Chapter 2
TWO
I cleared the sleep from my eyes to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming about the man who was standing at my door—right in front of me.
“What? What time is it?”
“You worried about the wrong thing, Mommas. Answer the question.”
“Makai, it must be past midnight.”
“It’s not. Now, answer the fucking question.”
His passive aggression made my nipples swell in my tank.
“You done crying ’bout that nigga?”
With confidence, I nodded. “Yes. I am.”
“Good. You handle that situation?”
His eyes lowered to my belly.
“Yes.”
“Good. Pack a bag with clothes fit for the season and pack it within the next five minutes. I’m taking you on a date.”
“Makai, what date requires me to pack clothing, and is happening at midnight?” Yawning, I probed.
When my eyes reopened after closing momentarily, I was no longer staring at the face of the handsome man that I could barely see in the dead of the night. It was his back that faced me now as he turned to leave.
“Wait,” I called out, stopping him in his tracks.
Barefoot, I tiptoed in his direction until I noticed him rushing in mine. In an instant, his hands were on my waist as he pushed me backward, step by step until we were inside my apartment with the door shut behind us.
My breath was lodged in my chest, unable to escape. With big, bulging eyes, I waited for him to speak, to move, to do anything but look at me the way he was looking at me with those dark, aggrieved eyes. Many nights, I’d imagined his hands right where they were planted just before his lips crashed into mine and our journey began.
“You trying to make me catch a body tonight, Mommas?” Tilting his head, he asked me.
“Hmm?”
“Don’t step foot outside of your door dressed like this. I ain’t never been to jail on no serious shit, but I wouldn’t mind going for the right reason.”
“You were about to leave,” I explained, finally able to release my breath.
“Because I’m not in the business of convincing you. Either you rolling with a nigga or you not. It’s simple.”
There it was again. The way he spoke without reservation of his words, yet voiced them with a gentleness that soothed the ache they had the potential to cause, left me dazed.
“Five minutes?” I was swimming in his cologne. There wasn’t a night out on the town that I could remember leaving me as intoxicated as the liquid he’d spritzed his skin with.
“Five minutes,” he repeated.
“Five minutes.” Nodding, I followed with the same statement.
My chin lowered near my chest while I tried to gain control of myself. I weighed the pros and cons of agreeing to follow Makai into the darkness. The pros were winning by a landslide. Because I was beyond my ninety-day probation period at Berkeley Presbyterian, I was free to take some time off. With my schedule including two days off schedule, adding a few more, if need be, didn’t sound so bad.
“I’m not fucking with it if you ain’t sure ’bout it, sure ’bout me. You got the number, Mommas. Just hit me when you’re ready for a nigga.”
He released me from his grasp and twisted the knob of my door, opening it in preparation to leave. I shut it, protesting his stance. My hand rested atop his, pulling it until it fell from the handle.
“Five minutes. I’ll be ready in five minutes.”
“I’ll be here.”
He opened the door, sinking my heart into my stomach. The panic was apparent, altering my features and stopping him in his tracks.
“Right outside,” he clarified with a chuckle, exposing his single dimple.
“Okay. Five minutes.”
“Five minutes.”
Nodding, he left me alone to run through the house without a clue as to what I was doing, where I was going, and why I’d agreed to a date that included more than one night’s stay. Somehow, someway, I cared less about anything other than being in his space, again. Though it had only been for a little while on that day three months ago, finding my way back was something I’d considered on several occasions.
I slung my suitcase on top of the bed and emptied its contents. It felt like an eternity since I’d stepped foot outside of Berkeley. From the moment I began nursing school, life almost completely stopped for me. My head was in my books. Hardly anything else mattered. The excitement that began stirring in the pit of my stomach was evidence that I needed this break from reality as much as Makai wanted me to have it.
Hygiene supplies, makeup, swimsuits, panties, bras, shirts, bottoms, dresses, they were all tossed inside my bag or over my arm at random. Every few seconds, I checked the time on my phone, making sure I wasn’t running behind. When I learned the five minutes had elapsed, I slipped on the Coach slides near the door and headed out. It wasn’t until the mugginess of the night hit my thighs that I realized I’d rushed out in the same attire that Makai had forbade.
Because I was already halfway to his truck, I continued. The driver’s door opened and his head appeared between the gap. His dark eyes penetrated me, lodging an arrow in the center of my chest. His frustration with my disobedience was written all over his face, bringing a smile to mine. I could feel the exposure of nearly all thirty-two of my teeth as the midnight air kissed them one by one.
Makai’s long, lean body rounded his truck in a matter of seconds. The distance between us had been obliterated, swiping the smile off my lips. He was far too close, smelling, and looking far too good. Blinking away the enchantment, I tried focusing on something— anything —other than his beauty.
My suitcase was ripped from my hands in the most precious manner. He leaned forward after tossing it inside. When he stood upright again, he wasn’t empty-handed.
“Here.” He grimaced, handing me a pair of black leggings.
The smile I’d tucked away reappeared as he slammed the back door and opened the one I was reaching for. When I turned to slip into the truck, I noticed he hadn’t moved an inch.
“What’s the matter, Makai?” The words fell from my lips before I could stop them.
“Don’t get fucked up, Mommas.”
The snickering of mine that followed left him with flared nostrils and a tilted head. Slamming the passenger door, he warned, “Aight, keep that shit up.”
Unsure of what he was referring to exactly, I disregarded the warning as soon as he settled next to me. The clothes that rested on my arm began to tip over as I struggled with the leggings in my free hand. Deciding it was best to get them settled in my suitcase before slipping them on, I began sorting through the pieces.
One after the other, I folded them on my lap in preparation for transfer. Though I couldn’t quite confirm, I could feel the heat radiating from Makai’s vision as he stared holes into the side of my leg. The pressure of his glare became overbearing, beckoning for every ounce of strength I had in my body.
Angling my torso in his direction, I waited for his pensive nature to absorb his ability to remain silent. The wait wasn’t lengthy at all. He spilled his thoughts and let me know exactly what was on his mind.
“Put it in the suitcase with the rest of that shit and leave it in the backseat when we reach the plane.”
Slightly offended by his disapproval, I cut my eyes toward the clothes on my lap. It was then that I came to the conclusion that I hadn’t been wise with my selection. There were better clothes in my closet, but the time restriction influenced the impulsiveness of my selections.
“Being that I only had a few minut?—”
“That’s my fuck up, so I’ma fix it.”
Agreeing with his logic, I watched him toss the clothes in the back seat, one handful at a time. When my hands and legs were free, I remembered the additional task on my agenda. Black, stretchy fabric awaited a stretch. My hands clutched the waistband of the lounge shorts clinging to my body. I pulled them downward, exposing the seamless, beige thong that covered my hairless vagina.
Because the fabric matched my skin tone, the illusion of nudity complicated the moment. Sweat beads drew close to the surface of my skin, making me tingle all over as heat rushed throughout my body. My head collided with the window with a thud.
“Shit,” Makai grunted, regretful of the mistake he’d made.
Tunnel vision disclosed the issue. We’d veered into a lane that wasn’t ours to have at the moment.
“Eyes on the road, Makai,” I begged.
A silent nod was the only satisfaction offered. In a matter of seconds, our eyes met. Tossing both hands in the air, he released the sweetest sound from his lips. The sound of laughter. As if the angels had come down and tickled my heart themselves, I felt fuzziness all over. Involuntarily, my cheeks peaked and my lips stretched across my face.
“Eyes on the road, sir.”
“Aight. Aight.”
Giddiness covered me, making the young girl trapped inside of me blush with happiness. I stepped out of the shorts and replaced them with the leggings before lowering my butt onto the seat again. When I finally settled, my eyes roamed until they landed on the target. His dark orbs rested on me.
Shaking his head, he gripped the steering wheel tighter and redirected his line of vision. He’d been caught. The smirk on his face brought on unfamiliar feelings, holding residency in my heart as if it had the right. As if he had the right. I cut my eyes toward the road, waiting for the pieces of me that he was chipping away at and claiming as his own to be returned.
Too soon, Glacier , I warned. Falling hard and falling fast was my downfall. It always had been. But this man, he was giving me a few more reasons with each passing second. Slamming my eyelids shut, I chastised my heart’s vulnerability. Tighten up, babes .
Music was the perfect distraction. I didn’t recognize the song that blasted through the speakers after Makai toyed with a few buttons. However, I welcomed it, nonetheless. Lyrics were rapidly smeared across instruments, blending perfectly.
It wasn’t until we were entering a private portal for private aircrafts that I noticed we were never headed in the airport’s direction. Makai switched gears once we were within a few feet of the steps that would lead us inside. Anxiety crept up my spine, clouding my judgment and immobilizing me, simultaneously.
My hesitancy registered with Makai almost immediately. His long legs circled the vehicle with haste, stopping just shy of the passenger door so that he was able to open it without plowing into his body.
“Fix your face, pretty.”
Forging a smile, I turned my lips upward.
“You want to hit this blunt to calm your nerves?” he asked, offering me the drugs he’d pulled from behind his ear. Where it had come from, I wasn’t sure but I hadn’t seen it until now.
“I don’t smoke,” I shared.
“It’s liquor on the plane if you prefer it.”
“I’m okay. Just a lit—just my nerves.”
“You with me, Mommas. There’s no safer, better place to be. I’ll stand on that, any time, any place.”
Believing every word he said and clinging to them like paint on a brush prepared to create an artful masterpiece, I took the hand he was extending. With me trailing behind him, we climbed the stairs and made our way onboard. To my surprise, we weren’t alone. There were people onboard already, everyone dressed in pricey threads shattering the confidence I’d conjured on the way up the steps.
Wow . Black excellence stared back at me. I wasn’t sure what anyone staring back at me did for a living, but whatever it was paid well. Very well. Even the air was different in the space they occupied. Elegance. Class. Haughtiness. Wealth. Beauty. Arrogance. They were only a few words that came to mind at the sight before me.
“About fucking time!” the slim one yelled out.
“Well, that was worth the fucking wait,” said a man that closely resembled Makai, but not as much as he did the man seated behind him. They shared the same features, same face. Twins?
“I know you fucking lying.” The woman beside him cackled. “Girl, may God have mercy on you.”
“Tell him we’re ready for departure,” the gentleman with a clear glass and the same aggrieved eyes as Makai said to the attendant standing near him.
“You’re not going to introduce us to your friend, Makai?”
“She has a mouth. She can introduce herself. If it was left to me, none of you niggas would get an introduction.”
“Can we have her name, at least?” the calmer one finally spoke.
With a straight face, Makai turned to me with curiosity resting on his face.
“What’s ya name, Mommas?”
Mortified, I contemplated running toward the door that was being sealed behind us.
“Seriously?” I questioned. “You know my name, Makai.”
“Oh, shit. That’s your government, for real?” His eyes blossomed in pure astonishment, assuring me that he truly didn’t know my name, and neither did he believe it was Glacier.
“You watched me walk across the stage. My name was called. How’d you not notic—nothing.”
Shaking my head, I began to regret the impulsive decision to join him.
Pulling me closer, he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Cheer up, Mommas. I wasn’t listening for your name to be called. I was waiting until that pretty face of yours flashed across the screen.”
“I’m Aeir.” A gentle, soothing voice pulled me from the slum I was headed into.
“Glacier,” I replied, extending a hand.
Ignoring it completely, she opted for a hug instead. Like magnets, our bodies connected, arms wrapping around one another.
“That’s Halo,” she said, pointing to the coziest girl on the plane.
Slowly, she popped her hand from underneath the blanket that shielded her. “Hi.”
“That’s Nature.”
“Hi!” Nature tossed a hand in the air.
“And that’s?—”
“Kleu. Nice to meet you, girl. You look like you have some sense. So, how’d you end up here, with this senseless ass ni?—”
“Call off ya dog,” Makai joked, pulling me toward the back where there was available seating.
“I’m beating his ass before the trip ends. I see that shit now.”
“That’s Lawe, he the biggest hater of the bunch. Don’t mind him!” Makai yelled toward the front where Lawe was seated.
Still apprehensive about the fact that Makai didn’t know my name, I put necessary space between us after we both were seated. To my dismay, he moved forward, closing the gap. A second attempt to part us proved unsuccessful when I felt Makai’s arm around my waist, sliding me so close that I could feel his heart beating against my back.
“I don’t mind giving your pretty ass something to pout about,” he whispered, lips grazing my ear as he did so.
The stirring in my panties was as sinister as the smirk that I was certain I’d find plastered on his face. I relaxed against his frame, understanding that any battle I was fighting with him, I’d easily lose. Makai was war-ready. He was equipped. He was fearless. Losing, for him, wasn’t an option.
“I fucked up, but I’ma fix it.”
It was his second time reciting the line, and again, I believed every word. The lights of the cabin dimmed and everyone began to find comfort. The spaciousness gave us all enough options to keep our limbs from numbing and our necks from growing tired.
What I’d assumed was the back of the plane, where Makai and I were, happened to be the center. There was a full sleeping quarter behind us. Halo and Ledge were the first to retire, sharing one of the two queen-sized beds that were next to each other.
Though I wasn’t sure how long the flight would last or where we were headed, something deep within me told me that I wouldn’t touch the ground for at least another five hours. The thought alone brought about tiredness. Closing my eyes, I prepared to join the other women, who were all on their way to a more peaceful place.
“Aye. Aye. You slobbin’.”
Makai’s voice, as startling as it was, woke me from my sleep. Feeling as if I was falling, I grabbed the closest thing to me. My fingers curled around his shirt, bringing him closer to me than he already was. The wetness that slid down the side of my face confirmed his revelation. I was indeed slobbering. Flushed with embarrassment, I used the paper towel he was handing me to clean my mouth.
“Oh God. Sorry. Usually, I don—I guess I’m just really tired.”
It was the second time Makai had witnessed saliva slide down the side of my face. Trying to convince him that they were the only two times I’d experienced it as well would take far too much energy, so I let it be.
My body shut down completely in his presence. Safety, survival, and security weren’t on my priority list in his presence. Not even my brain functioned properly with him near. However, that was a compliment I wasn’t quite prepared to share.
“It’s time to wake up, Mommas. We’ve arrived.”
“Hmmm? Already?”
“We were in the sky for eight hours.”
“I slept for eight whole hours?”
My mouth slacked in disbelief.
“You and every other woman on this flight.”
“Wow.”
“Let me ask you something.”
As if it was even possible, he moved closer to me. Our eyes stalked one another, chests rising and falling with each breath. Impatiently, I trailed the movement of his lips, ready for his next words.
“Yeah?”
“Is womanhood that fucking exhausting?”
He didn’t blink or bat an eye while waiting for my response. Sighing, I released the deep breath I’d taken. Nodding, I answered the question that had been posed, honestly.
“Yes.”
His head rocked back and forward, slowly. Lost in deep thought, he raked his hand through the hairs that combined to form a full beard.
“I’ma fix that,” he finalized, scooping me up into his arms and carrying me down the aisle.
Still trying to catch the breath that he’d stolen, I rested my head against his chest. My body bounced with each step he took, and it wasn’t until we’d touched ground that I was lowered. I expected to land on my feet but was launched into the air again without warning.
“I’m not putting you down, Mommas. I’m picking up my bag,” he explained.
“You don’t have to carry me, Makai. I can walk if I?—”
“You have two feet and good health. I know you can. But that ain’t the fucking point here. Lay ya pretty ass down.”
Because I knew I wouldn’t win the fight, I obliged. When he decided to free me, I was in the comfort of a Jeep and the doors had been taken off. There wasn’t a top nor was there a back window.
Makai stretched the seatbelt across me, ending the gesture with a clicking noise that assured us I was buckled and ready to go. He tossed his duffle bag in the backseat and made his way around to the other side. Almost immediately after his bottom hit the seat, he put the car in gear and accelerated. My back pressed against the softness of the cushion and instinctively, my hands fished through the air for something that offered stability.
My right hand fisted the handle provided on the truck’s frame. My left hand collapsed around Makai’s long leg. Regret wouldn’t allow it to stay for long. The moment our glances connected, I snatched it away, pulling it back into familiar territory.
God, he’s magnetic. I sobbed internally.
As if he was offended by my retraction, Makai reached over and grabbed me by the wrist. Slowly, carefully, he placed my hand back on his leg, closest to his thigh. The apprehension and regret I felt after dissolved as he rested his large hand on top of mine, using the other to guide us to our destination.
Catch your breath, Glacier.
The sun peered behind the greenery that stretched for miles and miles. Freedom felt nearest. In fact, for the moment, there were no restrictions. The wind brushed my hair backward, causing it to flee from my face so that I could feel its gentleness against my skin.
The tires on the truck had slowed tremendously. Without him voicing the need for change in speed, I was certain it was due to my response to our departure. Nevertheless, I preferred slower moments because life was almost always moving too fast. Closing my eyes, I allowed everything that had happened in the last nine hours to sink in.
My palm began to sweat on Makai’s leg. Flipping my hand over, underneath his, I tried retrieving it. His objection was clear when his fingers slipped through mine and our palms pressed against one another. I opened my eyes, ready to examine the connection that felt so incredibly fictional, only to find his already on me.
A half smile stretched my lips backward. Freeing my body of shame, I left little room for Makai to wonder if I was smitten. My eyes carefully examined his flawless skin and every inch of beauty that God had blessed him with.
“You got a fucking eye problem.” He chuckled, squeezing my hand to lighten the load.
It was becoming more and more apparent to me that Makai was full of words and hardly meant any harm by them, no matter how they flowed. With a shake of the head, I tilted my chin downward and gazed in the other direction—out into the openness of the fresh sunrise. I hardly felt his hand leave mine. It wasn’t until I felt it on my chin that I noticed.
“Stand on your shit, Mommas.” His baritone was like jazz after a long shift, soothing to the soul.
“I don’t know what that means,” I admitted, blushing red with embarrassment.
“No fear. It means no fear. If you want to stalk a nigga with those pretty ass eyes and that pretty ass face, then stand on that shit. Ain’t no need to be shy because when it’s my turn to stalk you, ain’t shit gon’ stop me.”
Nodding with upward-turned lips, I digested his explanation. This time, when my eyes landed on him, they didn’t leave him. I watched as he re-established the connection he’d broken, pouring oxygen into my lungs again.
I took note of the skillful art that covered his body. Because his skin was so dark, from afar, it was hardly noticeable. But up close, I realized just how much he’d been marked. The intricacies of the artwork were mesmerizing. There were swirls and letters and signs decorating his skin like paint on a canvas.
When I’d finally had my fill of Makai, I rested my head against the seat, once again closing my eyes to soak up the pleasantries. Their separation didn’t come until we’d arrived at a jaw-dropping villa that rendered me speechless. Immobile, I watched as everyone climbed out of their trucks and piled into their respective dwellings. The small community of vacation homes was perfect.