Chapter 19
How cansomeone smirk and eat shrimp ’n grits at the same time? I don’t know, but my sister, Ruby, sure has mastered the skill.
She blew up my phone this morning with texts. It’s like she could sense my life was in danger of love.
Luca couldn’t ignore the buzzing of my phone, charging on his nightstand, so when I assured him it was just my sister, he insisted, “Invite her to brunch with us. I’d love to meet her.”
I warned him that’s like inviting a lit red flare into a fireworks store, but he didn’t listen.
“So tell us some stories.” Zar sounds too thrilled, bantering with my sister across from him. Our family brunch is different today. Celine’s not here, and Abbey and Harper aren’t here either. Harper’s tummy is still sour from yesterday’s party. “Tell us how many boys in the neighborhood Scarlett beat up.”
I shake my head while Ruby laughs. “She’s not always like that. Sometimes she’d do the craziest things to make us laugh like?—”
“Please don’t.” I’m afraid of what’s about to fly out of Ruby’s unfiltered mouth.
“Please do,” Luca gently commands, smiling with his arm draped over Gia’s chair on my left.
The way he gently caresses his fingertips over my shoulder, too, keeps our connection from last night.
I’ve never seen Luca this happy for so many hours. He’s been smiling all morning, so forget kinky toys and collars. Happy family Luca dominates me the most.
“Well,” Ruby looks like a shaken soda bottle about to burst, “she liked to do this thing with tissues and the fan by our bed.”
“Oh shit,” I quietly groan, then wince, remembering Gia’s beside me.
“She’d shred tissues into strips, shove them up her nose, and let them flutter in the breeze.” Ruby chuckles. “She called it the ‘booger dance’ just to make me and my sisters laugh.”
Gia giggles, Luca laughs, and Zar drawls, intrigued, “There’s more of y’all?”
I elbow him. “Don’t even. Or you’ll find your neck in a ninja choke.”
“Yeah,” Ruby replies, “there are four of us, and Scarlett was the ring leader. She’d do anything to make us laugh. She can do the best armpit farts in the world.”
HIF #15: Kill me now. I’m trying to be all elegant and shit while my little sister slays with stories of my Body Part Art.
“I want to hear that.” Luca shocks me. He’s too relaxed around my sister and amused by what I’ll do for him when hell freezes over.
“What’s an armpit fart?” Gia’s curious, too.
“Scarlett will show us,” Luca taunts.
I’m about to flatly refuse at the risk of death by embarrassment, but a new plan forms—one I’d never imagine—one that would be the most hilarious and dangerously tender moment ever.
“Alright.” I confront Luca with a grin. “I’ll show Gia an armpit fart if you do it, too.”
Peels of laughter bubble up Gia’s throat. “Yeah, Baba!” She’s too excited. “Fart with Scarlett!”
I double over, laughing so hard I’m crying. We all are because this is too ridiculous. This is too much fun and like family, and I love it.
Ruby shares more mortifying stories at my expense while Luca caresses the strands falling over my shoulder. He lets anyone witness his quiet affection for me, including Ruby, who turns her focus on Zar. It’s like she wants to solve the whole puzzle of our arrangement.
“So, Zar,” she probes, “where do you live?”
“I have a suite on the fifth floor,” he beams. “I have a paltry view of the harbor and a place on the Isle of Palms, too. Just a little fishin’ shack.”
He teases Ruby because we all know there are no shacks on the Isle of Palms. Every square foot on that coastal island is worth thousands.
“Uh-huh.” Ruby smirks. “That’s a shack of B.S.”
I can tell Zar’s admiring Ruby. She sits across from him, wearing a burgundy wrap dress, with her auburn hair piled high on her head with tendrils falling. She licks her glossed lips because Zar has that effect, Luca even more so. And I don’t blame my sister. Window shopping is allowed.
“Baba,” Gia asks, “what’s B.S.?”
“B.S. is…” Luca searches for an appropriate answer.
So Ruby jumps in. “B.S. is beach sand.”
Zar snorts, setting his linen napkin on the table. “Yes, my girl.” He leans over me, pulling Gia’s attention to his smiling face. “I’m full of beach sand.”
His answer knits Gia’s brows. The adult banter confuses her, so I quickly suggest, “How about after brunch I’ll take you to meet Crimson, my puppy?”
Then I flinch, realizing I should’ve asked Luca first. I’m not her parent. I can’t take her for the day. I’m her protection officer, and her…what?
I don’t know because that fell from my lips too easily. I just want to take care of Gia.
“Is that okay?” I ask Luca. “Would you like to come with us?” I glance around the table. “Everyone? We can go to the aquarium, too.”
“Yay!” Gia bounces in her seat. She’s feeling much better today.
“I’d love it.” The heat in Luca’s eyes answering me makes global warming even worse.
“I can’t,” Ruby sighs. “I promised Rose that me and Cherry would help paint her new condo. The shi—” She catches her curse. “The stuff I do for my sisters.”
“I can’t wait to meet them.” Zar sounds flirty, playful…and kidding.
Though I’m not. I’ll kill Zar if he fucks with my sister’s, too. But he’d never cross that line. He wouldn’t hurt me that way. My sisters are off-limits, he knows.
But other women? I’m not sure.
I know Luca’s committed to me. I know he means it; I’m the only woman he wants. Even if he won’t share everything with me, I’ll be here when he finally breaks.
But with Zar?
Untethered is the feeling I get with him. Like no matter how Zar submits when he chooses to, you can’t tie him down. Not forever. He won’t allow it.
Proving my point, Zar leans back in his chair. “I can’t go. I have work. We have a private event. A VIP has rented out the King’s Club for the game tonight.”
“Game?” I scoff. Since when does Zar’s job as the CFO have him managing special events? “What game?”
“Sunday night football,” he huffs like I should know. “Atlanta versus Arizona.”
Still, I’m confused, so I glance at Luca, reading his expression. He’s searching Zar’s eyes for an answer, too, but Luca’s not scowling about it. The silent words they exchange are intense but calm like they’re confident in what they share.
“Football?” Ruby perks up. “Do you need a cocktail waitress to help?”
“Maybe,” Zar drawls. “The VIP is a Carolina Panther out on injury. He’s home this weekend, watching a game with his boys.”
“Since when are you into football?” I pry.
Mischief lights up Zar’s deep brown eyes. “I’m not,” he goads. “I’m just curious about our VIP guest.”
What is he up to?
It sounds like Zar’s serious. Like he’s trying to make Luca… jealous? And with another man? An NFL player? And since when are NFL players out as anything but straight? And if one isn’t, how would Zar know?
I swear, the mysteries surrounding Zar and Luca keep haunting me. Yes, we’re getting close. Yes, we snuggle like a family, watching movies in bed. But yes, when Zar is free, he’s up to something. And yes, Luca can share so much with me, but it’s not everything.
I want more.
Including answers.
Two hours later, Luca’s propped beside me on the grass, his legs stretched before him, while we watch Gia play “dog trainer” to Crimson.
Families spill out of the aquarium. Tourists too. It’s a bright, crisp late November afternoon with the sun warming us in the park.
Gia commands, “Sit!” and Crimson patiently plays along. I hold the handle of his long leash securely in my left hand, propped behind me. Then my heart flutters when I feel Luca’s fingertips gently caress my right hand beside his in the grass, hidden so Gia can’t see our intimate exchange.
“I love this,” he mutters. “Thank you for inviting us.”
Gia looks happy with Crimson. She’s so enthralled she can’t hear me ask him, “Will you get her a puppy now? You know she’s going to wear you down.”
His chuckle is deep. “We have years to wait.”
We? Years? Wait?
Is he talking about Gia and a puppy? Me and him? Or all three of us? Or four of us?
“So,” I ask, “what’s going on with Zar?”
“I allow him to explore.” He states it so calmly, I’m shocked.
“But,” I blurt, “he’s with us.”
“Yes,” Luca soothes, “he is.”
“So, why did he make it sound like he’s on the hunt? Like he wants to score an NFL player, too?”
“Because he can.”
Luca sounds too Dom, too confident about our relationships, but I’m not. I sit up. I want answers but don’t take my eyes off Gia, so I ask over my shoulder. “And that doesn’t bother you?”
“No,” he answers. “I know he’s mine, but he needs more.” His tone lowers. “Does it bother you?”
“Yes,” I stammer. “I mean, sorta. I thought we were a family now—the four of us: me, you, Gia, and Zar.”
“We are,” he insists.
“But then, why is Zar allowed to leave us?”
And why is my heart clenching? Why am I grabbing at something right in my hand? We had last night together. We’ll have next Saturday, too. Why am I suddenly feeling like I’ll lose this?
Luca sits up—the warmth of his big hand presses into the small of my back. Gia can’t see it, but I sure feel it.
“He’s not leaving us,” Luca assures, “and I’m not leaving you. I know you have scars from your father, my belle, but we will never hurt you. We’re yours, and you’re ours. I’ll make sure of it.”
“But…” I stutter, my thoughts tripping over past pain. “What if Zar finds someone else?”
Luca doesn’t answer at first. Gia’s distant giggles fill the air before he replies, “Maybe he should. I want him to be happy. I have you now, so he should have someone, too.”
“But you and Zar have each other, too. You’ve been together for so long. Aren’t you worried you’ll lose him?”
Silence falls over our dilemma.
“Shake!” Gia kneels before Crimson, gently tugging at his paw, and he lifts it. “Good boy!” She’s so cute. I can’t bear to lose her, Luca, and what I’m finally loving.
“Listen to me, Belle.” Luca’s voice nears my ear. “I’m his Dom. I always will be, and that means I serve him, too. So, when I can’t give him everything he needs, I want him to find it with someone else. That’s what he’s searching for, and that’s how much I love him. I owe him.”
“Why do you owe him?”
“Because,” his voice gets gruff, “I wouldn’t let him have what he needed before, and it hurt him. He suffered for years, and I did, too. I’m not making the same mistake. He deserves what he needs.”
Words can’t find me, though I think I understand.
This has something to do with Darby. With whatever Luca and Zar were fighting about that night on the beach. The night Abbey told me about. The night Darby was killed. Or died? Or had an accident?
What exactly happened, I don’t know.
But I’ve had this feeling since this all began that I’m the first for Luca, I’m his primary…whatever…and Zar is second. And not once has Zar seemed upset by it.
No, it’s like it’s what Zar needs. He needs freedom. He needs Luca to be okay. He needs Gia to be happy. But Zar also needs something Luca’s not willing to give.
Will I be the same?
The question hangs heavy in the light autumn air.
“Baba, watch!” Gia circles her finger like I taught her. “Roll over!” She commands Crimson, and he does it with a doggy grin.
“Good job!” Luca praises her. “Now give him a treat. Reward him.”
Gia walks over and takes the dog treat I pluck from my waist pouch when I walk Crimson. She returns, gingerly offering it, giggling when his muzzle tickles her palm. Then, she goes back to more rounds of “sits” and “shakes” while my silence must trouble Luca.
“Please tell me, Scarlett,” he rumbles low, almost tender by my ear. “Tell me I give you what you need. I give you my world. I give you my family and every dollar I have and pleasure I can. I promise. I want you to be happy, too, but you’re not Zar. You’re more than my sub. I will never share your heart with anyone else because…you have mine.”
Last night, he didn’t say it, but we felt it—love.
So, I let him see me nod. I let him reach for my hand and squeeze it tight. I let him gently peck my cheek and make my heart accept it.
I may not have the love I need, but Luca gives me the love I want. The love I’ve never had before, though he may never say it. I don’t need him to.
I need him to show it.
It feels more than good enough as we stroll with Gia back down the walkway, heading toward my condo building. It’s a short walk, a half-block, while I let Gia hold Crimson’s leash and I guide her shoulder.
But instinct has me suddenly squeezing her tighter, protecting her, because…I sense it…the tingling up my spine, raising hairs on my neck.
Someone’s stalking behind us.
And I know exactly who she is.
“Take Gia into my condo,” I whisper to Luca. “You know my code. Take her and Crimson inside and secure the door.”
Luca protests, “But?—”
“Don’t make a scene,” I mutter. “Brooke’s behind us, and that’s exactly what she wants. Just take Gia into my building. You can secure her there and wait for me.”
I glance and catch Luca clenching his jaw. He wants to turn around and fight Brooke, but he trusts me. We’re a team effort; he trusts me to do as I’m trained.
I walk with him and Gia up to the entrance of my building, my muscles tensing, knowing Brooke’s lingering feet behind us on the public walkway along the river’s edge.
I wait until Luca’s entered my code, the glass door swinging open to my building’s lobby. Gia and Crimson bound inside, excited, while Luca ushers her safely in.
Yes, Luca has the size and skills and ferocity to kill for his daughter. There’s no doubt. But he can’t protect her and chase down a threat at the same time.
That’s my job.
Once the lobby door latches closed behind him and I know they’re secure, I whip around so fast that Brooke’s startled. She’s wearing the same dusty rose jogging set from yesterday and the same white hat like she didn’t go home. She’s been stalking, waiting for us to leave the hotel, and her eyes widen with shock that I’m not running from her.
No.
Here I come, bitch.
The squeal she lets out is almost comical, but she’s fast. And she has the advantage. She turns and knows where she’s going.
Racing through the tourists and locals crowding the popular destination, Brooke weaves through them, but I’m on her heels.
I’m not armed with a gun and don’t need one. Because I swear, once I get my hands on her, I have plenty of ammo. All that Luca’s PIs and HGR Security have dug up on Brooke, her husband, and their kinky judge friends. I’m locked and loaded once I catch her.
Like any obsessed stalker, she’s not thinking. Brooke is ruled by impulse. She races up the block, making a foolish mistake because I know where she’s going. I slow down because she’s headed back to The Mercier like she can’t stop herself. Like she’s drawn to Luca, not logic.
We have a protective order against her. Once she’s on the hotel’s property, she violates it but doesn’t seem to care.
Darting down the side street beside Luca’s hotel, she aims for the parking garage entrance, running right past the barrier arm and up the first ramp, but she doesn’t even make it inside her car.
Scrambling for her keys, she gives me vital seconds to catch up to her. With a fearless leap like I’m back in the fighting cage, I’m on her. Clamping down on the back of her neck, I slam her skull down on the hood of her white Mercedes. We both get bruised by the crash, and I fucking love the pain.
“Bless your heart,” I hiss, shaking her neck. “You should’ve listened, Brooke. Don’t fuck with what’s mine.”
She laughs manically, her face smashed against metal. “He’s not yours, and you know it.”
I could debate her, but I don’t…because deep down…she’s right.
The fact makes me rage. With my free hand, I torque her arm, pinning her wrist against her back with enough painful pressure while I kick her legs apart. When she jerks, trying to resist, I crack her finger in my grasp, threatening her bones with a break, and she cries out.
“Hush,” I tell her. “Fight me, and there’s more pain where this comes from.”
Torturing her hand, I let go of her neck while I reach in my pack for my phone. The screen scans my face, and with a quick tap across it, I send the distress beacon through my HGR app. Whoever’s on duty in the hotel lobby will be here in a minute.
“You can play house with him all you want,” Brooke taunts. “His girl may love you and your mutt, but Luca loves me. I saw it in his eyes.”
“Uh-huh,” I huff. “Seems there are lots of men who love you, Brooke. Your husband. Judge Culter. Judge Anson. Judge Williams. You’ve been very public with your pony play.” She stiffens, and I smirk. “Bitch, I ain’t judging your kink. But take it inside because we have drone footage that caught your last outdoor breeding in the paddock of your husband’s ranch, and I’m impressed. I don’t mind a riding crop, either, but I draw the line at wearing a saddle for men to ride. But at least it covered that tacky tattoo above your ass.”
“You wouldn’t,” she fumes.
“Oh, I am.” I dig my elbow deeper into her spine. “Those judges’ wives and their congregations don’t know how they like to breed you like a filly twice a month, but I’ll be happy to share the gospel truth with everyone unless they lock you away.”
“Don’t,” she snivels. “Please.”
“Too late,” I growl. “I’m warning you. You need help. You need to spend a few months behind bars to get it through your obsessed skull—stay away from Luca and his daughter. Forever. Or I’ll be your death sentence. I’ll be the accidental slip and fall in the night that cracks your neck.”
The pounding of steps, running across pavement, turns my head.
It’s Wade. He’s running up the ramp our way while the distant wail of approaching sirens fills the air.
“Neigh,” I hiss in Brooke’s ear, “if you think I’m fucking bluffing.”
Considering Charlie’s question,Luca taps his gold pen on the boardroom table.
It’s Monday morning. Gia’s safely at school. Brooke is behind bars, for months at least, and my boss has called this necessary meeting.
“Mr. Mercier?” Charlie asks from the intercom at the center of Luca’s table. “Do you need more time, or are you prepared to decide now?” Luca looks at me with an intensity that burns while she asks, “Do you want Ms. Jones to remain on her assignment though the threat to you and your daughter has been temporarily eliminated?”
I purse my lips, anxious for his answer.
Luca was consumed with rage yesterday once he safely returned to his hotel with Gia. Then, he was relieved when he found out I caught Brooke…for now.
Then, once Gia was asleep, he held me so tight in his kitchen, overwhelmed with gratitude. “Forever, my belle,” he murmured into my hair. “Forever I am indebted to you.”
His embrace, his need, his body against mine—it was overwhelming—and his restraint, too. I couldn’t take it. I needed Luca so badly right then that I had to go home.
Yesterday evening, Jameson followed up with several surprise appearances at three judges’ homes, showing them drone footage photos, assuring their compliance. Brooke will be sentenced to almost a year in prison, so now what?
Is it over?
I don’t want to leave Luca and Gia.
But if Luca is no longer my client, I won’t be breaking the Red Rule. But it will break my heart if I can’t see him and Gia almost every day.
“In your assessment,” Luca asks Charlie. She can’t come to an in-person meeting or do a video chat. She’s home, feeding her month-old son. “Are all threats eliminated?”
Charlie’s sigh is audible.
I sit between Jameson and Wade, as HGR staff on one side of the conference table, while Luca and Zar sit across from us, waiting for Charlie’s opinion. She’s had so much experience with this, we trust it.
“You’re a handsome billionaire who’s very lucrative for the paparazzi.” Charlie doesn’t bullshit. “Too many people target you. You couldn’t live a safe and secret life even if you tried.”
At the mention of a “secret life,” Luca’s burning stare flicks back to mine. I know what he fights to keep safe—Gia and his public life as her widower father, and me and Zar in his secret life as our Dom.
Will he ever be free?
I feel bad for Luca. Has he ever known a life where he isn’t being someone for everyone else? An heir and loyal son. A young CEO. A faithful husband. A dedicated father. A devoted friend.
That’s why his Dom side keeps him sane. It’s just for him, and I understand. Only with Zar and me can he be himself. Though a ghost keeps him starved for true freedom.
That’s why he answers Charlie, “Ms. Jones stays. We need her.”
Jameson doesn’t miss the quiet sigh of relief from my lungs. He sits beside me, nudging my foot under the table.
“I’ll stay instead,” Jameson offers. “Ms. Jones is rare. I’m sure she’s needed on another detail, so I can cover the mark. Your daughter is comfortable with me now.”
Luca silently seethes, fury dripping from his smirk. I’m glad Charlie’s not here to witness it. She’d catch on immediately. Jameson’s trying to protect my job. He knows what’s going on.
“No,” Luca cooly replies. “Gia’s most comfortable with Ms. Jones. She stays.”
Wade clears his throat. He asserts his seniority. “Yes, Ms. Jones is an exemplary Protection Officer, but she can’t stay forever.” Wade knows, too. He long ago figured us out. He’s warning me from his heart, “Something will change one day. Best prepare for it.”
I chew my bottom lip, afraid of the questions in my heart.
Who will change? Me? Because my heart can only fight for Luca for so long. Or Luca? Because he’ll finally bury his guilt.
“It’ll be fine,” Zar assures with his warm gaze on me. “We’ll make it work, and it will for a long time.”
Is he talking about my job or our family with Luca and Gia?
I don’t know what Zar did last night, but he found the time to text me dozens of “badass bitch” memes once he found out about Brooke.
“It’s settled then,” Charlie announces. “Unless you object otherwise, Ms. Jones, are you willing to stay on your detail?”
My eyes anchor to Luca’s crystal gaze, and I don’t care if my colleagues can tell. He doesn’t, either. Deep shadows fall over Luca’s face, and they’re not sexy Dom ones. They’re the shadows of a man who’s lost so much and needs me now.
So I answer Charlie and his waiting eyes.
“I’m very willing.”