Chapter 11
ELEVEN
“All right, Mr. Hodge. You’re going to play nice tonight?”
I stepped into the room of my most difficult patient. Though he was a sweetheart when he wanted to be, he hated hospital stays. They filled him with uncertainty and he was hardly able to get any rest. The sounds of the busy building upset him something awful most days.
“I behave myself. Don’t tell a lie like I don’t. If you had a diaper on your ass and sat in your piss at least twice a day, then you’d have an attitude every now and again, too.”
Sighing, I handed him the cup that held three of his oral medications.
“Get these down and show me your mouth after you’re done. I have some water for you right here.”
“Show me your mouth,” he mimicked, taking the cup. “And you want me to behave. Hell, stop treating me like a damn kid and I will.”
“We’re just trying to make sure you’re doing everything the correct way so that you can get out of here as soon as possible.”
“I’m sho is ready. Shit. Somebody knocking on that doe every five minutes. Might as well take the fucker off the hinges. Even if I say no, they coming in, anyway.”
Chuckling, I grabbed the empty cup from his hand. He knocked the pills down without water, a task I’d never understand the science behind.
“Here, have some water. Let’s make sure everything is all the way in there.”
“Goddamnit. Leave me alone, will you? I took the pills. Go bother somebody else.”
“There you go with that attitude, handsome. Calm down. You don’t have to drink the water if you don’t want to.”
“Good, ’cause I wasn’t planning on it any damn way.”
“Fine. Is there anything I can get you before I head out of here?”
“Yeah, the hell up out of here. I’m ready to go home.”
“You will, Mr. Hodge. We’re just waiting for the doctor to approve your discharge. You’re not completely well. Your procedure went well, but we’re monitoring you for infections, complications, or any signs of regression. We’re not trying to keep you here any longer than necessary but we have to make sure you’re taken care of.”
“Yeah. Whatever.”
He fanned me off, turning his back toward me as he pulled the cover up toward his chin.
“Cut off the light on your way out. Take the bulb out if you can. I’m so sick of y’all flipping that moth?—”
“Mr. Hodge!”
“Well, hell, I am.”
“Goodnight, sir. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Umm hmm. Unfortunately.”
He could go on this way for a while. If I didn’t get out of his room, I’d be there all night, going back and forth with him to convince him he was in the right place.
“I’m taking my first fifteen,” I announced as I approached the station.
A yawn ripped right through my face. My eyes became prickly before glossing over. My exhaustion was baffling but somehow justified. After dinner with Makai last night, we didn’t leave the lounge area of Rouge until the wee hours. Conversation flowed freely throughout the course of the night after business had concluded. By the time we stumbled into the house, the sun was mere hours from rising.
Exploring one another’s bodies began and didn’t end until the largest star appeared behind the skyscrapers of Berkeley. The Peaks was a beautiful place. The elevation from the remainder of the city was just the beginning of its beauty. There were so many other aspects. The list was ongoing. Each day, I found a new reason to fall in love with the area.
“Okay,” Shelly responded. “Which rooms are yours tonight?”
“Mr. Hodge’s clique.”
“Oh, right.”
“Same patients, different night,” I sniggered.
“Girl, tell me about it. At least you get some entertainment. Mr. Hodge makes my night every time I’m on duty and I’ve never even had the man on my rounds.”
“Filling in for me when I’m on break is enough time with Mr. Hodge to get you through an entire shift.”
“I promise. The man missed his calling. He’s a comedian.”
“He’s sweet, too, he just hates to expose that side of him to everyone.”
“Hmm. ’Cause I still haven’t seen it yet. You’d have to make me a believer.”
“I’m serious, Shelly. He has his days. He’s tired of being here, which I understand.”
“Me, too. Hell, I’m tired the second I clock in.”
“You sound like me, today,” I admitted, another yawn splitting my mouth in half.
“If you need thirty, I promise I won’t tell a soul,” Shelly whispered.
“Oh, God. As much as I’d love to, I can’t do that to you.”
“Girl, they’re asleep. I’ll be fine.”
“No. Not right now, at least. If you’re still willing to cover for me, I’ll add that extra fifteen to my lunch break. I could use some shut-eye to get me through the rest of my shift.”
“You know I got you, girl.”
“Thanks, babe. I’m heading to the break room.”
I patted my pockets to make sure I had my debit card and phone. Walking back would reserve far too much time and I needed every bit of the fifteen minutes I was taking. I began down the hallway, excited to rest my bottom and make the phone call I’d been waiting all night for.
Finding the break room empty was always a joyous time for me. I tapped my card against the vending machine and made two selections. A bag of chips and a Twix were the perfect combination. I moved along to the other machine and retrieved a bottle of cold water.
By the time I decided on a seat, the first of the two Twix bars was half-eaten. I opened my phone to find my notification center empty. The fact that Makai hadn’t sent a single message gave me mixed emotions.
On one hand, I thought it was hilarious and utterly ridiculous to find an entire thread of messages when I took a break. On the other hand, I looked forward to them. Knowing that there was so much on the top of his brain that he wanted to share while I was away warmed me to the core.
I pushed my feelings aside and made a call to him. The ringing began and proceeded far longer than usual. Worry lines creased my forehead as the third ring turned into a fourth. It wasn’t until the fifth that I heard his voice.
Relief drenched me. A smile lined my lips. The deep, raspiness of his baritone gave the perfect explanation for the delay and the reason my notification center was empty.
“Mommas,” Makai groaned. “What’s up?”
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you. I assumed you were still awake. Get some rest, baby. I’ll see you in the morning. Are you at the condo or?—”
Makai had purchased the condominium for us both. His closet was as extensive as mine. He had as many pieces inside of it as I did. His toothbrush was used almost every day of the week. It was he who pushed the trash down every day. Though we hadn’t addressed the situation or stated the obvious, we lived together and had been for the last four and a half months. My extended stay at his home was the beginning of our living arrangement.
“Nah. Nah. I’m good. What you doing?”
“Nothing. I’m in the break room, taking my fifteen-minute break.”
“How has your shift been going?”
“Good,” I tittered. “Until I realized you hadn’t sent me anything. Have you not been missing me?”
“That’s why I’m in your bed, under all this damn cover, on your side. Yeah, I miss you, baby. I fell asleep, hoping I’d wake up to you coming through the door.”
“I miss you, too.”
Silence coated the line. It admitted things that Makai wasn’t. Exhaustion was weakening his resolve and it was impossible to shake it off.
“Baby,” I sighed, wishing I was right next to him.
The shift change he’d suggested months ago resurfaced in my head. I was almost ready to make the switch. My hesitancy was a result of thoughts that pertained to the ease of navigation through days that I was on schedule.
My days were still incredibly productive. Not sleeping past noon gave me plenty of time to enjoy the rest of my day or handle any business necessary because everything was still open.
Working from seven in the morning until seven in the evening meant that I’d clock in before everything opened and after everything closed, leaving my off days as the only option to handle business. I didn’t like the idea. However, now that Makai was in my world, nights without him felt much more torturous than giving my entire day away three times a week.
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m up, baby. I hear you.”
“I haven’t said anything.” He was hilarious, even when he wasn’t trying to be.
“Oh. What’s up, though, Mommas? How has your shift been going?”
“Baby, you’ve asked that question already.”
The quietness gripped my body, wrapping it tightly in Makai’s web. My smile widened as my head switched from one side to the other.
“Goodnight, baby,” I whispered, ending the call.
Makai’s level of comfort in my space offered me a version of peace that left me feeling fuzzy all over. I opened the group thread, finding a slew of messages I’d missed in my absence. Because the notifications were silenced, they hadn’t shown up in the center either.
I hadn’t had much time to process the previous night. Discovering Nelson was a part of Makai’s world was unexpected. Having them meet was never on my bingo card. And last, predicting Makai’s response was impossible.
We never discussed my previous relationship. If it was left up to Makai, he’d claim to be the first man I ever dated. His delusion was the cutest, but encounters like the one we had last night were painful reminders that he wasn’t.
Hi, ladies. Anyone awake?
Though there wasn’t much to dwell on about the situation, there were a few lingering thoughts that I needed to get out of my head. I’d come to the perfect place. A group full of listening, nonjudgmental women that I’d grown to love and cherish over the last few months.
Hardly a few seconds passed before my phone vibrated in my hand. Kleu was calling. I opened the bag of chips as I swiped across the screen. Once it was situated between my shoulder and ear, I unscrewed the cap on the bottle of water.
“Hello?”
“Hey, what’s up? All the old women are asleep. It’s just us. I’m cleaning so my fingers aren’t available.”
“At this time of night?”
Kleu’s insomnia was a frequent topic between us because she was always the only member of the group chat who was awake well into my shift.
“I used to be sliding down a pole at this hour. Forgive me for playing pretend in my head, watching all the money I’m no longer seeing nightly fall onto the floor beneath me.”
“I think that mentioning this to your doctor will be beneficial.”
“I’m all right. I’ve been a night owl since I was a child. My internal clock isn’t the same as the rest of the world’s and I’m okay with that.”
“Okay. You’re right. It’s not different from me choosing the overnight shift, huh?”
“Not at all. Some of us are just wired differently. Now, what’s up?”
“Wellllll,” I paused. “Makai and I ran into my ex-boyfriend last night.”
“Oh shit. Let me put this mop down. Say what now?” She chuckled. “Say when, say who, say how?”
“Makai brought me along with him for dinner. It was date night for us. I’m assuming he decided to kill two birds with one stone. I don’t know. Nelson was a guest at dinner.”
“Oh, the girls are going to be pissed they missed this spill.”
“I know, right? I don’t plan on repeating myself after this. It’s not that big of a deal. Makai and I haven’t spoken about it since last night.”
“What did he say?”
“Which one?”
“Makai, of course. I don’t give a damn what your ex said.”
“He made a toast.”
“To who?”
“My ex. Thanking him for screwing up and blessing him with me.”
“Shut the fuck up, Glacier!”
“I’m serious. I wanted to melt in my chair.”
“Why? He’s right.”
“And then, he insisted I never alter my level of comfort when in his presence, no matter who I’m in front of.”
I popped the last chips into my mouth, sure not to chew loudly enough to be heard.
“He means it, too, babe.”
“I know. It’s just that I hadn’t seen him in so long and the one time I do, it’s at dinner with my man. It was so much to digest at once, especially not knowing how Makai would react.”
“If there’s nothing else you take from this conversation, step away knowing that you have absolutely nothing to fear when it comes to a Domino man exuding confidence and remaining in control of any situation they find themselves in. You’re not fucking on a bum, Glacier. You’re fucking on a boss. Act accordingly. Head high, chest out in every room you walk in, no matter who is in that motherfucker.”
Nodding as if she could see me, I agreed with her.
“I have to get back to work, Kleu.”
“All right. Call me later if you want to talk more about it.”
“I don’t. I just… I guess I just needed to tell someone. Thank you for always being a listening ear and offering sound advice.”
“Of course, babe. That’s what we’re all here for.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yup.” She ended the call immediately.
Her words stuck to me like glue as I gathered my trash and tossed it into the garbage can on my way out of the door. Just as I made it onto my floor, I heard Mr. Hodge’s voice on the speaker, requesting to see his nurse.
“I’ve got it,” I called out, letting Shelly know I was back and ready to deal with whatever Mr. Hodge was planning.
“I was just about to head in there to see what that man wanted.”
“It’s fine.”
I sanitized my hands and walked the short distance to his room. I entered to find him sitting up with a mug on his handsome face. There was no doubt about it, he was a fine gentleman in his time. I was certain the women were delighted to have him around.
“Yes, Mr. Hodge?”
As I moved closer to his bedside, I popped on the lights and grabbed a pair of fresh gloves from the box.
“I need to get up and go to the bathroom.”
“Now, Mr. Hodge. You know you’re a fall risk. That’s why you’re bedridden.”
“How the hell I become a fall risk here? I ain’t one at home. Hell, I’m tired of them damn people coming in here to change a diaper I don’t need in the first place.”
“Well, until you’ve recovered from your procedure and the doctor sees fit, you can’t get out of bed.”
“Damn the doctor. He doesn’t know more about my body than I do.”
“According to his medical degree, he does.”
“Damn that degree, too.”
“Shhhh…” I silenced Mr. Hodge, gaining wind of the commotion going on outside in the hallway.
“What the hell is going on out there?”
“You cannot be here!” I heard Shelly yelling from afar.
“Where the fuck she at? You ain’t talking ’bout shit right now.”
“Daniel, call security. Sir, you cannot be here!”
The voices were muffled, but I recognized each and every one of them, including the one that left me puzzled.
Nelson? How doe ? —
Mid-thought, I halted, recalling him being right beside me as I filled out the application for the very position I was in. Berkeley Presby was my dream job and I’d secured it with his knowledge. My graduation solidified my spot on their employee roster, but he hadn’t made it to that point in my life. His ship sailed the night before.
I rushed toward the door, pulling it open to find everyone at the nurses’ station out of their seats, acting as human shields, blocking Nelson from proceeding. To their dismay, he was much larger than anyone standing in front of him. Seeing Shelly fall to her knees from his forceful blow was like a punch to the gut.
“Stop it!” I screamed, refusing to allow him to harm another member of our team.
He charged in my direction once my position was exposed. In an effort to protect myself and buy the rest of the staff time to get assistance, I stepped back into Mr. Hodge’s room, pushing the door closed behind me. To my dismay, Nelson was fast and he was strong. Just before the door shut completely, he grabbed hold of it.
I stuffed my hand in my pocket, frantically searching for my phone. Makai’s number was the first on my call list. I pressed the call button, but hung up immediately, remembering he was asleep. The shove against the wall racked my brain. In my twenty-eight years of life, my one-hundred-and-fifty-pound frame had never been handled so forcefully.
“Nelson, you’re hurting my arm,” I whimpered in pain.
“So, you fucking that nigga now? On some payback shit?”
“Young man, let her go. Who are you? Get out of my room!” Mr. Hodge yelled across the room.
“Nelson, please. Let go of my arm.”
He twisted it tighter as the words came from my mouth.
Fists hammered on the door as my coworkers demanded I be freed.
“You on some payback shit?”
“I’m not that kind of person,” I explained, though he already knew it.
However, those once-alluring eyes had darkened dramatically. He was in a rage and saw nothing but what he’d tricked himself into believing. Whatever that was, wasn’t exactly my issue. It was some inner work that he needed to nurture within himself.
“Bitch, you think you’re better than me now? That nigga know I made you?”
Refusing to give Nelson the satisfaction, I focused on freeing my arm from his hold and using my free hand to dial the digits that I knew would result in an instant response. The water pitcher clashing against the wall awarded me with the freedom I’d sought. Mr. Hodge loaded his hand again, this time launching the top from his dinner plate. I pressed the three numbers, and the call button, and stuffed my phone inside the pocket of my shirt.
“Let go of her!” He yelled.
To my surprise, he’d risen from his bed and planted his feet on the floor. His attempt to get across the floor seemed to have been unsuccessful, but it didn’t stop him from trying again.
“Mr. Hodge, please don’t! You’ll fall!”
Nelson struck out, pushing Mr. Hodge to the ground. I yelped, leaping over the objects that had been tossed in our direction to pry Nelson’s hands from around Mr. Hodge’s neck. The old man refused to go down without a fight. He snatched the phone from the table beside his bed, bringing it down on Nelson’s head.
Mr. Hodge’s reflex was commendable. He had caught the receiver before it could touch the floor, slamming it against the side of Nelson’s head at once. Upon realizing he was in for a fight, Nelson redirected his anger. He gripped my neck, instead, leaving Mr. Hodge gasping for air.
“What the fuck have you told him? You told him my business, haven’t you?”
“It’s not my—you’re cho—Nelson!”
Left without a choice but to defend my life, I lifted my leg, trying to connect it with his scrotum. Though his grip loosened, he didn’t let go. My attempt was unsuccessful, but enough to get him to lighten up.
“It’s not my business to tell, Nelson!” I screamed. “Let go of me.”
“That shit going to your grave with you,” he grunted, applying more pressure around my neck.
I could feel myself running out of oxygen. Words were impossible at this point. I tried my hardest to unwrap his fingers, but it was impossible without breaking skin. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
WHAM!
WHAM!
The blows completely blindsided Nelson. The hold on my neck ended suddenly as bodies began to move around me. It was Mr. Hodge and Dr. Thomas that I recognized immediately. Simultaneously, they’d sent mind-numbing blows to Nelson’s cranium. Mr. Hodge had used a piece of metal from the IV stand. Dr. Thomas had gone a more traditional method, using his fist.
“Are you okay?” Dr. Thomas asked, paying little attention to the fallen.
“Yes. Mr. Hodge,” I gasped. “Ma-make sure Mr. Hodge is okay.”
“Hell, I’m all right. Feels like back in the day, except I didn’t have a diaper on my ass then.”
As the words left his mouth, police stormed the room.
“Berkeley City Police Department. Make room! Make room!”
“It’s him. The one on the floor.” Tony, the only male nurse on our wing, ushered them in while pointing at an unconscious Nelson.
“You aight?” he turned to me and asked.
Because I was still struggling to breathe, I simply nodded.
The remorse that rested in his eyes made me turn away. I was unable to match his gaze. His heart was breaking into pieces before me. I couldn’t hold myself together.
His love blanketed the room. I couldn’t breathe. Yet, without it, I couldn’t continue life. Makai had become my direct source of oxygen. The line was tangled and I wasn’t sure if I’d survive his glossy eyes and flaring nostrils.
“Ya neck, Kiwi,” Makai groaned. “Ya fucking neck.”
He ejected his body from the chair in the waiting room and began pacing again.
“Makai, please.”
Falling to his knees, he looked up at me.
“Do you see your fucking neck?” Pain resided in his tone as the question surfaced.
“Yes.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck!” he yelled, standing back up.
I’d given my statement. The rest of the staff were giving theirs. Nelson was in custody, cuffed, and waiting to be taken downstairs. The entire floor was in an uproar.
But Makai, he was livid. After consoling me, and making sure I was well, the anger began brewing.
“Listen to me, Mommas,” he gritted, back on his knees and in front of me. “I’m your first line of defense. I’m your emergency line. I’m the motherfucker you call to handle your shit. I’m your fucking police. Me. Call me! Don’t call them. Call me! They’re going to put that nigga in the cold cell; I’m going to put that bitch in the soil. I’m sparing nothing and no one behind you. Do you understand me?”
Nodding, I wiped the tears that fell onto my cheeks. They were fast and they were plentiful. Makai reached up, gently wiping my face with the arm of his hoodie.
“Call me.”
“Okay.”
“I’m coming, Kiwi. I’m always gon’ come. Just call me. Just call me.”
I brushed the side of his cheek.
“I don’t like this. I don’t like this shit one bit.”
A violent reaction was the only reaction Makai had ever known. He’d explained his coping mechanism to me so long ago. Not having the ability to react to such a violent situation with more violence left him in shambles. However, I was relieved that the police had gotten to Nelson instead of Makai. It brought me a bit of peace.
“I’m taking you home, Glacier. Where are your things?”
“I have to go down to the station. I’ve been advised to get a restrain?—”
“Restraining order, baby? The piece of paper that has spared not one woman’s life in situations like this? Nah. I’m the restrainer and the fucking order. They don’t protect y’all from shit, but I will.”
“If I’m not going, then I’m ready.”
Nelson’s threat rang loud in my head. As much as I wanted to share it with Makai, I couldn’t. He’d seen enough. He’d heard enough.
“Where are yo?—”
His body stiffened for a split second. Just as quickly as it stilled, it began moving swiftly. His hand landed on his hip where there was no doubt his gun rested. My eyes followed his, landing on Nelson, who was being escorted out of the building. Everything was moving so fast. Before I was able to stop him, Makai’s gun was out and pointed in Nelson’s direction.
Rising to the challenge, I leaped toward him, gently pressing against his arm. My lips touched his earlobe. My left hand caressed his back.
“I love you.”
Overcome with emotions, I repeated myself, just in case he hadn’t heard me the first time.
“I love you, Makai, too much to let you make such a foolish decision.”
His arm was still rigid, straightened as he continued to aim.
“When you up it, you gotta let that motherfucker rip, Kiwi.”
Completely entranced, his eyes never left Nelson as his grip around the gun tightened. Words wouldn’t suffice. With this bit of knowledge, I stepped back until my body was in front of the gun.
“I can’t let you do this to yourself,” I pled. My eyes burned from the tears they continued to cry.
“I can’t let you do this to us. I can’t let you do this to your brothers. To your niece. To you?—”
Makai’s hand dropped. Visibly relieved, I expanded my arms to bring him into a hug. He rejected me. It was his hand that pulled me closer as he stared daggers into me.
“You won’t be able to save that nigga every time, Mommas.”
“It’s you I’m trying to save,” I admitted.
Still gazing at me, Makai licked the tears from the right side of my face.
“You can cry your pretty little heart out. That nigga gots to go.”
I followed Makai out of the waiting area, down the hallway, and outside to his car as if I didn’t own a single cell in my brain. My soul was leading me. My brain had no jurisdiction over my body when it spoke to me. My heart, head, and limbs belonged solely to it.
“We can get your shit later. Your whip, too.”
He helped me into his truck. Sharp pains shot through my arm and neck with each move I made. The assistance wasn’t necessary but it was appreciated.
“You good?” Makai asked as he settled in.
“Yes.”
“Fix your face, then, Mommas. You’re ripping me to pieces.”
“Sorry,” I apologized, feeling the weight of my world collapsing around me.
“Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault. Hoe niggas gon’ do hoe shit.”
“I’m ju… I’m worried about Shelly.”
“Shelly gon’ be aight.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. She’ll be aight and back on nights right with you.”
“Right,” I whispered, still slightly unsure of her future.
She was unable to move her arm and couldn’t stand on her own. Something was certainly broken. We’d need her scanned to find out what.
“Here, lay back and rest your mind. Relax.”
“Okay.”
I waited as Makai reached over and reclined the passenger seat. When it was time for him to return to his side of the vehicle, I wasn’t ready. I grabbed hold of his hand, intertwining our fingers. With him in my possession, my body began to regulate itself. I closed my eyes and prayed for any amount of sleep. Even a few minutes would be all right with me.