18. Harlow
CHAPTER 18
HARLOW
Even though they invited most everyone, Graham and Margot are the last ones to show up to the bonfire.
Jefferson and I are standing on the far side of the fire pit, drinks in hand, chatting with Ginny, Sasha, and Carver when I see them walk into the circle of light from the outer perimeter of parked vehicles.
“Be right back,” I tell our little group as I beeline for Graham.
He sees me coming and pulls up, saying something to Margot. She nods and continues on toward the fire. “Hey,” she greets me as we pass.
“Am I stealing your date?” I tease.
“Not if you don’t keep him all night,” she says with a grin.
I lift a brow as I turn to watch her walk away. That almost sounded as if she agreed that Graham was her date.
Well, okay, then. Very good.
I turn back toward my best friend and cross the grass quickly. “Okay, spill.”
Graham tucks his hands into his pockets. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit. You can’t lie to me. What’s going on with you and Margot? Did you finally tell her how you feel?”
“Well, not exactly.”
I narrow my eyes and look up at him. Graham is a very straightforward person, especially with me. “What does that mean?”
“We haven’t really talked about it, but I think kissing her last night probably gave her an idea of how I feel.”
My mouth drops open, and I swat his arm. “You did? You just grabbed her and kissed her?”
He laughs, then gives me a goofy grin. “I didn’t grab her. But we were saying goodnight, and I said, “there’s just more thing” and she asked, “what?” and I said, “this” and I kissed her.”
“Graham!” I squeal, though I try to keep my voice down. “That’s amazing! Way to go!”
He laughs again and I love it. I love how happy he looks. “She kissed me back. And then said, “I was wondering if you were ever going to do that.””
I laugh and give him an affectionate nudge. “That’s awesome. I’m so happy for you!” I can’t help but think about the kisses I’ve shared with Jefferson. For public display or not, you can tell a lot from someone’s kiss.
Graham nods and his gaze finds something—or rather, someone —over my right shoulder. “Yeah. Me too. Best festival ever.”
I tip my head. “So is that all you’re going to do with your dream girl while you’re here?”
The sooner these two get serious, the sooner my best friend is back in Sapphire Falls to stay. Of course I’m going to rush this.
Graham’s focus comes back to me. “Should I be telling you about this?”
“You tell me everything.”
“Yeah, but this is Margot. Should I talk to you about her like this?”
“Margot will talk to me about you like this if that’s any consolation,” I tell him.
I’m ninety-nine percent sure that’s true. I’ve never actually been in a situation where one of my friends is serious about and sleeping with another of my friends now that I think about it.
Graham looks a little concerned. “She’ll tell you about her sex life?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Never mind. I won’t let her. Maybe just that you have one? But I don’t wanna know the details.”
He quickly nods. “By the way, same goes for you and Jefferson. I definitely don’t need to know.”
I open my mouth to tell him there is nothing to tell, but for some reason, the words won’t come out.
There isn’t anything to tell. But there’s one little word that floats through my mind right after that phrase.
Yet.
I think it is much more accurate to say that there is nothing to tell about Jefferson and me sexually yet .
“Deal,” I finally say. “I will say that I am really happy about you and Margot,” I tell him with a huge smile. “You’re both really lucky. I hope this turns out to be amazing.”
There’s no way this won’t turn out to be amazing. Two of my best friends getting together? I couldn’t be happier.
Then I look over my left shoulder. To where Jefferson has now moved to sit on the end of his truck tailgate. It’s a little further away from the fire, but still part of the group. Others are doing the same. Either sitting up on the tailgates or on the logs and chairs people have positioned closer to the fire. Music is playing, drinks are flowing, conversation and laughter rises and falls on the evening breeze. And I suddenly want to go over and join Jefferson.
“I’ll let you go hang out with Margot,” I say.
“Okay,” Graham says with a nod. “Haven’t seen as much of you this trip.” His gaze also goes to his brother. “But you seem to be having a good time.”
I give a little laugh. “I am as surprised by that as you are.”
Graham snorts. “You might actually be the only one who is surprised by that.”
“You really don’t think this is weird?”
“I really don’t. Why don’t you just give it a chance?” he asks.
“Because I’ve spent all this time thinking of Jefferson as my nemesis,” I say honestly. “He makes me crazy.”
Graham looks at me thoughtfully for a long moment, then he says, “I think that’s why he’s perfect for you.”
I frown but laugh. “What? You want me to be crazy?”
“I want you with someone who will challenge you,” he says. His expression and tone hold affection but it’s also clear he’s serious. “I want you with someone who will respect and appreciate your strength and will actually want to build that up. I want you with someone who is worthy of you, Harlow.”
My smile dies as my chest tightens. Oh. That’s really nice. “Graham…”
“You are my best friend. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve defended me. You’ve accepted me. You’ve made me feel like I can do anything.”
I swallow. I did not expect this conversation to get sentimental.
“But you’ve also very seldom let me do anything for you.”
“That’s not true. You’re my best friend too!” I protest.
“I know. But you don’t really need me. Not for the building up and pushing you stuff,” he says. “Because you always know what you believe and what you want and how to get it.”
I shake my head, but he gives me a look that says you know I know what I’m talking about . Graham does know me. And, okay, so I’ve given him more advice and pep talks than he’s given me. He’s definitely listened to me rant. He’s definitely listened to my dreams and plans. But no, I guess he’s never had to really build me up. And he’s never really argued with me.
Unlike his big brother.
“I’m easy for you,” Graham says. He gives me a grin. “And I’ve always liked that. We have such an effortless relationship. We’re so comfortable. I can just be myself. You can be you. Neither of us has ever tried to change the other.”
“That’s a good thing,” I say.
“There’s a time for that,” he agrees. “But sometimes we need people who will make us really think. Who will make us question what we believe. Who will be the sandpaper that will smooth off our rough edges.”
I study his face. The face I know as well as my own in the mirror. “Do you think Margot can be that for you?”
“Maybe,” he says, a soft smile on his lips. “She knows me, but she doesn’t know me like you do. There’s room to learn and that’s good, I think. But we’ll have to see. You and Jefferson on the other hand are already there.”
I swallow. “Already where?” I ask. And I’m sure Graham can hear the wariness in my voice.
He smiles. “Already to where the pushing and pulling on each other builds you up instead of breaking anything down. Where you can smooth each other out without ruining the beautiful pattern that’s underneath.”
I stare at Graham.
“What?” he asks.
“You’ve always been a genius, but when did you get poetic ?”
He laughs. “I’ve been reading some interesting shit lately.”
I shake my head. “Well, wow, warn a girl before you pull the philosophy out at a bonfire at the river.”
He loops an arm around my neck and steers me back toward the bonfire. “Poor baby, making you feel things and be a little mushy.”
“I don’t mind feeling things and being mushy about you ,” I mutter.
Graham kisses the top of my head. “I know. But now, we both know that you want to feel some things for my big brother. And I’m going to give you advice for once.”
I look up at him.
“Do it,” he says simply.
I just sigh. I’m not going to argue.
Because I’m already doing that.
Graham walks me across the packed dirt area that was long ago cleared of grass and weeds to make a space for big bonfires and chairs.
He stops in front of Jefferson. “Found something of yours,” he says.
Jefferson’s eyes are on my face. He doesn’t argue the yours part. He just holds out his hand and takes mine, tugging me up against his side where he slides his arm around me and rests his hand on my hip. “Thanks for returning her,” he tells Graham. “Didn’t know if I’d get her back. There was a time when separating the two of you was impossible.”
Graham nods, then gives me a little smile. “I might steal her once in a while in the future to talk all night, watch movies, and whatever again, but I think this is where she’ll want to come back to afterward.”
I should protest. I should make it into a joke. I should…do something.
Well, something other than look up at Jefferson, meet his gaze, and smile.
Because that seems like I’m agreeing with Graham.
That makes it seem like there’s a future that includes me standing in Jefferson’s arms while Graham moves on to hang out with other friends.
A future that includes me choosing Jefferson over those friends.
But…fuck.
What if that could be the future? What if our friends would come and go from my house, or Jefferson’s house, or Sapphire Falls and I was left behind with Jefferson?
How would that feel?
I watch Graham walk toward the group that includes Margot, Mia, Ginny, and Sloan, I register the feel of Jefferson against me, and…I smile.
I freaking smile.
Oh, man.
“I hate to break it to you,” Jefferson says, his deep voice rumbling against my shoulder and across my chest. “But I think my brother thinks you like me. For real.”
Again, I tell myself to make a joke. Mention that we must be good actors. Say something snarky. Anything to keep this from being serious. Or from being true.
But Graham got to me. More than even my parents. Or Jefferson's parents for that matter. Graham knows me. Graham loves me. And if he sees something between Jefferson and me, it’s real. And not just a flirtation or attraction or crush. Graham thinks we could be good together.
So, I look up at my now ex-nemesis and say, “Well, he is a genius.”
At least Jefferson looks surprised for one second. I appreciate that. But then his expression grows…hot.
And I’m definitely in trouble.
Or maybe I’m the opposite of in trouble.
Maybe this is fantastic.
My stomach suddenly does a little swoop-y thing that I kind of like and I think, yeah, this could be fantastic.
Either way, things are about to change for Jefferson and me.
“Harlow—”
“Come on,” Sasha says, grabbing my wrist and tugging me closer to the fire. “S’more time.”
There’s a fleeting look of frustration on Jefferson's face and I feel an echo of it in my chest.
We need to talk.
We also need to kiss.
We really need to kiss. More than talk. Kiss, then talk.
I really, really want to kiss him some more.
In front of people, in private, whatever. Just very not-faking-it kiss.
I’m caught up for a few minutes, toasting marshmallows, and sliding them between chocolate-bar-covered graham crackers. And I’ve never not been in a good mood when s’mores were involved.
Especially, when Jefferson joins us, and gets in right next to me. He steals a marshmallow off the end of my stick, and I turn to protest but instead find myself watching him put the gooey morsel in his mouth and then lick his thumb and forefinger.
He looks down to find me watching him suck on his finger.
He drags it out slowly, then reaches for my face, dragging his thumb, that’s still wet from his mouth, over the corner of my lip.
He shows me the bit of chocolate he removed, then slides his thumb into my mouth.
Oh, yes .
I close my lips around his thumb and suck gently, then swirl my tongue over the pad.
The look in his eyes is scorching.
I feel heat flare in my belly and a tingle between my legs and suddenly, I can’t wait to get back to his house.
Things are changing, for sure, and as far as my panties are concerned, it is all for the better.
Someone cranks up the music and my friends, who now have alcohol and sugar coursing through their systems, start to dance.
“Dance with us!” Mia says, coming up next to me.
This is a regular part of the agenda. Dancing with my girlfriends around the bonfire is one of my favorite ways to blow off steam.
The thing is, I haven’t had the kind of steam that’s building up inside of me right now, in a long time.
The corner of Jefferson's mouth curls up. “Go on,” he says. “I always love watching you dance.”
Wait, just a second. He always loves watching me dance with my friends?
Yes, we’re both often at these bonfires. But I’ve never noticed him watching me before.
But as I let Margot and Mia pull me back away from him, I love the way his eyes travel over me. I remember that he wanted me to wear this dress. I remember the kisses that we’ve shared so far.
And I fully intend to put a little extra shimmy in my hips tonight.
Jefferson Riley wants to for-real flirt with me? Wants to have a couple of hours of bonfire-party foreplay?
Game. On.