Chapter 10
manspreading
Saige
Islip out of bed before my alarm—slowly, so as not to disturb Dax. Arcadia gets up and follows me out of the bedroom, her tags a little loud for my comfort, but even so, they don't wake him. I close the door behind me, but I don't let it latch.
He didn't wait until morning to fuck me again.
The house is a lot less menacing when the three of them are asleep.
I shower and do my makeup, leaving my hair in loose waves down my back. Then, I dress in some of the clothes I bought yesterday—a flannel skirt and an oversized crew neck sweatshirt. I opt for my Docs instead of sneakers, checking my reflection in the mirror.
I almost feel like an actual human today. But I know that will end once I leave this room. And I already smell coffee; someone is awake now.
I find Dax in the kitchen with Nolan. Both lean against the counter, just centimeters separating them, and Dax dips his head and whispers something in his ear.
He told me Nolan doesn't like to be touched, but I watched Dax touch him on the couch the other day, and their fingers are intertwined now. I realize that after last night, I wasn't really prepared to see Nolan like this. I barely look at either of them when I walk into the kitchen.
"Is there any more coffee?"
"Of course, baby. You can have whatever you want," Dax says. He pulls a mug from the cabinet just above him. "Let me show you how this works."
I cross my arms in front of me, and Dax shows me how to use his fancy espresso machine.
"You look really pretty, by the way," he says, kissing me while the cup fills.
"Now, you're wearing lipstick," Nolan tells him.
"I am?" He checks his reflection on the door of the microwave. "Oh, shit, you're right. Did I get it?" he asks after wiping it with his thumb.
"Not really."
Dax shrugs. "Oh, well. I'm sure I still look good." He runs his hand down my backside until it reaches the hemline of my skirt, toying with it between his fingers. "This is cute. Did I buy it for you?"
I nod, taking a sip of my coffee. "Yeah."
"Well, you're welcome, baby."
I shake my head and go to the fridge to grab the milk and eggs, accidentally making eye contact with Nolan in the process, and my heart stops for a moment. He doesn't react; he doesn't bother looking away, even when I do.
I feel my face flush.
"What are you making, Ripley?" Dax asks, grabbing a seat at the bar.
"Pancakes," I tell him, grabbing a bowl to mix the batter. It's early enough that I should be able to make some and even take one out the door with me before Elias wakes up.
And then I won't have to cook for some random girl again.
"You should get a waffle maker, though," I add. "I like waffles better."
"I'm kind of surprised you know how to cook," Dax says. "No offense."
"Single parent. My mom usually didn't get home from work until eight o'clock. The only meal we had together was breakfast."
"So we're continuing the family tradition."
"This is not a family. It's a consequence."
"That's not entirely true; your brother is here."
"He's not my brother. In fact, I'd like to get out of here before he wakes up. Hey, actually…do you know his schedule?"
Dax narrows his eyes. "Why do you ask?"
"Isn't it obvious? I want to avoid him."
"Mmm…I don't think I should tell you that. I don't think he'd like it."
"Why not? He hates me. I'm sure it would improve both of our moods."
"Yeah, but Elias likes to be in a bad mood. He's kind of made it his entire aesthetic. I can't take that away from him."
"I'll send you his class schedule," Nolan says.
Dax gasps. "Traitor."
"And he and Dax go to the gym almost every evening around six."
"How does he manage that with his shoulder?"
Dax and Nolan exchange a look before Nolan says, "There's nothing wrong with his shoulder, Saige."
"What do you mean?"
I flip the last of the pancakes just as Elias's bedroom door opens and closes.
Fuck. I was so close. At least there's only one set of footsteps. Whoever she was must have left already.
"I'm leaving," I mutter.
"No, stay," Dax says. "I know your class doesn't start until nine."
"I don't want to stay and eat with him."
"You'd be staying with us, not him," Nolan says.
He places his hand against the small of my back, and instantly I freeze up. He's touching me, but I know I'm not allowed to touch him.
"You do look really pretty today, by the way. I like your lipstick, even though Dax fucked it all up."
"Um…thanks."
"There's something about red lipstick, isn't there? I can't stop thinking about how it would look smeared all over my dick."
"Why don't you show us right now, Saige?" Elias says as he strolls into the kitchen. "We've both seen you take Dax's cock already, anyway. That's how it works in this house—sharing is caring."
I don't know how he knows about what happened with Nolan last night already, but it doesn't feel good. Heart pounding, I toss the last of the pancakes onto the plate. "No thanks. I actually have to go."
"Go where?" Elias asks.
"I have an assignment I need to print for history," I lie.
"I guess I'll have to wait for my turn to watch the show, then. I'll save you a seat in psych."
Steadily, I exhale relief and then return to the bedroom to retrieve my backpack.
"See you later, Saige," Dax says through a mouthful of food as I make a beeline toward the door.
I try to get to psychology early and sit in the front, but I have a class on the other side of campus, and even though I'm out of breath from tearing over here, I still don't make it before Elias.
He sits at that same spot in the back, sprawled out across his seat and the two on either side of him. He almost makes the seats look comically small with how imposing he is. I watch his mouth while he chews on the end of his pen, pulling it out from between his teeth before smirking at me.
My shoulders slump, and I move down the row, dropping into the seat beside him.
His facial hair has grown out a little—I don't think he's shaved since before that night. It looked like this when I met him, too; it softens him somehow.
I remember the way it felt against my chest when he bit me. It took forever for that bruise to heal. I couldn't stop pressing on it.
"Can you at least get off me?" I ask, opening my laptop.
"I'm not on you."
"Yes, you are, Elias. You're manspreading all over me. Your leg is fully under my desk, rubbing up against me, and your elbow is jutting into my side."
He scoffs. "So? What do you need all of that room for? I could put you in my pocket."
"It's called personal space."
"You don't get personal space anymore. You've lost the privilege, haven't you? Besides, you live in my personal space."
He stretches out, somehow making himself even bigger, his arm hanging over into my chair with his hand against my bare leg.
I really need to rethink my clothing choices on days we have class together.
"Hey, Elias!" I look up at the familiar face, and all the air leaves my lungs.
I try to make myself even smaller at his side, hoping she doesn't notice me. I lean over my laptop, resting my head on my hand, attempting to use that and my hair to obscure my face.
"Hey, Sasha," he says. "What's up?"
"I didn't know you were in this class!" she says. "I thought it was only for freshmen. Can I sit here?"
No, I think. Please, no.
"Yeah. You're coming to the party tonight, right?"
No. I never considered there would be more people from our high school at this party.
"Oh, for sure," she says. "I seriously can't wait to hang out with you guys again. Dax actually texted me right when I got to campus, and I texted him back, but then I never heard anything from him again."
"Yeah, we've been a little busy…"
I feel him looking over at me now. I'm sure he senses my discomfort—he has to see it in my body language, especially since he lives for it, and I wait for him to capitalize on it.
I want to fucking die.
Sasha was in my year, but she was always one of Elias's minions. She slammed my fingers in my locker one day when they were walking down the hall together. Two of them broke, and I had to tell my mom I fell on them during gym class.
That was back when I still thought he would stop.
She kept it going for him after he was gone, but once I got a reputation for swinging, her assaults were only verbal. And then Elias paid her to sleep with my grad date. I don't know what you'd call that.
They kept seeing each other for a while, too, even after he found out she was paid to do it.
They keep talking, and to my surprise, Elias doesn't single me out. And even though she spent so much time making my life hell along with him, she still doesn't notice me sitting beside him.
If I did something like that to someone, I would recognize them. It would sit with me.
I can't even hear what they're saying over my internal dialogue—the panic and the sound of my own heartbeat. Her laughter cuts through it all just as the professor makes her way to the front of the room, and I can't fucking take it anymore.
I close my laptop, grab my bag, and rush toward the aisle.
"Saige," Elias says sharply. I pause, barely looking at him over my shoulder. "Don't."
"Oh, my god, is that your sister?!" Sasha laughs. "Ew! What's she doing here?"
Fuck this.
I turn back around, tears stinging my eyes as I make my way down the aisle toward the front of the classroom. Laughter follows me, but he won't make a scene now that class has started, and whatever punishment I might get is worth it to avoid sitting through this bullshit.
I can barely focus for the entirety of the lecture, hardly taking notes, and I'm sure I'll have to pay for that somehow, too. I want to die when class ends; I stay in my seat until everyone else has cleared out, ensuring Elias is gone before making my way toward the door.
But he's still in the hallway—waiting for me. And Sasha is with him.
I don't think they let you punch people and get away with it at university. But then again, I did murder someone, didn't I?
Maybe I can get her out on Elias's balcony.
"I have to go," Elias tells her once our eyes meet. "See you tonight."
Shit. I speed-walk toward the exit and out of the building.
"Saige!" he calls after me. "Get your ass back here."
He catches up with me, grabbing me by my arm. "Don't touch me!" I shout, shaking him off.
To my surprise, he actually lets go, although it's unlikely because I have any kind of agency. It's probably because of the public setting. "What the fuck is your problem?"
My mouth gapes. "Are you serious? Do you really not know, or are you just playing dumb jock? I really can't tell."
"Don't fucking mouth off to me."
I turn, storming off in the other direction. "Hey! Where are you going?"
"I'm going to change my schedule. I'm not going to sit in class with both of you. I'm not going to the party tonight, either."
"Yes, you are. Or I'll—"
"I don't care!" I tell him. "I don't fucking care, Elias. I'm not going to a party with a bunch of girls who bullied me in high school at your fucking behest. She broke my fingers, and you laughed. You made her sleep with my boyfriend, Elias. I'm not going to do it."
"I thought he wasn't your boyfriend."
I sigh, defeated. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"
I still have that little black dress hanging on the back of my door to remind me not to let it happen again.
"Don't worry—I can still send you notes. I'll even come over and clean up like you asked. I just can't do this."
"Wait a second."
He stops me again, this time grabbing me by my hair and pulling me to his side. "Stay," he growls in my ear.
In his other hand, his phone is ringing with Sasha's name scrolling across the screen.
"Hey!" she says when she answers. "Did you miss me already?"
"No," he says. "You're actually uninvited to the party. Don't come to our house."
"What?" She laughs a little. "What are you talking about?"
"And don't fucking sit by me in class, either. You sit in the front now."
"Elias, what the hell? You're joking, right?"
"No, I'm dead fucking serious."
"Why? What the hell did I ever do to you?"
"Because Saige doesn't fucking like you—that's why."
"Saige? Since when do you give a shit about that fucking skank?"
"Doesn't matter. She doesn't like you, so don't fucking come over." He turns the camera toward me. "Say bye to Sasha, Saige."
It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make anything Elias did to me even a little bit better, but still…
I have to admit I'm enjoying the look on her face.
I smirk. "Bye, Sasha."
"Fuck you!" she shouts when he turns the camera back toward him. "I only did all of that stuff to her because of you."
"Don't care. Maybe don't be such a fucking follower next time," he says before hanging up.
I hold in a laugh.
Elias isn't funny. Elias isn't my friend; he isn't on my side.
"We good now?"
Don't smile. Do not fucking smile at him.
I break eye contact and shrug. "We'll never be good."
Elias shakes his head and stuffs his phone back in his pocket. "So anyway, I'll see you at the house later, Saige. Don't fucking be late this time."
He walks off, and I turn in the other direction, heading toward the food court. And now that I know no one is watching, I remember the look on Sasha's face and allow myself to smile.