrets, falling for Cash would never be one of them.

Her words were so profound that I’d scribbled them over and over again in my journal, holding the baby blue book against my chest as I stared up at the ceiling from my pillows.

Cash, Casey, and Jason… three guys who meant so much to me, all for totally different reasons.

And, no matter what happened, I would never regret loving any of them.

I could see why Casey wanted to follow in Cash’s footsteps, and I knew that Jason had people close to him who had also served our country.

They had felt that awe-inspiring pull, and it would be cruel to try and deter them.

And, besides, Casey wasn’t the only one who had been influenced by Cash.

Because if Cash hadn’t been in our lives, I wouldn’t be preparing to go to Nashville .

I haven’t been to Nashville before, but we’ve got a plan. When Cash gets back from deployment this time, he’s taking us to Tennessee.

And he’s going to show me the bar that he’s about to propose to my mom in.

They’ve been visiting it once a year since they first started dating – a tradition that began after he’d flown her there for their first official date.

It’s one of the smallest bars on Broadway, but Cash says it’s different from the rest.

The country songs they play are slower, the string-lights are a little darker, and there’s a romance in the air that makes the whole place feel like home.

Rich wood, red neon, live bands that you can slow-dance to…

It sounds freaking magical, and I can’t wait for him to take us.

And even without having stepped a single cowgirl boot through the door, I’ve already decided that it’s going to be the place for me. When I graduate from high school I’m going to move to Nashville, get a job at that tiny bar, and turn it into something that Cash will be forever proud of.

And because one of my greatest joys in life is making our step-dad proud, I can’t exactly dissuade Casey from wanting to do the same.

I can’t stop Casey from joining the Army, and I can’t stop Jason, either.

Even if, secretly, I really, really don’t want him to go.

But we still have tonight – the first time that he’s officially asked me out – and I know what it means for us to be seen together at our prom.

In front of my brother, in front of his friends…

Jason is telling everyone how it’s going to be from now on.

That we’re making this thing official before he leaves for the service academy.

The handsome smiles that he gives me from across the football field, the way that he always saves me a spot at their table in the cafeteria… even when I’m feeling shy, Jason is always looking out for me, giving me rides and holding doors open like I’m the centre of his world.

So I’ve gone all out tonight, for our first and final prom. I carefully gathered my accumulated pocket money and bought the most beautiful dress that I can afford.

Sparkling tulle straps, a perfectly fitted bodice, and a stunning ball gown skirt that goes down below my knees, all in the softest baby blue fabric that I can barely keep my hands off as I finally race out of my room, ready to hitch my ride.

My skin is sun-kissed, my curls are fluffed, and I’m even wearing mascara to extenuate the length of my lashes.

I feel happy – truly happy – and so ready for Jason to see me.

I’m about to tumble into the living room in a haze of baby blue sparkles and tulle, when my mom suddenly steps out, holding our home phone against her chest.

And it takes me less than a second to register the fact that something’s wrong.

Casey already left the house half an hour ago, and it’s just my mom and me left at home.

What could have possibly happened in half an hour? I think to myself.

But it only takes a moment to change the course of a life.

“Mom?” I ask gently, before quickly looking down at my pretty tulle skirt.

Is my dress twisted? I wonder. Did I go too far with the mascara?

But when I look back up, I know that it has nothing to do with the dress, or the mascara, or anything that tonight was supposed to be about.

It’s about something else entirely, and I touch my stomach, suddenly nervous.

“Mom?” I ask again, my voice more breathless now as I look up at her.

She exhales slowly, maintaining her calm demeanour, but she squeezes the phone against her chest, cradling it to her heart like she can’t let go.

And, even before she says it, it’s like my body already knows.

Because we don’t get random calls on our landline phone.

We only ever get calls from Cash.

Cash, whose deployment was extended two weeks ago.

Cash, who was supposed to be home by next month.

Cash.

“Oh my God,” I whisper, stumbling over my ballet flats on the hallway floor, my world tilting on its axis as my heart begins to thunder.

I know what she’s going to say.

I just know it, deep in my soul.

“Sunday,” my mom starts, wincing like there’s a pain deep in her chest.

Like her heart is cracking in two.

“I just got a call,” she tells me, her words gentle and slow. “And according to the guys on the phone… there was an incident, Sunday.”

No.

I back up a step.

Please, please, no.

“And Cash… he was there.”

My back hits the door behind me, my body too numb to register the impact.

My mom shakes her head.

“He didn’t make it, Sunday.”

My chest hitches on a deep inhale, but my lungs feel too tight to draw in the air.

So I suck in another breath, clutching my heart to no avail.

It’s already breaking. The damage is already done.

And before either of us can say anything, the phone blares in my mom’s hand, making both of us jump before she hesitates and hits the answer button.

And the second that I hear a whisper of what they’re talking about across the line – the details of an event that I can’t bear to comprehend right now – I’m picking up my ballet flats and racing out of the house, the screen door slamming shut behind me as I fly down the grass that lines our drive.

My breathing is rasping and heavy, my chest shaking as I hold back quiet sobs, and then a large truck is rounding the corner, just as my bare feet hit the sidewalk.

The black truck pulls up in front of me and my heart beats a little harder – because he hasn’t actually seen me yet, and I’m about to cut our night short.

I’m about to cut everything short.

There’s no way that I can go to the prom.

And there’s no way that I can be with him.

Another man that I love turning into a soldier… something that can be taken from my grasp as easily as smoke in the wind…

I swipe my wrist over my cheeks as Jason steps down from the driver’s side, quickly so that he won’t catch the movement, before he rounds the hood toward me.

My lips part, my heart hammering, as I take in how handsome he looks tonight.

I’ve never seen him in a suit before, and it’s going to be burned into my memory forever – the way that his midnight blue jacket is slightly too tight for his enormous shoulders, and the deep contrast of his white shirt against the rich glow of his bronzed skin.

And the crimson flush on his cheekbones as he cautiously lifts his gaze up my dress, barely allowing himself to glance at the bodice before his eyes finally meet mine.

And then he sees.

He always reads me so well.

“Sunday?” he asks, his strong brow creasing as he steps toward me. His striking eyes search mine and I look away, feeling helpless. Wetness trickles down my jaw, hitting my chest beneath the tulle.

Jason’s warmth radiates over me, his body barely an inch from mine, and then he’s ducking down so that he’s more my height, making me meet his eyes as my lower lip trembles.

“Sunday,” he says gently, his brow arched in worry as I swipe my eyes.

“I… I can’t talk about it,” I pant quietly, my voice light and rasping as I swallow down another waterfall of tears. I would tell Jason anything but, right this second, I can hardly breathe.

He glances toward the house, maybe checking to see if my mom is at the window, watching us, and then his eyes drop down to my toes, the soft baby blue polish shimmering in the evening light.

His chest swells on a deep inhale, his expression concerned as he meets my eyes.

And then I can’t hold back anymore.

I fling my arms around his neck, and bury my face against his shirt, as I cry painful silent tears that sear my lungs with every breath.

He immediately stands to his full height, lifting my bare feet from the ground and wrapping his large forearms around my back as he strokes my hair, consoling me gently.

I can hear the faint chords of a country song playing on his truck’s radio, his key still in the ignition because he expected this to be a quick pick-up-and-go to the prom.

My heart squeezes harder at that because I’m pretty sure that Jason couldn’t care less about music – like, literally, any type of music, but he’s tuned his radio to this station just for me.

“It’s my step-dad,” I rasp shakily, and I feel Jason’s arms tighten, clutching me closer. “My mom just got a call,” I whisper, and his chest swells, understanding beginning to dawn.

Because being friends with Casey, Jason has met Cash a number of times, and they bonded really well, especially because he’s about to follow in his footsteps.

Jason knows what Cash does for a living.

And he knows what can happen in that line of work.

Jason pulls back half an inch so that he can look down at me as he holds me tight, his beautiful eyes boring into mine as hot tears streak down my cheeks.

I shake my head, overwhelmed, as I manage to whisper the words breathlessly out.

“He’s gone,” I rasp, and the second that I say it, it’s finally true, causing me to gasp and squeeze my eyes shut, barely able to inhale through the agony.

Jason exhales roughly and cups his palm around my cheek, his thumb swiping beneath my lashes as silent tears continue to fall.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his deep voice a refuge in this heartbreaking night, and I clutch him closer, feeling his heart against mine and savouring his warmth like it’s the last time I’ll ever feel it.

And, as I exhale quietly, I realise that’s about to be true.

“Jason,” I pant, feeling his chest rise and fall against my dress, his large palm caressing my nape before he tucks his fingers into my hair.

“Yeah,” he murmurs back to me, his voice quiet and gruff.

“Do you remember before, when I said I’d be alright with you moving away? I think… because of this… with what’s just happened…”

I look up at him from under my lashes and he drops his forehead to mine, his breathing heavy.

“I’ll drop out of the academy,” he says immediately. “I would never put you through that. You know I wouldn’t.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” I whisper back, and then I’m squeezing my eyes closed again. Willing the tears to stop, willing the pain to end.

He cups the back of my head in his strong palm and lets me bury my face in the heat of his chest.

“People resent people who take their dreams away from them,” I whisper. “I don’t want you to resent me, and I don’t want you to change.”

And I love you just the way you are… but I can’t lose another soldier.

Because if I asked him to drop out, he would freaking do it. But after ten years went by, he would never stop thinking about the what ifs. What if he had enrolled and graduated. What if he had worked his way up the ranks of the Army.

It’s been Jason and Casey’s goal to earn the highest enlisted rank since they were freshmen , and I know it would be detrimental to our relationship in the long run if I took that possibility away from him.

At the end of the day, we’re free to live however we choose, and you have to trust the people that you love to do just that.

And if your hearts are meant to be, that love will somehow come back to you.

“Sunday,” he starts, but I shake my head, and his chest heaves. “What are you saying?” he asks quietly, and I shiver as his stubble rasps over my cheek.

“We can’t do this,” I whisper back to him, and he exhales hard, his breathing shallow.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he tells me gruffly.

I slip down from his arms, my bare feet touching the blacktop.

“We still have tonight,” I whisper up to him, and his jaw flexes, his pupils flaring.

“Sunday,” he murmurs, warningly this time, his hands enveloping around my waist as he flicks another glance to the small house behind me. “We can’t do that,” he rumbles. “Not if we don’t make this official before I leave.”

He brushes another rivulet of tears from the blushing apple of my cheek, and then he helps hold me steady as I ease my ballet flats on my feet.

I can see that he knows that there’s no way we can go to the prom, and he’s probably wondering if he should take me back inside. So I clutch his biceps, large and firm beneath the dark suit, and plead, “I can’t go back in there right now. I can’t be in that house. Please.”

His eyes drop to my mouth as his palms move down my hips, and I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, making him gather my body against his chest.

“Where do you want to go?” he murmurs. “I’ll take you anywhere.”

“Then take me there,” I whisper back to him. “Anywhere but here.”

He nods once and strokes my jaw, inhaling deeply before he meets my eyes.

“How long do we have?” he asks roughly.

I feel my heart flutter. “Just tonight.”

“I need to fill the tank up at the gas station,” he says. “But then we’ll floor it up the mountains.”

“Until we hit the state lines?” I whisper.

“Pedal to the metal, baby.”

His forehead nudges mine and my heart soars in my chest.

“No hitting the brakes?” I ask breathlessly.

He brackets my jaw in his hand. “No hitting the brakes.”

I sniffle and nod my head, relief and gratitude coursing through my chest.

Just Jason and me, hitting the road, all night long.

He’s always known exactly what I need.

He twines his fingers through mine and walks me quickly to the passenger side of his truck, opening the door and helping me up, before waiting with his forearm on the roof as I strap myself in.

Then he’s rounding the hood and dipping inside, meeting my eyes as he tugs on his seatbelt.

His irises flicker as he watches me for a beat, and then he leans over the centre console, making my heart thunder beneath my dress as he presses a gentle kiss against my cheek.

Molten heat pools low in my belly, and I swallow quietly as I squeeze my hands above my thighs.

He pulls back an inch and brushes one of my curls with his coarse fingers.

“Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmurs deeply.

Then he settles into his seat and eases his boot down on the pedal.

He takes my hand in his.

And then he drives.