Chapter 9
I’m sittingin a circle of hell with one little spot of heaven beside me—Gia.
She’s devouring a chocolate croissant while Luca smolders on the other side of her. He sits at his round table for eight, like a king. But we haven’t spoken this morning, not since I caught him last night.
Now…his eyes avoid mine.
Is he embarrassed? Angry? Aroused? Who knows? He’s just silent and fuming again.
But when I met everyone for Sunday brunch in the restaurant at noon, Zar sure let me know how he feels. He slid into the chair beside me, uninvited, leaning over with a “Morning, Red,” his grin shameless, “you look hot as usual.”
“Fuck you,” I muttered.
But he whispered in my ear, “Now you finally know it would be my pleasure to fuck you because that’s exactly what he wants to watch.”
Of course, Zar looks hot in his linen suit and satisfied, too. He should be after last night. And I should hate him for being part of Luca’s cruel, kinky game, but I don’t.
I didn’t answer Zar’s tease after we sat down because I don’t have one. I don’t know what I feel about what I saw, but my tingling pussy sure has an opinion.
HIF #8: My V needs Luca’s vitamin D so bad…she’s considering a double dose while I call Luca “Master” and let his sub use me however he wants.
Zar keeps grinning at Luca about it. Like he’s already mailed the gold-embossed printed invitation to me:
PLEASE JOIN US FOR A SATURDAY NIGHT OF DEGRADATION IN OUR SEX SUITE
WHERE YOU WILL BE THE MAIN COURSE
But Luca squirms because I know his secret, while his sister-in-law, Abbey, sits to his left, along with his niece, Harper, beside her.
It’s like Luca’s worlds are colliding, and mine are too. After what I saw last night…
Stop thinking about it!
I was tempted to cancel my plans to join their family brunch, but I’d never hurt Gia. Only for her will I go through this awkward hell.
Sitting on the other side of Zar, Celine keeps the conversation going. She and Abbey exchange gossip about the girls’ school while I sip coffee, wanting to bite the delicate porcelain cup.
I’m in a storm of emotions and can’t find the way home to my truth.
Last night, I stayed later than usual, taking extra laps in the pool before returning to my room to change into dry clothes to drive home.
Then I heard screams, not tortured ones. They were muffled shouts of pleasure as I followed the sound down the empty hallway, turning left and left again until I saw the white door barely cracked open.
For minutes, I stood in the dark foyer of that suite watching—just as Luca was—Zar fuck a woman who was going down on another one.
Marveling at how they all wore collars for Luca, how they fucked for him, seeing the desire in his crystal eyes controlling them, lust struck me like lightning.
Luca was stroking his mouthwatering cock and staring at Zar. And when Luca stalked Zar’s way, lording over him with his hard dick inches from Zar’s mouth, Zar said my name. Taunting Luca made him come all over Zar, and I couldn’t even gasp.
Shock silenced me.
When they saw me standing there, all I felt was…rage.
It hit me so hard I had to turn and leave without a word because…
Why am I angry?
Though I want him, I’ve fallen so hard for him; Luca doesn’t belong to me.
We work together and do these sweet, silent things for each other, but he doesn’t have to be faithful to me. He can get off however he likes.
But apparently, Luca likes using me, once again, for his pleasure. He enjoys using Zar, too, watching him fuck women who look like me.
And I saw the toys, the BDSM gear in the cabinets and the whipping cross on the wall, and the red paddle and used dildos on the platform, too.
I know Zar played with them while Luca watched. Did Luca whip the women? Did he whip Zar, too? Did he punish him before I arrived, before Luca let him fuck his “whores” too?
And what? Does Luca fuck them first? Did I miss that part? Or does he fuck them last?
I barely graduated high school, but I don’t need a psychology degree to figure it out. Luca’s a Dom, and Zar’s his sub, and Luca uses Zar to find women they fuck.
Add what I witnessed last night to the photos I saw, the tempting ones left on Luca’s desk by his stalker, and my hand shakes, lowering my cup into the saucer.
“Scarlett, you look like a princess today.” Gia gazes up at me, grinning with flakey crumbs on her face again. “You look like Ariel.”
I smile at her. On instinct, I take the napkin in my lap and gently wipe her cheeks clean. “Thank you, kiddo. And you look like the princess of chocolate croissants because it’s all over your cute face.”
Gia giggles, and she’s my only comfort. She’s the only reason I’m here because I’m dressed for war. The fact that Luca paid for this dress is extra ammunition.
It’s emerald green and strapless, hugging my curves in simple lines and skimming my thighs. My sleeve is on full display. It’s my armor, and like me, it doesn’t belong here in this posh Charleston Sunday brunch crowd.
Women like Maren sit around me in conservative dresses and elegant hats worn at church while I look like a temptress from hell because, apparently, I AM.
I know who Luca is now.
Zar too.
I thought Zar was my friend, but was he grooming me? I thought Luca secretly cared about me. But is he just using me again?
Fine.
If they want to use my name and my image as some kinky game between them…then how do you like me now?
If they can break the rules, so can I. If they can get dirty and fuck around, so can I. The problem is, I can’t fuck who I want.
Luca keeps rejecting me. He called me a mistake. He used me and swore it would never happen again like I’m something he’s ashamed of.
But then he defends me. He does sweet things for me. He whispers in my ear how much he wants me. He almost kisses me, confessing how he aches for me. But then he won’t touch me? But he watches Zar fuck women who look like me? And he fucks them too?
Why?
I don’t know.
But I sure can fuck with Luca.
I feel the public glares. I smell the judgment in the room. The lecherous stares of most men in the restaurant aim my way. They want me. They desire me.
They’llfuck me.
I don’t know how it makes Luca feel, but the women in the restaurant obviously disapprove. I’m trash to them. The only women who seem comfortable in my presence are Celine and Abbey.
Celine’s been nice to me since the first day. I know a good woman when I meet her.
It’s Abbey who surprises me. She’s the opposite of Maren. You’d think Luca’s sister-in-law would hate me, too. That she’d see me as Maren does, as a cheap seductress. Abbey’s the sister of Luca’s dead wife, and I get it; hers is the only judgment I respect. She has a right to be protective of him, of Gia, too.
But no, Abbey’s kind to me, asking, “Scarlett, I understand you have a new puppy.”
“What little angel told you that secret?” I grin Gia’s way, and she smiles, guilty.
“Both girls,” Abbey glances from her daughter, Harper, to Gia, “they’re begging for puppies. It’s all they talk about.”
“Baba says I have to be ten before I can have one.”
Gia pouts it, so Luca explains, “You have to be old enough to walk the dog outside by yourself.”
“But Scarlett can help me. She walks with me outside everywhere I go, and she has a puppy.”
It’s automatic. Luca finally looks at me, and he can see past my smile right through to my fiery eyes, demanding his answer.
What game are you playing?
We can’t fuck; it’s against your rules. But you can watch your best friend fuck women who look like me after you fuck them, too? You said I was a mistake, but you come so hard to my name and all over your best friend saying it?
“Yeah, Baba,” Zar chimes in, “let Scarlett help you.”
And this guilty fucker.
When I turn my chin, Zar’s grinning at me. He’s so cocky and warm, it’s cute, and I can’t stop myself. Dammit, I grin back.
I like Zar. Underneath his swagger and bad-boy smile, he’s a good man. We’ve gotten close, sparring every day, and I trust him. I don’t want to, especially now, but I do.
I can sense it. Zar wasn’t grooming me to use me for sex; he wants to share Luca with me. Getting off on kink doesn’t make you a bad person, I should know.
But I also know when someone’s trying so hard to be happy, they’re not. When someone acts like nothing bothers them, something haunts them.
There’s more to Zar than his sexy smile and quick wit.
Zar fucks a lot of women. He’s clearly very good at it. Because with those dark eyes, those thick lashes, and that body that rivals Luca’s and that cock? That curve in it? I got an eyeful of Zar last night, and he loves it. He’s leaning back in his dining chair, giving me a gander at more.
“What do you say, Scarlett?” He taunts us, “Will you help Luca with his little problem?”
It’s an inside joke Luca’s daughter doesn’t get.
“Will, you, Baba? Will you?” Gia bounces in her chair. “Can we get a puppy? If Scarlett helps us, she can?—”
“No!” Luca pounds his fist on the table, barking so fast it’s cruel.
It makes Gia’s bottom lip suddenly tremble, and Abbey looks at Luca with shock. He doesn’t usually lose his temper with Gia. It’s obvious, and it makes her cry. Silent tears start spilling over her cheeks, and they burn my eyes, too.
Gia reminds me of my little sisters. I can’t help it. I lean over and kiss the top of her head. “It’s okay,” I soothe. “You’ll get a puppy one day. And you can play with Crimson until then, I promise.”
When I glance up at Luca, wanting to punch him for hurting her feelings, his feelings punch me back.
There’s a storm in his eyes, watching me comfort his daughter—guilt churning with grief and something else. I don’t know what it is as he reaches for Gia.
Quickly, he lifts her into his lap. “I’m sorry, my kóri.” He wipes her tears with his thumb then kisses her cheeks. “Baba’s sorry he made you cry. I love you so much, okay? I promise I’ll get you a puppy one day, and you can name it whatever you wish.”
He cradles her head to his chest and closes his eyes, kissing her curls, and hot rocks choke my throat.
Why can’t Luca just be an asshole? Why does he have to make me feel used but be so willing to share his love?
All the love he has for his daughter.
Why didn’t I have a dad like that?
I’m not jealous.
It just hurts like hell.
“Can we name him Baklava?” Gia asks against his chest, and he laughs. We all do. “Yes, my kóri,” he mutters into her hair, “you can name your puppy Baklava.”
It’s cute. It breaks the tension enough so I can finally eat the delicious Greek omelet before me.
As I chew and chat with Abbey and Celine, I feel the intense looks exchanged between Luca and Zar, like they’re silently fighting over me. It’s not that I suspect Zar wants me to himself. No, Zar clearly serves Luca. He wants to give him what he desires. He wants to fuck me while Luca watches, and why?
Why does Zar need to serve Luca, and why does Luca deny himself? And would I let them do it? Would I let them use me that way?
I’m so confused, but I won’t look at them. I stay focused on the conversation until something over Abbey’s shoulder catches my eye.
That woman?
Sitting at another table, she’s wearing one of those fancy Sunday hats, the wide brim disguising part of her face, but I catch her stealing glances. A man in a grey suit sits with her. He’s wearing a wedding band when he lifts a mimosa to his lips, but that doesn’t stop the woman from looking.
She’s devouring Luca’s profile.
Setting my fork down, I talk to Abbey while secretly watching the woman behind her. Finally, my instinct is too strong. I lean over, my lips seeking Zar’s ear like he’s my date, while I tell him, “In a minute, barely look to your two o’clock. The woman in the yellow hat. Isn’t that Brooke Turner?”
Zar gently kisses my cheek, surprising me because I like it. It warms me, but he’s also wicked smart. He’s quickly playing along.
I don’t look at Luca when I pull away from Zar’s lips. It will break the ruse, and why should I care? I don’t—not right now. After Zar glances to his right, he glances back at me, nodding yes.
Like she knows she’s been spotted, Luca’s stalker quietly rises from her chair. Grabbing her clutch from the table, her steps are quick. She’s headed to the Ladies’ Room or a back exit, but I’m hot on her heels.
Darting down the hallway, she looks over her shoulder.
I toss my hair like this is an innocent trip to fix my face, too, and she’s stuck. Two waiters stand by the emergency exit, so she darts left, disappearing behind the swinging door of the Ladies’ Room where I’m right behind her.
Shoving the door open, a punching blur crosses my face, but I’m too trained for this. With an arm block, I evade her punch with my left while my right hand grabs her neck.
“Hey, Brooke.” Slamming her hard into the wall behind her, I knock her hat off. The shock in her eyes delights me while I squeeze her throat—just a bit. I’m not in kill mode. Yet. “You’ve been banned from this property, so it seems I’m gonna have to choke you till the cops come.”
“Let go of me, you bitch.”
She’s blonde and beautiful and a snake caught by its tail.
“Nah, nah.” I laugh. “Don’t be stupid. I’m the bitch with my hand choking your neck. You really want to dance with this devil? Because I promise you, I’m your hell.”
“Are you fucking him?” She doesn’t care. “Are you with Luca because he’s mine? Luca’s mine. He belongs to me. He loves me.”
Her blue eyes shake. I vaguely recognize a mania in them because I feel it, too, for Luca, and it makes me ask, “What happened with him?”
Because something did, I can tell, but I don’t get her answer.
The bathroom door slams open behind me, and Luca and a team of hotel security take over. Like he knows better, Luca doesn’t speak to Brooke. “Take her away,” he instructs his Chief of Security. “Discreetly,” he growls low while they put zip ties on her wrists.
“Luca.” Brooke’s desperate for his attention. “Luca, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know you love me, and I’m sorry. Please, look at me. Talk to me. Tell me how to serve you. Tell me you love me, too.”
The desperation in her eyes is sad and scary as security drags her into the hallway, and the door swings closed behind them.
Now, Luca and I are alone in the Ladies’ Room, and I glare at him. “What the fuck did you do to her?”
“Nothing.” He glares right back.
“We’re in a room for shit, but you’re the only one full of it.” I step into his shadow. “You fucked with her, didn’t you? Like you did those women last night? Zar gets your victims, and you break their hearts. Right? But let me guess; you couldn’t cast your happy pussy spell over Brooke, could you? No. You fucked her, and that fucked with her head because now she’s delusional.”
His molars clench. “She wanted it. We didn’t hurt her. She came back for more, a couple of times, but then…”
He can’t say it, but I can.
I feel it. I understand Brooke.
“But then, when you told her it’s over, you hurt her. You told her she was a mistake and left her like that, and she didn’t know what to feel. What to think. You play your fucking games with women, and some can take it. They love it. Some can let you go, Luca.” I hate this pain. I hate how he makes me pound his chest. “And some can’t. You leave them, and they get hurt. They feel abandoned. They feel used.”
He grabs my punching wrist, his other hand sinking into my strands, tugging my hair until our eyes are locked.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Scarlett.”
“But you did. You used me, and now you use women who look like me. You play games with them and me, and I don’t understand. Why?”
The truth overwhelms me.
I have no filters, only rare feelings flooding my heart, welling in my eyes. I don’t care if he sees my pain; he’s the reason I feel it.
“You act like you care about me, Luca. You say we’re professionals, but then you do romantic things. You leave me gifts. You defend me from others. You make me feel special like I matter to you, but then you’re so cruel. You call me a grave mistake, but then you fuck women who look like me because…I’m what? I’m just trash you threw away? I’m not good enough for your rich world? I’m not worth keeping? Worth loving?”
My past and present pain drown my chest. I can’t breathe as my tears finally escape.
Luca presses his forehead to mine, his grip on my wrist and hair squeezing so tight it hurts.
“Scarlett, you’re the only one.”
“The only one…what?”
Passion burns in his eyes. The heat of his towering body pressed against mine confuses me even more. The intensity of it melts his mask, falling to the floor in flames as he confesses, “You’re the only woman I’ve been with since my wife died. No one else but you.”
If time could stop, it would.
If my breath could cease, it does.
If he could cry, he’d do it. It’s in his eyes. They’re full of grief and guilt and pain and searching mine for forgiveness. For an answer and…
“Why?” I ask. “Why me?”
“I knew it the moment we met.”
“Knew what?”
“That you were strong enough to take my pain.”
“But I hurt, too. I have a heart, too.”
“I know you do. I see it all the time.” Tenderness softens his face. “You don’t know what that night meant to me, why you’re the only woman I’ve been with, and what you’re becoming to Gia now. I need you for this job. I can’t lose you. Your company can’t find out, or you’re gone, and that’s what makes this so fucking hard.”
“Makes what hard?” I shake my head, confused. After what I saw last night, I know this isn’t just about work or remaining professional.
It’s about something more.
“Luca, I’d never violate someone’s marriage or commitment. And she was beautiful. I’ve seen the pictures of Darby around your home. I see why you loved your wife so much, but…” Why am I pushing him?Why do I care so much? “But it’s been four years. It’s okay to move on. Even if it’s not with me.”
HIF #9: It’s that bad.
I’ve fallen for Luca so much. I guess it’s love because I only want him to be happy, even at my expense.
“Never.” His thumb lingers across my wet cheek. “You’re my passion, Scarlett, and that’s my punishment. Even if you didn’t work for me, even if I met you in a café and I fell for you, which I would, I made a promise by her grave, and I’m keeping it. I broke it with you once and?—”
“Why?” I grab his shirt. He’s sweating; I am, too. “Why did you break your promise? Why did you do it with me? Why did you do this to us because it fucking hurts?”
“I know. It’s killing me.”
“Then why? Why did you use me like that? Why did you fuck me like that? Like I belonged to you. Like you couldn’t get enough of me.” The logic starts falling into place—that night and what he just told me. “Was it just me? I’m the only one who felt something? But you, you were just what? Just getting laid after so long? Is that why you fucked me like that?”
He tugs my hair. “I fucked you like that because I couldn’t believe it. I’d never felt that before.”
“Felt what?”
“I never even felt it with my wife. Ever. With any woman.”
I don’t care how big he is, how much money or power, or goddamn sex appeal he has; I can drop him to his knees.
“Felt what, Luca? Be a man and name it. What did you feel with me?”
Because I know the name for what I feel, but I won’t say it. Not first.
“This—”
He slams me against the wall, his hand still fisting my hair. He crushes my body against the cold marble tiles, but we’re not. We’re ablaze, flames licking with desire as he starts rutting like he wants inside me again, pressing his lips to my ear, his other hand clutching my hip.
“When I call you ‘my whore’ it means everything to me because I’m finally free with you. I’ve always wanted a woman who’s like me. You’re the only one for me. I’m man enough to know what I feel for you is so fucking strong; it has no name.” Even with guilt in his eyes, he growls, grinding his swelling cock against my center, spilling heat through my veins. “Because you feel this too, don’t you, Scarlett? We match. We belong together. It’s insane between us.”
“Yes.” I grab the back of his neck and a fist full of his long black strands and yank hard so he can feel my strength, too. “I feel you, Luca, but I’m not afraid. I can take whatever’s killing you inside and make you live again.”
With a clench of his jaw, he grabs my thigh, slinging my leg to wrap around him before he shoves my dress up to my waist. Exposing my black thong, he thrusts hard into my wet lace, lifting my heels off the floor.
His hard cock is so close. I can feel his hungry tip under his pants, urging against my covered pussy, and all he has to do is drop his zipper, rip my wet thong aside, and thrust inside me where he belongs.
I’m throbbing for him.
He dusts his lips over mine, and my knees almost buckle. Grinding against my aching cunt, his thick cock is rubbing my clit, torturing us.
“Fuck,” he grunts. “Fuck, I want you so fucking bad, Scarlett; you’re the punishment I deserve.”
“Then let me punish you.” I yank his hair again, rubbing my slick thong over his linen pants, feeling his painful need. “Let me fuck you again so hard, I promise it’ll hurt us both.”
His eyes slowly blink, lust flooding them as his hand seeks where I’m spread open for him.
“You torture me, don’t you?” His fingertips play with the hem of my thong. “You tease everyone looking like this today.” His touch is fire, licking the edge of my wet lace, sliding it over, and exposing my aching pussy. “You’re so beautiful. They all want to fuck you, my belle.” Barely, his fingertip brushes my clit, and it kills me. It makes me shake, moaning for him. “But this pussy is mine. I claimed it. It belongs to me now, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.” I can’t take this need. I’ll do anything. “Yes, Luca. What do you want? To watch me? To play with me? To be my master again? Do you want me for yourself, or do you want to watch me with Zar? Or do you want to share me with him?”
He groans, panting over my lips, tickling my clit while I’m breaking the rules and losing my mind. My pussy is soaked and aching for Luca, any part of him, please.
He’s a prisoner, too. He clenches his jaw so tight. “I need everything with you.” His fingertip lightly circles my clit, making my leg wrapped around him shake. “But I can’t. I won’t.” His thick middle finger teases into my entrance, not even an inch. “I meant it that night.” He does it again, barely piercing me with his finger, and I groan in sweet agony. “You are ma flamme, my flame, because you fucking burn inside me, Scarlett, and I don’t know how to get you out.”
“Because you can’t, Luca,” I sigh, rolling my hips, needing more of his touch. “You’ve burned me as much as I’ve burned you, and now what? What do you want, Luca?”
“Good question.”
A voice bounces off the marble. We turn our startled stares to see Zar standing in the doorway.
“You two better decide what you want because Gia’s asking for you.” He warns. He’s not smiling. “She’s asking for both of you.”