20. Tanner
Chapter Twenty
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Bagels & big feelings
I was still half aroused when I got home that night. The short drive from Ava’s place to mine had barely cooled me off. It had been all I could do not to take things further with her.
Her ex seemed like ten shades of asshole and then some. My gut told me it was important for her not to feel like sex was just a transaction. I didn’t think that transaction had ever actually happened for her. She’d never experienced the other side of the equation, which made it even worse.
Sometimes sex was transactional. I had no judgment around that. Hell, sex work was honorable, in my opinion. I thought back to my ex, the only serious relationship I’d ever had. It hadn’t been perfect, but we’d had fun. Even when she dumped me, she said the one thing she was going to miss was sex.
I was relieved when I took matters into my own hands in the shower.
After I toweled off and changed into sweats and a T-shirt, I padded into the living room, dropped onto the couch, and leaned my head back.
Life since my ex dumped me three years ago had been one situationship after another even though I didn’t do casual well. At all.
Even those had been spread few and far between because I didn’t trust anyone emotionally and didn’t want anyone to get ideas. Maybe that was because I had my own wounds, and they still stung.
Later, as I drifted off to sleep, all I remembered was the feel of Ava trembling in my arms.
“Hey, hey.”
I glanced over at Leo, who’d just stopped beside me in line at Firehouse Café. “Hey, man, what’s up?”
He waggled his brows. “Coffee and donuts. What’s up with you?”
“Same,” I said with a chuckle.
“Casey working?” I asked.
“Of course. Dropped her off earlier.”
Casey came through the swinging door behind the counter. She smiled brightly when she saw Leo. “Hey, sweetheart.”
“Hey, babe,” he said, grinning. “She started calling me sweetheart,” he added, turning toward me.
“You two are together. Happily, right?”
“Well, yeah. Dora asked why Casey didn’t call me something sweet, so now I’m sweetheart.” Leo rolled his eyes. “I don’t mind. I feel confident in my masculinity.”
“Good thing,” I teased as Luna came from the back to the counter just as the bell rang on the door behind us.
I glanced over and saw Parker walking in with Griffin, Kincaid, Beck, and Graham—all fellow hotshot firefighters. “Did we all have the same idea this morning?”
“I guess.” Parker shrugged.
“Who’s in charge of buying everybody’s coffee?” Graham quipped.
“Not me,” I said instantly. “I got here first and already ordered a box of donuts.”
Luna smiled as she passed a fresh box across the counter to me. Just then, Janet came out from the back. “Hey, Janet,” we all said in unison.
Janet—owner and founder of Firehouse Café—had known most of us since we were kids. She smiled warmly. “Hi, boys.”
“Are we really boys?” Griffin asked.
Janet rolled her eyes, her gaze twinkling. “You might be men, chronologically speaking, but in my heart, you’re all boys. Most of you grew up here, and I’ve known you since you were little.”
Conversation meandered along, full of quips and jokes. A gust of cold spring air swirled in as Josie and Tate walked in hand in hand. Tate was another firefighter. Josie beamed when she stopped beside the group. “Thank you for bringing Ava dinner last night,” she said as soon as she saw me.
“Of course,” I replied.
“Well, I’m gonna get some bagels, cream cheese, and definitely a donut for her this morning,” Josie said. “I’d get her a dozen, but...”
“They’re better fresh,” Luna chimed in from across the counter.
“I know,” Josie replied. “Ava also said she doesn’t want to eat an entire box by herself.”
“I could eat a whole box,” Parker offered.
“They’re the best donuts,” he added, winking at Luna, whose cheeks turned pink.
“We know they’re the best donuts,” I said. “But really, Parker, you don’t have to sell them just because you’re in love with Luna.”
He chuckled. “I speak the truth.”
“Facts,” Tate agreed.
“So what’s up with you and Ava?” Janet asked when there was a lull in conversation.
“What do you mean?” I returned.
“I mean, you brought her dinner,” Janet said, her eyes sharp.
“I know she’s probably feeling trapped. She can’t drive or anything. It’s a group effort. We’re making sure she doesn’t feel lonely while she’s out there.”
“She said she’ll be there at least a month,” Josie added. “It’s crazy. I had no idea breaking your ankle could mean such a long recovery.”
“I guess she needs medical accommodations to fly,” Casey said, joining the tail end of the conversation.
“I think she’s not sure she wants to go back home either,” Josie stated.
“Really?” Luna asked. I silently thanked her for asking because I was curious as hell.
“Yeah. I mean, she came here originally for her divorce trip,” Josie said.
“Alaska’s a great place for a fresh start,” Casey offered. “That’s why I’m here. Fresh start and all that.”
“Is that what it is, sweetheart?” Leo deadpanned. She rolled her eyes, grinning as he leaned across and gave her a kiss.