Chapter 40
Sunday
I press my cowgirl boot to the brake as I reach the parking spot where Jason’s truck had been – right beside Casey’s before I’d peeled out of the lot.
I blink in confusion at the empty space, blowing a loose curl away from my forehead.
Jason’s truck isn’t here anymore… but the rest of his crew still is.
I slowly ease Casey’s vehicle into the space where I’d parked it before, trying to calm the quickening of my heartbeat as I step down from the truck and into the snow.
I close the door behind me and turn in a slow circle, before finally coming to the conclusion that he’s not on site anymore.
I gnaw on my lip as my brow creases.
Where the hell did he go?
Did he… did he get mad? When he found the note? Or is he somewhere on the highway, chasing after me right now?
I fold my arms over my chest, shivering as the icy snowflakes kiss my cheeks, and then I flick a glance toward the diner when I sense someone watching me.
And Beckett’s brow almost touches his hairline as his big fist pauses in midair, holding a lighter beneath his unlit cigarette as we lock eyes across the lot.
And then he does an immediate U-turn, trudging as quickly as he can back toward the diner.
“Wait!” I call out, running as carefully as I can across the snowy lot.
“Hell no,” he all but growls, but I’m faster than he is, and I manage to get a mitten around his forearm before the little bell tinkles over the diner door.
He breathes hard in exasperation before reluctantly dropping his eyes down to meet mine.
“What?” he asks gruffly, even though he knows exactly what I want to know.
If he didn’t know what I wanted to know, then he wouldn’t be running away from me, would he?
“Where is he?” I ask breathlessly. “Jason’s truck is gone – where did he go?”
Beckett cocks an eyebrow as he pockets his lighter and his cigarette. “Babe, if you hadn’t skipped out on him then you could’ve asked him that yourself.”
“Thanks, Mr Hindsight,” I deadpan, dropping my mitten to my side and rolling my eyes. “But I’m not in the mood to have my time wasted – do you know where he is or not?”
Beckett stares down at me blankly for a long moment. Then he rumbles, “You don’t wanna know.”
“Beckett,” I breathe out warningly.
“I’m serious. You don’t.”
“Where could he possibly go that would be that bad…?” I start to say, but then I slowly trail off as I lift my eyes back up to his.
If he’s left a job mid-gig… there’s only one reason why.
I breathe out a shaky exhale, my eyes searching Beckett’s as he watches me.
“Did he get a search-and-rescue call?” I ask, my voice quieter than I mean for it to be.
But Beckett doesn’t even need to answer the question – he just shoves his tongue in his cheek, breathing hard.
“I want to see him,” I say raspily.
Beckett huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “No fucking way am I giving you the location if you’re planning on going after him.”
“I’m not going to climb the freaking mountain, Beckett!” I exclaim. “But I would like to be there, waiting at the bottom for him – I want him to know that I’m staying in Phoenix Falls, and I want him to know that the second he gets down.”
Beckett clenches and unclenches his jaw, his eyes all but scorching a hole through my skull.
And after a long fifteen second stand-off, he exhales roughly and looks away from me.
“Bear Pass. That’s where he is. But you didn’t hear that from me,” he rumbles.
And I clutch a hand over my chest, my heart pounding like a jackhammer, knowing how much danger riding up that mountain will be putting Jason in right now.
But being at risk like that in order to save the lives of others… it’s always been who he is and, even though it scares me, I admire him for it. And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, first with Cash and even now with Casey, it’s that time doesn’t stop for anyone, and you have to embrace every moment – because nothing is guaranteed so who knows what’ll happen next?
I trust Jason and I want him, and I’m going to show him how much I appreciate him by supporting the life he chooses.
And if that means supporting him riding that enormous snowmobile lightning fast to rescue civilians from mountain ridges… so be it.
Because I want every moment that I can get with him.
“Thank you,” I tell Beckett, my voice husky as I try to calm my nerves.
And then I’m pounding the snow back across the lot, my hands shaking as I try to pull open the door – and I’m mentally berating myself because I shouldn’t have tried to go back to Nashville in the first place.
If I hadn’t left, then I could have kissed Jason goodbye before he headed up to Bear Pass.
Karma , I think to myself. She never misses.
I climb up onto the driver’s seat and start closing the door, but then I pause as I realise that I have no idea how to get to Bear Pass.
And, even if I did, knowing my past experience on the upper mountain roads, I might get stuck before I’ve even reached it.
“Shit,” I whisper, blinking at my reflection in the visor mirror.
And in the next second I’m yelping as someone knocks gently against the driver’s window.
I press my mitten over my thundering heart before pushing open the door and looking nervously up at Beckett.
He’s not going to try and stop me from heading to Bear Pass, is he?
He shoves his big hands in his pockets and sighs quietly as he meets my eyes.
“You don’t know how to get up there, do you?” he asks.
I hesitate for a moment before reluctantly whispering, “No, but it’s okay – I’ve got a navigation device. And I only got stuck up those roads once before.”
“Jesus Christ,” Beckett mumbles, before turning around and trudging to another large truck. He unlocks it and pulls open the passenger door, glancing back at me over his shoulder. “Come on, I’ll take you.”
*
As soon as Beckett slows the car and starts pulling up at the base of the mountain, two large search-and-rescue trucks in front of us, becoming obscured by the quickly falling snow, I’m ripping my seat-belt out of the holder and swinging open the passenger side door.
“Don’t go past the trucks, okay?” he calls out to me, a deep frown on his brow as I drop down to the snow beneath us.
“I promise,” I call back to him, the running engines ahead almost requiring me to shout, and he gives me a nod of acquiescence before I begin racing toward the clearing at the base of Bear Pass.
To my surprise, the makeshift lot actually has other cars in it – vehicles belonging to more experienced hikers who are used to this kind of weather and who stick to the lower valleys, rather than climbing the incline into the trees.
And because of that I allow myself to keep on running, snow whipping against my cheeks as I reach the cordoned line, separating the other cars from where a large black snowmobile has braked at the mountain’s base.
And my heart pounds faster because I know that snowmobile.
I don’t know how long the search-and-rescue team has been out here but I spot the injured hiker through a window in one of the trucks – a young guy who can’t be more than nineteen looking a little shaken as the crew inspect a wound. Even though I don’t know him, I feel the warm spread of relief at his rescue, and awe toward the team who managed to get him down from there so safely.
And then the big figure of a man in a black search-and-rescue uniform comes into view, snow sticking to the breadth of his shoulders as he finishes shoving rescue supplies in the back of a vehicle.
And my heart swells in my chest as his eyes meet mine.
His large body stills, because I was supposed to be on route to Nashville right now, but then he tears his gloves off and he strides right for me.
I run as fast as I can through the gaps between the trucks and then I’m crashing into his chest as his solid arms wrap tightly around me.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper against him, my heart warming as he gently cups the back of my head, those large palms holding me steady as we press together under the pelting snow. “I should never have left without saying goodbye,” I rasp. “I should never have left, period.”
“I shouldn’t have let you leave,” he says back to me. “The second that I saw your note, I was coming after you.”
And my heart squeezes as I peek up at him, a snowflake kissing the tip of my nose as he looks down at me.
He brushes his thumb softly over it and then drops his forehead gently down to mine.
“I’m sorry that I had to do a job up in Bear Pass,” he murmurs, and I clutch him tighter, wanting to feel his strong heartbeat against mine.
“I trust you,” I whisper back to him, and he exhales roughly, his hands in my hair. “And I’m not going to let my fears stop me from living my life anymore. I’m done being afraid. If all I have is today, then I’m going to make it count.”
“Sunday,” he rumbles, breathing out a gentle laugh as he searches my eyes.
“I don’t mean to get too deep,” I whisper, “but you know what I mean.”
Life is made up of a multitude of moments, and if I’m constantly scared of tomorrow, then I’m not living today.
And if today is all that counts, then I’m going to make sure that it’s a good one.
“I know what you mean,” he murmurs back to me, before letting me see that handsome smile.
And I can’t help but beam up at him, lifting onto my tip-toes so that I can give him a gentle kiss.
He cups my jaw and reaches down, groaning quietly as our lips meet, and then he caresses my mouth slowly with his, exhaling hard as I pull him closer.
“Not here,” he murmurs roughly, and I fight back a smile, hearing the hunger in his voice.
“By the way,” I decide to whisper, in case it wasn’t obvious now that I’m here. “I’m not going to Nashville to decline the offer. I sent the email, and I’m staying here.”
And Jason’s large palms grip my waist, his chest heaving as he looks down at me.
“You serious?” he asks, his deep voice hoarse with need, and I nod up at him, stroking his stubble as he exhales quietly.
“So serious,” I whisper. “Why would I ever want to be anywhere else? Besides,” I add teasingly, “they don’t have mountain men down in Nashville.”
Jason rubs his warm palms up my back, his cheekbones turning crimson as he tries to hide his stunning smile.
“Bet they fucking don’t,” he rumbles quietly, before leaning down again and pressing the softest kiss against my lips. “And, sweetheart?” he says gently.
“Yes?”
“I’ve always loved you.”
My breathing hitches and my heart explodes, but I don’t have a single moment to respond as Jason kisses me again.
All I can do is hold him closer.
“I love you,” he murmurs again, and I exhale shakily, my palms on his chest.
“I love you, too,” I whisper back to him. “It’s always been you.”
A deep growl rumbles in his chest and then I’m giggling delightedly as he threads his fingers through my hair and caresses my lips, slow and sweet.
And I know that this is exactly where we’re both supposed to be.
Jason Coleson was my first love, and I always knew that he would be my last.
Because he’s always been it for me.
The major love of my life.