7. Harlow
CHAPTER 7
HARLOW
I step outside and take a deep breath.
I don’t know what just happened, but standing close to Jefferson just now made my heart start beating faster.
He smells really good. And noticing that over all the amazing scents in our moms’ bakery is saying something.
Maybe I’ll just chalk it up to that.
But he sure seems comfortable getting into my personal space.
Starting with when he slid into the booth at the diner, right up against me, and put his arm around me. Or when he backed me up against the gazebo. And when he crowded in next to me at the bakery.
He doesn't seem to care who’s around either.
Sure, in the diner it was for Zach’s benefit. And I suppose at the gazebo, anyone could’ve been walking or driving by and he needed to look like we were friendly. Okay, more than friendly.
But at the bakery, the audience was made up of only our moms. We just told them the whole thing was fake. Still, he crowded right in next to me and stretched his big, long muscular body out, looking down at me as if in challenge.
No, I wasn’t going to let him know it affected me.
I’m barely willing to admit that to myself.
But I can’t escape replaying all these words from him and my mom. They’re both right that it wouldn’t take long for us to decide to be serious if this was real. It makes complete sense.
If, in some alternate universe, we did decide to date we wouldn’t need anything near thirty days to know if it was going to work. We’ve known each other too long and too well. It would be clear quickly if we were in or out.
But not in this universe. The real one. The one we are currently living in.
He’s number two on my shit list right after Zach.
I’m not going to forget that he encouraged Ginny to leave Sapphire Falls. I don’t care if she’s his sister. She’s my friend. She’s from here. Her friends and family and home are here.
He also encouraged my brother to leave. Austin almost never comes home to visit since he moved to Indianapolis and fell in love. My mom misses him so much. I miss him so much.
Jefferson Riley has been encouraging people to leave Sapphire Falls ever since he came back.His own bitterness over being stuck here bleeds over to all the people he “cares about” and he pushes them out as quickly as he can.
So he’s the guidance counselor for the high school. He got to influence my brother that way since Austin was a junior when Jefferson took the job. But he wasn’t Ginny’s high school counselor. Or Graham’s. He was just their meddling brother.
I won’t forgive him for sending Graham to Colorado and breaking us up. Or for the things he said to Graham about me holding him back, about how much better off he’d be without me.
Graham and I have stayed in touch, of course. We’re still friends. But things between us have not been the same since Jefferson messed up the most important relationship in my life.
And then last fall he encouraged Alex Fallon, someone Jefferson and I literally lost sleep over together , to go to school in another state after he graduated. And, of course, Alex listened. Everyone always fucking listens to Jefferson.
Now, I’m constantly worried, still losing sleep, and upset because I can’t be there if Alex needs me.
God. Jefferson is such a jerk.
Jefferson was the one driving around with me for four hours trying to find Alex two years ago when he was having nightmares and got suicidal. Jefferson was the one sitting up with me for twenty hours straight talking with, pleading with, and holding the grief-stricken kid who was plagued with survivor’s guilt. Jefferson was the one sitting with me beside Alex’s bed when his foster mom found him unresponsive on his bedroom floor. Jefferson was the one sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office when Alex finally agreed to more intense counseling but would only go if we took him. Both of us. Together.
Of all people, Jefferson should have known that Alex needed to stay closer to us. Closer to home .
So no, I won’t be forgetting or forgiving Jefferson Riley for always thinking he knows best, for getting people to trust him and listen to him, and for sending people away from Sapphire Falls. Away from home. Away from me .
And now, I’m stuck not just having to get along with him but having to pretend to date him. Pretending to not just like him, but to be falling for him. Or to have fallen, I guess.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out, grateful for the distraction.
But then I see my sister’s name on my screen and I know immediately what this is about.
So much for being distracted from thoughts of Jefferson and my new fake, very serious relationship with him.
“Hey,” I greet.
“What the hell is going on?” Mia asks.
“I assume someone has asked you what is going on with me and Jefferson?”
Mia wasn’t at the house last night. If anyone there is asked about Jefferson and me, I trust that they’ll think on their feet and assume we decided to go with the fake dating story.
Mia wasn’t in on all of that, but she is in a position to run into a lot of people and I should have thought of that. I was too focused on getting to my mom and dad.
Mia’s the town librarian. The library was her favorite place once she moved to Sapphire Falls, and the librarian at the time, Lucy Geller, allowed Mia to come in any time, go off by herself into a cozy little corner, check out any book she wanted, and lose herself in those fictional places and lives that were so much happier than the real one she was dealing with.
Lucy ran the library for a few years, but she fell in love and married famous best-selling mystery author, Michael Kade. Now she travels with him and handles a lot of his PR. But the Kades privately fund our library, including Mia’s salary, now. So, Mia has the perfect job where she gets to spend her days surrounded by books and book lovers.
The library happens to be a popular spot in Sapphire Falls, which says a lot for the intellectual habits of our citizens, I guess, but it also makes it, like every other public place in town, a gossip hub.
“Who asked you about it?” I asked, legitimately curious at this point.
I didn’t do a full roll call of who was in the diner this morning, but I scanned the room. I have a pretty good idea.
“Four different people,” Mia says. “Summer reading program is going on.”
“Right,” I sigh. “I should’ve called you. We just got done telling Mom.”
“So you are dating Jefferson?”
“Fake dating. Zach is back in town. He wants to get back together, so Jefferson and I have teamed up to make Zach miserable.”
Mia is quiet for a moment.
While most the town knows that Zach is my ex, only a very few people know the entire story of what happened.
Mia is one of them.
She knows that Zach was my first, that he took my virginity, and knows about the cheating. She also knows that he slipped something into my drink one night after we broke up when he was trying to convince me to ‘just talk things out’.
Mia had a rough childhood. Until she was ten she lived in a house where people fought constantly and things got physical on a regular basis. She isn’t afraid to throw a punch. Or more. And once she came to live with my family she became very protective of us.
The night after I told her what Zach had done, she was missing for about three hours. I was very afraid for Zach. And for our dad. Because he would have been the one who would have had to arrest her for whatever she did.
“Well shit, “she finally says. “You know you can resist him, right? You’re strong. You know he’s a dirtbag. Don’t let him intimidate you.”
“Oh, no. It’s not that,” I assure her. “Especially after talking to him this morning. There is nothing there. But the idea of me dating Jefferson really annoys him. He and Jefferson have some old history too. We figured we might as well have some fun with this.”
“Well, okay,” she says.
I frown. That was way easier than I expected. “That’s it? Just okay?”
She laughs. “Far be it from me to question you or Jefferson. Jefferson has always known how to handle Zach. If you guys decided this was your plan, I’m sure it’s great.”
I frown. Jefferson has always known how to handle Zach . What does that mean exactly?
Then I sigh. It’s probably nothing. Jefferson is like me—we’re problem solvers. And the thing about being the one who fixes everyone else’s problems all the time is that they assume you don’t need help with your problems.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I tell her. “I think it will be fine. It's just for this week until the wedding.”
“Well, when people asked me about you today, I just asked what they heard. They said that you and Jefferson were together at the diner and said you were dating. I just asked them why they thought I would tell them anything different.”
I laugh. “That seems like a perfect answer.”
“Yeah,” Mia agrees. “Seriously. Why would they think that they could come to me and get any kind of other story?”
My sister has a lot of residual trauma, not the least of which is trouble trusting. But she is loyal, protective, and amazing.
“Thanks, Mia.”
“Of course.” She pauses. “Let me know if there’s anything else you want me to say or do.”
I smile. My sister is also one of the most loving people. It takes a long time to get close to her, but once you’re there, she won’t let you go. “I love you. “
“Love you too.”
We’re disconnecting when Jefferson steps out of the bakery with his stupid froo-froo coffee.
“We need to tell our friends,” I tell him. “Group text or something. People are already talking.”
He shakes his head, swallowing mouth full of coffee. “No texts. I don’t want that all in writing. Zach might see somebody’s phone. We’ll just tell everyone in person. Or they can tell each other. We have a very efficient grapevine. Oh, and we’re having dinner tonight.”
“You’re asking me out to dinner?”
“You’re my girlfriend. Of course we’ll be eating dinner together tonight.”
“If I was actually your girlfriend, you would still have to ask me out,” I inform him. “I wouldn’t be a sure thing.”
He steps in close. “If you were my girlfriend, you would be a sure thing. You would be at my house every single night, where I could cook for you, make sure you were happy, cuddle your ass on the couch, and then carry you into bed where you would for sure spend the night.” He leans in. “You’d be more than a sure thing. You’d be begging for it.”
My breath sticks in my throat as heat and shock hit me in equal measure.
What the hell is that?
You should shove him back. And laugh. You should definitely laugh.
But wait, is Jefferson sexy?
I don’t want Jefferson making me feel those things.
I stare at him. “I…um—” I clear my throat. “Begging for dinner? You’d try to starve me? That tracks.”
His grin is slow. “To hear you beg? I do just about anything, I think. And I’m an excellent…cook.”
That pause before ‘cook’ feels very innuendo-ish and I don’t like it.
I also don’t like the way it makes me think that I might need to see what gossip I can find about his past girlfriends. Then he straightens. “But dinner tonight is at the Spencers’. It’s the whole family. Pre-wedding get-together. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”