15. Tanner
Chapter Fifteen
Tanner
Beige, my ass
I studied Ava, my heart aching for her. Although her default mode was to use humor to deflect, her bruised emotions shimmered under the surface at this moment. I hated that someone caused her pain.
I wasn’t thinking when I reached for her hand on the counter, curling mine over hers. She blinked before her eyes widened slightly. After a beat, she curled her fingers into mine and squeezed.
“Look,” I began. “I’m not an expert. My one serious relationship didn’t exactly end well, but I still think it’s worth trusting again.”
“Who do you trust, Tanner?” Her tone was somber, her brows arching up and doubt flashing in her gaze, almost defiantly.
“Everyone on my hotshot crew.”
She sputtered a laugh. “Well, that’s good.”
“My mom,” I added. Maybe we had some baggage there, but I did trust her now. “And my sister.”
“What about your dad?” she asked carefully. “I know you said he passed, but…”
I shook my head before she finished. “Didn’t trust him,” I said simply.
She looked surprised, drawing back just a little. “Why?”
“My dad was an asshole.”
Ava’s brows flew up. “Oh. Oh.”
“He was verbally and sometimes physically abusive to all of us.” I’d learned to say it plainly.
“Well, I’m sorry,” she murmured. “Maybe I have some issues with my parents, but they’re not that.” When she squeezed my hand again, my heart twisted.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ve come to terms with it. He’s gone.”
She watched me closely for a beat before her lips curved just a little. “You’re a good man, Tanner.”
“I try,” I said simply.
Her eyes shone a little, but she cleared her throat. “That’s what really matters. To try.” She released my hand and took a sip of water. “I’m sorry about your dad,” she added.
“It’s okay. I was just being honest. It’s not like it’s a secret around town. Maybe not everyone knew all the details, but he was known for being an asshole.” I gave my head a shake, not wanting to dwell on this.
Ava tilted her head to the side. “Should we lighten this conversation?”
I chuckled. “Yeah. We’ve covered the heavy stuff for tonight, I think.”
“We have,” she said with an eye roll before gesturing at the food. “Dinner was delicious.”
“They make good food,” I agreed. “How’s your pain, by the way?”
“It's fine. I just have to be careful. Now that I’m out of the hospital, the urge to put weight on my foot is strong.”
“I bet. Most of us don’t think about walking.”
“Exactly. I start physical therapy tomorrow. I’m excited.” She wiggled her shoulders.
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re excited?”
She snorted a laugh. “Yeah. I just want to keep moving along in this recovery, so I’m back to normal soon.”
Ava looked down at her lap, biting her bottom lip. Fuck me. That tiny gesture about lit me on fire. She had no idea how sexy she was. None.
“What are you worried about?”
“Well,” she lifted a hand and let it fall, “you know. My life is totally disrupted. I need to get home. I can work from here, but...” She chewed the inside of her cheek. “I think I’m having an existential crisis,” she said earnestly.
“What do you mean?”
“I love it here,” she admitted, waving toward the window, “but I’m just here because…” She pointed at her foot. “And I’m scared. I don’t want to go home.” She sighed again. “I don’t know what the hell to do. And then there’s my parents…”
“What about them?”
“They didn’t want me to file for divorce. They want me to keep my ‘good job,’ stay put, and keep everything stable. But I don’t want to be there. I’ve supported my family for years. I don’t resent it, exactly, but it’s just tiring.”
“What do your parents do?”
She hesitated. “Well, our whole life revolved around my sister growing up. She had a fall when she was little, had a head injury, and developed severe seizures.” Her voice softened.
“My dad works, but my mom gave up everything to care for her. Now she’s in her sixties and doesn’t know what to do.
She does some substitute teaching, but I’ve given them money for years. I’ll keep doing it.”
I nodded. “I get supporting your parents emotionally, financially too. I’d do it for my mom. But you’re allowed to do something for yourself. They’ll figure it out.”
“They might,” she said. “I’m an executive assistant. They’re letting me work remotely for now, but I partly think so because my boss is the one who had the affair with my ex.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said flatly.
She shrugged. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Do you have a time frame?”
“At least two months,” she muttered, glaring at her ankle boot.
“Do you want to go home?” I pressed, honestly curious.
She twisted her lips to the side. “Not really. I could pay extra for a medical flight, but I’m telling my parents I can’t afford it.” Her dry laugh made my chest ache. “I’m going to do my recovery here. Chris is the best damn physical therapist in the world.”
“He’s a good guy.”
Ava looked at the counter again before lifting her gaze to mine. “Okay. Can we really stop talking about the heavy stuff?”
“Absolutely. What should we talk about?”
“Town gossip,” she said brightly, her eyes twinkling. “Tell me everything.”
I burst out laughing. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I love gossip. Don’t judge.”
I held a hand up. “No judging.”
“You know what gossip really is historically?” I shook my head. “A way women kept each other safe, a way to pass information in a socially acceptable way. Sure, sometimes it gets warped. But that was how women took care of each other.”
I eyed her. “Wow.”
“I contain multitudes, Tanner.” She waggled her brows.
I grinned. “Apparently.”
“Okay, fine,” she sighed. “You don’t want to gossip, so let’s watch a show together. Unless you need to go?” Her eyes bounced to mine, uncertainty flickering there.
“I’d love to watch a show.”
“Should we put all this up?” she asked, looking at the food.
“I’ve got it.”
“Oh no. Don’t be that kind of guy.”
“What kind of guy?”
“The ‘I’ll do everything, you just sit there’ guy.”
I stood, already gathering containers. “Uh, a guy who puts leftovers in the fridge? Not exactly running a marathon here. Go sit on the couch. Put your foot up. That’s what you’re supposed to do right now.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “Okay.”
She moved slowly, her boot thunking against the floor, and I watched her as she settled onto the couch. Damn. There was something about Ava—vulnerability threaded with sassy boldness. She didn’t know it yet, but she wasn’t the only one trying to figure out what came next.
I sat down on the couch beside her a few minutes later. “Are you going to take the leftovers with you?” she asked.
“They’re yours.”
Ava literally beamed at me. Every time she smiled, awareness sizzled through me. My heart kicked a little harder in my chest.