Chapter 21
“Clean her,”Luca commands Zar, and I’m aching for real touch.
So, when the firm tip of Zar’s tongue gently laves over my lonely clit, I groan, “Oh my god.”
I try silencing my voice, my lips drooling over Luca’s files. Paper clips bite at my nipples, pressed against the cool wood of Luca’s desk. My legs are spread open in heels, shaking at Luca’s relentless fuck of my ass with a glass dildo that’s the perfect width, lusciously gliding in and out.
But something about the warmth of Luca’s hand, caressing my hair, gently holding my head pinned down on his desk, makes me need this.
I need him.
Everything wrong we do feels so right. That’s when you know you’ve met your soulmate. Because, be it heaven or hell, you belong together.
Nothing feels as right as Luca inside me, as him kissing me and holding me tight. I still remember my awe at the power of our bodies connected. How it made me cry; it made him cry, too. We were destined to be together.
But I trust Luca’s promises, which means I can never truly have him. The ache is killing me, but at least he gives pleasure beyond my wildest fantasies.
I can’t believe I’m here, letting myself be held down and degraded by him, and it’s heaven.
Zar’s lips start sucking my excited clit, his warm tongue laving through my sticky lips, and Luca starts to growl.
“Fuck yes,” he praises us. “Look at my stud,” he groans. “That’s it,” he taunts Zar. “Lick your cum off my whore’s pussy; she loves being used.” He tugs at my hair. “Don’t you?”
“Yes, Master.” It’s so true.
Luca thrusts the dildo faster into my ass, and stars start shooting across my vision, the brutal pounding shaking my thighs. Zar’s tenderly sucking my clit, and my next orgasm is building so high and fast.
“Oh, my whore needs to come.” Luca coaxes, “Doesn’t she? Say it.”
“Yes, Master. Please,” I pant. “I want to come with your cock fucking my ass and your mouth licking your cum off my pussy, please.”
I understand Luca. I know what he needs to hear. That every pleasure I receive is from him, and it’s my truth.
Zar may kneel between my legs, but I’m Luca’s. Every inch of my flesh belongs to him. I come for him. I fall apart and wake again, only for him.
The thrusting stops. It leaves my body trembling before Luca guides my hand to grab the base of the glass dildo. “Fuck your ass for me, my belle.” His accent changes. He sounds gruff and pained with lust. “Fuck your ass for me to watch while I come on it for my stud to devour.” He smacks my buttock hard, making me jump. “And once your pretty pussy is dripping with my cum, I’ll let my whore come, too.”
I moan. I obey. I shudder. Watching him over my shoulder, I slowly plunge the dildo in and out for Luca to relish, and he’s obsessed. He’s hot as hell watching me degrade myself for him, fuck myself for him. So, I make it hotter and harder for him.
“Look at my ass gape for you, Master.” I pull the dildo out, the exposure to only him thrilling me. “Do you see? I’m yours. I’m so open for you, Luca. I’m waiting for your cock to fill me with your cum.”
“Fuck, Belle,” he groans.
It’s the truth, and it torments us. But I see him cracking, his eyes bewitched and unable to resist me. His fist starts jerking his gorgeous swollen cock so fast, and Zar’s moan fills the room.
I suspect they’ve never done this with a woman, and we’ll all lose our minds to it. It’ll bind us even more, so I start thrusting the dildo faster, making Luca grunt while Zar’s tongue flicks across my clit, giving Luca the lewdest, most erotic show.
“Luca,” I start begging. “Luca.” I keep saying his name because I’m right here. I need him. I need to come. My pussy aches for him. He must be staring right at it. “Luca, please, fuck me,” I beg for us all, and he grunts.
Hot splatters coat my sex again while Luca groans, “Scarlett.” His palm falls beside me, catching the weight of his body while he heaves, releasing with a grunt that makes Zar groan. I can feel it. I can feel Luca’s cum dripping from my lips while Zar laps it up like he’s been dying for his taste.
“Luca,” I plead again because I can’t stand it. The pressure in my ass. The screaming of my clit. The ache in my empty pussy. The heat of Luca leaning over my back. My heart is crying for him.
“Luca, please.”
I beg, and he delivers. He takes over. Pushing my hand aside, he starts plunging the dildo into my ass again while he leans over, whispering in my ear, “Come, my belle. Feel me inside you. Come for me. Squirt for me. Want me. Need me like I need you. You’re mine, Scarlett, and you love it. I love it.”
Love.
It bursts.
I clench my teeth to keep my scream from escaping, groaning while the explosion through my sex buckles my knees. The painful pulsing, the sweet spasms in my core ripping my sight and breath away before I feel Zar’s hands grab my thighs, holding my body up while I shake with an orgasm so intense, I whimper with need dripping down my thighs.
“Share it with her,” Luca commands. But he doesn’t sound evil; he sounds eased, adoring, and satisfied. Gently, he lifts me, guiding me down to my shaking knees beside Zar.
While Zar cups my cheek, kneeling and poised over my open mouth, Luca caresses my collar. “You have me, my belle. You have us,” Luca promises as Zar drizzles the flavor of our bond over my waiting tongue. “Taste my devotion to you,” Luca vows. “I’ll give you all you deserve. Always.”
The choiceson the Greek menu overwhelm me. Usually, Luca orders Moussaka for us, but I’m starving for something more today.
“Is the Stifado good?” I ask.
“Everything we serve is good,” Zar boasts. This restaurant is my favorite. My second favorite is our restaurant in Seoul. It’s the Best Bulgogi in the world. And if that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum.”
Luca chuckles. “You’re getting more Texas by the day. What’s happened to you?”
“I’m happy,” Zar croons. “Ain’t you?”
It’s Friday. It’s been the usual week for us. I take Gia to school. Luca trusts me to do it daily while he and Zar are busy with the end-of-year reports. It feels like business and family, routine and perfect.
“Yes.” Luca even sounds it. “I’m happy.”
“What about you, Clipper?”
Zar tosses that nickname out for me, and I stomp his foot under the table. Not hard, just enough. “Call me that,” I answer, “and I’ll call you ‘Chipmunk’ for all the cum you can store in your cheeks.”
Luca snorts his water, but Zar strums his fingers, highly amused. “Sounds like a deal to me.”
“Sounds like your death to me.”
“You two, keep it down,” Luca warns with a grin. “You’re making it obvious.”
“No,” Zar leans back in his chair, “she’s making it fun.”
“Speaking of fun…” Luca signals for the waiter. “Let’s do a movie night with Gia. Let’s make it a Friday tradition on Celine’s night off.”
I reach for his thigh beside me. No one can see while I gently caress it, feeling Luca’s hand fall over mine. “I love that idea,” I share, so punch drunk on love that I’d suffer The Little Mermaid a thousand times.
But Zar’s tone drops. “I gotta pass.”
The waiter arrives to take our orders while it stirs in the air. Something. Zar’s hiding something.
“Why?” I ask once we’re alone again. “Do you have a hot date?”
“No,” Zar answers.
“A random hookup?”
“Nah.”
“Then what is it?”
“He always goes out on Friday nights.” Luca makes it sound okay.
“Where do you go?” But I probe, dying to know. “Can we go with you?”
“I always go alone,” is all Zar offers as the light in his eyes dims.
He’s hurting. It makes me reach for his hand with my empty one. “What’s wrong?”
Gently, Zar holds my hand on the table while Luca squeezes my hidden hand on his thigh.
“Scarlett.” Rarely, Zar calls me by my name. Rarely, he commands me, “Don’t ask.”
“Why? I don’t understand. What’s wrong?” I turn to Luca. “Do you know where he goes?”
Luca shakes his head, genuinely innocent, but not really. He guesses something. I can see it twisting his brows.
“If you two don’t tell me what’s going on…” I start pulling my hands away, but Zar grabs, not letting me go. Luca, too.
“I go to the movies,” Zar confesses.
“So…” I stammer. “Why is that a secret?”
Again, he doesn’t answer. Neither does Luca. And you can cut the sudden tension with a chainsaw.
“I’m not doing this.” I shake my head, literally feeling pulled between them. “Tell me what’s going on, or I swear I’ll?—”
“Because he used to go to the movies with Darby on Fridays.” Luca’s voice drops to an octave rife with pain. “Because I was always too busy, so Zar would take her. He’d give her a little break and the attention she deserved while Abbey watched Gia.”
I turn my gaze back to Zar. Grief twists his face, so I squeeze his hand. “Why is that such a secret?”
For the first time, shame strikes Zar down. He drops his chin. Forever, he doesn’t answer, and Luca doesn’t help him, which is rare.
“Because,” Zar finally lifts his beaten stare, “I go to Darby’s grave every Friday night, too.”
The breath I need to draw hurts. It burns through me. For Zar’s sake. For Luca’s. My stare searches between them as they lock eyes but don’t say a word.
“Why?” I softly ask.
“Because I loved her.” Pain shakes Zar’s voice; all his swagger, gone. “Because I love him, and I loved her, and I go to pay my respects. I tell her about our week, about Gia and?—”
“Stop.”
There’s not an ounce of anger in Luca’s tone. Only compassion. Only pain. He doesn’t want Zar to say what hurts him. Who? Both men. I can feel it, but I still don’t understand.
“Do you go to her grave?” Gently, I ask Luca, squeezing his hand, too. It’s starting to sweat in my grasp.
“No.” Grief sounds like glass in Luca’s throat. “It hurts too much. And Gia’s too young to go. It confuses her. When she’s old enough, I’ll go then.”
“So I go for us,” Zar helps him. “I bring her fresh flowers every week. Irises were her favorite and…”
Luca leaves me fresh flowers on my desk every day.
A tear suddenly escapes over my lashes, surprising me. Zar sees it, gently wiping it away with his thumb. “Don’t cry, gorgeous.” His grin is instant; it’s tender. “You’ll fuck up your mascara.”
“That’s my new nickname.” It falls over my lips, wanting to light up his eyes. It works.
“Yes, Gorgeous,” he cocks a full smile, “it sure is.”
“I’m not mad at him.” Tenderly, Luca tugs my hand, turning my watery stare to his.
I don’t know this emotion crushing my heart for them; I just know it’s bittersweet.
“I loved her,” Luca explains, “and I love him, too. I knew he loved Darby, and I’m thankful he did because I became a very angry young man and a bad husband. I was an asshole. I didn’t know how to handle the grief of my dad dying, the stress of taking over the family business, of being a new father and a good husband, too. I didn’t know how to handle it until I had no choice. But I was never angry with them. I was angry with myself. I left Darby feeling lonely and abandoned, and she deserved better. She deserved to feel loved.”
Luca’s thumb caresses my hand, the grief in his eyes trapping me forever.
He’s trying to confess to me, but he’s not. He’s trying to tell me, but he won’t. He says, “Like you deserve love, too, my belle.”
Like he’s trying to warn me…
Because I agree.
Luca’sgiant hand grabs a fistful of popcorn. Amused, I watch him shovel the snack into his waiting mouth, pieces falling into his lap, but he looks like Gia’s twin. Both have their eyes glued to the flatscreen.
I convinced them to watch Brave as our Friday night Disney movie, so they’re enthralled. They’ve never seen it.
It takes Luca minutes to realize I’m watching him, not the animated movie. When he finally busts me, he winks, “It’s the best.”
“What? The movie about a fiery redheaded girl with good aim?” I smile back. Leaning against his upholstered headboard, I love our new tradition.
“That and…” He’s so sexy when he smiles at me. “This.” He drops his greasy, buttery fingers over my hand.
I roll my eyes, grinning, while he turns his attention toward me, letting Gia dance excitedly in front of the foot of his bed. She has this cute habit of moving her body the entire movie while her eyes won’t move from the screen.
Zar left a couple of hours ago.
To Gia, it was normal, but to me, I felt something shift. Something was different in the way Luca offered to walk Zar to the door, so I peeked around the corner from the living room and watched.
I couldn’t hear what they whispered, but Luca grabbed the back of Zar’s neck, and tentatively, Zar reached for Luca, holding his waist while Luca’s kiss ghosted Zar’s forehead.
Then, they fell into a tight embrace, and the lump in my throat was instant. Love, forgiveness, and passion seized their muscles, their bodies cleaving together until Luca kissed Zar’s cheek.
Like it was a blessing.
Then Zar left for Darby’s grave, and I trust he’ll return.
Sometimes, though, I fear Luca’s heart will be forever trapped at Darby’s grave.
The movie blares in the background while Luca studies me, too damn intensely and hot. “Do you have a passport?” he asks.
“No.” I take another sip of Ouzo and water. I’m getting addicted to many Greek flavors, especially him.
“Let’s get you one.” He squeezes my hand. “I’ll have it expedited in time for some trips.”
“Trips?”
“Yes.” His thumb rubs over mine. “Come with us to Paris for Christmas. Meet my mother, and then we’ll go to Mykonos for the New Year.”
I’m afraid to agree to this paradise. I’ve never left the country, and now Luca wants me to embark on a new global life with him, Gia, and maybe Zar.
Funny, I’ve stared down worthy opponents who wanted to beat the shit out of me, but the idea of a family vacation scares me. It’s all my heart desires.
And fuck, I need to pick an emotion to wear on my face because I confuse Luca, whose voice drops. “You don’t want to go with us?”
“Oh, I want to go. I’m just afraid I won’t want to come back.”
He smirks. “You’re afraid I’ll romance you in Paris?”
I smirk back. “You’re afraid to see me naked in Mykonos?”
With a cute scowl, he teases, “Not in front of the children.”
“But you said nudity is natural and normal in Greece.”
He lowers his gaze, all sexy as-fuck. “I’m half French, too, so I’ll get a full boner watching you naked on the beach, and my hard cock’s so big, it’s not family-friendly.”
I snort because he’s right. Then I blush because I really want a very adult vacation with him, too—just me and him. But that may never happen, and…
“Bali,” he commands, tugging my hand. “I’m taking you there in April for your birthday—just me and you.”
How the hell did he know my birthday? And how the fuck did he read my mind?
HIF #16: More accurately how-I’m-NOT-fucked.
I shake my head, imagining a tropical paradise and celibate hell all in one magical location. Like a convent in the middle of a swingers resort with me and Luca, naked and aroused, and him not fucking me.
I’d feel rejected if he didn’t make me feel so adored.
“Scarlett.” He reaches for my cheek, reading my mind again and freaking me out because he turns my heart into defenseless mush. “I don’t want to go anywhere without you. I want to be with you. I?—”
“But you won’t be with me, Luca,” I whisper. “Not totally. I’m waiting on you, but for how long and?—”
“I can’t.” His dark brows knit with regret. “You know why and?—”
“Baba.” Gia whips around, her brows knitted, too. “Why did my mommy go to heaven?”
I swear, the temperature drops. The room is suddenly cold. A shiver blooms down my flesh like Darby’s beautiful ghost that haunts Luca’s soul is suddenly standing in the room with us, the timing not lost on me.
“Because,” Luca sits up, clearing his throat, “the angels needed her.”
I glance over Gia’s shoulder and, inwardly, kick myself. I forgot this movie is about a daughter and mother. And I should never be allowed to be a mom because I should’ve known better. Gia’s not ready for this.
She only grows more confused. “But why did the angels need my mommy?”
“She died, my kóri.” Luca’s tone drops deeper than I’ve ever heard. “So the angels needed her up in heaven to watch over you.”
Gia looks at the ceiling. She’s not sad, but I see grief twisting Luca’s handsome face.
Has he talked with Gia about this yet?
“How did she get up there?” Gia asks the ceiling. “I don’t see her.”
“We don’t see angels,” he answers. “But they’re always up there, loving you.”
But I glance down.
Luca still wears his wedding band every day, and every day, I notice. Sometimes, when he’s intimate with me or being so Dom, I see it, but it doesn’t feel wrong. It’s not wrong. It’s powerful. It bonds me to his pain. I’m trying to honor his promise and trying to be honest that I don’t know how long I can. But I love him, so I keep fighting.
“Baba?” Gia still stares at the ceiling. “How did my mommy die?”
Though his tan is permanent and deep, the life drains from Luca’s face.
“She died in an accident, my kóri.”
“Why?”
“The car was going very fast.”
“Why?”
“She didn’t mean to drive that fast.”
Gia cants her head, aiming her stare on him, her smart little mind working to make sense of it. “Was she grumpy? You drive fast when you’re grumpy, too.”
It hitches Luca’s breath, his daughter’s questions dredging up the pain he tries to bury.
“No,” he mutters. “She wasn’t grumpy.” He pauses, his lips tensing. “She was happy. She was laughing with me and didn’t mean to go that fast.”
He’s lying.
I can see it.
I can hear it.
I pray Gia can’t because Luca’s doing it to protect Gia’s imagination about her mother.
But since he’s lying, the opposite must be true.
Darby was driving fast, but she wasn’t laughing. She was…crying? Yelling? Those are the only emotions I can imagine making a driver lose control of a car, particularly in a torrential downpour.
“Will she come back like Merida’s mom?”
See, I’m a horrible person.
I should’ve protected Gia from this movie. The fantasy about a mother who suffers a spell made by a witch, turning her into a bear, taking her from her daughter until the daughter breaks the spell and brings her mother back, is only making reality hard for Gia to understand and for Luca to explain.
The lump in Luca’s swallow is visible. “No, my kóri. She’s not coming back. She watches over everything you do from heaven. She’ll always be your angel for the rest of your life.”
With a tiny eyebrow raised, Gia studies the ceiling again. Half of me wants to cry at Luca’s grief, but that’s not what Gia’s feeling. She’s too young. She’s skeptical. She’s concerned.
And…Gia looks too cute.
If her mother’s angel can see her, she’d agree.
“Does my mommy watch me poop?” Gia wonders aloud, and I snort, choking down fits of laughter.
I can’t help it.
I worried the same about Santa Claus and the whole “he sees when you’re sleeping; he knows when you’re awake.” I went to the bathroom in the dark for months until my mom got so frustrated that she burst that fairytale bubble.
A sudden smile takes Luca’s face, too. “No, my kóri. Angels give you privacy in the bathroom. Anytime you want something, tell your angel.”
Gia smiles. Mischief, like Zar’s, dances in her eyes. Power, like Luca’s, booms from her little voice as she commands the ceiling, “Angel! Give me a puppy named ‘Baklava!’”
My laughter escapes. “I told you.” I elbow Luca. “She’s going to wear you down. She’ll make you change your mind.”
Relief and joy relax his face. He reaches for my hand. Leaning over, he gently kisses my cheek, promising, “My daughter is the only one who can.”
And for months, it’s true and happy and perfect between us.
Until…it’s not.